Hands of Lust, Hands of Gold
by Miss Pennyfeather
Summary: She will discover him and he will discover her and things will never be the same again. Another complicated Time-Turner fic.
1. Timely Errors

**_A story to be blamed on green apples, Massive Attack (the band) and Oscar Wilde. The action starts with the battle at the Ministry in Harry's Fifth Year. I hope you'll like it because I have to admit I did crack my knuckles and exhaust myself a little bit writing it all in one sitting. So please enjoy and tell me what you think (reviews would be lovely)!

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**Hands of Lust, Hands of Gold**

*

Yet each man kills the thing he loves  
By each let this be heard,  
Some do it with a bitter look,  
Some with a flattering word,  
The coward does it with a kiss,  
The brave man with a sword!

Some kill their love when they are young,  
And some when they are old;  
Some strangle with the hands of Lust,  
Some with the hands of Gold:  
The kindest use a knife, because  
The dead so soon grow cold.

Some love too little, some too long,  
Some sell, and others buy;  
Some do the deed with many tears,  
And some without a sigh:  
For each man kills the thing he loves,  
Yet each man does not die.

_Oscar Wilde- The Ballad of Reading Gaol (excerpt)_

*

Chapter 1: Timely Errors 

I had never really seen him.

I could guess what he looked like; I could guess what his red eyes looked like. I could guess that he had no expression and that his face only showed anger. But these were just assumptions.

Harry told me I should be ready for everything, but I was never quite ready for the army of Death Eaters that came upon us. I told myself I was brave and that no matter what happened I would keep my ground, but you know, for half a second, I felt like running away from that place, leaving all my friends behind just to save myself.

But it was only half a second. It passed as fast as it came in my mind and it never came back again. I found myself facing these men with masks and I found myself screaming but the sounds did not matter, only the lights emerging from our wands.

I saw people falling next to me but I couldn't help them, I had to save the others, I had to keep fighting.

I couldn't see Harry anymore and I was very frightened because without him there I seemed to have no real support. Ron was down, Ginny was down, Neville was in a critical state and I couldn't find Luna.

I heard great commotion further into the Ministry. One of the Death Eaters shouted the words "My Lord!" and I knew Voldemort had come to take part in the battle.

That thought alone coursed through my veins and froze them. I thought to myself: what would I do if I was confronted with him and Harry wasn't by my side?

He hated people like me, of my origins so he would end my life in a second.

And yet I still wanted to go join Harry because I was sure that he must be in the large entrance hall. Even if that meant facing that horrible man.

Unfortunately, one of the Death Eaters was blocking my way and even though I tried cursing him he would persist in chasing me. He pushed me against a shelf full of silvery trinkets and they fell over me and bruised and scratched me.

He pointed his wand at me.

'Now sweetheart, I'll give you the gift of death,' he said to me.

My wand had slipped from my grasp and as I searched for it frantically on the floor, I came upon a small hourglass.

'Avada…' he began but I shouted and turned the hourglass quickly.

* * *

First, I felt like I was in limbo which gave me a fright because I thought I had died.

Gradually, though, sensations came to me.

I felt I was sitting on something hard and wet and I felt strange hands touching my forehead and my neck, to check for a pulse probably. I wanted to open my eyes but I couldn't so I lay there sleeping as I was carried up. I didn't know where I'd be taken.

My mind was registering only feeble sounds; like the bustle of feet on the floor and the buzz of voices. They seemed to come from a different world.

After a long time up in the air, I felt something soft and warm and I knew it was a bed. Then the sounds became louder and I could discern voices. But I could not talk or open my eyes which frustrated me immensely because I wanted to know where I was and who was with me.

I couldn't have been captured by Death Eaters because they certainly wouldn't put me in a comfortable bed. I knew I was in a hospital because someone constantly tended to my wounds.

I was very grateful for this care, but I was alarmed that I couldn't do anything.

I waited for what felt like years to finally see the light of day. And I smiled when I saw the rays of sunshine stream through a small window. Every day under the sun was good.

A pretty nurse was sitting by my side.

'You are awake,' she said promptly and checked a file. 'It's about time.'

'Am I…in Saint Mungo?'

'You certainly are, Miss. We are very glad you are awake. We can finally identify you. Name and age please.'

My heart started racing as if she had just asked me my biggest secret. I wasn't sure this was the present. I was still alive so perhaps the time-turner had worked. It must have worked.

So I gave my mother's name before she married.

'Jane Greystone. I'm sixteen.'

She wrote down my name and signaled me to sit down because I was trying to get out of bed.

'Any parents, or relatives?'

'No…I am an orphan.'

'I see. And you have no guardian? You are a minor, after all.'

I did not have much time to think, therefore I said the first name that popped into my head.

'Albus Dumbledore.'

The nurse made a shocked face and straightened her glasses.

'Albus Dumbledore is your guardian?'

'Not exactly. But he took care of me after my parents died.'

She did not seem to believe me, but she nodded either way and made to leave the room, but before going out she looked at me again.

'Your clothes were very torn when you were brought here. The hospital has provided you with a decent dress.'

Then she slipped out quietly. I wanted to call her back because I had so many questions to ask her, but my head did hurt terribly so I decided to do what I had done before; wait.

It did not take long for my dread to materialize. Albus Dumbledore came to the hospital. I had no idea how I was going to explain this, I just hoped I could talk to him in private and explain everything to him. He was the only one I trusted.

I was greeted by a much younger Albus Dumbledore. He had the same twinkle in his eye but his hair was much darker and his beard much shorter.

'Thank you for letting me know she was here,' he told the nurse.

He turned to me with an indecipherable smile on his kind face and I knew in an instant that he was surprised by this occurrence.

'You may go now,' he told the nurse as he settled in a stool next to me.

'So, Miss Jane Greystone, might I ask how it is that you know me? As far as I'm concerned, you aren't one of my students at Hogwarts.'

'I know, Sir. I am very sorry to have troubled you. I…I heard many things about you. I heard you were a very kind wizard and I thought I could turn to you.'

'It is not very often that complete strangers turn to me for help, but I am glad whenever I can assist,' he said gently.

I opened my mouth to tell him everything. He would understand. But I saw the calendar on the opposite wall and I saw the year 1943 imprinted on it in red.

My heart got caught up in my throat and I started trembling, though I was trying hard not to make it visible. I had gone this far back in time!

'Yes, Miss Greystone?'

And then, before I knew it, the lies came pouring in, without me ever planning on telling them.

'My parents died when I was very young and I was afterwards taken in by an aunt who raised me and home-schooled me. She was a witch. She was the one who told me about you. She passed away a couple of months ago and I was left on my own. I tried getting a job but I was too young so I made the mistake of looking for help in Knockturn Alley…that did not go very well. All I remember is waking up here with several bruises.'

I was talking fast in order not to suddenly lose my courage. I had already probably changed the future. The last thing Dumbledore needed was to know my true identity. I thought this was a solid plan, but I knew that there was a problem I couldn't explain.

If, unfortunately, Dumbledore had seen me now that meant that he already knew me before I actually met him in my First Year. He hadn't seemed to recognize me at that time. He hadn't said anything about seeing me 50 years ago. So, I was quite confused.

'I agree, it was a very bad idea to go there alone and unprotected. It is a dangerous alley and not many escape from it safe and sound. But, Miss Greystone, the nurse informed me you were found in front of the Department of Mysteries at the Ministry.'

I gulped down my fear and tried speaking.

'Department of Mysteries? I have…no idea how I got there.'

'Hmmm…needless to say, it is very fortunate you are alive. And I daresay you made a risky call by naming me as your guardian. After all, you did not know whether the rumours about me were true,' he said.

'I suspected as much. I couldn't think of anyone else.'

Dumbledore looked at me with pity and sympathy. He probably thought I was insane, or worse for that matter.

I had to find the Time-Turner though and return in my time. Unfortunately, the damage had already been done. Dumbledore had seen me.

I tried forcing myself to tell him the truth again, but I couldn't find the strength. I just thought it was useless to do that now. I had to find the Time-Turner.

'Well, I certainly can't leave you here. If you have beckoned me to be your guardian, I will try and take care of you. I cannot promise much, however. As you probably know, I am a teacher at Hogwarts. I could perhaps arrange so that you could stay there for a while.'

'Oh, I wouldn't want to impose,' I said truthfully.

'Well, you have no home, no opportunity of education and no one to take care of you. I would like to assist you on that, if I may. I wouldn't want to leave you knowing that I did nothing to help the young lady who thought of me as her guardian.'

I smiled shyly and shook his hand awkwardly feeling like the earth would swallow me soon. I really wished to go home.

He left me for a while to go talk with the doctors and when I had a moment of privacy I quickly got out of bed and searched through the ward for my personal belongings.

I couldn't see my clothes anywhere, but I noticed my wand was placed in a small box on a table by the window.

I picked it up with relief and tried summoning the Time-Turner but nothing appeared.

I started to panic and tried again with the same result. I wanted to shout for it to come to me, but that wouldn't help.

So I started to search for it frantically in every nook and cranny.

Alas, I found nothing.

When Dumbledore returned, he saw me pale and discomposed.

'Is something the matter, Miss Greystone?'

'Nothing, Sir. I only feel a bit scared.'

'There's no need for that. I have settled things with the mediwizards. You will be checked out in about two days and at that time I shall come and take you to Hogwarts. How does that sound?'

I could only nod meekly. Without my Time-Turner I didn't have much of a choice at hand.

Dumbledore had accepted my story so quickly and was so ready to help that I couldn't help but feel he knew something more, but I abandoned the thought and focused on finding my Time-Turner. It was crucial at this moment.

I managed to make the nurse tell me what she had done to my clothes.

'I'm sorry, dear, but they were in a terrible state. We disposed of them. We like to keep the hospital sterilized of any possible infections.'

Could it have been that they took my Time-Turner too? Did they discover it?

No one from the Ministry had come to take me to Azkaban for tampering with the laws of time, so I supposed I was safe on that side.

What if they had thrown it away with the rest of the things?

I felt very weak and sad, because I felt I had done everything wrong, but I couldn't blame myself. I had wanted to save my life. There's nothing wrong in that.

But I had no way of getting out of this time unless I found another Time-Turner.

As time ticked by I realized that in two days Dumbledore would come to take me and that I had to settle my story straight so that I wouldn't seem suspicious.

I tried imagining what kinds of questions he would ask and I tried to imagine every possible situation.

I found myself laughing almost hysterically, because I was starting to play a game with myself, calling myself Jane, attempting to be someone else, all for the sake of time. Well, time had already been warped.

At times, I felt I should just confess and throw myself at Dumbledore's mercy. Surely he would give me another Time-Turner. Or would he? I guess that "surely" was a feeble assurance.

But when the time came to leave the hospital, I had no strength to tell him who I really was. I felt relieved to know a familiar face, because I didn't know anyone in the year 1943.

* * *

Our trip to Hogwarts was a pleasant one. I had thought he would ask me many questions, but he only inquired a bit into my family and I had prepared some answers for him. He didn't pry much and I was thankful for it.

He told me he had investigated the circumstances through which I was found at the Department of Mysteries. I was waiting for him to ask me if I had lied to him, because it seemed impossible for me to be there. Much to my shock, however, he said that the current guardian of the Department, who was a strange, conspicuous and somewhat unstable young man, had been apprehended for assaulting minors. Apparently this hadn't been his first case and he was finally sentenced to Azkaban.

I could not believe there was such a conjecture that was oddly in my favour.

'If this is the reason for your whereabouts there, I hope he has not inflicted any permanent damage,' he said sternly, but I could see he was upset.

'I think the doctors would have told me,' I replied. 'The nurse assured me I was fine.'

'Miss Greystone, I will ask you again. Are you sure you do not remember anything that happened to you? You don't remember this man?'

I shook my head with sorrow.

'Very well, I will take your word for it. But if you remember anything, please come to my office immediately. It won't be hard to find me at Hogwarts.'

I slept throughout most of the train ride so when I woke up it was night and I could see from afar the lit towers of the castle I loved.

Strangely enough, I felt a surge of happiness take over me, knowing I was at Hogwarts. This was the safest place on the planet.

Dumbledore took one of the carriages and we rode to the castle in silence.

He had told me all about Hogwarts during our journey and he had been pleased to find I knew some things about it. He told me the year was not quite over and that I would reside in one of the empty Head Girl chambers. He also mentioned that I would probably be sorted into a House for the following year and that my magical levels would be tested.

I acquiesced to everything. Again, there wasn't much I could do.

Hogwarts had not changed at all. The Great Hall, the moving stairs, the library, the classes, even the Astronomy Tower, they were all the same. There was a feeling of security in knowing that some things never changed.

However, I couldn't see my common room, because I wasn't in any House.

I was content with the room Dumbledore established for me.

It looked like the sort of room I would like to live in, were I a Head Girl.

From the first day, I spent most of my time in my room. Dumbledore would have wanted me to eat with all the children and roam the corridors freely, but I insisted I didn't want to and he granted me this wish. It wasn't hard to conceal me; there were only a couple of days of school left.

After all the students left for the summer holiday, I was free to go out and drink in the atmosphere of the castle once again.

I was taken to Headmaster Dippet first and foremost. He had probably discussed my situation thoroughly before because our interview was brief and curt. He only established that I was to become a Hogwarts student and follow certain rules in order to remain there. Even though he was all decorum, I could see he was suspicious of me. He was decided about letting me stay, but not about trusting me, or trusting Dumbledore on this decision.

He surveyed me as if I was an unforeseen menace. It was probably because I had appeared out of the blue and gained Dumbledore's help. Now I was in his school and I was a complete stranger. He did not know my name.

'I am Muggleborn,' I told him simply.

'I see. Well, there's no shame in that of course. We should get to sorting you in a House.'

The old Sorting Hat was taken out from a dusty cupboard. Memories of my First Year flooded my mind. I felt quite sad.

He made me sit on a stool and he placed the Hat on my head, covering my eyes.

I was certain he would place me in Gryffindor immediately.

'So, you want me to put you in Gryffindor. Why is that?' the Hat whispered in my ear.

'I think it's obvious,' I told the Hat. 'I am brave, caring and kind, or so I like to think.'

'That is odd, because I see someone very ambitious, but at the same time very scared.'

'I am not afraid,' I told him firmly.

'You are afraid, very much afraid, because you do _not _belong here and you don't know what to do,' it barely whispered again.

'That is not true…'

'You can't prove me wrong. Your thoughts are full of guilt, sadness and worry. But above all these reigns a composed calm that makes you bear your suffering with dignity. Why would a sixteen year old suffer, I ask you? But I can't tell you. All I know is that you belong in…'

And just like that, I was made a Slytherin.

I couldn't move. I was in a state of pure shock and revolt. I could barely contain myself from tearing the Hat away from me and hexing it.

Both Dippet and Dumbledore were surprised because not many Muggleborns made it in Slytherin. In fact, not many Half-Bloods did either.

'Well, this is probably one of the very few times when someone of your blood is let into this House. You must really deserve to be there,' Headmaster Dippet said.

I felt ashamed of me. What would Harry and Ron say right now if they knew? I was _not_ Slytherin material. But the Hat seemed to think different. It was my current state. It was the fact that I was slightly changed. How could I escape the fear? How could I?

'The other half-blood in Slytherin is our eminent Tom Riddle of course. Perhaps you'll have the same fate as him,' Headmaster Dippet added.

My mouth went very dry as I raised my eyes to meet his face.

This simple fact had completely escaped my knowledge. This sheer simple fact hadn't even crossed my mind. I didn't have time to worry about such a thing.

But how could I have not noticed it was 1943? The year had seemed ominous, engraved in red as I had first seen it, but I had ignored it. I should have paid more attention.

The two were watching me and I had to say something to divert their attention.

'Tom Riddle?' I asked, trying to stop my voice from shaking.

'He's a wonderful boy. He is the pride and joy of his House. You'll meet him this autumn, Miss Greystone. He might be able to understand your situation,' Headmaster Dippet said.

I wanted to run to Dumbledore and hug him and tell him I did not want to face Tom Riddle. I wanted to cradle in his safe arms and plead him to take me home.

The Hat had been right. I was a coward.

My mind was reeling. I had to leave Hogwarts before Tom Riddle saw me, before he met me, before he could remember me. I could not see Tom Riddle. I just could not and I would not.

'Miss Greystone, are you feeling alright?' a voice woke me up from my thoughts. It was Dumbledore.

'Yes, I'm fine, I am just a bit nervous about this,' I blabbered.

'There's nothing to be afraid of. Remember, you can always call on me for help,' he said, assuring. I knew Dumbledore wanted to help me, but he wanted to keep me close because he doubted me too.

He had every right to.

* * *

After that ominous meeting with the Headmaster I was left to live alone in the castle. I was not completely alone, but I did feel I was isolated. For some days I only saw house-elves, but then I felt joy to discover Hagrid was staying for the summer as well.

I remembered he had no home either and he couldn't return to the giants, so he lived in his little hut, separate from the rest of the students.

Having remembered his situation, I came to understand better why Dumbledore had helped me so freely. I desperately wanted to talk to Hagrid. I saw him on the grounds a couple of times and he looked so alone, but I knew I was supposed to get out of Hogwarts soon and be seen by as fewer people as possible.

So I had to keep quiet in my room and not interact with anyone.

I had a hard time trying to escape, though. I almost never found the front doors open and the gates were always locked. I could not Apparate, even if I knew how to and when I tried getting close to the Forbidden Forest, some powerful shields threw me off. This surprised me greatly. I did not know they put up shields in the summer. It seemed more natural to do so during the school year.

This silly suspicion that Dumbledore had done this passed through my head, but I dismissed it since it was far too ridiculous.

I was trapped in that school. I decided to ask Dumbledore if I could leave the school premises, but he stated that since I had nowhere to go, no income and no relatives it was not a very good idea.

I would never admit it, but I grew upset with him. I was unnerved by the fact that he kept so silent about me. I knew he must have searched for my deceased family and my so-called aunt. I didn't know whether fate would be on my side and I would escape his scrutiny or be doomed as a liar and be punished, but he wasn't giving anything away.

I grew more and more worried as August came to an end. One sunny afternoon, I was taken to the Ministry to be examined for my magical level. I succeeded at all the tasks and I got very good marks, but for the first time I felt absolutely no joy in it.

Headmaster Dippet was apparently impressed by my achievements and warmed up to me after I proved to be worthy of his school. He wasn't pungent anymore, a thing for which I was grateful. Dumbledore did not show his reaction, but I suspected he was even more careful with me now.

I was placed in Sixth Year.

Dumbledore informed me that the school would supply me with all academic purchases for the time being and that I would pay this debt later in life.

Everything was happening so fast, I had no time to breathe and take in everything that was going on with my life.

It was like someone else was ruling over my body and mind; someone who had been sorted into Slytherin and who was a coward.

But September did come and I could do nothing to stop it.


	2. Down with the Mudblood

_As above, so below, place your bets_  
_ Which way the head will roll_  
_ Made in your image, we are at least_  
_ As twisted and mean as thee_  
_ 'Fore your eyes, what a curious site_  
_ Your children have turned on you_  
_ And you say, you don't sleep well at night_  
_ Well, we'll take care of that for you_

Voltaire-The Headless Waltz

_*  
_

Chapter 2: Down with the Mudblood 

Having been a Gryffindor for most of my school years, I had no intimate knowledge about the Slytherin house, about its unspoken rules, its inner principles, or its ancient tradition, therefore I had to count on the small things that I did know about them.

Usually, whenever Ron and Harry bickered about the "twats" and "pricks" in Slytherin, I disapproved, arguing that generalizing an entire community because of some mentally challenged figures within that community is discrimination. I tried to think of Slytherin as a normal house that implied certain key traits of character and personality. Well, perhaps I am being hypocritical. I did think that those traits weren't admirable, proof of which is my disbelief at having been recently sorted into this house.

I could never see myself in this house for the simple reason that I can't stand being unethical. And ethics aren't the basis of this house, are they? If one wanted to survive in this house, one had to use other abilities that I was against. I've noticed this throughout the years. Slytherins are usually quite smart, with some notable exceptions. But in order to achieve a certain goal they would use other means than intelligence. And they did not aim for knowledge for the sake of knowledge. Rather, knowledge was just a stop point in their way to something they considered bigger.

And if they did not resort to intelligence, they resorted to some actions that only shamed a wizard. Once again, I did not believe all Slytherins acted this way. But I had had my share of experiences in class where some Slytherins got away with many things simply because they ignored that annoying thing called conscience.

From all this, I drew an early conclusion in my First Year that I wouldn't be happy in Slytherin. The Hat had placed me in Gryffindor for a reason; because I was brave, kind and hardworking. Or at least I thought that had been the reason for its choice.

Now, I was starting to doubt that. I had paranoid thoughts about my sorting. I thought that perhaps the Hat had put me in Gryffindor only because Harry and Ron needed me there; otherwise I could have been a good candidate for Ravenclaw…and apparently Slytherin. Now that I was alone in 1943, there was no reason for the Hat to put me in Gryffindor anymore perhaps.

I tried to get this thought out of my mind, though. The Hat would never do something like that, I tried telling myself.

But what I couldn't get out of my mind and I presumed I never would, was the fact that in a couple of hours I would see Tom Riddle. To make matters worse I had just remembered what I tried not to remember all along. Tom Riddle had opened the Chamber of Secrets and killed a young Muggleborn girl. If I remembered well this had happened last year. Dumbledore hadn't told me anything about it, thinking I would probably be scared in my condition, but I already knew.

What the school probably didn't know was that the culprit had been Tom Riddle. It was frustrating that I couldn't just yell it at the top of my lungs for all to hear. I had no clear evidence. And no one would probably believe me since Dippet had told me himself what a "charming" young man Riddle was. Had he charmed them all? No. Most likely Dumbledore had his reasons to mistrust him.

But he didn't have the power to take action against Tom Riddle and I believe no one really had, because he was probably very careful and played his cards right.

So you can see why I was terrified of meeting him. My plan of not being seen by Riddle was obviously ridiculous since not only did we share a house, but most likely we'd be in the same classes too. I could probably camouflage as best as I could, but he would eventually notice me, even if never actually talk to me. This would set some nasty events in the future, I just knew it, but for now I couldn't do much about it.

I was in this position where I had to take what was given to me. I didn't like it at all because I wasn't in control like I used to be. I used to control everything.

Tonight, I'd have to face my fears and sit at the Slytherin table for the very first time. The feast wouldn't take long, but it would take long enough for me to sit there in agony and feel the other Slytherins watching me.

It would be a horrible experience, but it was probably a lot less bad than having to climb down in the dungeons after dinner and spend a night in the Slytherin common room.

At eight o'clock on the dot, I stepped shyly into the Great Hall. Once again, the room was lit with thousands of candles and all the House flags adorned the ceiling which showed a very clear night sky. All four tables were packed with people. I didn't even dare look at any of them particularly, I just walked by as if I was one of the ghosts and since no one had ever seen me before they might have thought I really was a new ghost.

I stole a glance at the Gryffindor table, where I should have gone and turned sadly away. That table was already filled with laughter. The Ravenclaws were very chatty and immersed in their own thoughts, barely looking at the people around them and the Hufflepuffs seemed moderately quiet, as if no one had much to share with anyone else. They just looked happy to be there.

The teachers' table was full of faces I'd never seen before, with the exception of Professor Flitwick, Professor Dumbledore and Headmaster Dippet himself.

Seeing as I couldn't stall anymore, I dragged my feet to the Slytherin table, but as soon as I reached it, the quiet conversation that had taken place there just a few minutes ago was suddenly interrupted. If I had been relieved before to see nothing distinct about this table, I was slowly becoming very uncomfortable as their intrusive eyes checked me up and down. They looked at me like they were watching a painting in an art gallery and they were trying to find its faults. They were a very united lot. And the suspicious kind that don't take very well to strangers.

One pretty girl was about to say something but she saw my Slytherin robes and closed her mouth.

I didn't look anyone in the eye and sat at the low end of the table.

Shortly afterwards, the doors flew open again and a mass of tiny heads entered the room meekly. They were very shy and didn't want to move from the entrance so the Professor that was guiding them had to push them a little to make them walk up to the teachers' table. Had I been in any other position, this would have seemed endearing and I would have laughed with Ron and Harry, but right now I was being watched by hundreds of inquisitive pairs of eyes.

I could feel their stares pricking my neck, but if I turned just then I'd probably be turned to stone by their presumptuous looks.

Not before long though, someone coughed loudly next to me. The person had apparently moved closer to me.

'Hi there,' a female voice spoke.

Now I couldn't just pretend I hadn't heard that.

'Hi,' I mumbled turning to face her. She was a very pretty girl, with long blonde hair and calm green eyes. She didn't seem to be bad-intentioned.

'Most of us are wondering,' she said in a somewhat crisped voice, 'what you are doing at _our_ table. You have a Slytherin robe but I think we can all attest that none of us have ever seen you before. Are you a new student? One that's been transferred perhaps?'

'Well, yes, it's normal you haven't seen me before. I came to Hogwarts earlier this summer,' I told her, trying to sound nonchalant, but I don't think I was doing such a great job.

'Aha. You don't look like a Beauxbatton girl,' the girl told me, emphasizing the word "you". I felt like she was reprimanding me for something.

'No, I wasn't transferred from any school, I was home-schooled by a magical relative,' I told her simply.

'Home-schooled?' she asked bewildered and she looked back at some other girls who were obviously listening to our conversation. They shared a couple of meaningful smiles and turned to tell the rest of the table. I felt as if I was at this terribly important interview where first impression counted the most.

'Shouldn't you be up there with the First-Years?' she asked.

'No, they evaluated my magical skills and given my age I was placed in Sixth Year.'

'Sixth Year?! You must have some skills. Who was the person that educated you?' she asked, raising a quizzical brow. Behind her, I heard loud whispers and I could swear I heard something along the lines "she must be bluffing". To be frank, I wouldn't really believe myself either.

'My aunt. She was a brilliant witch, but she unfortunately died and I had to continue my education some other way,' I said.

'Died, eh? And where do you come from anyway?'

She didn't even notice she was being rather impolite with her questions, but I didn't mind.

'London,' I lied.

'And you were home-schooled,' she repeated, smirking. 'You never received a Hogwarts letter?'

'My aunt decided I shouldn't go and I didn't...'

'Huh. Interesting life-story. We generally like interesting life-stories, don't we?' she asked the other ones. No one nodded.

'So, how come you're in Slytherin?' she continued. Out of the blue, a very tall, dark-haired boy sat down next to the girl who was questioning me.

'Oh, enough with the boring questions, why not ask her something important Vicky? Like her blood?' he said smiling viciously towards me.

He had some wolfish features that made him look rather handsome, but his eyes were very dull and rather spiteful, like everyone around him had wronged him.

'Well, darling, snake got your tongue?' he asked again.

I breathed in, trying to give myself courage. I was proud of my heritage and I was proud of who I was even if I wasn't really being myself now. I was still Hermione deep down.

'I'm Muggleborn.'

He twitched and looked at the girl called Vicky meaningfully. Her face turned into an obvious frown of disapproval.

'Muggleborn?! You're Muggleborn and you're in Slytherin?' the girl asked reproachfully.

'Well, yes. Is there something wrong about that?' I asked feigning innocence.

'No, of course not darling, you're going to be truly welcome here,' the boy said, smiling sweetly. 'You have no idea how nice and friendly we are with _Mudbloods_.'

Vicky pushed him away disgusted and rearranged her tie.

'He…he didn't mean to say that,' she said, trying to sound apologetic.

'Of course I meant it, don't try to put words in my mouth,' he said grinning. 'Vicky here has something against Mudbloods, but I personally think they are wonderful chaps. I think I met with one in the train, a Hufflepuff by the likes. We had a great time together. The poor bloke isn't here right now unfortunately,' he said scanning the Hufflepuff table. 'He's probably visiting the Infirmary. It's his favourite place after all.'

'Enough!' Vicky said sternly. 'Stop scaring her with your stupid manly attitude. Muggleborn or not, she's still one of us. If you haven't got anything else to say, then bugger off and leave us alone.'

'Oh come on, Vicky! She knows I was joking! Don't you, sweetheart? Everyone will be so pleased to hear the news.'

He got up and said loud enough for everyone to hear.

'Everyone, we have a Mudblood in the house!'

In the midst of all the buzzing and talking at the other tables I didn't notice the still silence that followed this statement but I did notice the freezing stares everyone was throwing me.

'Sit down you stupid oaf!' Vicky chided him and pulled him down.

'Is she really Muggleborn?' a girl in the back shouted.

'Is this some sort of joke?' another one asked.

'Who is she? She can't be a Mudblood!'

Another guy showed up at our spot, but this one was rather bulky and short and had a huge nose that was the size of my head.

'Will, you arse, you totally insulted our guest. How are you doing lovely? Oh she's a bland one. I think she even looks like Mudblood, don't you think?' he said standing very close to me.

'Have you ever heard of personal space?' I asked, turning away angrily.

'Ooooh, mates, did you hear what she said? She said personal space! Hahahaha!'

'Warren, either move off or I hex you in the next seconds,' Vicky said in an icy tone.

'Oh, I'm so scared Victoria. What are you, a Mudblood lover?' he asked laughing.

'No, I'm a Slytherin and as a Slytherin I don't act like a complete pig,' she retorted. 'You both should be ashamed of yourselves. This is not the way to make an impression.'

'I'm sorry Vicky, I didn't know we had to make an impression on Mudbloods,' Will said.

'You don't, I already know your type,' I told him as calmly as possible, but my blood was boiling.

'Kitty's got claws,' Will said amused. 'Well, we'll have a blast tonight in the common room. I'll be expecting you. And to think this year was boring!'

With that he took off and Warren left with him, laughing all the way, but everyone was whispering about me and looking at me like I was a stray dog, so it didn't matter much that those two idiots had left.

'Excuse them, but they can't help themselves. You _are_ a Mudblood,' Vicky said coldly. 'Which means you are low standard, I'm afraid. You probably should have lied.'

'I am proud of who I am,' I said firmly.

'Really? I wouldn't be if I were you. Blood determines many things. You won't have it easy in this house, that's certain,' she said looking back at her mates. 'You shouldn't have been sorted in this house.'

'I can't change that now so I will just have to get used to it.'

'Huh. You are clearly naïve. By the way, I'm Victoria. Trenton Victoria, that is,' she said. 'Oh, well you wouldn't know my name if you're Muggleborn.'

'I'm Jane Greystone,' I replied extending my hand but she didn't take it.

'Don't get too friendly with me. You're lucky I'm not against this sort of thing, but I don't make friends with Muggleborns,' she said pointing at me.

'I see…'

'We can be acquaintances, but that's all I can give. My friends over here are Catherine, Lucille and Bridget,' she said pointing at the girls at her back who were looking at me curiously.

I waved at them, but they immediately started chatting with one another.

'We're the only worthy people you should know. All the other ones are idiots and disgusting pigs,' she said rolling her eyes. 'However, there are some excellent people in this house, they're not_ all_ horribly couth. But you won't really get to know_ those_ people, they don't like to associate with just anyone.'

'I wouldn't like to know _those_ people anyway. You aren't a very polite and amiable lot.'

I was actually surprised that they would go so far with their prejudice and discrimination as to reject a person in the first minutes of their acquaintance.

Victoria looked shocked for a moment before returning to her usual disapproving expression.

'Well, if you think that, there's nothing to be done,' she said stiffly. 'I was just trying to be civil you know.'

'Civil? I'm sorry it didn't sound like that. You act as if you're much superior.'

'I am, unfortunately. You can't change that,' she said, sighing. 'Purebloods are doomed to wear this title.'

'Doomed? What about character, personality, you don't take those into consideration?'

'Most of these things derive from social status, your blood. You might be an interesting person, but we don't really care.'

'What about you? Do you care?'

She looked down at her perfectly trimmed red nails and wrinkled her nose.

'Maybe. But what does it matter? It's not like I am going to be your friend.'

I would have wanted to reply, but Headmaster Dippet rose to speak and I had to remain silent. The whispering continued and it never really ceased. I was the main topic of conversation and I would remain that way for a while.

I was relieved I hadn't seen Tom Riddle. All I wanted to do now was to run off to the Gryffindor common room and be alone, but I wasn't going to get my wish very soon.

In my old house I was treated like a princess compared to the snide remarks and the whispered comments that welcomed me at the Slytherin table. Things like "she doesn't belong here", "What does she think she's doing at our table?", "take off those Slytherin robes, Mudblood" were audible enough. And this was just the first day.

I didn't let the comments affect me. My goal was to get out of there as soon as possible.

The feast took ages, or at least I felt it took eons of years until we could finally retire. By this point, everyone at the Slytherin table with the exception of the First Years knew who I was and _what_ I was.

I was grateful that no one came to ask me any more questions, but I could see they all wanted to. I was an object of interest, like a play thing.

I looked at them leave silently, measuring their steps and pushing past the Hufflepuffs with a sort of elegance that only they were capable of.

'Aren't _you_ coming?' Victoria asked when she saw I was still sitting down.

'Later. One of them will probably do me in if I get too close,' I joked.

'Suit yourself. The later, the worse,' she said and took off with her friends.

I thought I would have to go to the dungeons alone but after the Slytherin table was cleared up I saw someone approaching me from afar. It was a Professor by the looks of it. He was a stodgy, frail-looking man that had a way of walking like he was going to catapult into the air any minute now.

'Miss Greystone, I assume?' he said giving me his hand.

'Yes, Sir,' I said shaking it unsure.

'I'm Professor Slughorn, the Potions master and your new Head of House! I hope the Slytherins weren't too impolite, they tend to be wary of new people,' he said genially, a broad grin on his face.

Impolite? More like downright hostile.

'Welcome to Hogwarts dear. I heard all about you, Professor Dumbledore let me in on some details,' he said winking at me. 'I heard you got some top grades at that testing. I look forward to seeing your performance in Potions.'

'Oh, I don't know if…' I started, but he waved his hand.

'But you must be very tired right now and you probably need to find the Slytherin common room, so I will take you to it right away.'

* * *

'Everyone, I'd like to call your attention please.'

To say I was mortified was an understatement. I had known this man for five minutes and I was already beginning to develop a certain kind of grudge towards him.

The fact that the Slytherin common room looked bereft of any warmth and sported only the depressing colours of black and silver did not improve my mood.

'This is our new student, Miss Jane Greystone. She has been sorted into Slytherin and she will be joining you from now on as a Sixth Year. I wouldn't want to spoil this for Jane, so she will give you more details about herself. I'm sure you will make her feel our house is a paradigm of dignity and good breadth. I'll leave you now Jane, but I will see you tomorrow in class. Now everyone get ready for bed, don't dawdle! And please try not to scare those First Years.'

With that he nodded towards me and left the room, humming a song to himself.

I was left in the middle of the room surrounded by a bunch of belligerent Slytherins that seemed to be looking for the right reason to bite my head off.

From the crowd, I saw a familiar face.

'Come on, give the girl some room. Let's show her we have _some _manners. Welcome to our family, Mudblood,' Will said pulling me to him as he pushed me through the crowd.

'We should give you the tour of the common room, shouldn't we?' he asked.

'I think I can figure it out on my own,' I said backing away but I was stopped by a sofa.

'Nonsense! Mudbloods are known for bad sense of direction.'

'Leave me alone already,' I retorted. 'I just want to go upstairs.'

'And who do you think you are to be talking to a Nott that way?' a voice rang in my ears and when I turned I saw a tall, handsome, blond man, looking down at me with a pair of sharp blue eyes.

'And you are?' I asked.

'It's Malfoy to you,' he said roughly. 'And you'll learn your manners when you speak to us.'

'I'll be _mannered_ when you are,' I replied.

'I think we're showing enough clemency. You might want to reconsider your situation.'

'This is ridiculous, I just want to get to bed,' I said pushing past them, but Nott caught my hand. I struggled against his grip but he just tightened it.

'Let me go.'

'And if I don't?' Nott asked grinning.

He wasn't fast enough and my wand was already pointing at his chest.

'So you're going to hex me! I'd like to see you try that.'

He was right; he was surrounded by five boys that looked quite menacing.

'Would you just stop? This is boring,' a girl spoke.

She was a brunette with long legs and a very red mouth. She smirked and pulled Nott away.

'She's not worth it. Can't you see she's shaking with fear?'

'I am not,' I answered coldly.

'Oh yes you are. You are a no one, coming from nowhere and you are on our territory. So you'd better calm down,' she said chuckling.

'Trust Goyle to be the pacifier,' Nott said, putting his hand lazily over her shoulder.

Goyle?? I couldn't believe this slender girl had anything to do with the obese, insolent boy I knew.

'Take your hands off my sister, Nott!' a voice shouted and when I looked in the back I saw a giant plump boy who had a very lost expression on his face. This looked more like a Goyle indeed.

'Lower your wand Mudblood,' Nott said coldly.

'Not unless you drop the adjective,' I replied. I was being stupidly brave, I know, but it was mad bravery.

'Drop the adjective?! You've got some nerve.'

'Put your wand down,' a voice from the crowd spoke. It was a vibrant, velvety voice that I felt I knew, but it had such a strange calming effect on me that I was almost tempted to follow the order.

The crowd dispersed around the common room and a young man came towards me. His eyes were grey and empty, but had a certain spark to them that drew you in without you wanting to. His long, white fingers played with his wand in a menacing way. He was good-looking, but his small smile looked so unusual on his face that it almost seemed contorted. Smiling didn't become him.

I saw how Nott, Malfoy and all the others drew back instinctively. Only the Goyle sister stood her ground, putting on a dopey smile and watching him from under her lashes.

'You'd better listen to him,' Malfoy told me.

And then I knew this was Tom Riddle.

I lowered my wand but I didn't exactly put it down.

Faster than the blink of an eye, I felt my wand snatched from my fingers. It flew into his hand.

I almost gasped. I hadn't seen him using his wand.

'Interesting,' he said fingering my wand.

'How did you do that?' I asked bewildered.

'Oh that little trick? Quite easy,' he replied, showing me that cruel, shuddering smile again.

'Give it back,' I said opening my hand.

He chuckled and kept playing with it. I almost felt pain for it.

'I hear everyone is talking about you. Why is that, I wonder?'

'Please, give it back,' I insisted.

'I rather like it. I think I'll keep it,' he said.

'You already have one,' I said and in my immense stupidity I tried snatching it away.

The Goyle sister started laughing and Nott joined her, sniggering in my general direction.

'I need my wand,' I said sternly, looking at Riddle straight in the eye. I could actually see my courage floating away from me.

'And what will you do for it?' he said stepping closer to me. His tall figure hovered over mine.

'This is ridiculous,' I said, trying to grab it again, but he just made it fly from hand to hand.

'Beg for it,' he said, revealing his teeth in a grin.

I looked at him incredulously as he expected me to plead for _my_ wand. I folded my hands and shook my head.

'I will do no such things.'

'Beg for it on your knees,' his rasp voice repeated and he pointed his wand at me.

I felt a powerful force pulling me down, like I was the falling apple that would hit the ground. I couldn't help it. I tried fighting it, but I only felt heavier and heavier.

Nott and Goyle were still laughing rather raucously.

'Silence,' he told them. 'I want to hear her beg.'

When they heard him they both went as silent as a mouse.

Malfoy threw them a scowling look as if they had broken some unspoken rule and nodded his head in approval of the plan.

'Let's hear her beg,' he said.

The few people that had remained in the common room were quickly retiring to their dormitories. The light was poor and all the shades in the room looked double their size which did give the room an impressive effect. Every now and then, a dab of silver on the walls and on the mantelpiece reminded me I wasn't dreaming.

'Stop it,' I said, raising my hands and clutching his robe. He stepped back and laughed. It was a very light laugh, like a pealing of bells in winter. But it just made the scene more sinister.

I was sweating, trying not to fall on my knees but they were buckling and it was imminent that I would lose. I fell on my knees with a large thud.

I was red with anger. I couldn't see before my eyes, I was blinded by anger.

'Now, beg. I'd like to hear you beg.'

'I won't.'

'I didn't catch that.'

'I said I won't.'

'What did you say again?' he asked pointing his wand at me.

A stabbing pain in my chest prevented me from speaking. I felt a sharp dagger trying to cut my skin and penetrate my lungs and it gave me the sensation that I wouldn't be able to breathe soon. I shook my head and closed my mouth shut, but it seemed my mouth had other plans. It opened like it was about to scream.

'Speak up,' he ordered and I felt my vocal chords burn.

'I…b-beg of you…' I said, the words barely escaping my mouth.

'One more time so everyone can hear,' he said cheerfully.

'I beg of you,' I repeated. I was coughing and trying to breathe. My throat was scorched and I needed water desperately. My cheeks were on fire. I was too ashamed to look up in his defiant eyes. I just stood there helplessly.

He finally released me from the spell and I could move. I tried getting up but I almost fell down again. After two attempts I managed to be stable again.

My hands were trembling from the rage I was feeling. I only wanted to hurt him back. I didn't care for a moment about what would happen.

With all my strength, I reached out and scratched his left wrist. The Goyle sister gasped and made an incredulous face.

A small red scar appeared on Riddle's wrist. I felt some satisfaction in having inflicted it. I couldn't do anything more because I was very weak.

Small droplets of blood appeared on his hands. The girl started wailing like a banshee and tried touching his shoulder but he didn't let her.

Nott burst into a fit of anger and wrenched my hands in a vice grip.

'You dare harm _him?_ You stupid little wench!'

'Let her go,' Riddle's voice rang in the almost empty room.

'But she had the nerve to…'

'I said let her go. I wouldn't want to get upset.'

He threw me a wrathful look and pushed me away like I was dirt. Right about now I was feeling a bit like the soot in the fireplace.

But I had to keep my dignity and stand tall in front of him.

'You're a bit brave aren't you?' Riddle asked amused as he looked at his scar with utter fascination.

'I don't see my own blood very often,' he said. 'It's a lovely sight.'

'It's a disgusting sight. I want my wand back,' I said breathing hard.

He came closer to me, until he was some meters away, but I didn't flinch or move away.

He lowered towards my face and whispered in my ear.

'Now that you saw my blood, you have to show me yours.'

'What if I don't want to show it?' I said, trembling from head to toe.

'I wouldn't want to break your pretty neck,' he said making a swishing move with his fingers over the skin of my neck and I felt a soft pang of pain and something warm trickle down my collarbone.

When he stepped away from me, I put my hand to my neck and drew blood.

I would have yelled but his stare stopped me.

'There, now it's much better,' Riddle said. 'I can always recognize you this way.'

I touched the scar and it was in the shape of a cross.

His wandless magic was by far the most frightening thing about him.

Suddenly, a young man rose from a seat by the fireplace. He had been hidden very well by the shadows. I had no idea he had been sitting there all along. To think he had witnessed all this and had said nothing.

'I think she needs to go,' he said pointing at me. 'It's very late.'

He looked warily at Riddle who considered staying more but ultimately decided against it.

'You are right, Black,' he told him, while staring at the scar he had left on my neck.

Without another word he turned around and left with the young man.

I saw my wand glinting in the glare of the fire on the floor.

I didn't dare pick it up until everyone left the common room. They all pushed past me disappointed. They had probably expected a more gruesome show.

When I finally found the courage to climb up to the girls' dormitory I was thankful to see most girls were asleep. Those who weren't eyed me with suspicion and drew their covers over their bodies.

I looked for my bed and finally found it at the end of a long row.

I dropped on it and started crying silently. I had never been this ashamed or felt this mistreated. I knew other people had suffered much worse at his hand, but for me, this meeting had been the most dreadful in my life.

Later that night I went to the bathrooms to take a shower and I rinsed the scar on my neck with hot water, hoping it would vanish soon.

Little did I know, it would never vanish.

* * *

_Any good? Please tell me what you think. Thanks for reading:)_


	3. Tingling skin

_**I'd like to thank everyone for the kind reviews and support, you're all amazing! Also, thanks to the anonmyous reviewer Elspethe for the review (Hermione will buck up pretty soon:) ) and to all readers who spare some of their time reading this little piece. Please enjoy the new chapter. **_

_When men on the chessboard_  
_ Get up and tell you where to go_  
_ And you've just had some kind of mushroom_  
_ And your mind is moving slow_  
_ Go ask Alice_  
_ I think she'll know_

Jefferson Airplane-White Rabbit_  
_

Chapter 3: Tingling skin 

I woke up at five in the morning. I thought I wouldn't sleep well, but it turns out I slept like a baby. I didn't have any dreams, but my vision was blocked by a coat of green. I remembered that the curtains around my bed were green. I touched them. They were very soft and they smelt like mint.

My face was soaked with dry tears, but I didn't have a mirror to see what state my face was in. I turned on the other side of my bed and I saw my small trunk.

I had bought some clothes earlier in summer. The best part about the period I was in was the fashion. Those dresses and skirts were absolutely gorgeous. I had bought two beautiful scarves that hung limply over the lid. A pair of black shoes glowed from under the bed. I'd wear those on special occasions. It was ridiculous, but I thought about special occasions. I treated my life here seriously. I treated this other Hermione like an independent entity, far more interesting than just average me.

My Slytherin uniform was sprawled over a tiny stool at the foot of my bed. I looked at it with a mixture of pain and interest.

I looked up, hoping to see sunshine, but above my bed was a tiny crevice that looked like a window. The only thing I could see through it was dark water. From time to time a small sea creature would swim by and peek inside.

I had to figure out a plan. I couldn't just revolt against their treatment and act like Che Guevara. I couldn't try and change their opinion, well I couldn't change _all _the opinions, that was for sure.

Eat or be eaten was the policy in this house, but I didn't want to eat, so I just had to make myself inedible.

By now, I had figured out that if I wanted to go back home and see my family and friends again I would first have to survive the Slytherins.

I'd use my own weapons in order to live under the same roof peacefully. They would never like me, but maybe some would come to accept me. I wasn't seeking approval, but it wouldn't have hurt if I didn't have many enemies. Or at least I think some were becoming my enemies. I had hurt Tom Riddle, after all.

If Harry could've seen that moment, he would've been proud of me, very proud in fact. I had never believed I could stand so close to Lord Voldemort and actually make him bleed. But I liked seeing him a little bit vulnerable. One would think he couldn't bleed, but he could and his blood looked exactly like mine.

I suspected he was upset with me. I think he hadn't been so pleased with my gesture, but that's an understatement. I just prayed to all the Gods I knew that he wasn't out to get me, but what were the odds on that?

From the first night, I did something that probably sealed his attitude towards me.

He seemed ready to do anything to achieve his goals, I saw that in his eyes. He seemed like a merciless person; the way he had treated me showed that. And he was obeyed by his followers. I wasn't sure whether Black was under his command, because I felt that Riddle had actually listened to him the other night, than the other way around.

Either way, this was a deranged young man that seemed doomed from the start. I had thought he wouldn't be so malignant in his youth, but I guess these Dark Wizards were evil all the way through.

He looked handsome and fragile, but that was just the layer of things because underneath he was odious and very strong.

Well, even though he was stronger than me, I wouldn't ever kneel in front of him again.

* * *

I skipped breakfast that morning because I wasn't ready to start the impolite comments and stares all over again and I didn't have a yearning to see anyone there.

My first class was Potions and I was a little bit glad that I knew the teacher and that he was a silly but generally inoffensive man. Something less to worry about.

When I got to the dungeons again, there was a huge crowd in front of the Potions class. I couldn't escape the stares and nasty retorts now, I told myself, but lo and behold, as I approached the queue I noticed that but for five or six people, everyone was ignoring me and minding their own business. This seemed a bit too good to be true. The eerie silence was that one peaceful moment before the storm, I thought.

I saw the Gryffindors standing at the other end of the hallway and I felt this painful urge to go join them, but I had to stay with my own house.

This treatment made me nervous. Sure they weren't being aggressive but it didn't mean that all conflict had ended. Maybe the big conflict had just begun. It was boiling and ready to burst.

Victoria was looking at me with worry, but when I met her eyes she turned away fast.

I quickly understood that the people who were paying me attention were Nott, Malfoy, Black, Goyle, his sister and another two boys I didn't know by name and I supposed these were Riddle's close friends. Perhaps friends was stretching it a bit, they were more like followers.

And wasn't that how the entire Death Eaters affair had started?

I was very thankful when we were finally let in, because I was starting to freeze there under their ominous stares.

When we entered the classroom, I noticed that someone was talking to professor Slughorn. It was Tom Riddle. They were both smiling and Slughorn kept his arm on Riddle's shoulder.

I didn't want to find out what that was all about. I just wanted to find a safe place to sit. All places were occupied with the exception of one spot next to Goyle.

The bulky, pig-faced boy signaled me to come over and patted the seat like I was a dish he was going to enjoy.

'Sit here, sweetpie, I'm not particularly hungry today,' he said panting as he settled his books on the desk.

I nodded reluctantly and sat as further from him as possible. I dug into my Potions book until the class started so I wouldn't have to make polite conversation, or any conversation for that matter.

'So, sweetpie, what're you reading?'

'The textbook,' I muttered, not looking at him.

'I'd be a little bit more careful, if I were you,' he whispered.

'And why is that?'

'Well, I'd reckon you should look around you just in case something hits you.'

'Something hits me?' I asked, looking up.

'Well, you never know who might hurt you,' he said innocently as he bit his nails.

'Thanks for the input, but I think I can handle it,' I said, albeit I think my voice trembled a bit.

'He's a bit upset, you know.'

'And who might he be?'

He didn't reply, he just stared at me like I was daft or something and continued biting his nails.

'If you're referring to Riddle,' I started, but he put his finger to his mouth.

'Keep your voice down woman! Don't talk so lightly around him. Don't you know he's watching you?'

I looked around the classroom until I found his seat in the front, but he was sitting with his back to me.

'It doesn't seem so,' I replied.

'The key word being "seem",' he underlined.

'Look, this guy can't possibly have eyes at the back of his head. He can already perform wandless magic, is he some sort of universal genius?' I asked frustrated.

He looked befuddled for a moment.

'Oh, sweatpie, those aren't innate talents, you acquire them! Have you never heard of Dark Magic?'

'I have…'

'Then you should know he's an expert in that. That's why his abilities are so varied. Nothing as extraordinary as you imagine.'

'Why are you telling me all this?' I insisted.

Goyle shuffled his feet uncomfortable.

'He told me to.'

A hazy veil fell over my mind. I could not possibly get my thoughts around this. Tom Riddle had instructed Goyle to tell me all this? What was the purpose behind this?

'We should get to work,' he said, pointing at Slughorn who was talking. I hadn't even noticed.

'I'm sad to see that some of us aren't here anymore. I was hoping that all of you would eventually pass the OWLs because the tests are quite standard and all my students were ready…well, I was hoping to see you all in my class, but it seems we have a small number of youths left. However, we must turn this to our advantage. We're the best and we will work the hardest!'

I thought this man's cheery attitude worked better with Gryffindors or Hufflepuffs but every Slytherin in the room seemed to be taking him seriously and I wondered how this man had won their respect.

I didn't have much time to dwell on that. We were given the assignment which was an interesting potion I had read about.

I soon discovered why Goyle was always alone and didn't have a partner. It wasn't that he wasn't trying to do his share of the work. It was that he was terrible at it. Simply terrible. And as much as I tried to improve his methods, I met with failure.

He was clumsy and impatient and when I told him to be calm he just got more irritated, so I decided to let him simmer down and continue my work mostly alone. I made him do routine work that didn't involve much thinking.

He was helpful in that department, at least. He did the tedious tasks, I did the ones that required some thinking. I know it wasn't fair, but it was the only system that worked.

At the end of the class, our potion wasn't the best, but it was quite good.

Professor Slughorn inspected it for some time before giving us an A. I heard someone sneer in the back:

'Poor Goyle! He got this grade because of the Mudblood! She can't think, can she?'

But Slughorn probably knew Goyle's real abilities because he told me I had some potential in this field.

'Perhaps your partner is not the most suitable,' he said winking.

When I left the class, feeling a bit weak from hunger, I discovered that someone had dropped a note in my bag.

I opened it.

_You forgot to cover your scar. _

My eyes widened as I quickly touched the cross on my neck. It was true! In my haste and anxiety I had forgotten to cover it in the morning. I could have used a simple charm, but I had ignored it.

I cursed myself internally for having omitted doing that.

I had no idea who had sent the note, but I was beginning to have a hunch.

My suspicions were confirmed when, in Herbology I unfortunately sat in the proximity of Tom Riddle and I managed to see his hand writing.

He had sent the note and he hadn't bothered hiding that.

But how could he have seen I hadn't covered the scar?

It was almost hidden by my white shirt, not to mention my robes. And even if it had been visible, he had not once turned in my direction. I had looked out for that.

This indirect influence he had on my actions scared me very much. He didn't fight with normal weapons, he caught me by surprise.

He didn't show his feelings through meaningless gestures. He did some very unusual things.

Just who was this boy? And how much had he delved into Dark Magic?

Throughout the day, I looked out for any other signs from him, but nothing out of the ordinary caught my attention, except the continuous silence treatment that the Slytherins were giving me.

At lunch, everyone expressed their disapproval in their eyes. But no one bothered me per se. I know they were itching to do that.

I saw Nott and Goyle's sister sniggering and looking at me from time to time, but beyond that, I might have never existed in the first place, the way they were treating me.

In the evening, however, something happened. One of the Slytherins showed mercy to me.

I was sitting on my bed, looking through my textbooks when I saw a hand part my green curtains.

It was Victoria.

She walked to me and sat on the bed stiffly.

'Victoria,' I said matter-of-factly. 'What are you doing here?'

She kept straightening her plaid dress and looking around, expecting something to pop up from under my bed.

'That's your trunk?' she asked.

'Yes.'

She opened it and browsed through it with some interest.

'This yellow dress clashes with your eyes, you know. And you're petite. It won't work to have these large, baggy things,' she said looking through my clothes.

'Um, right, thanks for the advice,' I said feeling uncomfortable.

'I like this blue one though. The floral pattern is pretty. I love patterns. I have a personal seamstress that does wonders with a needle,' she said flatly.

'I bet she does.'

'You don't know her,' she said surprised.

'It was just a figure of speech,' I explained lamely.

'Huh. You're odd, you know that?'

'No, I'm pretty normal.'

'Right. Because normal people go around doing the things you do.'

'You don't really know me,' I insisted.

'True. But you did some thoughtless things, you know.'

'Why did you come here?' I asked, slightly irritated. 'Did _he_ put you up to it?'

'What are you talking about?'

'Goyle told me some things…forget about it,' I said shaking my head.

'Look, I don't know what you think of me, but I came here because…I wanted to tell you to be careful.'

'Oh. I've heard that today…'

'Because,' she continued, 'you're not seen with good eyes here.'

'You think?!'

'And not just because of what you _are_. No one approves of what you've _done_. You harmed Tom Riddle.'

'He harmed me first! I just responded.'

'He didn't harm you. If you had just done what he told you to, none of this would have happened,' Victoria protested like it was the most common thing in the world.

'Done what he told me to? Why should I do that? Why should I humiliate myself?'

'If you know what is good for you. If you want to be reckless, go ahead, be bold, but it won't get you far. You have to understand some are stronger than you.'

'And that makes it necessary to obey? We're Slytherins. We don't exactly obey,' I said, in a spur of loyalty to this house.

'Yes, that is true. We don't have to obey anyone else, but we do obey the inner hierarchy. Think of it as a nomenclature.'

'Big words, but small ideas,' I countered. 'One can't live like that. One is bereaved of one's freedom.'

She chuckled.

'No one can take your inner freedom,' she said smiling.

I opened my mouth to say something, then I shut it because I understood her. But I couldn't smile back.

'Just keep one thing in mind: he doesn't forget easily. And he never really forgives,' she said seriously.

'That doesn't scare me,' I lied.

She got up and straightened her skirt again before leaving.

'Oh, I wasn't here, you didn't see me, I didn't talk to you,' she said, her voice a notch softer and she disappeared behind the green curtains.

* * *

Two days later, I found out that Professor Slughorn had changed my partner, like he had promised to.

I knew that whoever it was, they couldn't be worse than Goyle when it came to Potions.

As usual, I was wrong, because I was made to sit in front with Tom Riddle.

'I know this is a big step and between you and me I wasn't quite sure whether to put you up with my favourite student, but he insisted it was the best choice because, well dearie, you know that some Slytherins can be biased about certain aspects of blood, but Tom here can understand that issue and won't bother you about it,' Slughorn said winking at me.

Riddle was listening to all this with a perfectly blank face, like he was hearing the weather forecast.

I could feel a strange electricity in the air. He was sitting some feet away from me and he was acting perfectly normal, taking out his parchment, his quill, arranging the utensils on the desk, but there were these invisible strings he had cast over me, because I felt my energy and vigour were disappearing, as he sucked them out of me like it was pumpkin juice. I saw my spirit fly towards him, like he was a Dementor.

I shook my head. This boy wasn't invincible and he wasn't such a powerful wizard. He was just skilled at Dark Magic. That was all.

I didn't have to be afraid, I didn't have to look down throughout the entire class.

His fingers were very long and he touched every object like it was made of air. The only thing he truly gripped was his wand.

I started working mechanically next to him. It was hard not to look at him, because we had to work together, but I managed to blindly give him the ingredients without staring directly at him.

To my annoyance, he was better than me at Potions, but not by far.

'Why would you admit who you are if you have nothing to gain from that?' he suddenly broke the tensed silence.

I almost dropped the small bowl I used for mixing powder.

I refused to answer.

'I asked you a question,' he insisted in a polite tone.

I still refused to answer.

He couldn't do anything to me right in front of the teacher, could he? I had that small satisfaction.

Suddenly, I felt this small, fluttering touch on my skin. It was almost like a butterfly's wings caressing me, but it was so very pleasant. I almost sighed and relaxed my shoulders.

I wanted to lie down and enjoy the touch, but I kept working mechanically.

I noticed Tom was sitting down. Even though I was standing we were at the same height.

Something caught my eye. I saw he was holding his wand and then I noticed he was tracing it up my waist.

I shrieked but nothing came out.

No one heard me because everyone continued working. I was the only one who heard my yell. It was as if I was alone.

I couldn't move either. I wasn't paralyzed, I just didn't have the strength. His presence was overwhelming.

His wand started going up my waist, circling over my stomach until I felt I was going to laugh, then up to my chest where my heart raced like fire and I felt as if he was clutching my heart, squeezing it of blood and feelings. The pleasant flutter was still there and it was maddening. It was as if the layer of clothing wasn't even there.

The wand worked its way up to my collarbone and reached the cross scar. When the wand touched it, I felt something come out of my chest and the following moment I turned to him, sat down and started talking.

'I admitted I was Muggleborn because I'm proud of who I am and I wanted to show people I didn't care about blood, but I do. I want to be acknowledged and I like putting myself in a position of inferiority so I can show afterwards that I am stronger than anybody else. I relish in that glorious feeling. Also, the name Greystone is muggle and everyone would know that. My real reasons weren't noble. They were partly self-indulgent, partly necessary.'

Riddle's smirk spread in a sinister manner all over his face. He nodded.

'I think we have a few things in common,' he said lazily.

His wand was still playing around my neck.

'But I can make you do what I want. Can you do that?'

He touched the cross scar again with his wand.

'No,' I began, 'I can only watch and obey.'

He nodded pleased, but something in my throat urged me to talk more.

'But…I'd like that.'

'You'd like what?' he asked, almost grinning.

I tried to stop the words from coming out, but it was like a very powerful Veritas potion.

'I'd like to make you do what I want.'

He placed his hand under his chin pensively.

His wand reached down my collarbone and undid one of the buttons of my shirt.

'What do you want me to do?'

The fluttering touch was very pleasant.

'The…t-touch,' I mumbled, choking up on my words.

'What touch?' he asked innocently, his eyes almost sparkling.

'That thing you do!' I almost shrieked.

'You must have me confused,' he answered and licked his lips.

I blinked surprised and I saw I had my back turned to him and my hands were full of powder as I had sunk them directly in the bowl.

I dared to glance his way, but he was working diligently.

Had it all been a horrible nightmare? Had it all been my twisted imagination?

But the small smile at the corner of his mouth and the sensation of tingling skin told me otherwise.

When the bell rang, I ran out of the classroom and I didn't stop until I was far away from him. I went into a bathroom and splashed water over my face and my neck. I wanted to wash away the tingling and I wanted to burn my clothes.

I had said and done all those awful things! I felt so ashamed, so very hadn't been me, but it had been. It had been the rawest side of me.

So that was his power over people. It was much more horrid than any torture curse. It was the most pleasant and destructive torture.


	4. The Vicious Kind

_**Wow, I've never received so many reviews for just three chapters, thanks a bunch to everyone! Your support fuels my work, as you know. I'd like to thank anonymous reviewers Bre (I did sort of ignore one of the necessary life functions since I'm so very sleepy right now:) ), Katrina and QueenReeBee for the very kind reviews. Thanks to all for reading and reviewing, you made my day:) Well, I'm not really sure about this chapter, probably because I'm dead tired. I hope I didn't make a mess of it. Please tell me what you think and enjoy! **_

* * *

_If you ever get close to a human_  
_ And human behaviour_  
_ Be ready, be ready to get confused_

_ There's definitely, definitely, definitely no logic_  
_ To human behaviour_  
_ But yet so, yet so irresistible_

Bjork-Human Behaviour

_*  
_

Chapter 4: The Vicious Kind

After that day, I tried my best never to find myself alone with Tom Riddle. I understood he could get me whether I was prepared or not, because not only was he a skilled wizard, but he was well-acquainted with the Dark Arts. I had no chance against him if I could only rely on my standard magic.

At night, I sometimes thought I would like to hurt him and watch him suffer. I was here, wasn't I? I was in a strange time, in a strange world and I could do almost anything. And I didn't have to worry about conscience, because this was Voldemort. Everyone was entitled to kill him without remorse.

And yes, I thought of those things too…

I thought that I had the chance to prevent all those deaths and all the suffering, bring Harry's parents back to life, if only I could do him in.

Of course, these were just thoughts, because in reality, I had no idea if I could ever do that. Notwithstanding his horrendous character, I couldn't just kill young Tom Riddle. He wasn't innocent, he wasn't better, he was just alive. Voldemort seemed dead to me already. I didn't think one could kill Voldemort. He had already killed himself.

But Tom was alive and his eyes showed that intensely.

So I couldn't stick the wand in his throat and say those two little words, could I?

Maybe not now…

I didn't want to dream about him or think about him more than I had to, but sometimes I did feel the touch of his wand on my skin. It happened mostly when I felt he was close to me in class, but I didn't turn my head to look. I just knew he was there.

And I ignored the touch as best as I could, since it would disappear eventually, I thought to myself.

A week and a half had passed and I got used to the stares. I didn't get used to the whispered insults and other comments that just slipped by. When I say slipped by, I meant that not many people really attacked me directly. They rarely said something out loud, but when they did, it was painful, I had to admit.

I think I began to understand how this worked. Since I had harmed Tom Riddle, people had understood that he was the one who was going to punish me and they shouldn't interfere. Except his team of partisans.

They were allowed to show their disapproval physically, from what I could gather.

The Goyle girl always made sure to bump into me and hurt my shoulder hard whenever we had to cross paths in the dormitory.

One of the other boys that I found out was actually Avery liked to push my books out of my hands.

Another one called Rosier had the talent of spilling things on me, including personal liquids. He was not a very clean fellow.

Malfoy himself had stuck a note in my hair one time that said "Mudblood on the loose". He had also made me trip a couple of times.

All these small things I could ignore, but they did annoy me to some extent and I was just waiting for the right moment to explode and hex them. But I was waiting, because these were small things after all.

Perhaps bigger things were in store for me.

I couldn't understand how a person could keep such a grudge. For me, having scratched him like that didn't mean a big thing, but for him, it meant that I had defeated him in some way, or, actually, prevented him from having full victory.

He was one of those persons who just didn't give up until they had things their way and he could probably step over many principles to achieve that. Not that he had any principles.

One of the first things that I learned was that no one really liked him, except his small fan club. I wasn't so sure about them either.

No one liked him in the sense that he wasn't popular with the Slytherins and no one was really nice with him. They just showed a very profound respect towards him and when I say profound, I mean in a very obsequious way. But the general feeling was that of fear. They certainly didn't listen to him because he was a handsome, charming young man. They listened because he was a very frightening young man.

In fact, I think I was less afraid than some people. I foolishly felt I had some power over things since I knew the future, but who could say what the future was anymore? I certainly hadn't planned on coming here. I hadn't planned on staying either. I didn't believe in fate, I didn't believe in Providence or in universal laws. I didn't believe in cause and effect.

I had to believe I was still sane and that I would get to see my family and friends soon. Hope was most of my belief and I was quickly starting to doubt my disbeliefs.

* * *

I wouldn't call her a ray of sunshine, but Victoria was some comfort to me. Sure she wasn't very polite or very sympathetic, but she did talk to me and she came by my bed from time to time, which meant a lot to me.

She gave me strength to get up in the morning.

I was usually surrounded by friends, so the space between me and other people affected me. But she was the only girl I really liked. I didn't want to befriend anyone else.

Of course, I wasn't really her friend, but for some reason, she was drawn to me, or rather, she found me interesting and I discovered she was a very curious person that liked strange things. Perhaps that's why she wasn't against me.

She almost never talked about herself and the most I could find out was that she had a half-brother called Richard that played in a Quidditch team but I forgot which one.

She, however, asked me dozens of questions about myself. She was worse than Dumbledore. She never noticed I sometimes hesitated. She just thought I was shy.

She didn't like to talk about our classmates, she only mentioned her close friends, but she did sometimes allude to Black. She seemed to admire him a great deal.

'Why does he follow Riddle around though?' I asked during one of our conversations.

I thought she wouldn't answer me, but she thought for a moment or two, then she looked at me gravely and spoke.

'Why wouldn't he? Well, Riddle is powerful. He has his interests.'

She knew I wasn't convinced and for some reason, she didn't like it when people thought wrong things of Black. She probably thought I would consider him a second Malfoy and I actually saw her shudder at the image.

She coughed loudly and sat closer to me.

When she spoke again her voice was barely audible.

'If you must know, he doesn't have much of a choice. He…well, you see, he saw some things he shouldn't have seen.'

I drew my legs to my chin and waited for her to continue.

'Listen Greystone, you shouldn't know this. You really shouldn't.'

'What shouldn't I know?'

'Things that happened last year. You weren't here and it was very well you weren't. In fact, I think you're really lucky. Only imagine…Yes, you're really lucky,' she said nodding.

'Victoria, tell me.'

'You didn't even see the articles in the newspaper? The Chamber of Secrets…' she barely whispered.

Of course I knew. Of course I knew everything about it. I felt blinding tears in my eyes at the memory, but I blinked them back and I tried to hold my breath. Clearly I wasn't doing a good job.

Victoria frowned and placed a hand on my shoulder.

'Are you alright? You don't look fine…'

'I'm okay, I just…I think I heard about it,' I said shaking my head.

Now I understood why Victoria said I had been lucky. I was a Muggleborn, therefore anything could have happened.

But something had already happened. She didn't know it, but I had been one of the victims. I had seen those yellow eyes and I fell in a long slumber. She just didn't know it.

I also knew who had opened the Chamber of Secrets.

'So you heard then it was opened,' Victoria continued. 'People said only the Slytherin heir could open it, but Headmaster Dippet tried to disperse this rumour. We all believed it, though. And then that girl died.'

Victoria looked shaken herself. The memory wasn't doing her good.

'A girl died…' I whispered. Moaning Myrtle. She was so young and she wore glasses, I thought to myself daftly.

'Yes. Muggleborn. So…you're very lucky. She was a Mudblood. And that…that thing haunted only Mudbloods. We all thought it was some kind of monster.'

'How did he kill her?' I asked, already knowing the answer.

'It happened in the second-floor bathroom. No one knows exactly how, but many say she saw the monster. She was found dead. I don't think anyone goes in that bathroom anymore.'

Behind her monotonous speech I could see she was holding back some feelings. Her face had darkened considerably.

'Victoria, who opened the Chamber?' Did she know? Did she actually know?

Her small hands started trembling as she unclenched her fists. Her nails dug into my mattress.

'Who do you think?' she asked, looking down.

I went to her side and hugged her awkwardly.

'Victoria, if you know, it means others know too. The Headmaster needs to find out. _He_ has to be taken away. We can't just let him walk freely after this. We just can't and you know that.'

She jerked away from me and glared at me.

'Are you mad? Only the Slytherins know. Who would believe this? Who would? He has killed, he could do it again…' she said, her voice trembling. 'Are you_ that_ mad?'

'But Victoria…'

'I know it was him because of Black. But I can't do anything about it and no one should. Yes, it angered me, yes, it made me very sad, yes, it kept me awake at night, but I won't do anything stupid! We should just get on with our lives and pray we get away from this place in one piece,' she said agitated.

'What about that dead girl?'

'What about her?' she countered.

'What about Black?' I asked exasperated.

Her face contorted and for a moment I thought she was going to cry, but she just winced, as if something had bitten her.

'He…he can take care of himself.'

'What did he see exactly?' I asked.

She sighed and pulled two forgotten hair strings out of her face.

'Enough to be in danger. But for some reason, _he_ didn't do anything to him. Instead, Black turned faithful to him.'

'He kept him by his side for some reason,' I said frightened. 'It's worse this way, because he doesn't know what to expect. He's still in danger, Victoria.'

'I know that_ Jane_, okay?' she snapped. 'You don't have to tell me that.'

'I'm sorry,' I said after some moments.

'What for?'

'For making you tell me this.'

* * *

The following Monday, I walked into the second-floor bathroom. I knew it would be deserted. I wasn't afraid, because I thought nothing could harm me. I had worked here many hours on my Polyjuice potion. I had had many conversations with Harry and Ron here. This bathroom held for me some bad, but also some pleasant memories so I didn't know how to feel when I stepped inside.

I was expecting to see Moaning Myrtle. I shyly called out her name, but she didn't appear. I even checked the stalls.

Everything felt frozen there, like time had stopped and this one room held the secret of immortality. But it wasn't like that, because immortality had nothing to do here. Someone had died here and there was nothing this room could do to make it more obvious.

The sinister sinks were there and the mirrors and one of the mirrors was half-broken.

I moved towards them, expecting to see my reflection, but I saw nothing. I couldn't see myself no matter how hard I looked.

I touched the half-broken mirror, but I didn't see a finger touching back.

Then I saw it; the little snake Harry had told me about, the small, hateful, barely visible snake.

Don't touch it, I thought to myself, but I did, because I just had to feel its touch.

I expected to touch something very cold, but instead my hand almost flew back since it was as warm as my skin.

Something pulsed through me, something that almost made me giggle, it was a breeze that flew through my hair.

I realized after some moments that it was my scar.

I knew I had to take my hand away, but the strange connection between that small snake and my scar kept me glued to the sink. It was the most fascinating thing, it was like a mother feeling the child in the womb.

'What are you doing here?'

The voice pulled me away from the snake and when I turned I saw Black staring at me from the entrance.

'You…' I stammered. 'I was just trying to look in the mirror…'

'They're broken,' he said flatly. 'Try another bathroom.'

I saw his eyes were looking at the sink, not at me.

'I'm sorry then, I didn't know…' I said trying to walk past him but he was in my way.

His face cringed slightly as he looked down at me.

'I hate to do this, I really do, but…'

He grabbed my arm rather roughly and made me open my palm. The imprint of the small snake was on it and I drew back frightened.

He didn't let me get away. His eyes seemed almost white as they looked into mine.

'How do you know?' he asked, but his voice was different.

'Know what?' I said, desperately trying to pull away.

'You know what I mean. You know,' he told me.

'I want you to let me go right now,' I almost shrieked.

'I'll find out,' he said roughly, squeezing my hand so hard that I thought the bones would break.

'Just pray that I don't,' he said, pulling me to him until the words echoed in my ear.

And then I knew this was Tom Riddle talking, even though this dark haired boy looked nothing like him. I heard the same metallic voice, or the shadow of that voice.

He finally let me go and I almost fell into him, but he pushed me away.

He put his finger to his mouth and smiled, before leaving.

_I hate to do this, _he had said.

I ran after him even though I knew it was crazy.

'Black!' I shouted and turned his shoulder.

'Pardon? What do you want?' he said blinking rapidly, obviously surprised. His eyes were brown once more.

The words were rushing to my mouth, but I found I had nothing to say, absolutely nothing.

'Look, I don't have time for this,' he said coldly, pushing past me swiftly.

I just wanted to shake him, shake the poison out of him, because whatever it was, it was poison.

This wasn't just Dark Magic, this was the kind that no amateur had any desire to know. This was the kind that made you think Crucio wasn't all that bad.

I knew this must be a high level, but no matter his strength, he _must_ have acquired it some way. He wasn't born with it, though being the Slytherin heir probably made it easier for him.

My heart felt smaller and smaller when I thought of Harry. He had to fight against this man, this man who had poisoned himself with the worst kind of Magic. Harry was pure. His heart had never been defiled by this sorcery.

But Riddle's heart was probably flowing with this poison.

The only way to stand up against him was to know some Dark Magic yourself. You had to fight him with his own weapons. And you failed from the start because by doing this, you'd become like him, the very thing you wanted to destroy.

It was a sick, vicious circle, but I knew he wouldn't let me go. I knew he'd still harm me, with every chance he got.

I had managed to secure that. I had been stupid, very, very stupid.

I could have been free from him, but now he was bent on making _me_ bend. That's how I saw it at least.

I wasn't the only one who felt like that. I saw the same feeling on the faces of some Gryffindors who had probably bothered him. I sometimes heard conversations in the common room about it and it chilled me to the bone. He had the habit of making people miserable. You were either on his side, or his enemy.

I just couldn't understand how he could bully an entire school and get away with it.

I just couldn't.

But like I said, I had to protect myself, which meant I had to…research some Dark Magic.

* * *

I already knew I'd find nothing in the actual library and that I had to seek in the Restricted Section.

The librarian, a pretty red-head who wore very high heels, told me that usually Sixth Years or Seventh Years held the key to the Restricted Section.

'I thought we just need to get passes from teachers,' I said puzzled.

'That's for those below Fourth Year,' she said bored, as she looked at her nails with a frown on her face.

I guess they changed that policy after Riddle…

'If you want something from there, you will have to make a request to the student,' she said, swishing her wand in the air. I saw a pair of scissors fly from a back drawer and land on the table. Then the scissors got up and started trimming her nails.

This woman didn't seem to be paying attention to me. I wondered why she was a librarian to begin with.

'Who is the student?'

'From your House? Tom Riddle.'

'Are you sure?' I asked quickly. 'Is there no one else?'

She looked up at me surprised. The scissors paused in the air.

'No, why would there? One student per house.'

'Can I try the students at the other houses?'

'Darling, you're in Slytherin,' she said as if I had said I was a cabbage.

'I know that, but…'

'Oh, my radio program starts in five, so we'll have to cut this short. Mr. Riddle is somewhere around here. I saw him come in some minutes ago. Go talk to him, alright darling?' she said waving her hand as she headed towards a small door in the back. The pair of scissors followed her obediently.

I almost wanted to grab those scissors and cut that red hair of hers, but I stopped myself.

She disappeared behind that door.

I sorely missed Madam Pince right about now.

I couldn't just stand in front of the desk all day long. I had come here for a reason. Yes, he was the keeper of the key, but that shouldn't stop me.

Yes, I was looking up Dark Magic and yes it was with the single purpose to defend myself from him, but that had nothing to do with his scholastic duty of keeping that damned key.

I, like every student past Fourth Year, had the right to the Restricted Section, in decent limits. And judging by the way this school ran, I bet the keepers of the key were useless to begin with.

The rules were much more lax.

This wouldn't be easy at all, but I had been used to challenges. I had fought Death Eaters, hadn't I?

This was the library. I wouldn't get too close to him. I had wanted not to find myself alone with him anymore.

But I would go there and ask him for the key and I wouldn't care about anything else.

I walked around the library aimlessly, trying to find him.

At last, I saw him pulling down some books from a shelf.

I breathed in and out and walked towards him decidedly.

He put the book back in its place and stared at me blankly. I folded my arms and stood almost five feet away from him.

'You wouldn't be needing the book I want, would you?' he said pointing at the one he was going to take out.

He sounded very detached, like he was talking to some distant acquaintance. Like we were classmates and he was the guy I took my notes from.

His face didn't express anything.

'What book?' I managed to say.

'You'll have to come closer to see,' he said.

'No chance of that happening,' I said sharply.

He raised a brow. He looked… puzzled?

'Why not?' he asked innocently.

'Look, you're not fooling me with your little act. I'm not here to chat with you about books. I need the key to the Restricted Section.'

He pondered for a moment, before smiling friendly at me.

'Well, if you need a favour from me, this isn't your best approach is it?'

'I won't beg _again,_ Riddle. This time I'll go to the Headmaster,' I said firmly.

'Who said anything about begging? You didn't even ask, did you? People have lost all their common sense, I always say.'

'Common sense?'

'Good manners. No one has any manners anymore, have you noticed?' he said touching the spines of the books.

'I've noticed,' I said. I was angry. I was angry because he had hurt me and humiliated me and now he wanted to act like nothing happened.

'I've noticed you don't care about such things. I've noticed you handle people like they're objects.'

He chuckled and stepped up towards me. I stepped back.

'But people are objects,' he said serenely. 'Most of the times, they act like objects.'

'Well, I'm not. And I won't stand for the way you treat me,' I said, gritting my teeth.

'Yes you will. They all do,' he said, stepping up again. 'It's what people do. They are all a miserable lot, unfortunately.'

'I won't.'

'I would put a bet on it, but I don't like to gamble. How about we settle this some other way?' he said coming even closer to me.

'How about you just surrender and spare yourself and me all the trouble?' he said, his voice low and guttural. 'I think we could settle that. I think you'd like it, if you just gave it a try.'

'I want the Key,' I said, looking away from him, but all I could see were his eyes. I wasn't sure if it was an illusion or not.

'Other ladies have tried too and none have complained. I think you'll find them all quite satisfied,' he said. He wasn't smiling, but I could see he was going to break into that horrible grin.

'I think you made sure they didn't complain,' I spat.

His eyes were looking into mine with a strange graveness that eluded me.

'And how would you know that?'

'I don't need to know these things. I can tell. I can tell you shut them up. Like you did to many people.'

'And yet _you _still talk. Isn't that proof of my benevolence?'

He had the ability to make me livid. I was going to hit the roof. I rambled on incoherently.

'I think you're just afraid because you know I know more and you're not sure _what_ I know,' I said fast. I wanted to hit him somewhere it hurt. I wanted him to know I knew more than everyone else.

I always got these uncontrolled urges to harm and cause pain when I was around him. It felt pleasant to do these things…

He wasn't saying anything so I continued undeterred.

'I saw what you did to Black. I know your rage. You probably can't stand not knowing something.'

I almost saw a shadow of anger cross his eyes, but it was gone in the next second.

'You've come here for the Key, haven't you?' he suddenly asked.

He pulled it out of one of his pockets and handed it to me. I held one end and he held the other.

I felt the blood-curdling flutter again on my skin, but I didn't snatch the key away. I stayed for a couple of moments in that position, as our eyes seemed to exchange colour between them. I could see my brown eyes in his.

But the moment was gone and I thankfully grabbed the key and turned away.

I was going blindly, between rows of books, looking back from time to time to make sure he wasn't following me.

But he had remained in the same spot.


	5. Follow your end

_**Sundays are a bliss, especially when I got time for writing :) New chapter up which I hope you will all enjoy. I wanted to thank everyone for the wonderful reviews (!) and for reading. I'd also like to answer some anonymous reviewers. **_

_**tanzainy: Thank you for the substantial review and for the advice. I'm trying to write Hermione's thoughts so that they pulse with life, but sometimes they do come off as just confused and not authentic. I'm sorry about that, I'll try harder. I'm happy you like the interactions between Tom and Hermione. I'm trying to build their relationship in a different way, I don't know if I can, but I'll attempt to anyway. Thanks again for reading. **_

_**Bre: Thanks for the consistent review! I'm happy you like Black as a character. I honestly think he's not that well fleshed out but he will be in latter chapters. The relationship between him and Tom is rather...disturbing, but not in a sexual way or something as stupid as that. In any case, Hermione won't be turning Dark, but she will be changing, if only slightly, which means she will come to understand and acknowledge some things. Also, she'll stop seeing things in black and white. Thanks again for reading. **_

_**So without further ado, enjoy the new chapter and as always tell me what you think!**_

_**P.S. The songs at the beginning of each chapter are very representative and I listen to them as I write so they give the atmosphere I suppose (and hope). So give them a try if you like :)  
**_

*

_Where do we go nobody knows_  
_Don't ever say you're on your way, down_  
_When God gave you style and gave you grace_  
_And put a smile upon your face_  
_Oh yeah_

_And ah, when you work it out I'm worse than you_  
_Yeah_  
_When you work it out i wanted to_  
_And ah, when you work out where to draw the line_  
_Your guess is as good as mine._

Coldplay - God put a smile on your face

_*_

Chapter 5: Follow your end 

I'd be lying if I said I found anything very useful.

The Restricted Section hadn't changed all that much, but there were a few books here and there that were hard to overlook and would probably disappear in the next ten years. As I thought, most books dealt in Dark Magic, but they only explained certain events or accidents in history that were connected with Dark Magic, or described different creatures or concoctions derived from very dark spells.

Only it didn't tell you how to perform those spells, it didn't tell you how to make those potions or create those dreadful creatures. It didn't show you how to _do _Dark Magic, it just showed you the many ways in which it existed. Probably so you could fend for yourself against it.

But I needed something else; something a lot more concrete. Something that would actually explain Dark Magic in a way that I could make out.

That is not to say I didn't take some books with me, mostly the ones that were bound to be taken off the shelves on a more thorough inspection.

After two hours I was ready to leave the Section, slightly disappointed, but I saw a small niche between two large tomes in a corner of the shelf.

I took out the large books and discovered two rolls of parchments.

I quickly unraveled them to discover…nothing.

They were completely white, no print on them whatsoever.

I used a Revealing Charm on them, but it didn't work. I used other Charms I knew would help, but the parchments did not cooperate.

I stuffed them in my pockets of my robe anyway because you could never be sure about these things and it was better if I analyzed them in my dorm.

When I got to the front desk, the librarian was painting her nails.

'Hi, it's me again,' I told her.

She looked up blankly and scratched her head.

'I don't think I've seen you before. Do you want a book?'

I had charmed the covers of the books so that they looked like ordinary Herbology books.

Madam Pince usually checked the books for such things, but this girl just glanced at them, signed something on a sheet and waved her hand at me.

'Off you go then, darling. Oh and you should bring them back in two weeks or even earlier if you're done with them,' she said airily.

I really had to talk to Headmaster Dippet about her.

Then again, it was a lot easier to sneak out books with her around, so maybe this was a good thing.

* * *

If I had thought that I could look over the books and parchments in peace in my own bed I was wrong.

There was a great racket in the girls' dormitories. Seven girls had gathered in a corner to talk to Greta Goyle. I didn't bother much with them, but all the other girls were listening in on the conversation and I couldn't help overhearing.

To be frank, I was slightly curious.

From her tone, Greta seemed to be complaining. She appeared to be very angry.

'So much for gratitude, that mindless tart! I mean I sometimes even talked to her and this is how she repays me?! How can she think she'll get away with this?'

'Don't worry Greta, by tomorrow she'll be too hexed to walk out of the Infirmary,' a girl said, patting her shoulder, but she jerked away. Her face reminded me of a fat, little pig whose eyes had burst out of its orbits.

'I'd like to shove a broom up her throat, that conniving harlot!' Greta went on. 'Not only did she dare appear with Tom, but she was holding him like a daft idiot. I don't think he even noticed her.'

Some of the girls gave each other strange looks. I think they knew different, but they weren't about to incense her rage.

I saw Victoria was sitting next to her friends, talking with them quietly.

I approached, in the hopes that they wouldn't walk away, or pretend I wasn't there and they actually were nice enough to look at me.

'Oh, you. Did you hear all that?' Victoria asked pointing at Greta.

'Pretty much,' I said shrugging my shoulders. 'I don't understand how she can be jealous over someone like him.'

'Well, it's probably because he's a good kisser, apparently,' one of the girls who I think was Lucille said.

'I guess his conceited attitude makes him more attractive, or maybe because he treats women like shite. But he does know how to make them come back. I think Penny Ringfield still writes letters to him,' the other girl, Catherine said.

'Who is Penny Ringfield?' I asked confused.

'Oh, she's a girl in Ravenclaw. She started having a thing for Riddle in third year. They had this abusive relationship, I think. I mean the poor girl looked ashen most of the times she was with him,' Catherine explained.

'Maybe they should learn a lesson and stay away from him,' I said, pointing at Greta.

'I'd second that, only Riddle is too good-looking to overlook entirely,' the other girl, Bridget, added. 'Sure he might be a psychotic killer, or a tad mad here and there, but that doesn't mean he's off the market, you know.'

'Who is this girl Greta is so angry over anyway?' I asked.

'Some Gryffindor apparently,' Victoria answered, frowning. 'I can't say who though, I'm not exactly a fan of that House. All I know is that she's a Pureblood.'

My mouth almost fell.

'A Gryffindor?! But Slytherins aren't in good relations with them at all.' I was going to say Slytherins loathed Gryffindors but I think that would have sounded something Ron would say.

'Oh, that's not an impediment for Riddle. He doesn't care about such things,' Victoria said. 'He's what you call, open-minded. Well, mind you, he does make it a rule not to date Muggleborns. So you are safe.'

'Ha! Like I would ever be on good terms with him,' I said almost laughing.

But the fact that Tom Riddle dated was slightly weird for me to hear, because this made him more human, more like normal people. And was that even possible?

I doubted dating him would be anything pleasant, unless you ignored the fact that he was slightly off.

I was starting to see that even though he wasn't popular with the Slytherins, that didn't mean that girls were off limits to him.

I pitied the poor Gryffindor girl though. Greta seemed merciless.

I wouldn't ever risk even a nail for that man.

* * *

Although the following week was depressing for me, between tears, memories, wishful thinking and death wishes, I did manage to have some satisfaction when my scholastic abilities kicked in.

My first victory took place during the Transfiguration class. Dumbledore's presence was anything but reassuring since I felt very awkward whenever I saw him, but he was an excellent teacher and half-way through the class I understood what I had to do and how. I set to work immediately.

We had to take a simple silver pocket-watch and turn it into a red bird, with four yellow streaks on its feathers and three blue dots on its beak. It also had to fly, which seemed natural for a bird to do, but a Transfigured bird had to be taught how to do that first. It was like a baby bird that hadn't gone out of the nest yet.

This was the time to prove myself, because I wouldn't gain respect any other way, I presumed.

I struggled a bit for a good fifteen minutes until finally…almost there…

'I'm done Professor,' a smug voice said in the back.

It was Tom Riddle.

I saw his bird rising in the air a little bit, but not flying off because he kept her close with his wand.

She seemed perfect. I mean she was red and though I couldn't see from where I was I suspected it had no flaw.

I sighed in disappointment.

Dumbledore went to check the bird. I managed to finish mine and it flew over my head serenely.

'Oh, Tom, very fast as usual. But let us see if you have overlooked something,' Dumbledore said as he looked over the tiny creature.

I glanced at my tiny bird and smiled sadly.

'You know I used to be the first in class, but I guess that's silly isn't it? I mean I shouldn't want to be the first…I'm so competitive. Competition isn't everything, I know that. Hmmm, I think I'll give you a name. How about…Gwendolyn?'

I could swear she nodded. My smile grew.

'Alright then, Gwendolyn.'

'Well, I'm afraid to say, Mr. Riddle, that your bird isn't really flying. You are just holding it up with your wand. While the spell is admirable, this is a bit of a stratagem, isn't it? I'm afraid I cannot give you an O,' Dumbledore's voice rang in the classroom.

My mouth fell open once again. I couldn't help being overwhelmed by a feeling of joy as I looked into Riddle's befuddled face.

'Sir, I have finished too,' I said with glee.

Dumbledore checked my bird and called it perfect, to use his words exactly. I almost wanted to jump up and skip around the classroom.

'Very well done, Miss Greystone. I believe then that you are the first who accomplished the task,' he said smiling.

I know it was silly to be this happy, but I had totally outdone Riddle. It was a small victory, but it was a victory nonetheless, because I knew he was considered a bit of a prodigy so it felt very nice to prove he was not.

I knew he was probably staring at me, but I didn't turn around. I was just glad I had Gwendolyn. She'd be my new friend and the proof that I could be better than that twat.

When I left the class, he passed me and when our eyes met he had a look of annoyance, mixed with something else I couldn't put my finger on. A strong flutter started in my stomach as I savoured my win, but something else fluttered there too, maybe because his eyes looked blue now, instead of grey.

* * *

The following evening, as I entered the girls' bathroom on the fourth floor, I heard something like a sniff in one of the stalls. Someone was crying. The sound was very sad. That girl must have been very miserable because her crying made he feel very uncomfortable. It was a soft, painful wail.

I knocked on her door shyly.

'Are you alright?'

She didn't answer and I waited patiently for her to talk. She would eventually.

I guess my Gryffindor spirit was finally coming out. I wanted to help somebody.

'I'm fine, please go,' she managed to say after a while.

'You don't sound fine at all.'

'You can't help me, okay?' she insisted.

'Are you sure? Maybe I can. Whatever you are crying about, it can't be that bad.'

'Oh yes it can,' she sniffed again.

'Would you please open the door?'

'Why? Who are you anyway?'

'I'm not going to harm you,' I said gently.

After a minute or so, I heard a soft clinch. I pushed the door open slightly.

Inside was a frail young girl, with long red hair and a face full of freckles. She had a pair of wet blue eyes that looked like two violets.

Only, on her left cheek, the word TART had been imprinted rather badly by a set of nasty looking pimples.

'Goodness, who did that to you?' I asked worried.

'I thought you would laugh,' she said, between tears.

'Never…'

'Well, this stupid girl threw this curse on me.'

I noticed her robes. She was a Gryffindor. Then, the wheels in my head started turning.

'The girl wouldn't happen to be Greta Goyle, would she?'

At the mere sound of the name, she turned to me with hateful eyes.

'That horrible, horrible girl,' she muttered. 'She is insane.'

'I know her and she's not very nice. I heard she was going to punish you. Had I known who you were I would have warned you,' I said pityingly.

'Oh,' she waved her hand, 'it's not like I could do anything. I should never have accepted Riddle.'

'Look, how about I try and take off that…thing on your face? I know it's a long shot, but I don't think Goyle is_ that_ bright,' I said smiling.

'Who are you?' she asked surprised. 'Why are you being so kind to me?'

'I guess I like helping people. I'm Jane.'

We shook hands.

'I'm in Slytherin by the way, but don't get fooled by that. I don't really belong there, I suppose,' I said shaking my head.

For a moment, something like fear crossed her eyes.

'How do I know you're not tricking me?'

'I really can't do anything worse to your face,' I replied, smiling sadly.

She sighed and nodded her head.

'I'm Mary Finnigan,' she said getting out of the stall.

'Finnigan?!' I asked bewildered. This must be Seamus' grandmother of some sorts.

'What is it?'

'I've heard about your family.'

'Yes, we're quite famous in Ireland. Can you really help me with my face? I'd be eternally grateful.'

'Well, I can try, but you'll have to sit down.'

We went in the back where the shower stalls were, and we found a small bench on which we sat together. I inspected her face and quickly gathered all the remedial spells I knew in my head.

As I started working though, I couldn't help feeling more than just curious about this girl. Not only was she a Finnigan, but she had apparently dated Tom Riddle.

'So…you went out with Riddle, eh?' I began awkwardly.

She blinked and nodded.

'Well, I guess it can't be called dating exactly, but we did kiss a bit,' she said nonchalantly.

I almost made a face, but I managed to conceal it.

'Wasn't it, well, odd to date him?'

'Why?'

'Well, you know who he is…He's not that pleasant. And he's a nasty Slytherin.'

She looked at me confused.

'Well, he might be far too arrogant for his own good, but he wasn't all that bad with me. I heard rumours of him being almost evil, but he treated me nicely.'

This story was getting more and more preposterous. First Riddle dated, now he was acting nice to his dates.

'There were moments when he was a bit too much to handle, but I think that's what I liked about him. I don't like him now though.'

'Because of Greta?' I asked.

'No…He is always cold. And after a while, I got tired of that and we broke it off.'

'But you just said he was too much to handle sometimes.'

'Yes, but his passion, if there really was any, was cold. Can you imagine that? I think only he's capable of that. All the girls told me to take a chance and date him even if it's dangerous, because I'd be amazed. And I was really. That boy is…very special. Not always in a good way, mind you.'

I smiled bitterly.

'Oh he's special alright. He got you cursed.'

'I suppose you don't like him.'

'That would be an understatement,' I said. 'He's a very unpleasant fellow. He treated me badly.'

'Oh. Did you anger him?' she asked curious.

'No…I don't think so. I guess he's got something with Muggleborns,' I said annoyed.

'Muggleborns? Are you Muggleborn?'

'Yep. And proud of it.'

'Wow and you're in Slytherin! How did that ever happen?'

'It just did. I can't really understand it myself. Well, I think I'm done,' I said. 'I didn't do much but I think it's an improvement.'

She went to the mirrors and gasped. A small smile appeared at the corner of her lips.

I didn't exactly get rid of the word per se, but now it was barely visible. One would have to squint pretty hard to make it out.

'I think it will go away in some time, but I think you could find a better spell. You should do some research in the library,' I told her.

Her smile grew as she took my hands.

'Thank you so much! It's much better now! How can I pay you back?'

'Don't worry about it. I'm glad to help,' I said waving my hand.

She raised a brow.

'You know, you really don't belong in Slytherin.'

'Thanks,' I said brightly. 'I needed to hear that.'

We walked out of the bathroom together. She asked if we could talk some other time or maybe get together in Hogsmeade.

I was only too eager to accept, because I really wanted to spend time with my real house. I missed the Gryffindors dearly.

We were just about to walk down the stairs, when we heard a deafening sound and Headmaster Dippet's voice ringing down the hallways.

'All students return to their dormitories immediately! I repeat, all students return to their dormitories immediately! This is an emergency!'

I looked at Mary and she looked at me concerned.

'What is this about?' I asked surprised.

'Oh, we've had another alarm like this one a year ago, remember? It couldn't be that the Chamber has opened again, could it?'

I looked at her frightened and I shook my head vigorously.

It couldn't be!

I felt deep down in my gut that it must be something else.

But if it was the Chamber again, then they had to find Riddle. By _they_ I meant the teachers, but I quickly realized they would have no reason to do so, since only very few knew the actual truth.

Riddle had to be caught though. If this was his work, then he had to be caught and expelled.

In a way I felt I had to do something, because I knew the truth and I had the possibility to help Hogwarts. I couldn't just let this happen, could I? Not now when my Gryffindor spirit was shining through.

I parted ways and I went in search for Riddle. I tried the second-floor bathroom, but he was not there and the place looked harmless enough. I hid behind a large cupboard on the corridor so that no one would spot me and I waited for everyone to leave so I could search better.

When the corridors emptied, I walked out and continued my search. I stopped dead at a window when I noticed a figure walking in the grounds. He was cloaked, but I recognized the hair and I knew it must be Riddle.

This was a very stupid thing to do that I would probably regret later, but I decided to follow him. I knew this was a bad omen.

I managed to sneak out by the back doors (which weren't difficult to get past, another hint that Dippet was not a very strict Headmaster) that led to Hagrid's hut and I walked out in the cold night air.

I saw he was going into the Forbidden Forest. I ran after him, planning on stopping him and asking him some deserved questions, but he was walking very fast and I barely managed to catch up with him.

'Riddle!' I shouted when I got close to him.

He stopped dead in his tracks and turned to me. We had passed the first few tall trees of the forest.

'What in the world are _you_ doing here?'

'I should ask you the same question. Why are you sneaking into the Forbidden Forest? Didn't you hear Headmaster Dippet's announcement?'

'No, I think I didn't catch that one,' he said smirking. 'As you didn't either, obviously. Go back to the castle, Greystone.'

'I'll go when you come with me. You have no business in the Forbidden Forest.'

'Well, now that you've told me I will clearly go back with you,' he replied rolling his eyes.

'Listen, I'm not joking! I will tell Headmaster Dippet that you…'

'That I what? Stop using Dippet's name with the pretense that it has any effect on me.'

'Is that so?'

'Quite right. Go tell Dippet whatever you want, I have work to do. Why did you even follow me?'

'I knew you were going to do something stupid and harmful,' I spat.

'Excellent logics. Now would you go away?'

'Not a chance.'

'Look, Greystone, unless you want me to hex…'

But his words were cut off when we heard this terrible noise coming from the forest.

'W-What was that?' I asked trembling.

It sounded like shouts, but I couldn't tell if they were animal or human.

'Damn,' he said and started running in the direction of the sounds.

'Oh, no you don't,' I shouted running after him.

We were going deeper into the forest. There was no light anymore and the long branches of the trees felt like walls that prevented us from going any further.

I took out my wand, panting as I stopped next to him.

The sounds were more pronounced. Now I was sure they were humans. It sounded like cruel laughter.

I could see some cold, blue rays in the sky as some trees fell down in the distance.

I saw centaurs running about wildly. Two canine looking creatures jumped out of nowhere and started running after the centaurs.

We had to hide behind a clump of trees not to get stumped on.

'Greystone, do you have a dying wish or are you just stupid?' he spat at me. 'Get back to the castle.'

'Who the hell are those people?' I asked him, pointing at the rays in the distance.

He threw me a look and chuckled.

'Who do you think? Grindelwald and his men.'

'Grindelwald?!' I exclaimed surprised. I hadn't even thought that he could ever come to Hogwarts.

'So that was what the alarm was about?' I asked frightened.

'Good God, I have no idea how you managed to Transfigure that bird…' he muttered.

'Then what are you doing here? Are you trying to fight them?' I asked.

He almost laughed.

'I'd like to join them.'

'Do you think they will receive you?! They have come to attack Hogwarts!'

'And I will help them,' he said revealing his teeth.

'Are you mad? They will kill you as well.'

'I doubt they will,' he said darkly. 'I can be quite persuasive. I think they'll like me on their side.'

I grabbed his cloak angrily.

'What you are saying makes no sense! You don't even know who you are dealing with and you think…'

He jerked away immediately.

'Stay back Greystone. You'll get badly hurt if you interfere.'

'Riddle, I know you're bent on ruling the world and other crap like that, but this is not the time and place to get that. We need to get out of this forest!'

'You go,' he said flatly.

'I won't let you do this!'

'Why?'

'Because…it's pure madness!'

'I won't die.'

'Oh, don't worry, that's the least of my concerns,' I said annoyed. 'But I won't allow you to join those mad people and turn against Hogwarts!'

'You seem to be very fond of this place. You've been here for how much time?'

'That doesn't matter! This is my home, I won't let you harm it!'

Another deafening sound made us silent as we heard the cry of a centaur.

It was the cry of the death. Many cries started spreading around the forest, almost like a signal.

When I turned around, Riddle was gone.

'Riddle? Riddle? Where are you?' I asked downright terrified.

'Riddle, come out right now!' I cried.

I ran out of the hiding hoping to find him. The darkness wasn't so thick anymore since the blue rays were getting closer.

I ran towards them, praying this wouldn't be my end.

I called out for Riddle from time to time, but he was nowhere to be found.

I almost fell in a giant hole and broke my neck. When I looked down, I saw four centaurs had fallen in it and they were covered in blood.

I covered my eyes horrified and went on.

The sky was full of smoke, but I saw no fire. It was hard to breathe now, because the toxic air was filling my lungs, but it was unlike anything else I had smelt.

It was like a deep, choking fog.

I couldn't see very far in front of me.

This was the reason why the hex took me by surprise. It barely missed my shoulder. I bent down, my wand ready.

I saw a gruesome figure coming out of the smoke. It was a corpulent man that sported not only a wand, but also a heavy bat.

He cast many curses my way, but I tried deflecting them as best as I could.

'Well, what are ye doin' in the forest at this time, lass?' he asked, grinning. 'Come here, let me look at ye better.'

I threw a Petrificus charm his way but I missed and I fell backwards.

He was almost upon me, but I punched him hard in the face and crawled away from him as fast as I could.

He pulled my legs to him and I squirmed away shouting.

'Let me go!'

He revealed a set of sharpened teeth. They didn't look like normal teeth at all. I was almost paralyzed by his hungry stare as he licked my leg with glee.

'Monster! Get away!' I shouted.

'But I've just found my dessert,' he said laughing.

I didn't want to die. In my desperation I called out a name. I thought it was Harry's name.

'Tom! Tom!'

It echoed across the forest.

I felt the teeth grazing my skin and the bat ready to crush my bones.

But then nothing happened. When I opened my eyes, I saw he was lying some feet away from me in the grass. In the distance I could see a dark figure but I didn't wait. I ran away as fast as I could.

When I looked back I thought I saw Riddle. But I wasn't sure.

However, when I turned around, I realized it was him and he was fighting two other men.

I saw two other coming up behind him and I almost held my breath when I saw he was thrown down, but he quickly got up and started fighting again.

I hid behind a tree helplessly, hoping Dumbledore or anyone would come to help us…well, me.

I watched on as more of Grindelwald's men appeared behind the trees.

I was starting to feel that Riddle was getting a bit outnumbered.

Some of the followers I saw were heading towards Hogwarts.

I was torn between going back to Hogwarts to help everyone or…stay here and wait and watch the fight unfold. What was I doing? I had to do something, but I couldn't move.

I wanted to leave, but something told me to stay.

I approached the scene of the fight stealthily. I swore I could see blood at the corner of Riddle's lips. But his expression was stone cold. He looked so determined and so ruthless that I couldn't help but feel that these men didn't know who they were standing up against. I felt they were stronger, but he seemed superior.

However, they had brute force on their side and Riddle wasn't that strong.

I saw he was trying to talk to them, but they weren't having it. From time to time I noticed that some invisible shields appeared in front of them.

One of them shouted:

'We are immune to your Dark Magic!

I understood they deflected any dark spells, but the shields couldn't last forever. I felt they were weakening.

Then I saw that a hairy man had stepped forwards from the foggy shadows. He had long claws and howled like a beast. His eyes were dark and bloody.

_Werewolf_, I thought petrified.

He held a long, golden scepter which he threw at Riddle's feet. At first I was puzzled, but I saw his powers were lessening to an extent. The gold was apparently affecting his powers.

'You wouldn't happen to be a Hogwarts student, would you? We love young meat, yes we do,' he said licking his lips devilishly.

Riddle tried speaking, but he was suddenly thrown to the ground by two other men.

The werewolf took out his wand.

'I like to eat my meat cold. Grindelwald's orders I'm afraid.'

I saw Riddle struggling with all his might, but I think the scepter wasn't letting him repel them.

'Goodbye, little man,' the werewolf said laughing.

I knew he was going to kill Riddle. That werewolf was going to kill Riddle and with him Voldemort.

In just mere seconds there wouldn't be a Voldemort anymore. In just a few seconds the nightmare would be over.

I could already see Riddle's cadaver, lying lifeless on the ground.

My heart got caught up in my throat.

I waited for him to finish him off.

I gripped the bark of the tree with all my might, praying that I would be strong enough to see this.

But I looked down at my torn stockings and I realized…

I remembered that I was about to die myself, but I had called for him and he had heard me.

The shock surged through me like a warm liquid.

He had saved me. He must have.

I had seen that monster lying on the ground, unconscious. I had run away. I had seen Riddle.

Watching him die now, I felt a pang of guilt as I realized that unwillingly, he was my saviour.

He could have left me to die. It wouldn't have been his fault. He had had no gain in saving me. Or at least that's what I thought.

He had saved me but now I was letting him die.

It was not right, was it?

But it was! It was the rightest thing! It was!

He was a murderer! He wanted to join these creeps and take over Hogwarts! He wanted to harm the students and he wanted to torture innocent people. He had killed a young girl! He had opened the Chamber of Secrets!  
He had risen to power and murdered so many wonderful wizards and witches from the Order. He had killed Harry's parents and had been at fault for the suffering of Neville's parents and the Marauders…

He had brought panic, he had brought pain.

He wanted to kill Harry. He wanted to have the world at his knees. He would destroy the muggle world.

It was much, much better to let him die.

It was the sensible thing to do. People would call me a hero for letting this happen. Even this werewolf would be called a hero.

This would bring peace and happiness.

I could see his contorted face. I couldn't see the fear, but even he must fear death.

I wanted to see the fear. I wondered what he was thinking now.

Was he going to call my name like I had called his?

'Avada…' the werewolf began and I remembered how that Death Eater had almost uttered the killing curse. But I had spun the Time Turner.

I felt once more as if the curse was aimed at me.

Instinctively, I took out my wand and shouted _Expeliarmus _with all my force.

The Earth stood still for a moment or two as the werewolf fell back and the two men that were holding Riddle turned to me bewildered. I had come out of the trees.

I couldn't stop now. I swallowed.

Before they could react, I Petrified them and I threw curses everywhere, as if I was trying to get rid of some nasty spiders.

Riddle managed to escape their grasp and he ran towards me. I ran away as well and he followed me through the trees.

We were both throwing curses now, almost blindly.

I could see blood on his clothes and face, but I didn't care. I just ran.

I thought we would never stop running. I felt his heavy breath and I smelt the metallic taste of blood.

Two days ago I had thought I would never risk a nail for him.

Yes. I was an idiot.

I had ruined everything. I was the real murderer. I had had the chance to see Voldemort's end.

But as I looked at the running boy next to me, I couldn't fathom at the moment that he was the evil wizard. He was just a frightened, wounded young boy.

I thought I was delusional, but no, in front of us I saw Dumbledore himself, his wand withdrawn.

I saw two other wizards in the back.

I could barely talk. I just ran to him and dropped to my knees.

What really shocked me was that Riddle did the same thing. But he actually fell down.

When I looked over him, he had fainted. I was sure of it. I touched his bleeding forehead. His blood was on my fingers.

I heard Dumbledore say we were brave. I just looked up at the dark sky in desperation.

* * *

The nurse had checked my wounds and she saw I was perfectly alright. I was exhausted. I was probably mentally damaged, but physically I was in a decent shape. A few cuts and bruises here and there. But the shock remained. It was etched to my skin.

Riddle was not in a good state, but he would recover they said.

The attack had been repelled. The Ministry Aurors had arrived in time, but Grindelwald and some of his followers had escaped.

I suspected, from what Dumbledore said, that Grindelwald wanted to fight him alone.

What I found most ironic was that, Dumbledore came up to me and told me that we had helped. We had come in their way and slowed them down.

I almost felt like laughing. My tongue itched for me to say that Riddle was a bloody traitor who wanted to join them.

I even had the chance to say it. He asked us why we were in the Forbidden Forest to begin with and all I could reply was:

'We saw the rays, we knew it was them.'

Just like that. I don't know why I couldn't say it, I don't know why my mouth felt so dry, but as much as I tried to say those words, the image of Riddle lying unconscious in the grass next to me made me utter the stupidest things.

'Why weren't you in the castle?'

'I saw Riddle outside and I decided to follow him,' I said. That was the only truthful part.

'Why did you do such a thing, Miss Greystone?'

'I thought he was going to do something bad,' I managed through gritted teeth. If I was such a coward that I couldn't tell the truth I would at least tell him that I thought Riddle was heinous.

'Something bad?' he asked.

'You know very well what I mean. He is not innocent at all,' I said.

He stared at me curiously.

'Yes, young Mr. Riddle is never without fault, I'm afraid,' he said sadly. 'It seems he's taken some wrong paths.'

I wanted to shout at him to lock him up and take him away, but I had saved his life and I deserved no better. I deserved to be locked up in Azkaban with him.

I wanted to leave the Infirmary.

Watching him sleep in that white bed felt like watching a dead man. He looked very calm and peaceful. Almost like he was having a good dream.

I wanted to slap him over and over again, until he admitted he was an idiot.

I don't think Dumbledore perceived my annoyance, because he asked me to stay with him.

'Very few people from his House came to see him. I'm afraid Miss Goyle is a rather disruptive influence right now. Would you care to stay with him? He will wake up soon. It would be good if you two talked.'

No it wouldn't.

'After all, you two were in this together.'

_Together_. That sounded so vile in this context. It's as if we had slaughtered a dozen innocent little children in some sick ritual together.

We had both almost died. The only difference was that he deserved to die.

Harry would hate me. They all would.

And I think I hated myself a bit too.

I had prevented a necessary death. I was worse than Bellatrix.

I sat on that stool, looking at the cloudy sky outside, wishing I was anywhere else.

His face was full of small scars that enhanced some of his gentler traits.

I hoped the scars would remain forever.

Just like my scar.

I was so entranced in my own thoughts that I didn't notice him opening his eyes.

He coughed quietly and I almost jumped out of my seat.

I looked at him surprised and he looked at me, just as baffled as I was.

We stared into each other's eyes for a long time.

He was going to try to say something.

'Don't speak,' I stopped him.

I couldn't bear to hear him speak. It was hard enough to look at him.

I remained quiet and averted my eyes to my shoes. I was trying to make him disappear, but even though I tried to imagine that bed empty, he was still there, watching me.

Then I remembered something.

I took out the Key he had given him.

'I forgot to give you this,' I said and I placed it in his hands.

He looked at it with curiosity.

'Thanks,' I muttered after a full minute.

I looked into his eyes and I knew he understood I didn't mean the Key.

When a small smile appeared at the corner of his lips I just turned away horrified and ran as fast as I could.

* * *

_**Next time, Hermione will delve into those secret parchments**_ **_and we'll find out if Riddle can show gratitude. until next time :)_**


	6. Broken Lines

**Hi everyone, I managed to write a new chapter thanks to some free time. Once again, I'm not very pleased with it. I rewrote some things so many times I'm starting to feel bitter. Anyway, enough rambling. Thanks to anonymous reviewers _Maria_ and_ ashley_ for their kind reviews and to everyone who reviewed and read:) Thanks a lot guys, your reviews make my day and probably my week too. Well, I hope you like this chapter. **

*

_No one believes that it's true_  
_What that fucker can do_  
_Aw you know what that sucker can do_  
_Yeah you know what that mother can do_  
_Yeah you know what that fucker can do_

Angela McCluskey-Sucker

_*  
_

Chapter 6: Broken Lines 

_The Rine Circle was first used in 1067 by Cadillar Wolfgang in a fight with Balthazar Allistor. Wolfgang had been trying to perform the ritual for several years and he finally managed to perfect it with the help of snake scales. Though he was successful in repelling Allistor's attacks, Wolfgang suffered severe injuries and was heavily weakened afterwards… _

'Hey, Jane.'

My head snapped up and I closed the book fast. I wouldn't want to be caught reading these books because it would just make things more problematic for me and the last thing I needed was to let people know what I was doing.

Bridget peered at me from between the curtains.

'We need to talk to you, come by our beds,' she said. Another head popped next to hers. It was Catherine.

'It's important,' she said.

I sighed and pushed the books under my bed. I suspected what they wanted to talk about. I was in no mood to discuss that, or think about that.

The dorm was almost empty. A lot of parents had taken their children home until they saw fit to send them here again. After Grindenwald's surprise attack many felt that Hogwarts was not the safest place for their offspring. Not with that wizard on the loose.

Victoria and the girls were waiting for me. Two of them were sitting on one bed, the other two on another. I sat next to Lucille and waited patiently for the questions to come pouring in.

'I suppose you know what the entire school is talking about,' Vicky started. Yes, I knew, I did hear the rumours.

'We're not sure which are facts and which are just words, to be frank,' Catherine started. 'All we know is that you and Riddle were found in the forest by Dumbledore. We thought Riddle had made you go with him, but we'd like to hear what happened from your own mouth. We wouldn't like to believe those nasty rumours about you and him...'

They looked at me with their beady eyes, expecting me to say something that would assure them.

'I followed him. I thought he would do something bad…I thought he would try something again, like last year,' I said, very quietly.

Bridget shook her head and put her forefinger to her lips.

'Are you telling us the truth?' Catherine asked.

'Why wouldn't I?'

'Well, that was really stupid of you. What did you think you could accomplish, Jane?' Victoria asked sternly.

'Well, it was better than sitting here doing nothing,' I said precipitated, though I knew my argument was rather silly.

Lucille threw me a bland look and patted my shoulder slowly.

'You've got the heroine complex, you should get rid of that,' she said sympathetically. 'It only brings trouble, you know.'

'I didn't know that Grindenwald would show up,' I protested.

'Yes, but you went into the Forbidden Forest with…well, with someone like him. Do you trust him or something?' Catherine asked annoyed.

'I don't think his own mother would trust him,' I scoffed.

'Okay, so let's suppose you followed him. Then what happened? Were you two attacked?'

'Yes, but we managed to escape,' I said briefly looking down.

'Aha. We heard something different,' Victoria said leaning closer to me. 'We heard Riddle saved you from those men.'

'What? Where did you hear that?' I asked agitated.

'Rumours of course. Lucille heard it from Rosier who heard it from Black. Is it true?'

'No, not at all,' I answered. 'Nothing of the sort.'

'Really? Because Rosier said he could bet on it,' Lucille started. 'Said he heard it from Black himself and he isn't the person to make things up.'

'And if he saved me what?' I asked annoyed.

They all made huge eyes at me.

'It would change things. It would demand some explanation, don't you think?'

'Goodness, you think people should let each other die for the sake of reputation?' I asked exasperated.

'Who said anything about that? It's just strange he would do that because Riddle never helped anyone. Don't you think it would be more reasonable to believe he wouldn't care for someone's welfare?' Bridget interrupted.

'Yes, okay, but in crucial moments you don't think about that,' I protested.

'So you think then that he's capable of that?' Victoria asked.

'He might as well be…' I said, putting a hand to my head in confusion. 'But that doesn't necessarily make him a better person. Just a normal one.'

'How so?' Lucille inquired.

'Well, I read once in a book that Rousseau claimed that the barbarians, the first people to dwell on Earth, led themselves by two instincts, that of self-preservation and pity towards others. I guess he might have acted on instinct. It's the primal one.'

The girls remained quiet and thought about what I said for some time.

'Who is this Rousseau fellow anyway?' Bridget asked at length.

'Oh, he is a French philosopher,' I said simply.

'Is he a wizard?' Victoria asked.

'No, I don't think so.'

'I thought only wizards were philosophers,' Catherine said.

'That's not true. Muggles have some great ideas you know. They are very intelligent people,' I said, baffled that these girls were this prejudiced and narrow-minded.

'Hm. We'll have to take your word for it, we can't know,' Lucille said pensively.

I rolled my eyes and tried to contain my irritation.

'So you think Riddle acted on instinct? His instinct was to pity you?' Victoria asked.

'I don't know, probably.'

'I heard he was very wounded,' Bridget said. 'He was lucky Dumbledore was there.'

I wanted to scream that he had been lucky_ I _was there, but it only made me feel more ashamed to admit that I been the one to stop his death.

* * *

During Potions class, I swore that Greta Goyle kept glaring at me. I turned my head to look at her and she didn't even bother to hide her sneer. It was more like a very ugly leer. The day before she had told me that because of me Riddle had had to risk his life!

I almost laughed in her face. Obviously she was mental, but she claimed that his saving me was the reason he was so injured. I was amazed at how people distorted the story.

Everyone was very curious about me, naturally. Vicky and the girls doubted that things were as simple as I had put them and I couldn't blame them. All the students in the castle probably had an opinion on what had happened. Maybe some thought that we were both some insane sociopaths who had gone into the Forest to do some evil bidding. I heard that some thought we were Grindenwald's spies.

I could see the Slytherins were trying hard to find a logical reason for Riddle saving me, but since there wasn't any, they suspected there was an underlying motive, maybe a sinister liaison between me and that git.

Malfoy, Nott and Avery probably thought the same thing, since they seemed to be more distant towards me and not so eager to harass me with pointless little pranks anymore.

At least there was one good thing coming out of this entire mess, because everything else was to my disadvantage. I had been given eight detentions and Dumbledore had held a very long talk to me about the importance of respecting school rules. He had also asked me about the recent rumours.

'I hope you will tell me the truth Miss Greystone. I hope Mr. Riddle hasn't _persuaded _you to tell me any lies. The circumstances are very incriminating.'

Well, that came as a surprise.

'What lies, Sir?'

'Mr. Riddle cannot be trusted, as you well know. The incident in the forest remains a question mark for me. His foolish gesture of battling those wizards by himself is unlike him. That is why I hope you will not hide anything from me, Miss Greystone.'

'Well, Sir, I believe...' I began. I wanted to choose my words wisely. I wanted to try telling him again that Riddle was actually planning on joining that sad lot.

Yet again I opened my mouth, but my throat felt constricted. I tried saying something but I felt a sharp pain in my neck, like I had swollen needles. It was the scar. It was burning.

'Yes?' Dumbledore asked.

'The gesture was unlike himself, but I don't know why he did it,' I said rapidly, trying to get rid of the pain. My scar kept on burning with a passion.

'Did he really protect you from Grindenwald and his men?' he asked.

'Yes,' I answered.

'And did he harm you in any way?'

My mouth begged to say yes, because there had been times when he had caused me pain, but the scar stopped me from saying anything and I just shook my head.

'Miss Greystone, are you under a charm? Are you using your own judgement?' he asked worried as he put a hand over mine.

'Yes, of course I am!' I said pulling my hand away. 'I'm under no curse.'

'Then can I trust your answers?'

'Yes, Sir.'

In the back of my head, my little voice kept telling me that, ethically speaking, I could say I had done the right thing by saving him. My other voice, the one that was stable and rational told me I should drag Riddle back in the forest and let him have his fate, because we all knew he deserved that. He deserved to die for what he was doing. Even if he hadn't become Voldemort yet, he was doing horrible things. This scar was one of them. He deliberately silenced me, I knew it. He deliberately chained me with his foul tricks.

And yet, that voice in my head, the stupid one, said that I had been ethical.

But now, as I was sitting next to him in Potions class, I felt I had really wasted a spell on him, that I had wasted my time on him.

I wasn't expecting gratitude, but I was expecting something. Everyone knew he had saved me (add or take some stupid, far-fetched details to it) and I supposed he had spread the rumour himself. But no one seemed to know the other side of the story; about me saving him.

It didn't bother me, but I had hoped _he_ would at least acknowledge it, but I soon realized he wasn't going to do that.

He was going to sit there and pretend nothing had happened. I wished I could rub it in his face; the fact that I had been right about him joining those people.

He was reading some instructions from the textbook so I took the chance to sneak a glance at him. I thought he would look back, but he didn't.

When we started working, he kept his eyes on the cauldron or on the plants. He was almost avoiding me, I think. Did he feel uncomfortable? I really hoped so. Maybe he felt ashamed that I had saved him.

'Pass that flask, will you?' he said.

I grabbed the vial and turned in such a way that he would be obliged to look at me. And he did. He smiled indifferently and took the vial.

'So, you're not going to say anything?'

Either the question startled him, or I had interrupted an important chain of thoughts. Either way, he wasn't expecting me to talk.

'About what?'

'You know about what. The whole school is talking. Well, they're talking about you saving me, for which I thanked you, if you remember. But you on the other hand… Did it somehow slip your mind that you were on the verge of dying and I saved your pointless life? I didn't hear anyone gossip about that.'

He placed a bowl in my hands and our fingers touched slightly. I shrank back.

'You didn't seem too happy about doing the saving, so I decided I'd best let you be the damsel and me the brave knight. It worked better that way.'

'Are you serious?! You care so much about what people think that you've willingly hidden that? But I guess I shouldn't be surprised; it would ruin your reputation and no one would take you seriously anymore,' I spat. 'I can't believe I wasted my wand on the likes of you.'

His smile widened in that lugubrious way that reminded me of the Cheshire cat.

'Of course no one should know about you saving me. It would weaken my command over my people. But do you want my gratitude or do you want to be acknowledged by everyone? It seems to me that you're seeking glory.'

'I'm not seeking glory! I just thought maybe you'd show some appreciation.'

'I thought you wasted your wand on me. Why would you want my appreciation?'

'Ugh, because it's what normal people do. I saved your life,' I underlined.

'If what you seek is my appreciation it means that you want to be praised for your act of kindness. I didn't ask for _your_ appreciation.'

'But you told everyone you saved me!'

'I had to tell Dumbledore something that would make him think I'm half-decent. I wasn't in the best of situations. After all, I was the one who had decided to go to the Forbidden Forest. It seems he was more than suspicious after_ you_ told him you followed me in the forest because I was "up to no good" 'he said between gritted teeth. 'But Dumbledore's always been suspicious of me. I couldn't exactly risk it after...well, after last year,' he said smiling. 'I just told him I had protected you from the attackers. Slughorn found out about it and that man can never keep his mouth shut.'

'Oh…' I said awkwardly. I felt like a fool after almost jumping his neck. 'So you didn't want people to find out you saved me?'

'Do you think that would prove to be an advantage?' he asked, as he stirred the liquid in the cauldron.

I shook my head annoyed.

'Why did you even bother to save me? Was it pity?' I asked.

'No. Not really. Pity is for the weak,' he said coolly.

'Then?'

'I liked the way you called my name,' he said simply.

'The way I called your name?' I repeated.

'Yes. You called me as if I was the only thing left in your life, the last remnant of your existence. As if I was the centre of your thoughts. I was quite taken aback when I heard that sound. I had never heard anything like it before. It came straight from the heart. Almost as enticing as an Imperius, don't you think?'

'I don't believe you, you are just trying to disgust me with some morbid reason, but it doesn't work you see,' I said facing him. 'This far-fetched explanation won't change things. You can't admit that you felt pity and you did this one selfless thing.'

Before I knew it, my small fingers were caught in his smooth hand. A vice grip held them in place. I felt they were going to break, but I stifled any sound of pain. I looked into his eyes without betraying any fear.

'I know that you and all the females on the planet have it in your heads that people like me actually hide a very soft, gentle, romantic side that will shine through in the right moments.'

'B-believe me, I think no such thing,' I muttered.

'It would be nice if you got that out of your mind, because unlike some idiots in this world, I do grasp the concept of power. And power has nothing to do with inclinations or feelings. Power is a pure, categorical concept. I am drawn to power, more than most people. So, when you call my name, begging me, giving me more power, why shouldn't I take it?'

I shook my head and pulled my hand away with all my strength, but I couldn't feel my fingers anymore.

'You'd be happier if someone killed you instead of saving you,' I spat.

'It's the likelier circumstance. You may think we are even, but I didn't call your name when death was imminent. I was ready to accept my end with dignity. I was ready to die alone. That is not to say_, Jane_, that I do not feel inclined to reward you for your thoughtless gesture.'

I squinted my eyes in pain as I fell in the chair next to him.

'I am sincerely _touched _that a person I have humiliated and harmed can be this selfless,' he continued. 'But it also makes me laugh, because despite my abuses, you let this little thing called conscience guide you. How very pathetic. You couldn't even watch me die. I _allowed_ you to live, but you just _offered _life to me. Maybe in the future you should rethink your actions.'

'You should have died,' I said darkly, my curls falling over my face. He pulled them away gently.

'The world would have been a better place, I know, It is a pity I don't care about the world,' Riddle said smiling.

'But don't fret, little _Jane_, I will reward you for your sincere altruism. I promise.'

With that he opened my palm and kissed it.

Though my fingers were very numb, I felt my blood running wild, up to my brain and down to my heart.

He placed the knife in my hand.

'Your turn to chop,' he said closing my fingers on the blade.

* * *

After serving detention with Slughorn I felt more than exhausted when I reached the dorm. All I wanted to do was to throw myself on the bed and never wake up.

However, just as I sat down on the soft mattress, something caught my eye. I opened a book that was lying in my trunk and I discovered the parchments I had taken from the library. I hadn't bothered to look over them these past few days. Too much had happened.

I unrolled them and placed them in my lap. I looked over them a couple of times before grabbing my quill. I dipped it into a pot of ink on the floor and wrote on the parchment.

_Reveal yourself, _I wrote.

The writing vanished. I almost dropped my quill in fright. A sudden dreaded suspicion made my stomach twist. These pages were exactly like those from Tom Riddle's diary, weren't they?

But my biggest shock came when a line of smooth letters appeared on the parchment.

_Who calls?_

My entire body was shaking like it was a feather, but I managed to grasp the quill again.

_A Slytherin, _I wrote. It was the safest thing to put down in any case.

_How did you find me?_

Was this really Riddle?

Was it really him playing this sinister joke?

It couldn't be him, could it?

How could he put his memories in the diary when he was just living them?

_Who are you? _ I wrote.

I wasn't expecting him to answer.

_Salazar Slytherin. _


	7. Déjà Vu

**Hey everyone! It's insane but here I am, updating again even though I have so much homework and stuff to study! I guess I'm addicted to writing or Tom Riddle or this story or your wonderful reviews! Most likely all at the same time. Thanks a bunch _Bre_ for the nice review, I'm happy you liked the chapter and as you can see I did kind of ignore some of my needs and wrote another chapter. Thanks so much to everyone for reviewing and reading, keep being awesome! **

**I hope you enjoy the chapter. I am in two minds about it. I like some parts a lot (vanity talking). Oh and I love the song for this chapter. I love all songs, but I really get a kick out of listening to this one. Anyway, leave a comment after you read:)**

*

_Arms and legs in between_  
_ Caught inside a stupid dream_  
_ Look for her, but cannot see_  
_ I give up, I give up_  
_ There's no time to believe_

_ I'm paralyzed. I'm paralyzed_  
_ Stuck in the middle_  
_ And I'm paralyzed_  
_ I'm paralyzed. I'm paralyzed_  
_ The only way to cope_  
_ Is to realize_

Rock Kills Kid - Paralyzed

*

Chapter 7: Déjà Vu

_That cannot be, _I wrote in a fury.

_But I am he. I am the memory of the great Salazar Slytherin. I am the founder of your House, I am sure you know. _

I stuck my head under my pillow like a scared child that had had an awful nightmare. I actually wanted to call for my mother. I shut my eyes tight imagining I was hallucinating. Maybe all this stress had made me delusional and I was seeing some very odd Slytherin-related things. Surely, Salazar Slytherin hadn't just answered to me. He is _dead._ He has been dead for over centuries and not even his great power could preserve his memory in some parchments for so long. These horrifying documents would have been discovered by _someone_ at Hogwarts. How come I had been the one to find them? Had they been lying there all this time? It was impossible.

I didn't dare lift my head to look at the parchment again. I didn't want to write anymore or see that insidious, harrowing writing appear on the paper. It just made everything seem so real.

I was so exhausted that even though I was very frightened, I managed to fall asleep.

The following morning, when I woke up, I found the parchments on the floor. I stuffed them in my trunk and locked it tight, fearing that they would somehow come to life and harm me. But they were already alive, so to speak. These weren't any ordinary parchments. That was clear.

But if Tom Riddle's diary had similar pages in it, then it must mean one thing: Tom Riddle eventually discovered these parchments and used them. I couldn't fathom _how_ he had managed to put his own memory in those pages. He had been faced with his own ancestor, his own kin. How had he removed Salazar's memory and put his own? Was it some sort of bonds relatives had?

My head was swimming in an ocean of mad notions. I needed coffee badly. And I also needed a pillow to carry around and squeeze whenever I felt I was going bonkers. I also wanted Harry and Ron to comfort me and tell me everything was alright, but last time I had seen them, Ron had been, well, unconscious and Harry was running to battle a mad sociopath who, coincidentally, was probably sleeping some feet away from me. If you added all these things up the result would be null, absurd, a paradox. The more I tried making sense of this situation, the more I realized it didn't have any sense. Much like life, really. When does life make any sense for that matter? But I refused to believe this was _my_ life. I had another life, back in _my _time, with my family and_ my_ friends.

Jane Greystone was another life.

In addition to being scared to death by having suddenly contacted Salazar Slytherin I noticed the scar still hadn't disappeared. Plenty of time had passed and the bloody thing was still there, scorching my skin. In fact, it was even more visible now. In a strange way, it reminded me of Harry's scar. I wondered if Voldemort always left his sign on people. He had given Harry a scar, now me. I wondered how many other people had a sign from him. Of course, Harry's scar held a more profound connection. Probably because the circumstances had been much more special. But in my case, what was really happening? Was I really under his spell, under his domination as Dumbledore had put it?

I didn't want to think that my actions were led by someone else, but I couldn't elude the truth; I was being controlled in a way.

And I was very frustrated and angry about it. I wanted to throw Riddle off a cliff and watch him scream in agony as he hit the ground and smashed his bones.

What right did he have to do this to people? How much longer would people take this from him? Would no one teach this prat a lesson?

That time in Dumbledore's office, I couldn't tell him what Riddle was really intending and I knew I wouldn't be able to talk about the scar either. He had me where he wanted. He could do practically anything and I couldn't use teachers or some form of authority to stop him. You had to fight this bastard on your own.

But everyone has a weakness. Even he has a weakness.

And that would be the Chamber of Secrets.

I know about it, but he doesn't know what I know exactly.

I think he was angry, because if he doesn't know what I know,_ he can't shut me up_.

That must be it, that must be his secret. That is where his power stops and mine begins. It's all about knowledge in the end. It's all about the limits of my knowledge and his.

I'd best work on my Occlumency from now on, unless I want to lose the_ only_ advantage I might have over him.

* * *

I almost cut my finger during Care of Magical Creatures. I was immersed in my thoughts on those bloody parchments and I didn't really see what I was chopping. Luckily, Lucille nudged me and I looked up just in time to spare my pinkie. The weather was dreadful. Sitting outside, on some uncomfortable benches, while the wind swooped up my robes and chopping some unfriendly, yellow worms was not my idea of a fun class.

And if you are wondering what I was doing here, I should let you know that apparently, back then, this subject was mandatory, even after fourth year.

I quickly realized that the reason for this was that the Ministry didn't have such a firm grip on all magical creatures and some very dangerous ones were still unchecked and on the loose in public areas which meant we had to be prepared to face them at all times.

After the teacher gave us more instructions, I went back to my previous thoughts, once again ignoring the safety of my fingers.

What would I do with those pages? Should I write back again to find out more about Slytherin? Or should I just take them to Headmaster Dippet or Dumbledore? The logical thing to do was the latter, but I had to admit I was rather curious about those parchments and I didn't want to hand them over right away. I would eventually, of course I would, just not yet. I told myself I should check first whether or not they weren't some sort of forgery. I still thought it was impossible for them to have survived. But I knew the obvious thing to do was to report them. Would I change the lines of time? Most likely. If those pages were really going to be Tom Riddle's diary then I would prevent that bloody thing from ever existing! If I were that lucky, Ginny's suffering would be prevented as well.

Oh, what a wonderful thing that would be!

'Ach!' I yelped in pain and backed away from the table. I hadn't chopped anything, but my hands were yellow. I saw how some red dots were starting to spread on my skin.

'Miss Greystone!' the teacher hollered at me, looking very red. 'For the thousandth time, cut the skin gently! Now look what has happened! The poison has spread over your skin!'

I realized that I had cut off the worm's head and a yellow liquid had poured down my fingers.

'Mudblood can't seem to do anything right, eh?' someone sniggered in the back.

I rose from the table dejected and tried wiping the liquid with my wand.

'You need to go to the Infirmary! Mr. Riddle, do accompany Miss Greystone!' the teacher said curtly.

I groaned internally as I saw him walk towards me with that obscure expression on his face.

'Why you?' I muttered annoyed.

'I'm a Prefect, that's why,' he stated, matter-of-factly.

I sighed and I walked next to him towards the castle. I was not sure whether I fully hated him or not, but I was getting there. How could anyone like him? It was a very normal reaction.

We stepped inside and started climbing the stairs when I suddenly felt very dizzy. It was like a veil was cast over my eyes and my vision was distorted. I also felt nauseous, to the point where I was sure I'd drop on my knees and empty the contents of my stomach all over the floor.

I held onto the rail, but I was made even sicker when I looked down and saw the stairs were moving.

Riddle apparently noticed my distress, because he was looking at me like I was an interesting animal, or plant that he was examining.

My knees were buckling. I lowered my head and started coughing loudly.

Before I fell, I felt a pair of strong arms catch me and encircle my waist.

I looked up and saw I was in his arms, partially. My hands were folded over his chest. I actually felt his heart beating. I thought he didn't have a heart.

His eyes were blue again. I could swear they changed from blue to grey in different moments.

'I'm fine, I don't need help,' I muttered. My head was spinning.

'I could let you lie on the stairs, but you would eventually fall and break your neck,' he said seriously. 'And then I would be blamed. I don't like being blamed for these things.'

'Oh, wouldn't want that,' I said rolling my eyes.

He was staring at me in a very uncomfortable way, like he had just remembered something. His brows were furrowed and his eyes showed he was deep in thought. He looked over my face, as if he was trying to find something.

I had no idea what was going on, but we were unusually close and I didn't like it one bit.

But I soon realized why he was so immersed in his thoughts.

I suddenly felt the feeling too, whatever it was, it was a feeling of _déjà vu_.

And just like him, I realized I was looking at his face as well and I was searching for something too. I didn't know what exactly I was looking for and it frustrated me because I wanted to know. I could have guessed this was why he was frustrated as well. But what was it? What was it that I needed to know? It was just Riddle.

Our lips were closed in concentration and our faces looked eager to discover something.

My hands reached up to his neck as his touched mine too and we felt the veins pulsing there.

But I still felt very faint, so I dropped my gaze and he dropped his.

'I think I'm fine now,' I told him quietly. He let me go and I walked a couple of steps.

'We have been here before,' he spoke.

'Yes, we walk these steps every day,' I said but he shook his head. My stomach made a strange sound and I dropped down and vomited on the stairs.

* * *

At lunch, I sat down at my usual place but I didn't feel like eating at all. After all the medicine I had to take in the Infirmary all I wanted to do was drink a lot of water, which had been recommended. I think I emptied four glasses of water and two of pumpkin juice when Bridget and Catherine popped next to me with their plates full of food that made my face turn blue.

'I guess it's nice Riddle helped you after all,' they started.

I almost spat my pumpkin juice.

'They're all being very decent with you, aren't they?' Bridget asked, bobbing her head in an odd way.

'I suppose...'

'But you know, they're suspicious. They think you're no good. I mean Riddle would probably save someone just as bad as him, right Bridget?' Catherine started.

'Right, at least I think it's right,' she said nodding unsure. 'Not that we think you're evil or anything. We think you're harmless. Aren't you?'

For a moment there I felt like laughing. If these girls had had red hair and freckles they would have reminded me of Fred and George any day.

'I'm not dangerous,' I said rolling my eyes. 'But that doesn't mean I can't defend myself.'

'Did we say you couldn't defend yourself?'

I sighed. 'What do you want?'

'We were wondering if you are going.'

'Going where?'

'Don't you know? First Hogsmeade weekend.'

Oh, _that_. I doubted I would find a Time-Turner there, but it was worth a try, of course.

'I might,' I answered gulping down another glass.

'Who are you going with?' Bridget asked, smiling wily.

'No one. I don't think anyone would want me in their crowd.'

'You're right about that, but we'd be willing to let you stay with us,' Catherine said.

'We're going shopping. Would you mind tagging along?'

'No…I probably need to buy some things as well.'

'Oh, we're not buying school supplies. Were you going to do that?'

'Yes…I suppose.'

'Well, see we're not doing that,' Bridget repeated shaking her head. 'It's very tedious.'

'We're going to buy some new dresses, for the Halloween party,' Catherine said.

'Halloween party?' I wondered.

I didn't remember any time Hogwarts had had an actual party on Halloween. It was just a nice dinner, that was all.

'Yes, silly. Slytherins always have one on Halloween,' Bridget explained.

'Bridget, don't tell her that! What if she can't come? Sorry, but you know, maybe you won't be invited, considering...' Catherine drifted off, looking almost apologetic.

'What she means is that some people will not want you there. But you should come either way,' Bridget insisted.

'Maybe you shouldn't, because you won't feel comfortable if some don't want you there. Not that they are right, or anything, but you must understand them,' Catherine said awkwardly.

I was starting to think these girls had been raised in a green house, away from any human contact or interaction.

'So what do you say?' they both asked at the same time. It was as if they were two heads of the same plant. It was rather intimidating.

'I…I don't know, I probably won't come,' I said. 'But I'd like to come with you to Hogsmeade.'

'Brilliant,' they said in unison, but they didn't sound very enthusiastic.

* * *

When I returned to my dorm that night, I realized Gwendolyn's cage was empty. I had improvised a small little house for her above my bed. She seemed to like it very much and rewarded me with some very pleasant chirping sometimes. She had been a comfort to me these past days and I was growing very fond of her.

I looked for her everywhere but I couldn't find her.

'Victoria, have you seen Gwendolyn?' I asked concerned.

'Who?'

'My little bird pet.'

She threw me an 'are you insane?' look before shaking her head.

'She was here. I left her there this morning. Has she flown away?'

'There's no window. But she might have fled through the door,' Victoria explained.

'I'll go check.'

'You might want to cover that,' she said pointing at my red hands.

I opened my trunk to get some gloves to cover the rash, when I suddenly noticed a bunch of yellow feathers. One of my scarves was smeared with blood.

I drew back in horror.

I pulled the scarf away and I saw something between the parchments.

It was Gwendolyn. She was dead.

She had been crushed between the pages. But there was no stain of blood on them. Only my little bird was covered in blood.

I knelt horrified and I took her small body in my hands.

How could those pages have done that? It was just paper! How could they have killed a living thing? I thought I had locked my trunk.

What horrible force was guiding those parchments?

I started weeping silently and held Gwendolyn to my chest.

I cleaned her and put her in my shoe box.

I then grabbed a pair of scissors and started cutting the parchments. But alas, they seemed to stick back together even if I cut them into tiny, little pieces.

I took my wand and set them on fire, but it was like fire burning stone. It did nothing to them. I tried some spells I knew in order to destroy them, but nothing worked.

Finally, I sat down on the bed and wrote angrily.

_Why did you kill my bird? _

I waited for his answer. A smooth line of writing appeared, almost mocking me. _  
_

_I was hungry for blood. I was weak. _

_You monster! _

_Monster? I hardly think so. I must admit I was offended that you ignored me and had the audacity to lock me up in this dark place. _

_You deserve to be destroyed._

_You are acting on your feelings now. That bird would die eventually. Everything does._

_Then why aren't__** you**__ dead? _

_Some things die in order for others to stay alive._

_Is that your philosophy? _

_Darwin's actually._

_I thought you didn't bother with muggles, what with your absurd rule of admitting only purebloods in the school, _I wrote furious.

_I never said I had something against muggles. I only had something against muggles who pretended to be like us. _

_Us? There is no us. We are all people._

_That is a stupid idea. Discrimination is necessary, _he wrote.

_Not the kind you apply. Your discrimination is corrupted. It is a vested interest. _

_Why are you so against my policies? Didn't you say you are in Slytherin? _

_Yes, but I am Muggleborn._

There was a pause before the writing appeared.

_Muggleborn, in Slytherin. That old Hat should be burnt. _

_This goes to show your pure house isn't all that pure. I am just as capable as anyone else. Muggleborns aren't and will **never** be inferior. _

_Sometimes mistakes occur, _he wrote. _There are some exceptions. There are some…_

_Some?_

_Rowena was Muggleborn as well. _

_Rowena? Rowena Ravenclaw? _I wrote baffled.

But there was no answer from the parchments. I wrote to him asking to tell me how he had kept himself in those papers for so long, but again the page remained blank.

I groaned in frustration and wiped my dry tears.

I was probably insane. I was talking to Salazar Slytherin about his school policy and Rowena Ravenclaw.

How I wanted to see Ron and Harry! How I missed my parents!

* * *

That night I couldn't sleep at all. I couldn't even sit in my own bed. I thought it was smeared with blood. I snuck downstairs with a book. I had hoped the common room would be empty so that I could have one night to myself and it was. The fire was almost dying. I sat on the couch and opened my book.

Only after some moments did I realize that someone was sitting in an armchair. The light didn't reach him. He was sitting on my left and he seemed to be sleeping.

It was Black.

I thought I should leave, but just then he opened his eyes. He saw me and he opened his mouth to say something but I pleaded him with my eyes to be quiet.

He rose slowly and came towards me. My wand was already in my hand. If he tried anything I would be ready. But he just sat down next to me.

I wanted to rush out of there, but when I looked at his face, I saw he was very sad. Something told me to stay even if it wasn't safe.

He looked down at my hands and smiled a bit.

'They're not in a very good state.'

I hid them embarrassed, but he pulled my arms gently and took my hands in his.

I wondered with fright whether he was still possessed by Riddle.

My hands started trembling involuntarily.

'Are you really Black?' I asked.

He looked at me seriously, then he nodded his head.

He took out his wand. I almost pulled my hands away, but then I saw he was trying to heal them.

'I'm working to become a mediwizard,' he said.

The red spots didn't all go away but the itching subsided, if only a little. My hands felt better.

'Um…thank you,' I whispered.

He nodded absently.

'Why would you help me?'

He shrugged his shoulders. 'Why not? You are a Slytherin.'

'Even if I'm Muggleborn?'

'You're a Slytherin,' he repeated.

I was truly surprised. I had thought that a follower of Voldemort would be more biased than a fascist.

'Yes, I guess I am,' I told him.

He nodded and patted my hand. After that he got up and yawned.

'Good night,' he said absent-mindedly.

'Good night…' I whispered.

I turned around to watch him leave, but then I saw someone looking at me from the stairs that led to my dorm.

It was Victoria. And she didn't look happy.


	8. Sore Feet

**All I can say is that I wasn't planning on updating but I got the Wednesday blues (yeah, I just invented that) and I decided to write. Thanks a bunch to all you guys who take time to read and review this story, you rock and you know it**! **Thanks to the anonymous reviewers _Bre_ and _Oola_ as well for leaving those awesome comments. And Bre, in answer to your question, Salazar isn't exactly old here, you'll see. **

**I proof-read the chapter, but maybe a mistake slipped because I'm kind of impatient sometimes which is bad but I hope the writing is okay. Do let me know though. Anyway, I'll leave you read the chapter now. This song from Dido is one of those songs that define Hermione and Tom's relationship. **

*

_I'm gonna have to run away_  
_I'm sure that I belong some other place_  
_And I've seen another side of all I've seen_  
_It keeps me wondering where my family is_

_It's hard enough to see the world as it is and hold on anything_  
_Without these quiet times coming round here_

_Now I miss you and I want you_  
_But I can't have you even when you're here_

Dido - Quiet Times

*

Chapter 8: Sore Feet

'God, you read so much into this!' I almost yelled in frustration. For the past ten minutes I had tried explaining to Victoria that I harboured no secret love for Black (or any other Slytherin for that matter), that I didn't want to have his babies, or see him naked, or go on a date with him.

'He had just offered to help! What was I supposed to do?'

'He is a very troubled person and you bother him with your little nonsense! Don't you know anything?'

'I didn't bother him with anything, I didn't even see him there!'

'Right. You're telling me you deliberately went downstairs to sit in front of the fire alone – '

'And read!' I interrupted.

'But you didn't know Black was there and you didn't want to sit with him?' she continued undeterred.

All these Slytherin girls were huge, spoilt babies that got up in your face for the smallest thing like say, a broken nail.

I knew Victoria cared about Black, more than she wanted to admit most likely, but I wasn't going to excuse her for that. This had been just a casual meeting and she was blowing it out of proportions. I had other things to worry about than her nagging, like the fact that I had some very nasty parchments in my possession.

'Everyone saves you all of a sudden,' she remarked rather stiffly. 'Have you noticed that?'

'Excuse me?'

'You know what I mean. First Riddle – and don't try denying it-, now Black. I'm pretty sure that jerk Malfoy will soon swoop down to remove a speck of dust from your robes.'

'I wouldn't let that tosser even touch my robes! This is ridiculous and you know it!'

'Do I?' she asked skeptically.

Clearly I wasn't going to get a good night sleep, not that I could sleep before either. Victoria followed me to my bed and did not let me close an eye until I told her off properly. She stormed out scandalized and promised not to talk to me. She didn't say she would never talk to me again, which sort of assuaged me.

But I was on the verge of bursting into tears either of laughter or of grief, or both. I was emotionally exhausted. I had no ounce left to protest or to defend myself. I had no ounce of strength left to really smile.

It wasn't because Hogwarts was giving me a hard time, because I could get used to that, but I couldn't live without my parents and my friends. I just couldn't live another day without hugging mum or seeing Ron smile. I wanted to talk to Harry and cry on Ginny's shoulder. I even wanted to see Parvati and Lavender, I swear I did. I wanted to gossip with them all night long. I wanted to wake up in my own bed at home and eat waffles with my family.

When would I see them? How could I survive without them? I desperately wanted some form of affection. I was used to that and now I was like a lost puppy that had been abandoned in the street.

Albeit it could've been worse, although I don't really see how. Maybe I was supposed to be grateful but I couldn't find the strength to do that.

I wondered if this was actual fate, if my destiny led to my coming here and having this mind-boggling, life-threatening experience. How could destiny be so screwed up? What did I have to do with Riddle and the forties? Why me for God's Sake? Why so far in the past? Why couldn't it have settled for two hours instead of fifty years?

I had already asked myself these questions numerous times, but every night I just asked them again, hoping I'd get an answer.

That night, I dreamt I was making a little crown of flowers. I was standing in a yellow field, at dusk. I had no idea what the dream meant but I woke up even more tired than before and I remembered Victoria kind of hated me right now.

Fantastic.

At breakfast she avoided me like I was the plague. Lucille whispered to me that I would have to fix things on my own because none of them could make Vicky talk to me, or even accept my excuses. It was very hard for me to find a moment to talk to her, though.

It was a busy day with lots of classes and homework. I tried catching her alone on the corridors but she was hiding well somewhere. When I saw her in class, she looked a bit sad. Maybe she regretted our fight, but if she did, she kept very silent about it.

That afternoon I had a bit of a nice encounter. I met with Mary Finnigan again. The pimples on her face had almost vanished entirely We hadn't seen each other since the incident in the girls' bathroom and she was happy to run into me. We talked for a bit and she expressed a wish to see me in Hogsmeade. The way things were going for me (Victoria and her lot were giving me the cold shoulder), I gladly accepted her company.

'I'll introduce you to some of my house mates. They won't believe you're in Slytherin! Well, they won't believe a Slytherin helped me. But I think they'll like you. They're not as prejudiced as Slytherins, I can assure you.'

'I'd be happy to meet them.'

I wondered if I would meet any of my friends' parents or grandparents. That would be downright freaky. Just speaking with Finnigan's grandma was weird enough, imagine a whole bunch of dead relatives in the Gryffindor common room.

We walked around the castle some more and I was finally feeling a little bit better with a friendly person at my side, when a student that looked like a Prefect popped out of nowhere and told me I was wanted in the Headmaster's office.

That always got me queasy. Seeing Dippet never meant good news in my book. I always dreaded that they'd find some evidence that I was lying about my identity. I was almost certain Dumbledore didn't believe half of my story. I was waiting for him to come out with some revealing fact and send me packing from the school with a note attached to my back "Do not trust her". It didn't happen, but the fact that he wasn't doing anything about it made me feel very insecure. I felt he was watching me, observing me. Maybe he wanted me to come tell him the truth. He'd have to wait then.

'We always get interrupted,' Mary said. 'But we'll catch up this weekend, won't we? And maybe you'll tell me more about yourself.'

I would probably have to feed her the same story. I was going to have to write it down so I wouldn't confuse any detail. Wouldn't want to make a stupid mistake that could cost me plenty just because I can't remember my own "life story".

I stepped into the Headmaster's office with some reluctance and I sat on the seat in front of his desk.

He was, by the looks of it, looking through some dusty files in a corner.

'Ah, Miss Greystone. I am glad you could come. I would like to discuss something with you.'

I waited patiently for him to sit down, but he just continued browsing through the documents.

After ten minutes, I coughed loudly.

He looked up, blinked several times and then shook his head.

'Oh, yes, of course.'

He came towards me, dusting off his hands. He picked up a little silver thermometer that was placed in a tall mug on his desk and inspected it for a while.

'Miss Greystone,' he began at length, 'since the beginning of the year, I have been following your scholastic progress with some care. I wanted to make sure that you would be able to manage with the heavy work load and the schedule. It seems I shouldn't have worried. You proved to be an excellent student and a very conscientious pupil. Now, as to your behaviour, I cannot quite condone_ that_. Here, it is a different story. Playing hero with Mr. Riddle in the Forbidden Forest was _sheer_ lunacy, if I may say so myself. No matter your noble intentions of helping the school, taking on Grindelwald means that you are either reckless or insane.

However, I must admit it was an act of courage and I was mildly impressed with your bravery. I was expecting Mr. Riddle to break the rules and pull such a scheme, but I wasn't expecting _you_ to join in the "heroic movement". Hogwarts is of course a new experience to you so you probably took this affair lightly, but I must warn you, sneaking off into the Forbidden Forest is_ highly_ punishable. For every student. That is why you and Mr. Riddle were punished. Maybe you were expecting praise, but no one can possibly praise two impulsive youths who put their lives in danger. Still, the Ministry did hear of this feat of bravery and expressed a certain admiration for our school. That did please me.'

He stopped again and turned around to look at the father clock behind him.

I had no idea where this speech was going. I just felt ridiculous, sitting there, being praised and chided at the same time, when the real bastard was running around, doing whatever he pleased. He was considered a hero. I had joined him so that put me in a good light as well.

But I didn't want any glory! Being put in the same pot with him was like being called a culprit. He was the one who had wanted to join those people. I had tried to stop him.

In fact, even if it sounded pretentious, _I _was the_ only_ hero.

Dippet was about to speak again. When he talked, he had a way of gesticulating, like he wanted to grip the idea. He was an amusing fellow.

'After analyzing things thoroughly I came to a pleasing conclusion, Miss Greystone. You see, I would like to give you some merit for your help and I discovered the best way to do so. You are probably aware that the current Slytherin Prefect is Greta Goyle. I am afraid to say I am starting to regret the choice I made. I thought she was responsible and mature, but I see she is a very impressionable girl and runs away with her feelings. She is rather rash and does not perform her duties as I would like.'

Oh, no. I knew where he was going. Oh, no, no, no. As much as I liked being a Prefect in real life, in this world my partner would be the sunshine of my life, Tom Riddle. No.

'She's not very committed, you understand I am sure. And Mr. Riddle has complained about her several times and I wouldn't like my team of Prefects to have a hard time fulfilling their duties due to such misunderstandings. And I thought to myself, why Miss Greystone and Mr. Riddle made quite a team when they were faced with danger, didn't they? So you see, Miss Greystone, I realized the best way to deal with this was to make some changes.'

'You mean…'

'As of Monday, I am afraid Miss Goyle will no longer be Prefect,' he said winking at me.

'I am sure this is very good news for you,' he said beaming. He was very pleased with himself. I almost wanted to slap my head in frustration. Did this man know that his brilliant solution was actually a dreadful nightmare? Did he know anything about Riddle or was he just blindly in love with him? Someone had to snap some sense into him.

He thought I was really happy with his _solution_, because he didn't suspect that I could perhaps refuse this great delight. I don't think he would've taken refusal very well.

But I didn't have time to find out. I had just opened my mouth to counter his decision with some arguments when suddenly the chair under me disappeared and he told me he had urgent business to attend to and that he would keep me no longer.

'I just wanted to give you the good news,' he said shaking my hand. 'The badge will be given to you soon. I sometimes like to repay misbehaviour. Well, only misbehaviour that was put to good use! But let it not happen again, Miss Greystone or else I won't give you just detentions. Now off you go! Off you go!'

With that, he turned his back to me and went on with his previous task; searching through those documents.

'It was kind of you, Sir, really, but I think…' I began.

'You can discuss the details with the Head Boy, he'd be happy to help,' he said waving his hand. 'Now off you go.'

The door opened with a thud and I was welcomed out. Well, that was very ungracious.

I found myself walking to the dungeons with another big headache.

I think someone was plotting this; someone was making sure Riddle and I spent more time together. It's like someone knew I was Hermione Granger, best friend of Harry Potter, whose archenemy was Tom Riddle.

Was I part of a strange ironic circle?

I really didn't want to be Prefect. That meant patrolling with him up and down those corridors in the evening.

And all this trouble just because I bothered to be a Gryffindor? I should've been a cowardly Slytherin and stayed inside the castle that night, not run off after that sick bastard. He would have died had I not intervened like a moron.

Oh, will the guilt ever go away?

In a way, it was better he was not grateful or anything because that would make matters worse.

* * *

Saturday morning found me under the blankets, half asleep, half awake. I was thinking about Salazar Slytherin. He hadn't answered to me since that night. I had tried talking to him more, but he hadn't cooperated, especially on the subject of Rowena Ravenclaw.

Maybe she was related to a memory that was painful to him. Maybe the fact that her prized colleague and I shared something like bloodline was upsetting to him. It had been a shock to find out Rowena was Muggleborn. I had read a couple of books on the Founders and it always said there that Rowena was a Pureblood. And nothing was mentioned in relation to her and Slytherin. There was something about him admiring her intelligence, but nothing else. Maybe the books were leaving out some details, maybe they were the wrong books. Was there something more to this or was I reading in too much?

After days of him not answering I started wondering whether I was hallucinating and there was actually nothing wrong with those parchments.

I still wasn't sure this was Salazar Slytherin. I usually trusted books more and if books said Rowena was a Pureblood and he said she was Muggleborn I had the instinct to believe the written word more. Ironically, his word was written as well.

As I pondered on these pivotal subjects, I realized today was the day we'd go visit Hogsmeade.

I jumped out of bed and looked at the clock in our dorm. It was half past ten.

Goodness, it was late! I quickly took a shower, got dressed, grabbed some Sickles Headmaster Dippet had given me at the beginning of the year as a form of allowance and went down to wait in line.

I didn't manage to see Mary Finnigan but Victoria and her crowd were already outside, walking towards Hogsmeade. There were dispersed groups everywhere and I couldn't join a single one. I walked on alone, trying not to care that some people were staring at me.

It was a crisp, autumn day and the sun was shining softly, the leaves were rustling on the ground and the wind was playing in my hair, making my locks go wild all around me.

The dress I had put on and the thick stockings didn't really warm me up, but I pulled the coat around me as best as I could.

When I reached the village, my feet were feeling sore from so much walking in those shoes that weren't the least bit comfortable. Where were those bloody sneakers when you needed them?

Regardless, I trudged myself across the streets, with the hope that Mary would just run into me again. There weren't any visible changes in the village. It seemed that this place was timeless. Zonko looked a bit cleaner and the Three Broomsticks sign over the door of the pub was shinier. But beyond that…

I first decided to go hunt a Time-Turner. Yes, it was impossible to find one here, but I wasn't about to waste a chance, no matter how small. So I walked through all those quaint shops, trying to find something at least similar to it. The Potions shop was interesting as always, but quite useless unfortunately. I did buy some ingredients I thought I'd need later in the year for the potions in class and I made sure my school supplies weren't lacking. I bought a new quill, just in case, some paper and a couple of second-hand books from the pretty little Hogsmeade bookshop.

But I couldn't find a shop that gave me the hope that I could find anything like a Time-Turner. I had expected that, but I always try.

After doing some shopping, I decided to rest and maybe get a drink. I went into Three Broomsticks praying, no begging to find Mary there and the skies finally took pity on me and answered my calls.

I saw her in the middle of a big group.

I waved at her. Her entire face lit as she waved back. She called me to her table and beckoned the others to make room for me.

They all looked happy to oblige. My eyes almost filled up with tears as I thought I saw in them my old friends. The boys all looked like Harry, the girls all looked like Ginny…

I sat down next to a redhead that reminded me so much of Ron that I just had to ask whether he was a Weasley.

'Why, yes, honey, how did you spot it? Was it the eyes?' he said grinning. 'The name's Billius.'

So I was right! Now I understood why Ron was called Billius to begin with.

I felt so relieved to see a Weasley that I almost hugged him. I'm sure I seemed a little bit odd, but I didn't care.

The others were introduced to me and I shook their hands.

'This is Jane Greystone. She's the nicest Slytherin I've ever met, literally, so you'd better behave well to her,' Mary told them seriously.

'We didn't judge you when you went out with that scum, so we won't judge a nice Slytherin girl, no matter how odd the word nice next to Slytherin may sound,' a boy with perfectly well combed brown hair told her, winking at me.

I sort of guessed the scum was Riddle.

'My boyfriend, David Potter,' Mary told me, pointing at the brown-haired boy.

My mouth almost fell in shock. I took a better look at him and I recognized the defining features in Harry's face. But for the eyes, there were some clear similarities. How had I not noticed them? How?

I stared at him like he was a precious artifact.

'Hi, I'm Jane,' I told him.

'So, we hear you're a decent Slytherin. We hear you actually helped our Mary here. Does that have anything to do with you not being a pratty, stuck up Pureblood? Or a relation of Goyle?' he asked.

'Both, I guess,' I answered chuckling.

'Do hex that Goyle bint for me when you meet her. I fear the four Bat-Bogey hexes I threw her way might have not been enough. Stupid cow.'

I almost laughed. I would surely like to oblige him.

'See, this is what you get for having the least bit attraction for that Riddle prick,' he commented.

Mary looked down embarrassed. 'Stop calling him that. And can we _not_ talk about that?'

'I'll never let you off the hook for that one. Not after it almost cost you your pretty face.'

'Is that story about the Forbidden Forest true?!' a blond boy asked. 'A lot of people talk about it, but no one knows what really happened.'

Oh, I wasn't exactly ready for this.

'Well... I was there when they attacked and I saw Grindelwald's men but nothing else happened, I got back safe,' I said, flushing.

'Nothing else happened?! Give us more details!' a voice urged.

'I don't believe that tosser wanted to go be a hero,' David said. 'Riddle was probably up to no good, like always. Was he really trying to save Hogwarts?'

'I don't really know, I didn't understand his motives…' I answered, biting my tongue. The pain in my throat prevented me from answering once again. My scar was tingling.

'Probably wanted to make sure Grindelwald could attack us better. Did he make you go with him, Jane?'

'No, no way! I just wanted to help. I saw there was trouble. I guess I got a bit too impulsive. I thought I could handle it, as stupid as that sounds.'

'Wow, you went off like that to fight those people!?'

'Um, don't give me that much credit, it was a very thoughtless decision. I wouldn't advice anyone to do it.'

'Dear Lord, I think you're braver than Weasley himself,' David said. 'Isn't that right Billius? Remember your epic battle with the toothbrush in the dark?'

'Oh, shut your mouth Potter! Unless you want me to spill some stories about you talking in your sleep!'

'I'd like to see you try! But really now, Jane, that's a remarkable feat. Why the heck aren't you in Gryffindor?'

'That remains a mystery to me as well.'

'So, you really fought those men Jane?' a girl asked me.

'Kind of, but it was mostly self-defense, I mean I kept running and throwing spells in a chaotic way.'

'That's still quite something. And what did Riddle do?'

'He did the same. He kept them at a distance. We got back to the castle together after Dumbledore found us.'

'Lucky Dumbledore was there for you. But it was a very risky thing to do, very risky,' Mary said, shaking her head.

'Too bad Riddle got out of the forest safe,' David said. Mary hit him over the head.

'David! Don't ever say that! You shouldn't wish his death just because he's how he is.'

'But, come on Mary!'

I sighed. If only he knew that I was the only reason that had prevented Riddle from coming out of that forest dead.

'Do the Slytherins give you a hard time?' a girl on my right asked me.

'Well, sometimes, but I kind of don't let it affect me,' I told her nonchalantly. 'I have my own life, separate from theirs.'

Just then the doors opened and I saw a group of Slytherins enter. And I noticed that among them was Riddle.

I turned my back and changed the subject.

They sat down in our vicinity, but I tried not to take count of that.

The noise at our table engulfed every other sound in the room and I was glad I couldn't hear Riddle and his mates. I had enough of them during the week time.

'Oh, look, it's the Mudblood with her Mudlovers!' a voice was heard from their table.

'Oh, piss off Nott!' Harr- I mean David shouted but I don't think he was heard.

'Don't let that sod affect you. He's just frustrated he's got it small,' another girl told me, rolling her eyes. 'Trust me, the whole school knows.'

'Nott and his fellows are like a bunch of mini-trolls, though to their credit, the trolls smell a lot better,' Billius told me, pointing at them with disgust.

I was feeling safe where I was and I think it showed because I was smiling more than usual. I was enjoying my time with people that accepted me and didn't judge me. It was almost exhilarating to feel this after weeks of torment.

But even if I had relaxed a bit, I still felt something strange about the whole thing. Maybe it was Riddle's vicinity, I didn't know, but I felt something was amiss.

Every now and then, I snuck a peek at the other table but they weren't minding me. I couldn't see Riddle though.

At one point, the girl on my left nudged me.

'Riddle keeps staring at you,' she told me. 'Didn't you notice?'

'No, I can't see him,' I told her shakily. 'And I don't care. He may stare as he pleases.'

'But what does he mean by it? He doesn't look away. Did you upset him?'

'Everyone probably upsets him. He disapproves of me greatly. He's a great big git, so don't mind him,' I told her.

'But he keeps staring. It's a little bit intimidating. You'd better watch out for him.'

'Oh, I already do.'

After a couple of moments, when no one seemed to be looking, I turned around and looked at Riddle.

Yep, he was staring at me.

But it wasn't very obvious. He seemed to be talking to his mates. He seemed pretty relaxed too, sipping from his drink, sprawled in his seat casually, but I could see he was watching me. I couldn't exactly describe it, but it was like his face and his eyes were in different directions.

When I met his eyes I had a vision of the yellow field I had seen in my dream but I shook my head and turned away quickly, before I encouraged him to stare some more.

I wanted to go to the bathroom, but I felt it wouldn't be a good move. However, when nature calls you can't help it.

So I politely excused myself and left for the bathroom. I looked back but Riddle was still at his table. I don't know why I held the silly notion that he'd follow me.

I washed my hands vigorously and stood in front of the mirror for ages. After a while I decided to leave. I opened the door slowly and looked up and down the hallway. There was no one there.

I sighed in relief and I shut the door behind me, but when I turned around I almost yelped.

Black was walking towards me.

'Oh, hi…' I muttered.

'Greystone, hello.'

'You're going to the bathroom?'

'Yeah, there aren't a lot of things you can do here,' he said awkwardly.

'Of course. I wanted to thank you for the hands. I feel much better now.'

'You're welcome.'

'You'll be a good doctor.'

'Thanks...'

I nodded and stood there, thinking about what else to say.

'So…is that all you wanted to say?' he asked.

'Actually,' I began unsure, 'there is a small thing I'd like to tell you.'

'Yes?'

I didn't know how to say this. I had to fix that thing between me and Victoria, I just had to.

'Please come on the Seventh floor tonight at 9. It's important, please.'

He was about to protest.

'I'm not fixing a date or anything. I don't want to snog you,' I said rolling my eyes. 'But it's really important, I promise.'

He stared at me amused. He hadn't expected me to be this direct.

'Oh, I never thought you'd want to snog me,' he joked. 'Well, I'll think about it…'

'Just come!' I told him and rushed out of there, my cheeks already on fire.

Now the hard part was convincing Victoria to come to the Seventh Floor with me.

* * *

Later that afternoon, I returned to Hogwarts with the hope that by tomorrow I would be friends with Victoria again. I also remembered that Monday was my first day as a Prefect.

Bollocks.

There wasn't much to look forward to that weekend or that following week.

I was beginning to hate my shoes. I walked so slow that even though Mary had offered to accompany me I told her to go on her own or else she might miss dinner. I'd be walking for the next ten hours.

I trudged on like a sad soldier. When I looked up at the sky, I saw the clouds were rolling in.

'No, not now, really…' I pleaded.

It started raining. I was immediately soaked to the bone. I felt very cold.

When I finally passed through the Hogwarts gates I felt relieved. I saw from afar that a much younger Filch and another man I didn't know were standing at the Front Doors, taking out some hospital beds and cabinets.

I groaned and turned another way. I saw the tall arcade at the back of the castle and I rushed towards it to find shelter.

But I should have tried getting past Filch.

Tom Riddle was standing there, watching the rain.

I must have looked a funny sight, all wet and disheveled.

He seemed to be looking through me. He was fascinated by the dark clouds hovering over the ground.

When he noticed me he straightened up.

He walked up to me casually and looked me up and down.

'You are quite wet,' he remarked as he pulled a lock of my wet hair between his fingers.

For a moment, I had nothing to say. I just stood there letting him drink me in. But I snapped out of it.

'Thanks Captain Obvious,' I muttered, pushing his hand away.

'I heard we were going to be partners.'

'What?'

'Prefects, remember?'

'Yes, the news filled me with joy,' I said rolling my eyes. 'I'd much rather get five hundred detentions.'

'I think that can be managed.'

'Just stay away from me, okay?'

'You could run away from me right now. Why are you still standing here?' he asked, raising a brow.

My cheeks flushed and I turned away angrily. But then I remembered something very important.

'Actually, I have something to say to you. This stupid little trick of yours won't last much longer. The scar _will_ vanish, so don't think you can keep doing this. I will go to Saint Mungo if it's necessary.'

'No you won't,' he said amused.

'Oh, yes I will! You think you can stop me?'

'I don't have to.'

'Your powers have their limits. And I'll find them. You can't keep me quiet forever with this stupid scar!'

'I would have to disagree with you,' he said chuckling.

'No, Riddle, you know very well you can't. Just like you can't do anything about your little secret. I know it and I know more than you think.'

He looked at me intensely but I quickly sealed my mind as best as I could.

'You won't get anything from me. Because you can't have the scar make me say things you don't know yourself, can you?'

I don't know how, but we were standing close again.

He looked dead serious so I think I hit the right spot.

'The first time you used it, you made me say things you wanted to hear, things you suspected. You're a good reader that way. But your knowledge only gets you_ this_ far.'

I saw he was restraining himself from hexing me.

'My knowledge? You presume to know so much about me? I think you'll find yourself mistaken,' he said roughly. 'Very mistaken.'

'Am I?'

He didn't reply. I just stared into his blue eyes.

I could hear my ragged breath. His wasn't audible. But it was like I was breathing for him.

The sound of rain reminded me where I was.

My mind was quite empty. And I saw he was growing impatient.

I felt his hand was snaking up to grasp my arm so I stepped back and ran into the castle, just like that.

Even though my feet were killing me.


	9. Kiss and Dare

**Okay, so this is another spontaneous update:) I mean spontaneous because I was planning on posting on Sunday, but then I got the Friday Blues...yeah, I can still get away with that! Anyhoo, this chapter is a hit and miss to me. I like some parts of it, but I don't feel comfortable with others. Though I tried to make the style flow. But you'll be the judge of that:) Thanks a lot _Bre_ for the review, Hermione needs all the affection she can get, especially if she's stuck in the forties, but don't worry, this chapter will be happier for her...somewhat. **

**Well, enjoy the chapter and the song:) And as always, tell me what you think. **

***  
**

_She turned away, what was she looking at?  
She was a sour girl the day that she met me  
Hey, what are you looking at?  
She was a happy girl the day that she left me_

_What would you do?  
What would you do if I followed you?  
What would you do? I followed... _

Stone Temple Pilots- Sour Girl

_*  
_

Chapter 9: Kiss and Dare 

I am currently stuck in a wall niche.

I know the sentence sounds like something taken out of an Edgar Allan Poe story, but it's true. I'm also eavesdropping.

The conversation I'm overhearing isn't going the way I thought it would, but I knew from the beginning things wouldn't go as planned when I burst out on Black with that ludicrous demand to meet me on the Seventh Floor.

I should have carefully thought this out, but as I didn't, I would pay the consequences. It could go well, but then it couldn't.

I don't know when I turned matchmaker. It must be somewhere between hating my current common room and wishing Victoria wasn't a girl, because then she'd be easier to handle.

So, as I have mentioned before, I am stuck on the Seventh Floor, listening to Vicky and Black chatting.

How I got Victoria to come up here? I persuaded her with my eloquent arguments and my charismatic attitude.

Oh, okay, I shamefully paid one of the younger girls in my House to tell her that Black wanted to meet her here. I know it sounds farfetched but I actually tried getting close to her throughout the evening, but as nine o' clock was approaching I decided to act like a Slytherin and do what I had to do.

I didn't think she'd fall for it, but she did. I suppose her care for Black made her a bit more vulnerable than usual. A bit credulous too. Men will do that to women.

Although I was standing pretty close to them, I couldn't exactly make out what they were saying because they were talking very silently, but when I did manage to hear, the subject was me.

'You like her so very much?' she was asking.

'Like her?'

'Yes, you probably do, at least a little. You never touch anyone, but you touched her hands.'

That sounded as if he had touched my behind or something.

'I just took pity on her. Her hands seemed bruised. I only helped her.'

'But you don't usually do that. You almost never help!

'Well, that's true. I don't know why I did it. I guess she seemed so vulnerable. I felt pity for her, in a way. I..I rarely do.'

I didn't feel insulted or particularly wronged, but I did feel kind of sad about this. To his mind, I appeared as pathetic and weak, the kind of little girl you see in the park crying over the balloon she lost. But I wasn't like that, I know I wasn't. I mean okay, I wasn't the toughest person from the block but I wasn't a coward.

Honestly, I had stood up to Riddle. How many people do that?!

Was that the reason he pitied me? He thought I was vulnerable because I had put myself in that position? Well, that was my responsibility!

'You felt pity?' she echoed.

He nodded.

'You know, I have to admit, that is why I approached her too,' she told him. 'I can't explain it. But she seemed very fragile.'

Good God! She had the same opinion?! What is it with these people and their superior attitude towards just about everyone? Their pity sounds more like restrained tolerance.

'Didn't she? She looks like she needs help,' he told her.

Great, now they had formed a bond between each other thanks to me and my childishness.

'Yes, but she doesn't get any help,' she said looking down.

'That is why I helped her,' he continued, looking down as well.

'So you don't like her?' Victoria asked.

'Why would you assume that?'

'You haven't been close to anyone in years,' she told him sorrowfully. 'I thought, I thought she had made you feel something.'

Hadn't been close to anyone in years? Just what sort of boy was this person? He was under Riddle's influence alright, the whole world could see that, but did that mean he was devoid of feelings and reactions? Not even Riddle could bereave a person of their feelings. That was just silly.

'No, only pity. And that is not much. Victoria, why would you care if I liked her?'

'I don't. I just care about you,' she told him.

'You do?' he asked.

'Well, yes. Haven't you noticed?'

He didn't answer.

'I've always been your friend. Well, from afar at least. Remember in Fourth Year when I stayed with you in the Infirmary? Do you remember that?'

'Vaguely,' he replied. 'But I do. You were the girl with the carnations. You always brought carnations for me.'

'They're my favourite flowers. Of course, you probably didn't notice me because there were other girls there but I stayed the longest.'

'I think I remember. That was very nice of you. You shouldn't have done that.'

'Why not? And remember in Fifth Year when I copied from you at a test? I sent you a box of chocolates as a thank you afterwards and I wrote you a nice card.'

I was starting to think Victoria had bothered way too much to please a guy and maybe this whole effort of hers wasn't worth it, but this wasn't the time and place for my judgmental alter ego to show up.

'I think I might have the card, but you just signed V. on it so I no longer remembered who it was from.'

'You kept the card?!'

Sometimes, though it's hard to believe it, these Slytherin teenagers are just dysfunctional people in need of a real relationship. I was reminded of a pair of Hufflepuffs I had caught in the Astronomy Tower at the beginning of my Fifth Year.

'Why wouldn't I keep it?' he asked nonchalantly.

'Do you care about_ me_?' Victoria asked.

I was eagerly waiting for his answer. Maybe a miracle would take place and things would go my way and he'd confess some feelings for her. At least platonic ones.

'I don't know, Victoria. I really don't know. I can't say right now.'

Crap. That was pathetic.

'You don't know? Well, when will you know?'

'I can't really answer that either. I'm in a difficult position right now.'

'Oh…'

'I mean I can't focus on my feelings right now. But you're a nice girl.'

After a couple of more awkward replies between the two of them, I saw Victoria climb down the stairs and Black turn away with a disappointed look on his face.

Oh, this had gone wrong, hadn't it?

Here I was, hoping that these two would walk away together holding hands when reality was very different. I don't know why I supposed life would be a romance novel. Black was obviously a damaged person that had a couple of troubling issues on his mind and you couldn't expect him to sport a cheerful, charming smile and whisk a girl off her feet while churning out sappy lines from date movies.

I felt very bad for Victoria. I thought this was the end. The end of our friendship, I meant. And it hadn't even begun. She would feel bad and I would feel bad for her.

And there was nothing I could do!  
I wanted to punch Black in the face, but that wouldn't help.

Two years of waiting on him like a damn wife and when she finally confronts him for real, Victoria gets a confused 'I don't know.' She deserved better and I knew that, but I couldn't just kidnap Marlon Brandon for her, could I?

* * *

The following morning, to my great horror, Victoria sat down right next to me at the breakfast table and started the conversation with:

'I know it was you who fooled me into going on the Seventh floor.'

I spat some milk in my bowl of cereals.

'W-what? Me? I had nothing to do with it! I had no idea you were on the Seventh Floor!'

I suppose Harry was right when he said I couldn't lie effectively for more than one second.

'Look, I'm not stupid. Black hadn't expected me there. He had expected _you _there.'

I felt my cheeks slowly turning red, like two tomatoes.

'At first I thought you had set up a stupid date with him, but I started talking to him and I realized it was different. He certainly wasn't interested in you…or anyone else for that matter. So I thought you probably planned all this. I talked to that girl who told me to go meet Black and she confessed that _you_ had paid her. I was, of course, shocked. And while I think it's perfectly _sleazy, cheap_ and _tartly_ what you did…'

Here it comes.

'I…I appreciate it.'

'Really?!'

'Yes, really,' she sighed. 'You shouldn't have intervened between us, but you were trying to help, so I don't hold it against you…'

'I just wanted you two to get together,' I told her sincerely. 'And I didn't know how to show you I wasn't interested in him.'

'And this was the best way to do it?!'

'Well, you wouldn't listen to me and I met Black in Hogsmeade and I got nervous so I blurted out to him to meet me on the Seventh Floor and I thought I'd get something solved that way…' I ranted.

She shook her head amused.

'Okay, I admit, I was a real bitch about this affair…I overreacted and when I realized what I did I was too embarrassed to tell you or anyone. I guess I apologize. I just get overly sensitive about him. I get like that about many things. It's just how I am sometimes. That's why I have about three friends…'

'Victoria…'

'It's true. Not many people like my bossy attitude,' she said smiling.

'Hey, I know how it feels. Many people hold that against me too,' I said, sympathizing.

'You? Bossy attitude?!'

'Well, yes, you just haven't seen it yet,' I said flustered. 'But I can have pretty big expectations out of people.'

'Right…'

'But really now, Victoria, you've liked Black for over two years?'

Her eyes widened and she looked around the Great Hall cautiously.

'Keep your voice down! Wait a minute, you listened in on us! Greystone!'

'I'm sorry, I'm sorry,' I told her, though I was trying hard not to smile. 'I couldn't help overhearing.'

'So you heard how pathetic I am?'

'There's nothing pathetic about it. Just worrisome. I mean I'm betting you did a whole lot more for him, didn't you?'

'In Third Year, Cindy Voyer was his Potions partner so I gave her a nasty cold and I replaced her when she had to stay for a week in the Infirmary.'

'Vicky!' I bellowed scandalized. 'I can't believe you'd do such a thing! That's so unethical. You can't just harm people to get your own way!'

'I know that! But would you please stop being so judgy? I was thirteen.'

'Still!'

'Okay, I get your point. I am a bit too much sometimes, I know.'

'Um, you know, you could just try talking to him more. And you have a great opportunity at the Halloween party.'

'At the party? He'll probably be with his so called friends. He won't want to talk to me. He never does in public or around _them_.'

'That shouldn't stop you,' I told her encouragingly.

'Didn't you hear what he said, Jane? It's obvious he has no feelings for me.'

'No, he said he was confused about it, which is entirely different! He doesn't know how to feel right now. It doesn't mean he can't. And I bet this inadequacy that he has with other humans is a direct cause of Riddle's influence on him. That git is the one to be blamed for all this.'

'You think so?'

'I know it. There's no other explanation.'

'But what if he doesn't like me, regardless of Riddle?'

'Victoria, why shouldn't he like you?'

'Well, because I am how I am.'

'He doesn't even know you that well. And he said you're a nice girl. Just talk to him more. Don't give up just because he's a withdrawn person. I'm sure he's a good sort, not like all those other twats that hang around Riddle. But you have to stop waiting on him. You have to take some attitude. You can't just hope he notices your kind little gestures.'

Victoria looked at me sheepishly.

'I guess you're right.'

'Of course I am.'

And I knew I wasn't right only about her. I was right about myself too. I thought about Ron and how I always tried being there for him, but he sometimes didn't notice. I thought about those times I had wanted to say something to him and those times when I thought he would say something to me. I was always tense and stressed out because I wasn't sure what he felt for me. You just never know how things will turn out in these relationships. That's why I'd rather not bother with them. They bring more sadness than happiness and they make you irrational and silly.

And in the end, they all end, don't they? That's the eternal fate. They never last more than a year, if you're lucky.

I've watched my own parents. They've been married for twenty years and after so much time the passion and love have turned into quiet respect for one another. They live together in a quiet harmony, they share the same bedroom and the same bathroom robe, but the sparks have gone.

'Jane, Jane, are you listening?'

'What?' I snapped, looking up surprised.

'I was asking you if you're coming to the party.'

'Oh, I…I'm not sure. I don't think it will be a good thing for me. I already spend enough time with my fellow Slytherins as it is. I shouldn't turn it into a habit, or worse, pleasure.'

'Oh, well, me and the girls will be there so you won't be completely miserable,' she said in that clipped tone of hers, wrinkling her nose.

'Oh, yes, I know that. If I decide to come, I'll be sure to drop by.'

'Good then.'

'So...friends again?' I said extending my hand.

'Oh, erm, I suppose we can be called that,' she said taking it.

I saw a small smile at the corner of her lips.

'Friends,' she agreed, shaking my hand.

* * *

Things were starting to look up for me. I was friends again with Vicky and the Gyrffindors liked me. Yes, I had two pluses on my life list. But I still felt uneasy about Black and Victoria. I wanted to do something to help. I didn't trust Victoria to handle it well, because she was a helpless case herself when it came to people in general. They both had the emotional range of a spoon. Hadn't I told Ron that once? Well, I would have to do something about it, anyway.

They would both be at the party so maybe things could go from there. Surely, people can bond better at parties. I'd even throw the whole 'pitying me' theme if it helped.

Not only would I help two lonely souls, but I'd also make it easier for Black to get rid of Riddle's intoxicating influence. Because only someone who cared about him could help him get through this.

So I was in a good mood because I felt very useful, I felt I had a plan for them both. And this might sound silly, but I felt I had the power to make people happy. Not in a cheesy way, of course. I'd bring them together, kind of like Emma did in that novel by Jane Austen.

Ron had always told me I was an annoying do-gooder, but to be frank, I had never really fulfilled that role for real. I had never done enough. Maybe now I could do something that mattered. I was in the past for God's Sake! I could make everything better. I knew I couldn't change drastic things, but if I did some small things, indirectly? That wouldn't be harmful.

* * *

When I woke up Monday morning, however, I felt like I had a terrible hangover.

My spirits had dampened. It's so funny how my mood can change so fast. Yesterday the sun was shining for me, today I'm feeling the effects of a hurricane.

I remembered I was a Prefect now. That thought had never caused me more deliberate pain before. I usually loved getting a new responsibility. I relished in the feeling. I bragged about it to all the school and country.

I also remembered that Salazar Slytherin was locked in my trunk. The memory of an evil, racist, bigoted, powerful wizard was lying peacefully in my girly trunk.

Ugh, it was like a bad dream that was getting worse.

All this responsibility was making me resent Hogwarts, which had never happened before. Even when I had to face crazy, life-threatening dangers, I always loved Hogwarts. It was like an unconditional love.

Now, I was planning on running away from it as soon as possible.

Right after lunch, I was confronted by Greta Goyle.

'Greystone! Stop!' she hollered at me on the corridor. 'I need to speak to you.'

'Goyle? Can I help you?'

'Yes, you can. You can tell me how a mindless Mudblood like you got the Prefect position. Explain that to me.'

'Excuse me?'

'You heard me. How did an idiot like you get this important and responsible position?'

'Oh, gee, I'd love to tell you how I possess an actual functional brain and I am more responsible than the entire House, but I'd just waste my time with you. Besides, Dippet gave me the position.'

'Dippet?! On what terms? I am the Prefect! And I am the best for the job!'

'Hey, don't pick on me. It wasn't me who deposed you,' I said rolling my eyes. 'It was your boyfriend Riddle who complained about you.'

'Complained about me?! I don't believe you! You're just feeding me lies, Mudblood.'

'Oh, yeah, that's what I do in my spare time. I have nothing better to do than to tell you moron that your boyfriend doesn't like you anymore.'

'How dare you speak to me like that?!' she shrieked, stepping up to me.

'Goyle, you're making a scene. I'd appreciate it if you got out of the way.'

'Don't make me show you respect, Mudblood. You will _not _address me that way,' she said, her wand nudging me in the ribs.

'Because you'll what? Hex me?' I said, my hand gripping my wand. 'I think we both know that's a stupid idea. And I have no reason to treat you nicely. You don't show me any respect either.'

'Ha! Like I would show a Mudblood respect! That's abnormal. Your kind should understand that.'

'Well, my kind is a little bit sensitive and likes to settle things differently,' I replied, my wand twitching in my hand.

'I don't know how you charmed Dippet into giving you the position, but I know what you're after. Your lies and your intrigues are clear to me. And I can assure you, I will be your worst nightmare if you even dare to get close to Riddle.'

I couldn't help it. I started laughing.

'You think I'm after Riddle?!'

'Why else would you be throwing yourself in his way all the time? Maybe people thought you were brave to go in the Forest that night, but we both know you just wanted to get under Riddle's skin. What other motivation did you have to go after him? And don't tell me you wanted to save Hogwarts! You barely know the place.'

'I can't believe you! You actually think I'd put my life in danger for that prat? You think I'd chase evil men just to get a chance to bat my eyelids at him? You think I'm just dying to spend time with that _disgusting_ jerk? I'd rather try my luck with a Dementor!'

_Slap!_

I didn't even have time to react. She had just slapped me! I felt the terrible sting on my cheek.

'Speak like that about Tom again and I'll inflict some real injuries on you! You're nothing compared to him.'

I didn't wait to be humiliated again.

I threw a hex her way with all my strength.

'That doesn't change the fact that he's a prick!' I told her as she knelt on the ground, holding her stomach.

She tried hexing me back, but I deflected it.

'I'll make you pay, Greystone. I'll make you pay for this! When I'm done with you, you'll be history in this school!'

'Oh, I can't wait for that to happen. You'd be doing me a favour,' I said walking away.

I needed to clear my head before the anger got the best of me.

I thought these petty insults about blood couldn't get to me anymore.

I thought I had stopped caring in Third Year.

I was wrong, I was so wrong. I still took everything to heart. Inside I was kicking and screaming how it wasn't fair, how everything was turned upside down, how they never gave me a chance. I almost hated them, all those wizards who thought blood mattered. What does it matter for a second who you are?

We all feel, we all die.

I had never asked for this. I had never asked for Riddle, I had never asked for him.

* * *

That evening, the Head Boy gave me the shiny, miserable Prefect badge and told me patrolling hours were starting at eight. I was supposed to wait for Riddle in front of the Dungeons. He also told me that if I found Mariella Dorcas snogging a boy on the Fifth Floor I should just ignore it. Apparently, she was his sister.

I had made a plan so that the night would pass without any inconvenience. I was going to read and ignore him all the way through. I would be polite and curt if we needed to talk and most importantly I wouldn't look at him or his eyes.

At eight o'clock on the dot I was in front of the Dungeons, as promised.

I was leaning against a statue on my left, leafing through my book, when I saw Riddle coming from the opposite direction with a girl. They kissed before she waved at him and turned the other way. I wrinkled my nose in disgust. I pitied the girl who had to touch him. He was like a contagious disease. How would anyone voluntarily kiss him?

I quickly pulled up my mental shields when I saw him approaching me.

'New girl?' I asked, raising a brow. 'Goyle will be sobbing in a corner again.'

'And good evening to you too, Greystone. I hope you're not getting jealous. That's a very unattractive trait in a female.'

'I wouldn't get my hopes up. A girl has issues if she is willing to get close to you.'

'You don't need to insult yourself now, really, I'm sure you have no issues. Well, maybe one or two but I can overlook them.'

'Haha, that was _so_ clever. I wonder how you come up with these little jokes.'

'I admit, it's hard work, but you always provide material,' he said shrugging his shoulders.

'You will not get on my nerves tonight, I won't allow it,' I said turning away. 'Let's just get to work.'

I started walking away and I heard his small steps following me.

It took him less than two seconds to catch up to me.

'Well, you're going to spoil all the fun of the evening.'

'Gee, I apologize if I'm not all sunshine and rainbows. I didn't exactly wish for this.'

'What_ did_ you wish for?'

'You locked up in a cage and thrown into the sea,' I muttered.

'You can't possibly mean that.'

'Oh, yes I can. And I'd throw Goyle in with you. She wouldn't be a loss.'

'Now that would be just cruel, Greystone. Speaking of Goyle, I heard about your little duel in the corridor. She yelled about it all afternoon like a bloody banshee. All I can say is you were sloppy. You should have shut her up too. Pushing her around is nothing if you don't silence that big, stupid mouth of hers.'

'Next time, I'll remember that. Why did you complain about her to Dippet?'

We were already patrolling the First Floor.

'Why wouldn't I? She's a useless bint that bothers me to no end. She's only good for a night or two. Then she starts having expectations. Why is it that your lot is never satisfied? Why is it that you always want more?'

'I don't think you're in the position to judge, aren't you the king of that word?' I scoffed.

He chuckled. I was about to say something else, but then I remembered my original plan. I wasn't supposed to chat with him! After I imaginarily slapped myself I closed my mouth and looked away, hoping he'd do the same. I also pulled out my book. I could read and walk, that was no problem.

To my surprise and relief he didn't react at all. We reached the Second Floor and continued walking in silence. It was bliss for me. I could almost pretend he wasn't there.

After what felt like half an hour, I bumped into something. I realised it was him.

He had stepped up in front of me and was holding my book down.

'Now, really, Greystone, are you going to do that all night?'

'Got a problem with that?'

'Yes, I'm getting unusually bored. So drop the damn book and talk.'

'Yeah, I definitely will since you asked me so nicely,' I said rolling my eyes. 'No thanks. I don't feel like having a conversation with you.'

'I promise I won't call you Mudblood too many times,' he said nonchalantly.

'You really have a nerve, you know that?'

I hadn't realized we were standing really close and the only thing between us was my book.

'I'm not asking you something so difficult Greystone. I think your reptilian brain can handle a conversation.'

'You have no leg to stand on, Riddle, or don't you remember how I totally beat you in Transfiguration class? Oh, wait, that wasn't the only time. It happened last Friday too and last Wednesday…' I said, counting on my fingers. 'I can't keep track of all the times I proved I was better, but I'm sure you did.'

He yanked the book out of my hands. He looked put out. Good, I wanted him to feel bad and angry. He deserved it, the twat.

'Your fierce attitude is truly charming. Not many people stand up to me which I confess can get really dull. Once you don't have an opponent or at least some competition, you can get very depressed and you make no progress at all, I can tell you. That is why I didn't rightfully submit you to infinite pain for trying to injure me the first night we met. However, as entertaining as our interactions may be,' he drawled, caressing my locks, 'I would warn you amiably not to consider yourself my equal.'

'I'm not your equal, that's true, but I don't have to be. I'm better than you,' I said, smirking. I had no idea where this bravery was coming from.

He pulled my arm to him and I almost winced in pain.

'You just love acting high and mighty, don't you?'

'Me?! Aren't you the one who's trying to prove something?'

'I don't have to prove anything to you,' he replied.

'Maybe it's the fact that I know too much, maybe that's getting you a little bit nervous.'

'You always have to throw that in my face. I could get rid of you right now if I wanted to and you know that,' he said smirking.

'So why don't you?' I countered, my eyes determined and my voice firm. I wasn't about to cower, no way, no how. Besides, my wand was ready.

He looked at me for what felt like years and I saw both grey and blue in his eyes. One could almost get a headache from staring into his eyes. They changed colour so often. It was unnerving.

'Don't tempt me. You know how much I'd enjoy that,' he said slowly. The grip on my hand got stronger and his eyes grew darker.

Out of nowhere, the old fear crept inside of me again. I was once again afraid of him.

'I don't have to be afraid of you,' I said out loud.

'No, you don't, but it's so much better when you are. Makes you a lot more likeable…' he almost purred.

His eyes were like dark waves, crashing one into the other.

I was afraid of him as a boy now, not as a dark wizard. There was a part of him that was slightly…insane.

I could almost see it in slow motion, the way his mouth approached mine.

His eyes seemed full of some secret desire. His breath was tingling my lips.

And then I realised what he was doing. I realised what his eyes were doing. I realised why I was feeling like putty in his hands and why I was afraid.

_Slap!_

He hadn't expected it. His face flew in the opposite direction. Along with his intention to kiss me.

'What the hell! I don't know what game you're trying to play, but I'm not one of your dumb girlfriends, so don't make that confusion again!'

With that I walked away angrily, not caring whether he followed me or not.

How dare he try that! How dare he even think I would fall for that!

I was going to my room and he could just patrol alone for all I cared.

'You can have tonight all to yourself!' I yelled after him.


	10. Stuck on Kafka

**Hey guys! I'm back with the new chapter. Originally, I was supposed to post it on Sunday, but my Internet decided to take a break for a day, so, consequently I had to post on Tuesday. But I know it's been a long while, so I'm sorry for the delay. I hope I can make up for it in the length of this chapter (it was written in about seven days and it's pretty long). I don't know what to say about this chapter; it's pretty strange and I'm not really sure about it, but you'll be the judges of that. I did try to keep it real, but add some humour too. I hope you enjoy it. Oh and thanks a bunch to _Bre_ and _Oola_ for the consistent and kind reviews and to everyone who makes some time for this little story:) **

**P.S. The title's meaning can be found in the chapter but it's kind of self-explanatory too :)  
**

*

_Play all my records, keep dancing all night_  
_ But leave me alone for a while_  
_ 'Til Johnny's dancing with me_  
_ I've got no reason to smile_

_ It's my party and I'll cry if I want to_  
_ Cry if I want to, cry if I want to_  
_ You would cry too if it happened to you_

Lesley Gore- It's my party

_*  
_

Chapter 10: Stuck on Kafka (or my first Slytherin party)

I had to stop when I reached the dungeons to steady my breath because I was running out of air. I was trying to make sense of the world around me. My lungs were too full or too empty, I didn't know. My heart was going to explode and smash into smithereens. I could already hear the pieces falling to the floor like heavy metal chunks.

No, wait. That was an actual sound I could hear in the distance. Was it footsteps?

My God, if it was Riddle I swear I'd do something silly like stick my fingers in his eyes.

I turned the corner and I saw a ghost from afar. It was the Bloody Baron, I believe.

I hadn't seen him around school that much. However, what really baffled me was the fact that he was carrying a very odd bear-trap, or something like that, tied to a metal chain that was fastened to his waist. Now, normally, ghosts don't make any sounds so his odd contraption shouldn't have been heard and yet, the noise was more than just audible, it was crystal clear. You can image I was getting a bit nervous. In my time, the Bloody Baron did not in any case, wear that awful thing.

But probably the most unnerving thing was that when he got closer to me and saw me, his eyes doubled, he stuttered something in a frightened voice and he turned around and flew away hastily, his bear-trap making the most harrowing sounds after him. I called back after him, but he just howled something and kept floating away. I tried chasing him but I didn't get very far because I couldn't go through walls.

Suddenly Hogwarts was a lot creepier than I remembered.

When I was back in the common room and safely guarded by my green curtains I started breathing regularly again and started thinking properly.

Okay, let's see. That despicable man had tried touching my lips with his own and a ghost had run away at my sight. Well, in one night I had reached two opposites.

God, why was Riddle out to get me? Wasn't it enough that he hurt me and manipulated me and played with me? Now he had to go do that? What gave him the right to do that? What made him think I would fall for that kind of thing?

He might have been close to my lips, but his mind had been very far. I knew he hadn't wanted to kiss me because he liked me or felt attracted to me. No, it had felt like an attack. He was attacking my mouth, trying to silence me. He thought I would submit to something as stupid as hormones. Well, I'm not that kind. And I'm not the kind to feel attracted to disgusting criminals, no matter how brilliant or good looking.

I looked in my pocket mirror. There were red marks around the scar. I had tried scrubbing it away so many times that my skin was coming off too.

I didn't know I was trapped. I wasn't aware of the golden cage surrounding me, which was Hogwarts. I couldn't talk to anyone about some things. And I couldn't talk to myself about others. I just had to do things on my own. And what had I done? I had browsed through some silly books and I had hoped Dumbledore would get a chance to throw him off his tall horse.

I wasn't the type to wait for things to happen to me. I usually did things on my own, didn't I?

So why was I acting like a _total_ twat? I had to get up and act!

I had to use all my knowledge of him that he didn't have of me. This stupid boy who dabbled in the Dark Arts needed someone to teach him a lesson. He was just a spoilt brat with a bad attitude. He needed someone to pull his years and lock him up in his room until he came out with nicer manners.

Yes, I shouldn't be afraid of him. And if I was, I was an idiot.

As I lay on my bed, staring at the dark lake through the window, I remembered something that I knew about him.

He was the heir of Slytherin.

I got up and opened my trunk, taking out the old parchments.

_Salazar, are you there?_

As usual he did not answer. I sighed.

_This is important. I need your help._

Nothing once again.

_Please. It's about the heir of Slytherin. He's in this school right now. His name is Tom Riddle Marvolo. _

The page remained blank but the parchments started moving, as if brushed by some invisible wind.

My ink bottle was almost empty so I grabbed a new one from my bag.

I unbolted the lid hastily but in my rush I accidentally cut myself on the sharp edge and a large drop of blood fell on the parchment and disappeared.

To my amazement, I saw Salazar's writing curving on the page in several sentences.

_How did you get hold of this blood? It is very ancient. I command you to tell me. You could not have preserved it for so long. _

I scratched my head confused.

_That was my blood, _I answered.

_That's…impossible._

_I just cut myself, that's my blood. I wouldn't lie about this._

_You do not understand. This cannot be your blood. _

_Why not?_

_It simply cannot. It is logically impossible. You would have to…_

_Yes?_

_Tell me, who exactly are you? _

_I'm Jane. _

_And you're in Slytherin?_

_Yes. _

_How is this possible?_

_I have no idea what you are talking about. Whose blood did you think this was? _

_Give me more of this blood._

_Excuse me?!_

_I would like to have some more. It makes me grow in strength._

_You will never be alive, Salazar. You are just a memory. You can't grow in strength._

_Give me your blood, or I shall take it for myself, _he threatened.

_I would like to see you try, _I replied though my pen was shaking in my fingers. This was not going as planned.

_I will take it, unless you give it willingly. _

_You cannot, you simply cannot, you're not a human being, _I wrote in a fury. _You have no power over me. You can't take it. _

_I am doing it right now._

I didn't understand what he meant, but then I saw in my horror how everything I was writing was in blood. A rivulet of blood was falling through the tip of my pen.

I started screaming like a mad woman. I pushed away the papers in horror.

Suddenly, the curtains of my bed were pulled and Victoria's head popped in.

'Did you just scream Jane? We're trying to sleep here.'

'Oh, I…I just saw a spider,' I said, my voice shaking like mad. I was sitting on the bed, my legs to my chest and I was trembling like a wet cat.

'Oh, you saw a spider? You're afraid of them?'

'Who wouldn't be?' I said shrugging my shoulders.

'They aren't all that bad. They don't cause much harm. You can use a charm to get rid of them. Just be quiet next time, alright?'

I nodded my head vigorously, looking at a spot on my bed blankly. Victoria frowned, staring at me worriedly.

'Are you sure you're okay?'

I was shaking my head like a mad woman so I don't think I looked okay.

'What happened?'

'Victoria, tonight is just…' I began, my chest rising and falling rapidly.

'You had rounds with Riddle?' she asked expectantly.

'Yeah, yeah that's it. I had stupid rounds with Riddle…' I replied.

'Did he act like a twat again?'

'Well, he never stops, you know him.'

'Boy, he really gave you a fright, did he? What did he do?' she asked, sitting on my bed.

'Oh, he just…he was just himself. That's scary enough.'

'You know what you should do? You should get yourself into trouble so they would take back your badge.'

'Well, that's an idea I should consider,' I said feeling slightly dizzy. I rested my head on my pillow. It felt like I had bricks inside my scalp. And they were all fighting for more room.

'Well, I'll let you rest then,' Victoria said stiffly, noticing I was in no mood for talking.

After she left, I regretted having let her go. Her presence was soothing.

I saw from the corner of my eye that Salazar had written something.

_If you give me your blood, I will help you with this Tom Riddle..._

I looked at my bloodied finger and a tear almost escaped my eye. That tear remained at the corner of my eye, just like the letters on the parchment. And the feeling that I had something Salazar wanted sank in like a cold stone. The waves of horror rushed through me. There were far too many mysteries tonight, there was far too much plotting at Hogwarts, this place was turning out to be stranger than I expected and I_ know_ Hogwarts.

Sure, blood can make some creatures feel alive, but Salazar was human for all I knew and when humans drink blood nothing special happens. He couldn't be a vampire either. Vampires didn't really exist in his time and the whole concept of this guy being a vampire is too farfetched, even for him.

So then, how can memories feed with blood? And is my blood special to him? If he is just a memory, that means he can't have my blood organically. So how does my blood make him feel powerful? How can memories do that?

That night I dreamt I was in great pain. My foot was caught in the bear-trap and the Baron was carrying me away.

And I was leaving a trail of blood on the corridor.

* * *

If I could avoid Riddle in class, I couldn't avoid him during Prefect rounds. I could sit somewhere where he wouldn't see me, but I couldn't walk next to him and pretend I wasn't there or he wasn't there because he was one of those people you could never wish away.

I thought he would start something up between us and the almost kiss. I knew his ego was the size of a miniplanet and I guess he didn't take rejection well, especially from a girl. He had tried approaching me and I had given him the cold shoulder. And since he was used to feeling all-mighty, this would inevitably upset him. He was the taker, the winner and this had been a defeat for him.

And I was right: first time I saw him again he looked upset, but he was surprisingly quiet about it. He didn't give me any of it. He didn't snap at me or try to assault me. He didn't even talk about it. He looked upset alright, but his pride prevented him from saying anything. He had been rejected by a girl, so he wasn't going to bring it up or try to make it look like anything else because that's what had happened. And he stared at me and I stared at him and I felt like I was in a spiral of emotions.

But we walked down the corridors and we didn't say anything.

From time to time, if the light went dimmer, he'd walk closer to me, almost imperceptibly. And if we caught someone sneaking out, he'd brush past me when he talked to the student.

I wondered what he was thinking; if he ever thought of having a job or a family, if he ever wanted to just lie down and watch the sun or eat an ice cream. I sometimes have these thoughts about people and I know they're unordinary but if you get down to it, they're pretty normal things normal people would do. I suspected he was a very unhappy,_ abnormal_ man. And I was very happy about that.

Thursday night I was flipping through my book, walking with him but I dropped it by accident and we both knelt to pick it up. Our eyes met and he saw the scar and his blue orbs sparkled, as if he had seen something that was his, like a favourite teddybear he always went to bed with, and he almost made to touch my neck but at the last moment he put the book in my hands and got up.

Friday morning in Potions class I cut myself accidentally with the cleaver and he quickly placed a napkin over my hand and pressed his fingers on it, all the while looking at a book in front of him. I was getting a bit peeved by these small gestures.

'You can let go now,' I told him after some time, though his fingers were slightly soothing. He looked at me surprised, but a shadow of a smile crossed his lips.

My hand was free. He had let go a long time ago.

I stared at it blankly. But I hid my shame well. And the growing red cheeks. Wouldn't want to let him know that I still felt the touch because that was just plain stupid.

I didn't know how to act exactly. He was just…impossible.

Every time I thought I knew what to do, he did something that pulled me back to step one. His gestures were always vague because you never knew what his next intentions would be.

He was the gentle kind of monster. How can I explain that?

Have you ever seen _The Silence of the Lambs_? I remember watching it some time ago (in my time, to be exact) and now that I think about, he was just like Hannibal to me.

At the time, I had felt drawn to that character because he was just so fascinating but now I was seeing the slight resemblance between the two. And I didn't like it one bit because I didn't want to make Riddle interesting.

Maybe I was thinking too much into it. After all, Riddle can't hold a candle to Anthony Hopkins. Hannibal is preferable to him.

* * *

All of a sudden it was Friday and Halloween to boot and I hadn't even realized it. I had been caught up with avoiding Riddle and getting some large amounts of homework done and worrying about Salazar and the Bloody Baron and getting stressed out by all of these.

I was napping softly on my bed when suddenly the curtains of my bed were drawn and two loud voices erupted.

'Jane! Wake up! You have to tell us what you think about our dresses!'

I opened my eyes slowly and I saw Bridget and Catherine standing in front of me, wearing identical pink dresses. The sleeves were short and sleek and the cut was short. Also, they were both wearing red carnations at the left shoulder.

I blinked confused. Even their hair was done in the same fashion. They smiled in the same way.

'Am I in a Kafka story?' I asked dazed.

'A what? Now, please stop playing silly and tell us what you think! We are desperately in need of an objective opinion,' Catherine pleaded.

'You both look really pretty? But have you noticed you're wearing the same dress? And the same…everything?'

'See, Bridget, I told you we looked the same, you shouldn't have worried!' Catherine said flipping her hand at the other girl. 'See, the whole idea is that we wanted to dress alike. You know, like a challenge or a project! We like having projects, don't we? It was very entertaining.'

'Really now? What about individuality?' I asked raising a brow.

They extended their hands proudly.

'Different bracelets,' Bridget said. 'Silver for me and gold for her.'

'Aha. Completely different,' I snorted.

'Plus, I am quite taller than her,' Bridget added.

'That is not true! Your heels are just an inch taller and you know it!'

'Right, because the lady at the store would give us different pairs! We asked for the same size and everything.'

'You girls have a weird way of having fun,' I said, rubbing my eyes sleepily. 'Well, you'll definitely make an impression.'

'Thanks!' they said in unison.

'What about Lucille and Vicky?' I asked.

'Ah, well, Lucille thinks pink makes her look fat so she gave up on our plan and she's wearing blue instead. We are kind of sad about that. She's so boring all of a sudden,' Bridget explain. 'And Vicky said it was all silly so we didn't mind her.'

I couldn't help giggling. These girls were too funny.

'What is amusing you?' they asked. 'Is it the carnation? Is it too much?'

'No, no, everything is perfect,' I said trying to hide my smile.

'Well, Lucille gave up on us at the last minute, but luckily we have_ you_ in return!'

'Come again?'

'Well, you'll be the third, silly! You'll take her place.'

'Wow, wow, wow. I don't think I'm going to the party. I didn't even get an invitation. I heard you need that.'

Bridget and Catherine looked at each other like I had just spat on them.

'But we invited you!'

'What do you mean?'

'Vicky said it would be a stupid idea because she said you wouldn't want to, but we knew you wanted to come too, because who wouldn't want to?! So we went right ahead and invited you!'

'Uh, you did?' I asked, my eyes wide.

'Of course!' they exclaimed.

Bridget fidgeted in one of her pockets and took out a small card.

'Look, here's yours.'

I took the small, green card that had a black skull on it and read the lines inside.

_You are invited to a party that will not let you sleep. Slytherins only. Jane Greystone – invitation/pass. Halloween extravaganza. _

Yep, I was still in a Kafka story.

'So you can come! And we'll all have a grand time! No one in the room will stand up to us!' they exclaimed happily. 'We will be three identical sisters.'

Sometimes, I really felt I was in the forties.

'Look, I am really grateful for the invitation and everything but I don't really feel I should go. The Slytherins don't have very fuzzy feelings for me and frankly, I don't like pink that much and…'

'But Jane! We invited you!' Bridget yelped.

'Yes Jane! We did!' Catherine said, sniffing. 'You wouldn't be so impolite to refuse us, would you?'

'But…'

'We were kind and we thought of you. Now you should think of us,' they said solemnly. 'It wasn't easy acquiring invitations, you know.'

I almost slapped my head.

'We prepared with such care! We wouldn't want to be disappointed. We were sure you would say yes!'

'I could make it up to you some other time.'

They shook their heads vigorously. They looked like two squirrels on the verge of eating an acorn.

'No other time will do, you have to do it for us, Jane. You have to be our third! We have the dress and everything! We don't want it to go to waste!'

I sighed and pulled the pillow over my head.

'What if Lucille had been the third?'

'Oh, Jane, you are so funny sometimes, you would have obviously been the fourth!'

'Sometimes I wonder at the world you live in.'

'What can you mean?' they asked, looking confused. 'You don't like our company?'

'No, it's not that…Oh, fine, I'll go,' I muffled. 'But I'm not wearing that damned carnation.'

* * *

I felt like in kindergarten that time I had to recite a very long poem wearing a bee's outfit in front of hundreds of parents. Maybe the mortification would go away eventually. I would get to the party, get a drink, listen to the songs, talk to the girls for a while then leave. I would probably get mocked all the way through. And the next day as well.

How could these girls be so confident about the way they looked? Did they have any idea how silly this whole thing was? They were so blasé about it, but I couldn't muster the courage to just walk in there with my head up high and pretend I was not wearing that frilly, glamorous pink carpet and that carnation on my shoulder.

The party was taking place in one of the Potions classes that had been rearranged and decorated for the feast. Professor Slughorn had been all too eager to assist in the process. I gathered he loved these kinds of things.

The room did look pretty neat. They had made it look really festive and fitful for a Halloween party. Of course the Slytherins had put their own trademark - snakes everywhere - but it still looked nice.

At the entrance I saw Professor Slughorn and the Head Boy were both checking the invitations.

They gaped at the three of us when we entered the place.

I felt so damn embarrassed I just couldn't look my teacher in the eye. It wasn't that I looked bad. We looked bad together – Bridget, Catherine and me. But any sort of allusion I made about that was welcomed with strange stares from them.

'Oh well! What a surprise! You girls decided to make us see double, or triple!' Slughorn joked. 'Thrice the beauty, right Dorcas?' he asked the Head Boy, who was standing next to him.

'Yes, sir, of course.'

We handed him the invitations and he let us pass.

'See? They couldn't take their eyes off us!' Bridget said. 'Wait and see, we'll be the most envied girls.'

I really doubted that. I looked around warily.

There were small groups here and there, talking and playing cards. Some couples were trying to swing to some jazzy tunes but since the party had just started, they were the only ones dancing.

Even though the light was dimmer than usual, everyone noticed when we made our entrance. And they weren't glancing at us admiringly. Everyone stopped what they were doing to just ogle at us. I think they all wanted to burst into laughter but were too proud and poised to do it. I couldn't blame them.

Some of them looked surprised to see me. Some looked annoyed. Others didn't seem to mind. They just sat around the room, sipping some red beverages that had ornamental spiders in them, or at least, I think they were ornamental.

Bridget and Catherine waved their hands at the people and smiled seductively. I just wanted to get away from them.

And luck smiled upon me when they suddenly broke away to go talk to some "cute" Seventh Years they had just spotted.

'Care to join us, sister?'

'Oh, no, no, you go and have fun,' I said shaking my head vigorously.

I sighed relieved when they disappeared in the crowd and I went to get a drink.

I tried taking off that carnation but only ended up almost ripping part of the dress.

When I got to the food stand there was a huge line waiting to be served by a house elf that was dressed up like a werewolf. I blinked in shock.

I couldn't believe my eyes! The poor creature, to be subjected to this kind of trash! He was treated like a play thing!

'Excuse me, but what is a house elf doing dressed up like that?' I asked the people in front of me.

They turned to me with annoyance.

'He's serving drinks, are you blind?'

'I can see you are treating him like a servant! But he is not your play thing, you can't disrespect him like that, making him wear that ridiculous thing!'

'Well, gee, no one asked your opinion Muddie,' one of them joked sneering.

'You are not allowed to do this,' I insisted displeased. I circled round the queue and reached the poor house elf.

'Hey, wait in line!' people shouted.

'Oh, you poor thing, let me get that off you,' I told him, touching his arm. I tried taking off his suit but it was stuck to him like glue. I pulled harder but it wouldn't budge. He tried pushing me away but I didn't relent. I pulled it until he yelped in pain and rolled on the floor.

'Master Slughorn! Master Slughorn! This girl is attacking me! Poor Archie hurt! Poor Archie hurt!'

'Hey, I'm not hurting you, I'm trying to help you!' I shrieked in frustration. 'I'm on your side!'

But the house-elf kept shouting and crying. Finally, professor Slughorn came over and actually told me to stop_ assaulting_ the poor house elf.

'I was just trying to help,' I muttered angrily. 'I mean I started SPEW.'

But I knew he wouldn't know what I was talking about.

Needless to say, everyone was laughing at me. Or at least sniggering quietly.

And to my horror, I saw Riddle laughing with a girl in a corner and the girl was saying something along the lines "oh that silly Mudblood! Look at what she's wearing!" He was holding her on his lap and she had her arms encircled around his shoulders, like they were the high school sweethearts of the year.

I turned my back on them and went to find Victoria or someone sane in here.

Suddenly, a very jumpy song started and everyone ran to the dance floor and I was bombarded by a crowd of eager teenagers that wouldn't let me pass through.

I collided into many couples trying to dance. I was just trying to find my way out.

'Oh there you are! We thought you had run away!' Bridget and Catherine shrieked. They had popped out of nowhere, literally. I mean I don't know how they made it through the throngs of people.

I barely heard what they were saying. Everyone was getting a bit loud.

'…and the boys said that we should be models! Yes, they said that! They also asked us if we were Siamese! Isn't that funny Jane?'

'Can we have this discussion somewhere else?' I asked. I was already getting hit by a lot of elbows.

'Oh you're right, let's dance!' they yelped and grabbed both my hands.

They dragged me in the middle of all those people and started moving around me.

It didn't take long for those Seventh Years they had talked to, to show up. Suddenly, I was trapped in this square between them and the boys.

I tried moving around, dancing to the song but I was feeling a bit claustrophobic.

I pushed their hands away and I managed to get lost in the crowd again. It's not that I didn't like the girls but right now, I didn't want to be near them and those boys. They already seemed to be hitting it off well and they were occupying more space than I could stand.

I suddenly noticed a bunch of trays floating around the crowd. They were full of beverages. I headed towards them relieved but to my annoyance, they were carried by house-elves dressed like pixies (!)

'Oh for the love of God!' I exclaimed. 'How much longer are you going to degrade yourselves?'

But they just blinked at me indifferently.

'We never degrade ourselves,' he told me crisply.

'Oh, you are doing a fine job now!' I bellowed.

'Miss is ridiculous,' he said, shrugging his shoulders.

'Ah, just give me a drink.'

I grabbed a glass rather unceremoniously and walked away put off. Finally I could enjoy my drink and relax a bit…

I spotted Victoria sitting somewhere in the back talking to Lucille.

A boy suddenly pushed me forward and my cherry soda was spilt on the person in front of me.

It was a girl. And she was wearing a very sparkly, white dress. I stared in horror.

Her entire face cringed in anger as she looked down at the red stain on her chest. She shot daggers at me.

'You clumsy idiot!' she snapped. 'Ugh, now I have to go clean up. Wait for me sugar!'

When I looked to see who her dance partner was I almost jumped back. It was Orion Black of all people. He didn't look all that pleased to see me, though.

The girl ran out of the crowd, her arms flailing about and promised again she would return.

'So…hi, Black,' I addressed him.

'Hello, Greystone.'

'I see you're having fun with….'

'Anna.'

'Okay, Anna. You're having fun with her? I thought you were the antisocial type.'

'I'm hardly having _any _fun. She is a terrible gossiper and a terrible dancer. My head is literally ringing. I'm grateful I can have some moments of peace. Actually, it was a good thing you passed by and spilt your drink on her. I think I'll run for it before she comes back.'

'So I helped, didn't I?' I said, eyeing him amused. I looked back at Victoria.

I suddenly got an idea. I was still bent on that matchmaking thing, so…

'I guess you owe me one,' I told him playfully. 'I got rid of that girl for you. Now you have to do something for me.'

'Oh, really now?' he asked.

'That's right. My friend, Vicky, is right there in the back,' I told him, showing him the spot. 'Go and ask her to dance with you. I bet she's been meaning to ask you herself.'

'Er, Victoria?' he asked unsure.

'You wouldn't disappoint her, would you? She's just sitting there all alone, waiting for someone to ask her,' I told him, hitting him in the chest.

Now I really felt like a forties girl.

'Well, what are you going to do?' I demanded.

'I guess I should go talk to her…' he said awkwardly and smiled to me.

'Yes, you should,' I agreed and waved at him as he walked away.

And Hermione Granger strikes again!

I was feeling pretty confident about myself after that. Even the crowd didn't bug me so much anymore. And I did like the songs and I did feel like dancing, so what the heck?

I moved around happily and ignored the fact that I was dancing alone while everyone seemed to have a pair. I was a nineties kind of girl anyway.

An elbow crashed into my ribs and I almost yelped in pain. Then a heel stabbed my leg. 'Ouch, I'm here too you know,' I said turning to the girl.

It was Riddle's partner. They both stared at me amused.

'I knew I'd run into you at some point…' I muttered morosely, looking at his smug face.

'Oh, hi there Mudblood girl! How are you enjoying the party?' the girl asked. She looked like a fish, in my opinion.

I threw them a look that explained everything but I smiled sweetly and straightened my dress.

'Why, it's just wonderful. I'm having the time of my life,' I said looking around.

I saw Dorcas, the Head Boy, making his way through the crowd with an awkward expression on his face, like he didn't want to be there. He looked like a scrawny version of Neville, only he was leaner and more graceful. But most people were more graceful than Neville.

He noticed me standing there next to Riddle and what's her face.

He was walking towards me. I felt confused. And suddenly…

'Hi, um, would you like to dance?'

A roar of laughter exploded behind me. Riddle and his girl were laughing like they were watching a really good comedy.

'Yeah, why not?' I told him, trying to smile.

He took my hand rather coarsely and he tried dancing with me. He wasn't a very skilled one. He kept treading on my feet. And he kept staring at that damn carnation.

I saw that house-elf that was dressed like a pixie again, walking with the trays, and I dug my nails into Dorcas' hands, making him flinch.

'Oh, sorry! It's just...can you believe that?! Those house-elves just stand there and take all this like it's normal. If you try to help them, they lash out at you!'

Dorcas looked back at the house-elves and suddenly turned very red.

'Oh, really? Well, that's unfortunate.'

'You should bring it up at the next meeting,' I suggested.

'Um, I would but actually, I was the one with the idea…' he said awkwardly, rubbing his nape.

'What? What idea? You mean…you proposed this?! You thought the house elves dressing up would be a good idea?!'

'Hey, it would promote closer relations between humans and house elves!'

'Oh really? I beg to differ!' I said pulling away. 'Sorry, I don't feel like dancing anymore.'

I made my way through the crowd, this time with more determination. Dorcas kept following me.

'Jane wait, I'm sorry! I didn't know you had such strong feelings about it.'

I kept walking away. It wasn't that I was upset with him. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I felt light-headed. I just needed to sit down. I saw a small door in the back and I opened it.

A crowd of boys were smoking and playing cards. I could barely make them out.

I knew this wasn't the place for me so I turned around quickly but I wasn't fast enough.

Someone beat me to the door.

'Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in.'

'Nott,' I muttered under my breath.

'Boys, we have company. It's our favourite girl, she's come to see us.'

They started to snigger.

'Oh, but please sit down,' he said pulling me towards a chair.

I struggled to get away but another pair of arms encircled my waist.

'We didn't really get a chance to talk,' Malfoy's voice spoke in my ear. 'We'd like to get to know you better.'

'We're not very pleased with you,' Avery spoke. 'Not at all. I mean you're not a very nice Mudblood. You're a naughty little kitty, aren't you?'

'What are you talking about? Leave me alone or I swear I will scream and call everyone in here!'

'Oh we do love empty threats!' Malfoy said gleefully. 'Especially when you're in no position to make them.'

'Why don't you just scream right now?' someone yelled in the back. 'I bet no one will come.'

'Give the Mudblood a lesson!' someone else shouted.

'What do you say, kitty? Should we punish you for playing with the furball?' another voice spoke. I didn't know the boy but he looked a lot like Zabini.

He got up from his spot and approached me, blowing cigar smoke in my face. He touched the carnation and smiled.

'Nice ornament. So tacky. It just begs to be ripped off.'

Someone whispered something and suddenly I saw another door opening on my right and Malfoy was dragging me to it. I struggled and yelled for help, pushing him away, but four of them were keeping me still.

I yelled from the top of my lungs but I don't think anyone heard me.

I was dragged into a cold corridor I did not recognize. I had heard the dungeons were a bit of a maze, but I never took it literally.

'Leave me alone you assholes! What did I do to you?'

'It's what we're going to do to you that counts.'

I knew that voice. My blood ran cold, very, very cold. That squeaky, bratty voice.

Greta Goyle appeared from the shadows.

'Hello Mudblood. How are you this fine evening?'

'Wonderful,' I spat out. 'Now if you just dragged me here to ask me that…'

'Oh, no, I wouldn't waste your time like that. I just remembered our little rendezvous the other day. I liked it so much I thought we should have another.'

She smiled cruelly and Malfoy slammed me against the wall. They all took out their wands. They had made sure to take mine away while I was struggling. Greta was holding it gleefully.

I was struggling with all my might but Malfoy's body was holding me in place and Nott was right behind him.

'You're all sick bastards and you won't get away with it!' I shrieked.

'Yeah, yeah, we've heard that speech before. But we're still here, aren't we? And you're still helpless. You'll find out what it's like to make an enemy out of me,' Greta said smiling. Her brother was behind her, looking on the scene with indifference.

'Don't overdo it Greta,' he said warningly.

'We'll just have a little bit of fuuuun,' she said laughing.

She reminded me of Bellatrix.

Nott cursed me and made my entire body turn still until I couldn't feel anything. Greta slapped me over the face four times and punched me in the jaw pretty hard. My face turned numb from the impact but I knew that it would hurt like hell later.

She also kicked me in the stomach which made he cough like mad.

Avery cast a spell on me and suddenly my skin felt like it was on fire and I was dying to scratch it. Red spots had appeared on it and they were scorching my skin. I yelped in pain.

Malfoy started to rip parts of my dress. His eyes were darker than usual and he looked at my chest like it was a big cake he wanted to eat.

'Give the Mudblood a kiss, Malfoy,' Greta told him, blowing me a kiss.

My shouts came out as low squeaks but my eyes showed my terror.

He closed his mouth over mine meaning to bite my lips but I gathered all the strength I could and managed to turn my head away.

Malfoy started laughing and bit into my neck with pleasure, like he had always wanted to do that.

I suddenly felt this sharp pain when he touched the scar with his lips. I inadvertently thought of Riddle. I inadvertently thought of the almost kiss.

After less than a minute, the door of the corridor banged open. Out of the corner of my eyes I saw a tall figure.

'What do we have here? A select party?'

Tom. He was here…

Greta's face faltered a bit but she quickly pulled a sweet grin at him and took him by the arm.

'You'll be glad to see we're punishing the Mudblood for having tried to annoy me.'

Malfoy had stepped away from me, slightly. But it wasn't as if I could really move away. I was immobilized.

'I can see you did a good job with her face.'

It probably looked red and bruised, I imagined.

'Doesn't she look much better now?' she asked.

'A mild improvement,' he stated indifferently. 'You could have done much better.'

Malfoy smiled ruefully.

'We were just about to take care of her other parts too.'

Riddle stepped towards him with a serene expression on his face.

He flipped his wand slightly and Malfoy was thrown against the opposite wall. It seemed like someone was pulling him up towards the ceiling. He yelped in pain.

'My Lord, what is wrong? What are you doing?!'

'See, that little detail about taking care of her parts, that's not going to suit me,' he said, the same serene expression on his face.

'I don't understand! We're just taking care of the Mudblood! We're just playing around!'

'Yes, that's true and you can play around all you like but do_ not_ touch what is mine.'

'Yours?!' Greta bellowed.

Riddle glared at her and she quickly shut her mouth.

'My Lord, this filthy girl can't be a possession of yours!' Malfoy said, barely being able to breathe as he was pulled higher and higher.

Nott made to step forward to help him but his wand flew into Riddle's hand.

'No, she isn't,' Riddle agreed. 'But that scar is.'

I stared at the whole scene dumbfounded.

'The scar?!' Malfoy echoed. His eyes were as wide as that of an owl.

'That's right. The scar. I'm its possessor' he said quietly. 'You touch it again and you'll regret it. Only I touch her scar. It's my sign. It's mine. I thought you had more sense than that Malfoy. Do I have to punish you for this?'

'It wasn't my idea!' he yelped frightened. 'It was hers!'

He pointed at Greta shaking.

She backed away alarmed and shook her head.

'I never told him to touch the scar! I swear, Tom, I really…'

'She told me to kiss her!' Malfoy yelled over her voice. He was desperate now, I could see it. I realized it wasn't his breathing only that was suffering. He was sweating and burning up.

'She told you to kiss her, did she?'

Greta stepped back and hid behind her brother, holding him like a shield.

'And did you succeed?' he asked.

'No, she turned her head away…' Malfoy answered feebly.

'Good girl,' he muttered under his breath.

'Well, Greta since you're so fond of kissing I think I should grant your wish,' he said and cast an Imperio on her and her brother.

I couldn't look. Right in front of my eyes, I saw Greta and her brother kissing passionately. They were both screaming into each other's mouth, biting into each other's tongues until blood came out. I couldn't take it. I couldn't take this horrible thing. I wanted to move, to close my eyes, but I couldn't.

And they weren't stopping. They were screaming like mad. They knelt on the floor and continued kissing.

Riddle looked around serenely.

'Well, what is everyone looking at? Shouldn't you be giving them some privacy?'

Everyone got the subtle hint and quickly left the corridor.

Riddle looked at Malfoy with a bored expression on his face and swished his wand.

Malfoy fell with a thump on the floor. I could see a red ring around his neck. It was his burnt skin.

I shrank back in horror.

He wheezed and wheedled on the floor like a poor mouse and coughed loudly, spitting blood and saliva.

Riddle turned his attention towards me. I know he had saved me from these people and I was slightly grateful to him, but after having seen what I just saw I didn't know what he would do to me and I felt frightened.

He touched my neck softly, as if trying to soothe it, but after a couple of moment, he dug his fingers into it, hurting me.

'Don't let anyone else touch that, understood? I hate it when people touch what is mine. They stain it. I don't like dirt.'

His fingers brushed over my scar and something in me fluttered, like a powerful wish to squirm away, but at the same time a desire to stay right under the touch.

I couldn't move anyway so I didn't have much of a choice.

'It's your fault if you let anyone touch it. It's my scar.'

After a couple of seconds of staring at me, he suddenly stepped away and made for the door. Before going out he took off the charm that had been placed on me.

But I still stayed rooted to the spot, long after he left. I just couldn't move. Everything I had seen turned my stomach. I wanted to throw up. Malfoy was still writhing on the floor. Greta and her brother were still kissing in the dark. I lowered my eyes and knelt down to get my wand.

My arms had blue marks on them. I hugged myself, hoping I'd chase the cold away. But I had to will myself to move.

I started running down that corridor looking for a way out. It was a long walk but at length, after many turns, I managed to find my way out of the unknown zone.

I was gasping for breath, my dress was slightly torn and I bet my face was more than just swollen.

I reached the girl's bathroom and I stayed under the shower for ages, rinsing every little memory of that last scene out of my head. I think I stayed in there for more than four hours, just thinking.

I touched my red face and tried soothing it, but it still hurt. My skin felt better now and the spots had vanished. But my mind was full of bleak images.

When I finally climbed up to the girls' dorm the place was almost deserted. Only two girls were back from the party and they were chatting away, carelessly.

I had managed to cover a bit of my bruises and I was thankful nothing was broken or too damaged. I think I looked like a mess, but I was just really glad to be safe and sound without any broken limbs. I was away from those awful, awful people.

I put the usual charm on my curtains whenever I went to bed. It ensured no one would be able to pass through them. I was wary of Greta. I imagined her kissing her brother again and a wave of nausea hit me. I couldn't help trembling all over at the memory. Riddle had such a twisted way of showing his power. I couldn't imagine anyone doing that, but him.

I lay in my bed, my head thumping with pain, my hands still shaking slightly.

What a party this had been.

It had started fairly innocent and then it had turned into…this, this surreal Kafka story.

Yes, I was stuck on Kafka. I guess I would always be as long as I was here, in this time.

I tried staying awake a while longer but my eyelids wouldn't listen to me.

I fell into deep slumber. The last thing that went through my mind was Salazar Slytherin's proposal…

_If you give me your blood, I will help you with this Tom Riddle..._


	11. Jealous? an interlude

**Hey guys, I'm back with a new chapter! This one's a lot shorter than the usual because I had to write on someone else's laptop and I didn't indulge myself, so to speak. And I'm quite busy too but the following chaps will be longer. Anyhoo, thanks to _Bre_, _Oola_, _Olivia _and _OMG _for their wonderful reviews and encouragement (it really helps!) and to everyone who reviewed and read the story, you guys make the story go on! Thanks for the wonderful support!**

_Rows of boys and girls_

_Line up to see the world_  
_Candy coated promise_  
_Just out of reach when you want it_

_Give me something sweet_  
_Bring me to the brink_  
_I'll leave without hesitation_  
_To a world without limitation_  
_Rock me patient, slowly_

_Don't say you're not amazed when you know you are_  
_And don't say you're not afraid when you know you are_  
_You know you are_

Mandy Moore-Merrimack river

Chapter 11: Jealous? (an interlude)

I was woken up early in the morning by a fresh and cheerful Victoria. It's like she hadn't even attended the party to begin with. I carefully kept part of my face hidden in my pillow, because I wasn't sure I wanted her to see my bruises. I wouldn't know how to explain how I came by them. I didn't want her to worry for me; besides, I would spoil her mood completely. I was hoping to have some good news after all that mess.

'So there I was, sitting by myself, bored out of my mind because everyone was so dull and uninteresting, and the drinks were also all sour and I specifically asked the house-elf for some juice but he gave me some sort of beer instead...'

'Vicky!'

'Oh, yes! Sorry! So there I was, when all of a sudden, I see Black walking towards the beverage stand. He was looking at me in an odd way. For a moment I thought I had something on my face so I tried to find a mirror, but he was still looking at me and he seemed he wanted to talk to me so I approached him, though I was quite mortified, you can imagine and I said hello. And guess what? We actually talked! And not only that, but after half an hour he proposed we danced since we were in the way of many couples and some of those people were glaring at us. Well, I almost fainted when he asked me! Of course we were both terrible at it and we stopped after five minutes, but still, Black actually asked me to dance! True, he was very shy about it and after our attempt he politely excused himself, but he said he wanted to continue our discussion! What a night!'

I smiled slyly from under my pillow. Well, I tried to crack a smile. I felt like one of those plump cherubs throwing darts of love everywhere. If only.

Those cherubs don't wear bruises. And they are not hated for what they are. Love is never loathed, though it is the biggest cause of sufferance. Only Muggleborns are loathed because they didn't pick their parents right.  
Try as I might, I couldn't stop feeling bad. I wanted to be happy for Vicky, but at the same time, reality obliged me to take a hard look at those around me. There were people like Vicky, who deep down, were kind and gentle but they were raised in an environment that didn't encourage that sort of depth. There were people like Black, innocent wizards that were victims of stronger minds. They were bound by the power of others.

And then there were people like Greta Goyle, who only relished in hurting everyone else, slighting them, making them feel like dirt. I supposed deep down she hated herself and she didn't want anyone to know that so she hated everyone else. Ron would say by now:

'Oh, come off it Hermione! She's just a crazy bint, don't try to excuse her!'

And maybe he'd be right. Oh, how I miss Ron! The boys wouldn't have let this happen to me. I wouldn't have let this happen to me. But it did. Just like getting hit to the ground when you're flying and you feel strong. Suddenly brute force is all it takes. And the fall just angers me. Like any fall.

'I'm glad you had a lovely evening,' I mumbled trying to sound at least a little bit cheerful.

'It was really wonderful. How did you fare?'

'Not so good...I got bored and left early. People weren't being very nice and I can't say I was enjoying the crowd either,' I told her.  
'Oh, yes, I noticed you left early. Dorcas came to tell me he had been looking for you everywhere but couldn't find you. I saw you dancing with him.'  
'Myes, but I ran away quickly after the dance was over,' I mentioned.  
'Oh, I see. Poor chap, he didn't know he was rejected. But I think he likes you.'  
'What?'

'Dorcas, he fancies you. I mean why else would he search for you so persistently? He told me you are very pretty. He said he had noticed you before, at the Prefect Rounds. He mentioned you were kind enough not to tell on his sister who was snogging some boy in the Astronomy Tower. He kept saying you were very nice.'  
'Oh, well, he shouldn't like me. I'm not interested.'

'You might rethink that when you see his house. It's like a chateau.'  
'I don't really care all that much. I'm done with all these men,'I said bitterly, shivering as I remembered Malfoy touching me. I really didn't like any man right now, save for my dad maybe.  
'How very feminist of you,' she said smiling.

We chatted some more after which Victoria went to bed, luckily without noticing my bruises. She was so happy, she didn't pay attention to that, her head was in the clouds. I was grateful for that. I was grateful for those concealing charms as well. Magic helped me heal, but why didn't I use it to fight?

* * *

My pain was assuaged for a while. I had something to think about and I had a lot of work. Exams were approacing. And I wanted to ace them all. Not just because I wanted to study, but I wanted to show the Slytherins that blood will never stop me. Nor will their horrible attempts to quiet me. Yes, the pain inside of me did threaten to take over me, but I had so much work to do that sometimes I even forgot I was in Slytherin. There were rare moments when I felt I was in my old common room and I would look up, trying to find a friendly face and I'd meet the eyes of some cold witch that would be reading Teen Witch, asking me 'What?' in a very offended tone. Sometimes I'd draw close to the fire and I'd see Harry sitting next to me, reading and I would extend my hand to touch his but I would only touch cold marble. And it was like that every day.

Christmas was also approaching. I had never spent Christmas alone, without my family and friends. I realised that this year, it would all be very depressing. Vicky, Bridget, Catherine and Lucille would be going back home for the holiday. None of them would invite me to come because their parents would never allow it. Everyone in school would be gone and I would be left alone, without exams to worry about, without any sort of company, without and laughs, without any Weasley pranks, without any presents. I would have to sit around and look at the snow falling outside.

As December approached faster and faster, I became aware of a couple of important things. First, I was in the middle of the Second World War. The muggle world was at great peril. All throughout the world people were suffering from hunger, cold or any damage brought by a devastating war. I read all the newspapers I could find but precious little information was given in them. All of a sudden I felt very selfish. All this time I had worried about trivial things, like Riddle's mind games, when the entire world was at war. I knew from the start these were desperate times, I had just tried to ignore this for as long as I could.

One of the Ravenclaw Prefects told me he had a cousin living in Holland and all his Jewish friends had been deported to unknown places. Of course, I knew about those horrid, monstrous concentration camps. My heart squirmed in my chest because I was here, in this time, and I didn't know what I could do to help. I knew the war would eventually end, but couldn't I try to prevent all those deaths?

A lot of Gryffindors were also worried about the war, especially the Muggleborn ones. Mary Finnegan told me the situation in Ireland was very difficult. A lot of leprechauns had died and a lot of fairies had vanished because of the muggle war. She also told me that even some wizards were almost hurt, but they managed to escape. She didn't know the gravity of the situation. It was much worse than that. People died every minute.

David Potter told me his father had sent food and amunition to the muggles through the Prime Minister. I was glad to hear some wizards were attempting to help. What could I do?

The second thing I became aware of was that the weather was very odd. It was a lot warmer than usual. Our Care for Magical Creatures professor told us that some giants had started migrating to other mountains because the snow had started to melt. It was was more like a breezy spring than the beginning of winter.

I wanted to remain calm, but I admit, I was anxious and scared. And my sobriety only took me this far. Soon I was drunk with worries. Usually, worrying is my favourite sport, now it was something similar to homework.

Despite all this, a lot of children here were happy for the arrival of Christmas. It was better to be happy than defeated and miserable. That never helped.  
I took my exams towards the end of December with a heavy heart. I would find out the results in January and until then I was left to worry some more.  
I watched everyone pack their luggage around me and I saw the smiles on their faces, the 'I'm going home' smile. I wouldn't be experiencing that soon. A smile like that was forbidden for me.

* * *

On December 23, however, I woke up with a small smile on my face. All those nasty Slytherin idiots had left, including Goyle, Nott, Avery, Malfoy and so forth. I was called in the Headmaster's office. I was surprised to see Dumbledore there, waiting for me with an expectant smile on his face. He was bearing good news. Dippet himself was immersed in some papers so he let his colleague speak for him.

'Miss Greystone, I have talked to Headmaster Dippet about your situation at school here and we both agreed you should enjoy Christmas in a real home, not at school. Due to your excellent results, we think you deserve to spend Christmas at home, this year. What do you think?'

'But, Sir,' I said shyly, 'I have no home to speak of.'

'Well, home is a general word that can have many meanings. One of those meanings is _my _home. Would you like to spend Christmas with me?'

I was dumbfounded. Dumbledore, asking me to spend Christmas with him? I felt like Minerva McGonagall in her thirties. I didn't know what to say. I was too shocked. Not even Harry had seen Dumbledore's home. I would be the first? Was I really that special?

'I guess that would be nice,' I replied after he coughed, demanding an answer. 'But I wouldn't like to trouble you, Sir.'

'Oh, no, it's a pleasure to have such a bright student in my home.'

And just like that, I was going to spend Christmas with none other than Dumbledore. The prospect seemed unfathomable.

* * *

Later that evening I had Prefect Rounds.

What with all this turmoil inside my heart and around the world, I had no time for Riddle. I didn't stop to think too much of him, but I did. Who wouldn't really? He was that constant reminder that I was going bonkers, that constant bugger, the fly in my Chardonnay. He was also once again unreadable. I couldn't decipher his intentions at all. After him having prevented those Slytherins from beating me up like dogs, I had tried to be a little nicer to him, because my conscience told me so, but in two weeks or less, my annoyance returned. He had once again turned evasive and odd and ridiculously nonchalant. I think all the cold of winter was absorbed by his being, that's why it was so warm outside. I didn't care about it, as long as he didn't bother me.

But tonight I was unusually excited because of the new change in plans with me and Dumbledore. I think he noticed it because he kept mocking me about it.

'Something big happened in your life, Greystone? You discovered how to use your wand?'

'And you probably discovered humour tonight,' I replied. 'No, I'm just happy. Can't I be?'

'But there must be a reason for your happiness.'

'Wouldn't you like to know...'

'Curiosity didn't kill the cat,' he said dryly.

'Oh, aren't you clever? Sadly, it does not work that way.'

I hadn't noticed I had let my guard down and I instantly felt him getting inside my head and my scar tingled. I raised my shields but it was too late. He was very fast and smooth. I had a strange deja vu. I felt like Harry when Voldemort entered his thoughts. Only I couldn't really enter Riddle's, like Harry did.

'Stop it!' I yelled shaking my head. 'You have absolutely no right to do that.'

'Says in what book of laws, Greystone?' he asked indifferent.

'How about moral ones?!'

'Oh, that. The stupidest thing man ever created. The most boring too. So, Dumbledore, eh? He invited you? He never invites anyone to his home.'

I could feel a tinge of envy in his reply. Good, let him suffer. He wanted to be close to Dumbledore because he sensed his great powers. Unfortunately, he wasn't stupid. Now, I seemed like the teacher's pet.

'Jealous?' I countered.

'Yes,' he replied, boring his eyes into mine.

'Well, maybe next year you'll have a better chance. Bring some sweets on a silver tray to get in his good graces. Make it lemon sherbet,' I replied acidly.

'Seems like you don't hold him in high esteem.'

'No, it's not like that at all,' I told him. He had put words in my mouth once again! 'You always have to have some smart line, don't you?'

'I just drew the reasonable conclusion. You seem very wary of him. You avoid him and do not want to be in his presence. Hmmm, you might be right. It might be something else. Would you care to tell me?'

I turned as white as a sheet. How on Earth did he know all this? Was it that obvious? Was he watching me in particular? Was he in my head again?

You just never knew.

'And spoil the surprise? Never,' I countered turning away from him.

He was about to say something when suddenly, I saw someone approaching us. It was Dorcas. He was earing his shiny badge at his waist. I almost felt like giggling.

'Evening lads, hello _Jane_, how is the night progressing?' he asked us. For once, Riddle and I had the same expression. Slightly confused.

'Any catches?' he repeated.

'Oh, no, not really. Everything is quiet,' I told him.

'Too bad, I would've wanted some entertainment tonight,' he said nonchalantly. I noticed he was trying to seem cool and composed, but he wasn't very good at it. His hands kept flying about his body like he was ready to take off.

'Glad to run into you, _Jane_, I wanted to ask you what your holiday plans are. I didn't get to ask you.'

'Oh, I think I'm staying in the castle,' I replied, hoping Riddle wouldn't ruin it for me. He remained surprisingly quiet.

'In the castle?! How is that possible?'

'Well, Hogwarts is a lovely home so I won't be feeling lonely. And I quite like it here.'

'Oh, but had I known I could have stayed too, to keep you company because Christmas in my family is quite dull.'

Bollocks, he did fancy me.

'Goodness, don't trouble yourself! It's nothing. Go spend time with your family. They're much more important, especially now,' I said.

'Well, you're special too, _Jane_. Um, when I return, we should go have a drink together, maybe get to know each other, since we're working together.'

Was Riddle glaring at Dorcas? No, just my imagination.

'Yes, I should get to know the Head Boy,' I joked.

'So then, it's a date _Jane_...'

'For the love of Merlin,' Riddle suddenly muttered. We both turned to him surprised.

'You want to say something Riddle?' Dorcas asked a bit offended.

'Actually, _Dorcas_, I do. First off, stop calling her _Jane _like it's your grandmother's chocolate pudding that you fantasize about in the middle of the night. Second, try hitting yourself with a book on subtlety on the head, maybe then you'll get somewhere. Third, you two don't work together. You were given a pathetic position in order to quiet down your ridiculously stupid and rich father.'

I think my mouth fell to the floor.

Dorcas' wasn't doing a good job either.

Riddle had said all those things in such a serene way, you'd think by his tone he was trying to give him advice.

Dorcas tried opening his mouth, but he looked like a fish trying to breathe on land. I pitied him. But I was shamefully relieved.

'Do you have something to add?' Riddle asked, daring him to speak.

Dorcas made to take out his wand but Riddle was already holding his. He saw he was glaring at him menacingly so he stepped back and shook his head confused.

'I...you...no.'

'I didn't think so. Well, then, let's not waste anymore of our time. Merry Christmas and goodbye,' he said and Dorcas shuffled slowly away, like a prisoner sent back to his cell.

When he was out of range, Riddle turned to me.

'You're welcome.'

'You know, I didn't ask you to fend for me. I actually like that boy,' I lied. 'What was that all about?'

'You don't like him. And I can't stand idiots like him,' he replied simply.

'Idiots like him?'

'Yes. Their sole purpose in life is to demonstrate how idiotic they really are.'

'So then... I'm not an idiot?' I asked, curious to know in which neat category he'd place me.

'No, but you're quite good at it.'

'Ugh, I knew it. You just can't admit that Muggleborns can be intelligent. You can't admit that they are equal to everyone.'

'No, I just don't admit _you _being my equal. Because there's no such thing, _Jane_.'

'Some day, you'll be proven wrong,' I told him folding my hands. 'And then you'll swallow your words.'

'I'll make sure that day never comes,' he said smoothly.

'And if it does, notwithstanding?' I asked upset.

'Let's hope for your sake, it doesn't,' he replied. He turned away and walked past me, his chest almost hitting mine.

As he walked away I realised I hadn't asked him about his Christmas plans.


	12. Who is afraid of the Big Bad Dumbledore?

**So, it's almost two in the morning guys, but I just had a crazy urge to continue the chapter I'd started some days ago. I am truly going insane. Yep. Definitely. So, this is a reeeeally early (but late into the night for me) update. I really hope you like it, because this was a pretty difficult chapter to write. We get a lot of Dumbledore and a lot of questions and answers. Thanks so much reviewers and readers, you guys make_ fanfictionnet_ be what it is, pure awesomeness! Thanks again to my anonymous reviewers for their constant and wonderful reviews and for their attachment to the story, which I really appreciate:)

* * *

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_Yesterday's behind me in a yellow cab_  
_ pulling out a pocket full of cash_  
_ a shadow in the rain_  
_ a spark inside the brain_  
_ catches a glimpse of glasses and a fake mustache_  
_ never far behind_  
_ never far behind_  
_ never far from raising all the shadows in my mind_

Jay Clifford- Yesterday's Move

Chapter 12: Who is afraid of the Big Bad Dumbledore? 

If there was ever a man that could always surprise me that was Dumbledore. I never could figure out a pattern of his actions, I could never predict his stream of thoughts. It was as if his mind was independent from his body.

I could, in all earnest, do that with others because everyone else just fell into a neat category of life that I could observe. Adults and teenagers alike, they all fitted somewhere and they all had a tag. It could be a creative one or even an interesting one, but it was still a tag. And I'm not saying this to claim that I am not bound by these stereotypes as well. No, I'm pretty much in the common stream and my tags are more or less a bother, but I have the luxury of observing these quaint little things, I have the comfort of being conscious of them, whereas some people claim they do not exist.

Now Dumbledore, you'd expect to see him tagged as a friendly, wise, strong grandfather-figure. But you'd probably be wrong. This man is certainly kind and caring, but he's just about everything you'd never imagine. He can be very cold and withdrawn when he wants to and he can be just as manipulative as Riddle when he wishes to, only his manipulation most likely than not serves a right cause. Still, he makes use of some means to get to his goal and some of those means might not be called legitimate.

He's also hungry for knowledge and keen on knowing and absorbing as much as possible. This might not be obvious, but his actions certainly say that he would do a great deal of things for knowledge. But some things he wouldn't. And that's where he and Riddle differ the most.

Dumbledore wouldn't sacrifice some things for knowledge, because he understands the greater importance and value of those things, whereas Riddle does not. In my opinion, he is not really aware of anything else than power and all it entails. Dumbledore does not wish to know solely for power. Sometimes he wishes to know simply to divert himself, but most likely, in order to help someone.

Yes, this man helps you whether you like it or not. It is his biggest and most dangerous weapon. Imagine forcefully helping someone when they do not want to. That person can't protest or say that you are harming them, that person just falls into your trap and waits to see what you'll do next, hoping that you'll stop being kind to them, which is insane. Imagine people begging you to stop being kind. Dumbledore learnt a long time ago that kindness can be a real sore when used properly.

He has helped me as well, against my will.

How do I know all this? It's taken some time to refine this description, but my holiday with him certainly helped me rediscover him and rediscover myself, in a way.

* * *

On December 24 I left the snowy grounds of Hogwarts believing I would spend a wonderful week with Dumbledore in a warm house, a cup of hot tea in my lap, chatting with a dear, dear friend.

It felt odd traveling with Dumbledore to his home, it felt like discovering a new, unexplored territory. During the train ride, he spoke little to me. He was dressed for winter, in a fine, woolen coat and had a silly-looking cap on his head that he somehow managed to wear with grace. On anyone else it would have looked insane.

He spent most of the ride eating sweets in a very slow fashion. I read a newspaper, but from time to time, I sneaked a look at him and he was either popping a piece of candy in his mouth or he was examining the contents of his suitcase.

The only words he said to me were:

'It looks like it will be a gentle winter, Miss Greystone.'

For the rest of the ride, we remained silent and drowsy.

In London, he refused to Apparate with me, though I assured him it wouldn't be a problem. He insisted I should first take the Appartion exam.

I didn't have the heart to complain much so we took another train, this time a muggle one.

During this ride, he spoke relentlessly. Only about school, mind you.

He talked to me about my grades, my exams, my classmates, my teachers, my detentions, my uniform, everything you could imagine.

But we didn't tackle any other subject. He said he was happy I was managing well at Hogwarts, though I had had a rough beginning. He said he was impressed with my academic achievements and that he expected great things from me in the future, but he didn't say this like he would tell this to Hermione Granger.

As we were talking, I looked out the window from time to time to see where we were going. And for a moment, a small pang of fear did rush through me, because the lands looked desolate and forlorn. It wasn't snowing, it wasn't raining, it was just cold and empty. Or so it seemed from my window.

'How do you find the Prefect's bathroom? I particularly enjoy watching that mermaid, or at least I did when I was a Prefect,' he confessed, smiling longingly.

I didn't know what to say to that.

'She's very pretty,' I mumbled.

'Oh, she's exquisite. Although, I remember in my Fifth Year, she was almost killed by a man in a portrait who fell madly in love with her. We were all worried, but eventually, it came to nothing because the mermaid just swallowed him. Strong woman, isn't she?'

'Oh…how gruesome. I didn't know this particular story.'

'Well, how could you unless you went back to my Fifth Year at Hogwarts?' he asked, smiling. 'That was a very long time ago.'

I felt another pang of fear rush through me.

'Was it?'

'Oh, you were just a figment of possibility of your great-great grandmother, if you really had one.'

'I must have had one,' I declared, trying to sound nonchalant.

'Yes, indeed. Tell me, have you used any owls recently?'

'Oh, no. I didn't have anyone to write to,' I answered.

'Oh, that is very sad. I do enjoy writing letters at least once a month,' he said smiling.

At this point I felt I needed to take a breath of fresh air so I left the compartment.

When we made our final stop, we were in a small, very old-fashioned village that looked as old as the Battle of Hastings. I didn't see any electricity cables or any sort of amenities anywhere. There was one in called Red Grave and a couple of quaint shops, butcher's and baker's, but beyond that, only rows of tiny houses.

We took a small chaise to the other end of the village where I spotted a very bright looking house with red shutters and flowers at the window, even if it was very cold outside. There was also a garden of vegetables in the back, a stable and a barn. There was an old donkey in the stable that could barely stand up and the barn was shut firmly with a lock.

I gleefully walked up the path to the door because I was starting to freeze.

He gestured with his hand that I should go in and I did. The house seemed very quiet. In the entrance hall, there were many small boots and shoes scattered on the floor. Children? Or maybe house-elves?

I wasn't sure.

It smelled like ginger-bread and hot sponge cake inside. It felt wonderful. We entered a living room that was decorated with a floral design.

'Well! I thought you'd never come back, Sir! The little'uns are sleeping in the back, best not to wake them up, else they cause a riot!'

I almost jumped at the sound of her voice. When I turned my head, I saw a stodgy, tall woman, wearing a green apron and a pair of black burnt gloves. Her hair was red and ruffled and she looked she like was just holding her breath.

'Ah, Patty I would've arrived earlier, but I had a young lady to attend to,' he said presenting me to the woman.

'This is Miss Greystone, a student of mine. She will be staying with us this Christmas.'

'Oh, will she? Oh, dear, come here and let me get that coat off of ye! I'm Mrs. Peters, but you can call me Patty. I bet you're a poor child who has nowhere to spend Christmas. Master Albus loves to bring those children here! And I know you're very special, else he wouldn't honour ye with the treat!'

'I am very grateful,' I nodded shyly. 'I don't really have a home right now.'

'Oh, so many children without a home! It breaks my heart!' she wailed. 'Oh, Master Albus, I'll make that strawberry cake you love so much, I bet you'll like it too!'

'Strawberries, in winter?' I asked surprised.

'Oh, I keep them well, don't I?' she said gleefully as she took out her wand.

'Patty is one of the finest Herbologists you'll ever find,' Dumbledore said. 'I even offered her a place at the school, but she just loves the country too much to settle there.'

'Oh, I wouldn't give up this home for a castle even if you paid me like a queen! Besides, castles are very cold and empty, aren't they?'

I nodded smiling. I was beginning to like her.

'I have always said you are too modest, Patty,' Dumbledore replied, smiling.

'Well, we should go to the house then,' he added.

I looked at him surprised.

'Aren't we in it, Sir?'

'Oh, no. This is Patty's house. She lives here with her children. We live in the barn.'

Statements like that in the real world would cause a shocked and confused expression. A flicker of realization crossed my face. Of course Dumbledore would never be so easy to find.

We went out the back door, through the kitchen, which was crowded with all sorts of plants and smelt like saffron and we made our way through the back garden, surrounded the stable and stopped in front of the locked barn door.

Dumbledore closed his eyes for a moment as he placed his hand on the locks. They disappeared like smoke and he pushed the door open.

'After you, Miss Greystone.'

I reluctantly stepped inside. I knew I would be amazed. And I was right.

The apartment had two spacious floors and a winding staircase that connected them. It was very warm inside and I was expecting to see a lot of red and gold for some reason but I was only met with shades of dark brown and beige.

Everything was kept in perfect order. There wasn't much furniture, it looked a bit austere. The living room was packed with books and journals of all kind. There was a leather sofa in front of a fireplace and a couple of armchairs, there was a wizard radio in a corner, an odd silver gadget that looked like a huge spoon hanging on the wall and…there was a cat sleeping on a rug in front of the fireplace.

'That's Mrs. Norris, my cat,' he told me smiling.

I jumped surprised. Mrs. Norris?

'Is the name familiar to you?' he asked raising an eyebrow.

'No, it just seems odd to name a cat Mrs.'

'Well, I am not a very common person,' he said.

There were pictures on the walls, most of them static nature. One of them caught my eye. It showed a beautiful bowl full of spoilt, bruised apples. And next to the bowl, there was a ripe, red big apple. But it was placed somehow in midair, like it was going to fall into the bowl soon. Still, you got the feeling it wouldn't. It wouldn't fall.

'It's called, _Falling Apples_. It was painted by a Flemish wizard,' he explained.

'Oh, it's very beautiful,' I remarked.

'Yes, it actually depicts immortality.'

'Immortality?'

'I know because the painter was a friend of mine. He revealed this intention to me hoping I would understand. I admit, at first I did not. But then, as you gaze at it a bit longer, you start to realize that all the spoilt apples are placed together in an object they cannot escape from. That would be life. The ripe apple is detached from the bowl for the time being. Once it reaches the bowl, it will die as well. He was a man of subtlety.'

'What happened to him?'

'He died of madness, I'm afraid. But his son, Nicholas, took over his legacy. I hope he will continue his father's studies. Old Flamel never got too far I'm afraid.'

I almost flinched again but I managed to control myself.

'Have you heard of him?' he asked.

'It sounds familiar.'

'Perhaps because he was an alchemist.'

'Perhaps,' I replied. 'He studied immortality?'

'Don't all alchemists in a way? He never got very far. He only managed to find an answer to ageing. But not dying.'

'I see. That higher level escapes his grasp.'

'Indeed. But he always held the confidence that one day he would find the secret.'

'A man can only live through his dreams,' I added.

'That is a nice way of seeing it. But, no, Flamel didn't know the answer was quite simple. That's because he searched for a way to reach immortality without damaging his humanity.'

'Then…' I concluded, 'this painting represents his despair. It shows that he has tried over and over again to find the right path, but he realised the answer is one that would take him beyond life, separate from his peers and loved ones. He_ did_ know the answer.'

Dumbledore smiled pleased.

'Clever girl. I knew I wasn't mistaken about you. It's true,' he nodded.

We stared at each other for a moment or two. I held my breath. Was he going to tell me what the supposed answer was?

'Where are my manners? You must be tired,' he said excusing himself. 'I will show you your room.'

We walked up the stairs and into a dim-lit corridor, full of candles. It reminded me of Hogwarts.

He turned to the second door and opened it.

The room seemed a bit small from the entrance, but it was cosy and it was adorned with blue wallpaper and a wooden desk. On the desk I saw a clutter of books. My smile widened.

The bed was far too big for me but it looked very comfortable.

'I'll let you settle in. When you are ready, come downstairs and have some tea, will you?'

I nodded and turned to my room. In a moment, he was gone.

I went to the desk in a fury and looked over the books. Two were about Magical Creatures, three about Counter Hexes, one about Venoms, three about Arithmancy and one about Time Accidents.

I eyed them carefully. I knew Dumbledore was keeping an eye on me. I could feel it every single moment I spent with him. He was like a hawk, bent on finding the missing clue. And he had placed these on purpose.

I opened the Venoms book and sat down on my bed and read.

I would not open the Time Accidents one.

I hadn't had a chance to relax around him, so now that I was all alone, I couldn't help but let out a breath and sink my body into the warm pillows. I soon fell asleep.

When I woke up, it was already eight o'clock.

I dressed up quickly and went downstairs.

He was sitting in the living room, with a cup of tea in his hands, watching the fire flames.

I was very thirsty and hungry so I joined him quickly.

'I see you took a nap. Are you more rested now?'

'Yes, I am, thank you Sir.'

I noticed for the first time, Dumbledore was dressed in a more casual way. I had never seen him dressed like this.

He was wearing a grey sweater, black trousers and…yellow slippers?

His hair was neatly tied back with a piece of string.

'Excuse my informal attire, I like to feel at ease here.'

'Oh, don't trouble yourself, Sir,' I quickly said. I probably looked ridiculous. I had put on one of my best dresses.

We drank tea quietly and we chatted pleasantly about Mrs. Patty and her children. I could see we were both still tired so we spent little time talking, we just sat there quietly, enjoying the silence and the rest.

He left early for bed, but I chose to stay a while longer in the living room.

When I did finally drudge my feet back up the stairs, I couldn't help looking around a bit more.

The room at the back of the corridor seemed the only one that was inhabited because I heard movement inside it. It was probably Dumbledore's room.

I approached it as quietly as possible and I sharpened my ears.

What I heard was something like someone moving some heavy objects about the room. A chill went through me and I ran back to my room.

* * *

The following day, I woke up late, at ten but breakfast was already set on my desk. This felt a bit odd. I hadn't seen any house elves or helpers around the house. Had Dumbledore brought it in?

I ate greedily and after I finished, the plate disappeared, leaving behind a green card on which wrote:

_'Merry Christmas, may all your wishes come true!'_ It smelt like mint and it glowed like a star.

Only then did I realize, it was Christmas! The first morning of Christmas!

And just on cue, I heard some soft carols just outside my door. I opened it slightly. Dumbledore was humming happily as he climbed up the stairs.

'Merry Christmas, Miss Greystone! Just the person I wanted to see! Now, I know you're expecting presents, but we still don't have everything ready so you will receive them tonight. How does that sound?'

I agreed happily and he proposed we went to do some Christmas shopping.

'Would you care to come with me?' he asked.

'Certainly, Sir, I would like that.'

I thought we would be going to Diagon's Alley because most people do their shopping there, but then again Dumbledore isn't most people.

We walked out of the house and strangely enough, Dumbledore started towards the forest that could be seen towards the end of the village, just at the foot of a hill.

'Sir, might I ask where we're going?' I inquired, unsettled.

'Oh, sorry, we're going to go get a Christmas tree.'

'Oh! Well, that should be fun,' I spoke relieved. I hurried up, walking briskly next to him. It had snowed very little, but enough to set my mood.

Finally, I would be feeling some Christmas spirit.

When Dumbledore had mentioned shopping, it hadn't been a metaphor. He had actually meant shopping. Dear God.

'Welcome, lads and lasses, to Arnold's Pine House, how can I be of service?'

A midget was talking with us from behind an improvised counter. We were standing in a tiny cottage that smelt vaguely of rancid cheese. And we were in the middle of the forest.

'Sorry, but you don't own the forest, do you?' I inquired.

'Own it? Own it? Why, I'll have you know Miss, it was passed down from twelve generations of Hogglers!'

'Hogglers? Isn't that a breed of midgets?'

'Breed? We're not a breed! We are the noble family of the Hogglers, old as time and strong as nails! We've been the fathers of the forest for quite some time!'

Dumbledore winked at me and shrugged his shoulders.

'Yes, I am well acquainted with your honourable family, Mr. Arnold,' he said smiling. 'My young one here doesn't know your kind.'

'Well, I wouldn't be surprised! All you Purebloods care about your own family tree, but I can wager that my line is older than all your ancestors,' he replied.

I was about to correct him about my blood, but Dumbledore placed a hand on my shoulder which willed me to stay quiet.

At length, he took us through the "secluded" parts of the forest and recommended some of the better firs we could choose from.

We both decided on a small and modest one. The midget touched it and wrote a number on it.

'Alright, to Mr. Dumbledore then,' he said addressing him. 'You should have it back in ten days.'

'We're renting it then?' I asked Dumbledore.

'Of course, what did you expect?'

'It's a very good move. If it was done in the real world, it would save many trees.'

'I believe so. But it is quite expensive.'

After he made the down payment, the midget promised the Christmas Tree would be delivered that afternoon, complete with Hoggler family decorations.

I didn't say anything, but when we finally left the forest, I dared to ask Dumbledore.

'Why did he say I was a Pureblood?'

'Arnold has known me for some years, but he always treats me with dignity and pride, like any midget of his line. He also thinks I'm a Pureblood. He doesn't do services for anyone of a "lower" standing.'

'But why?'

'It's 1943. Not exactly the year to be tolerant, don't you think?' he asked, winking.

We walked about the village a while longer and he showed me some of the oldest houses, but at length, we returned home.

At five o'clock, the Christmas Tree arrived. It was placed in a giant pot and was adorned with green, wooden looking trinkets. They appeared to be trolls. But not just normal trolls. Trolls getting killed by midgets. The scene looked like a medieval battle.

Dumbledore told me to decorate the tree as I liked. I took out those horrid decorations and put on some lights and globes, but I didn't stuff it. It looked quite pretty at the end.

Afterwards we had a very big Christmas dinner that seemed to last forever. I ate everything, ranging from roasted duck to chocolate ginger bread. We even toasted some wine. I felt quite drowsy and cheerful. We ate in the small kitchen that looked very festive and colourful for the event. I suppose Mrs. Patty had arranged that. Later in the evening, to my joy, she joined us with her four little children.

She brought her strawberry cake and tea and we all had another big meal which quite frankly left me stuffed. I couldn't even breathe anymore.

The children were lovely. They sang in front of the story, we told jokes and stories and we even played a few games. It almost felt like home.

Suddenly, one of the children exclaimed:  
'Presents under the Christmas Tree! Mommy, presents, presents!'

Dumbledore smiled slyly. Mrs. Patty took out many heavy boxes that had somehow appeared under the tree.

There were about three for everyone. I unwrapped mines and I discovered inside some very useful Dark Arts detectors that I had seen in Moody's room last year.

Dumbledore maybe didn't know, but they came in hand, especially with Riddle, they would be very helpful.

But, what if he did know? What if he had given them on purpose?

I didn't elaborate on that, however, because I was absorbed by the excitement of the others. The children had received toys, sweets and magical gadgets. Soon, flying machineries were threatening to break the glass chandelier.

Mrs. Patty had to jump after them because she couldn't aim her wand at them. We almost died of laughter.

The warmth, the children, the laughter, Mrs. Patty watching over us as she poured some tea, Dumbledore sitting in an armchair serenely, telling a story about a bewitched snowman, it was all brilliant.

* * *

It was almost midnight when the children finally fell asleep. They were taken up to bed and Mrs. Patty joined them gratefully because she had truly exhausted herself with this Christmas day.

'Will there be room for everyone?' I inquired.

'Of course, they spend time with me here all the time,' he answered.

We were sitting by the fire, drinking hot cocoa.

'Much better than tea, isn't it?'

'Yes, very.'

A peaceful silence had fallen on the room. The Christmas Tree was glowing in the dark.

'Thank you for the presents, Sir. They were wonderful.'

'I'm glad you liked them. I think you'll put them to good use.'

'Oh, I will.'

'I would caution you though that they have a restricted power. You won't be able to sense Mr. Riddle all the time.'

My head snapped up at light speed.

'It's not easy to. Half the time, his mind is well concealed by other minds. He sticks to the group. It's a school, mind you. A chaotic web of minds.'

'Sir, I…I don't wish to harm him, I just want to be safe from him.'

There was a pause.

'See, Miss Greystone, I think you're a very bright and kind young girl. I appreciate that in a human being. You are also a liar.'

I opened my mouth to say something but he waved his hand.

'No, let's not waste time with denials. You're a liar. That's true. Are you a good liar? Well, I wouldn't use that adjective. You're not thick, but you certainly aren't used to telling lies. Not these kinds of lies. Isn't that right?'

'I don't understand…'

'I checked just about every Greystone in the country and none of them have ever heard of you,' he said pointing at me. 'But that's not really important. Just a mere casualty. I would've lied as well. Probably better. But I know it's hard for you to take all this stress in, so I can understand.'

I looked down, too embarrassed to meet his eyes.

'You're not daft, you probably knew I would find out soon. So, this was just a temporary identity, a temporary plan. Until you got back to your time.'

'M-my time?' I choked.

'It's quite obvious. From the beginning, you entered Hogwarts as a Sixth Year, fully prepared to take your load, and no matter how much your aunt might have taught you, this could be possible only if you attended Hogwarts before. The examination you took showed me just that. You knew the classes all too well. You had no problem finding your way around the place the first few days and you seemed to know a lot more about Houses than you let on. Talking to the Hat to let you in Gryffindor? That would mean that you did, at one point, belong in Gryffindor. And you cherished the House.

Another point of interest was young Mr. Riddle. Right away, you seemed to know a lot more about him than an average student crossing Hogwarts for the first time would. Your little escapade with him to the Forest was your attempt at trying to stop him because you knew about the Chamber of Secrets. Also, your affection towards some Gryffindors such as Finnigan, Potter, Weasley might suggest further acquaintance. Not to mention, your entirely naïve attitude about the prejudices of the time, led me to believe that you did not grow up in this time, that you are used to more liberal and tolerant times where Muggleborns are seen in a different light. Your constant reading on Time Travelling and the Dark Arts is another indicative sign.

Also, the fact that from all the books I gave you, the one you didn't touch was Time Accidents makes me think you know I suspect you. I know I can be quite intimidating. Finally, your reactions to the possibility of traveling back to my Fifth year, your surprise at hearing the name Mrs. Norris, your knowledge of the Flamel family, but particularly Nicholas, further my certainty that you are from another time. You came here by accident and you wish to go back. From all the information I've gathered, you come from the future.'

I looked at him in astonishment.

He was a magnificent observer. He had noticed all of these things, small and big and had put them together in a very rational web. I knew it was inevitable, I knew my lies were too weak and frail, but for him to know everything so well was just remarkable. I had to stare in awe.

'Everything you said is quite right, Sir,' I told him meekly. 'You have discovered just about everything.'

'How long did you think it would take?'

'The lie? I do not know. I used a Time Turner to save my life and I ended up here. I just wanted to go back. My time…my time needs me.'

'I am sure it does. After all, the way I see it, in your time, Mr. Riddle is an enemy to you. Just as much as he is now.'

'He's…he's not Riddle anymore in my time. But he is someone we need to stop.'

'We?'

'My friends and I. It's our mission. And you, Sir, are helping us do that.'

His brows rose considerably.

'I always suspected he would end up more than just a bad sort, I even thought he would end up dead, unfortunately. How awful is he then?'

'He is a lot more demented than Grindelwald, I can tell you that.'

Dumbledore furrowed his brows.

'Then he should be stopped right away.'

'That is why I need to get back to my friends. They are probably worried and they need me,' I insisted.

'Then why were you brought here?' Dumbledore asked.

'What do you mean, Sir?'

'A Time-Turner, that usually goes back to six hours at the most, brought you back a couple of years, didn't it?'

'I am trying to find the mystery to that myself, I confess.'

'Well, once again, just like in the case of my friend, Flamel, the answer is probably simple. Where were you when you used it?'

'I was being attacked, at the Department of Mysteries.'

'That is why your body was found there,' he replied. 'And you found a Time Turner at the Department of Mysteries?'

'Well, yes…'

'Hmm, that would be a bit impossible, don't you think?'

'How do you mean, Sir?'

'Well, last time a Time Turner was left there was 1856. After a couple of not very pleasant wars and accidents caused by time in that period, they were effectively removed from the place. They are held in less…accessible places now.'

'I don't understand, I am telling the truth. I did get hold of one and that's how I escaped a Death Curse.'

'Hmmm, very odd indeed. Well, I suppose then that you were meant to come here. If the Time Turner sent you back here then this is your past.'

'This can't be my past, I have another life in another time. This has just been a very bad malfunctioning.'

'Isn't strange though, how it brought you in this period of time? How you are Riddle's age? If he is such a big threat in the future, then I assume that you coming here and being his age is a bit out of place.'

'It might be a simple coincidence, I don't see how any of this matters.'

Dumbledore stared at me as if I had just said something very stupid.

'Any detail matters. That is how I discovered who you were. Any little thing holds a meaning.'

'The meaning might not be the one you're looking for.'

'And what is the meaning that I am looking for?' he countered.

'It probably has to do with Riddle's destiny. And I want nothing of that.'

There was another heavy pause.

'You know, I have a small curiosity. It has been piquing me for a while now. In the Forbidden Forest, you had a chance to let Mr. Riddle die. You did not. He is your worst enemy in your time but you didn't take this chance to have him killed.'

'I knew I couldn't change time anyway. And he…he saved me. He saved me from one of those men. It would have felt…almost immoral to let him die there. I owed him.'

'Why do you think he saved you?' he asked. 'Do you think he shared some altruistic feelings?'

'No,' I replied.

'Right. Do you think you had any?'

'Pardon?'

'I mean, do you think that you saved him solely because you thought it was unethical to let him die?'

'Of course!'

'Are you sure about that?'

'Why wouldn't I?'

'It seems to me that it was involuntary for the both of you.'

'Involuntary? Sir, I assure you I had my reasons to…'

'Even without those reasons, even if let's say you didn't owe him, you would have done the same thing.'

'How can you tell this?'

'Because he saved you. And he had no real motivation whatever he might have told you. Turning away from his main goal to save you, risking his life to reach you and attack that beast, these actions aren't founded in rationality. Man has an instinct to save those in pain. I have been acquainted with Mr. Riddle for some time. Mr. Riddle has never shown a desire to protect or cherish any belonging or any person around him. Whenever he saw someone in pain he was content just to watch them. He was fascinated by their suffering. He once saw a boy hanging from his broom at Quidditch, on the brink of his death and all he did was stare deeply into the boy's eyes, like he wanted to discover the mystery of death. Don't misunderstand me, I am not saying he cares now. I am saying he was compelled.'

'By who?'

'By himself. The same force that compelled you.'

'What are you trying to say, professor?'

'I have a strong belief that you two have something in common. I just do not know what. Yet. But I think I will find out soon. For the time being, you can't leave.'

'What do you mean?'

'I will not give you a Time Turner and I will make sure you do not get one.'

My cheeks turned red.

'My motives are reasonable. I can't have you leave. And it's not your time to leave. This is your past. We must see why the Time Turner brought you here.'

'Why would you do this? Your motives aren't very clear, Sir. You can't hope to change anything about the future.'

'Oh, I don't have to. The future can't be changed. This was the Time Turner's work. This is the normal course of time. I think you are supposed to be here.'


	13. Swallowed by a mermaid

**Hey everyone! I know, you probably must be staring at the screen in disbelief, but you see right, I updated :) Well, this is a very early chapter because it's my birthday so I decided to give a treat, if it can be called that...well, almost a treat, maybe a nice read, I hope :)**

**Thanks so much to everyone who reads and reviews, you're all amazing. Loads of thanks to my anonymous reviewers, I'd love to see your profiles if you have any and thanks for the general support.**

**I hope this chapter will be a good one. And not just birthday excitement. Anyways, enjoy!**

**P.S. This song is a must.  
**

_Eyes are at the billions, you're still lonely_

_Heaven standing over, don't mind_

_Often wondered, but don't know what to do_

Cortney Tidwell – Eyes are the Billions

Chapter 13: Swallowed by a mermaid

'You think I should stay? Sir, you don't understand. I have to get back! My friends are in danger. I can't just sit here and pretend everything is going to be alright.'

I was breathing rather heavily but I was trying not to show it.

You can't imagine what it's like. Here he was, the man who could understand me and offer me comfort and all he was doing was telling me that I was going to continue this charade, that I was trapped in this gilded cage and that even though he had the key, he would never give it to me.

My hands were tied to my back. My neck felt constricted.

'Your friends can manage without you for a while,' he said rather coldly. 'I'm sure they will do what is right even without you.'

'I have an important part to play,' I said roughly.

'And here? What do you think you're doing here? Don't you think you have a part to play here? What if you could help your friends here?'

'I can't change time, I know that all too well, so all I am doing here is wasting my time!'

'You can't change that time, that is true, but you can change this one. I think you are needed here, _Hermione_.'

I stared at him dumbfounded. My hands were shaking.

'What did you call me?'

'That is your name, isn't it?'

'How did you...'

'You always keep telling yourself 'Be brave, Hermione, be brave.'

'I just want to go back,' I told him hiding my face in my hands. 'You don't know what it's like. You don't know what it's like living with those people. They hurt me and they bully me. And Tom Riddle? You don't know what an angry man he is. You don't know what he can do, or if you do, you can't really stop him because it's you against the world.'

'I guess you are not referring to me, are you?'

I sighed. I felt very cold now, even though the fire was still burning.

'He's too strong for me. He wants to hurt me all the time.'

'But he also saved you and I think that means a great deal. He's willing to hurt you, but maybe he's willing to protect you. I think that's important.'

'That doesn't excuse him! That doesn't mean that I can keep this up!'

'Yes you can. And you have to. I promise, Hermione, I will send you home, after we are both finished here. If I can help this time, I will not sacrifice yours.'

'What about helping_ my_ time?'

'The past is more important sometimes,' he repeated.

I started crying. Just like that, out of the blue.

I missed my mum. I just wanted her arms right now around me. I just wanted to be in my room and read a book under the cover of my blanket. I didn't want to sit here with him. He was like my conscience. Driving into my head and making me do _the_ _right thing_.

But the right thing was a sham! It was all a sham! What can you do to do the right thing? What do you have to do? You just have to close your eyes and keep on going? What if I can't do that? Has anyone ever thought of that?

'I just…need…home,' I whispered between tears.

He touched my shoulder but I flinched.

I got up and ran out of the room, but I stumbled and I almost fell. I didn't care.

I pushed open the barn door and I ran with all my force, past the stable, past the garden gate, past the first houses, I ran and ran. Down that dusty, muddy road into nothingness.

It was dark outside, there was no light. Not even the moon or some stars.

Not even a lit window. Electricity didn't dwell here.

I felt the dust in my mouth and I bit my lip.

I shut my eyes, willing myself to Apparate.

I had read a book on Apparition and I felt that perhaps, if I focused hard enough, I could disappear. And all my body would, I wouldn't leave anything behind.

I would run as far as I could.

I would find a Time-Turner and then I would go home.

But was it the right thing?

When is it ever the right thing?

I hate it, I hate the right thing.

I don't want to save anybody. Just myself.

I registered the feeling of cold only after some minutes. I only had a blouse and a skirt on me. And some torn shoes.

I felt I should throw my hat in the wind, but I didn't have a hat.

I felt like a girl running away from her fiancée, or a wife running away from her destiny.

I was just running away from Dumbledore.

I saw him walk into the Prefect's Bathroom, I could see him. He was running a hand through his red hair and undoing his tie in that unfamiliar way that I still found familiar. He hummed a sad tune and touched the marble of the bath tub with a secret joy that disgusted me.

Albus got undressed, watching that mermaid. He jumped into the hot water and started laughing cruelly, while I was being swallowed by the mermaid.

It felt heavy. I was wearing an armour. I was a knight and I felt her saliva and her tongue and it felt…

It felt like a kiss. Maybe…

Maybe a kiss Tom would've given me, had he succeeded that night.

It would be a kiss and afterwards blackness. It would be the feeling of being close and then you'd be thrown into the depths of your kiss, feeling even closer.

I'd be swollen and I would fall into the pits of a mermaid.

And down there I'd meet my family and friends.

Finally.

They have been swollen too.

They waited for me for so long that the mermaid got to them too. They had waited in despair, I had not come.

Now we met in the pits.

And Harry was crawling in the muddy waters naked and Ginny was running after him. She was scratching his back with her nails, begging him to stop and they both fell in an embrace.

My parents were fighting. There were objects flying around. My mum had thrown the vase, it had smashed. My dad had pushed away the table and all the plates crashed.

'Give me back my life!' he was shouting.

'I never wanted your life!' she was shouting back.

Neville was hanging his frog. I screamed at him.

He was deaf.

Molly Weasley ran to me and slapped me hard over the face.

'Where's my son? Where's my son? What have you done to him?'

Where was Ron? Where is Ron?

'Ron!' I shouted. 'Ron please!'

I felt his arms around me. He had caught me.

'Ron, you're here!' I shouted, in relief.

But I had just fallen and Dumbledore had caught me.

I shrieked and I pulled away blindly but he kept his grip firm on me.

We held this battle for a couple of minutes. I only relented slightly when I saw that he was looking at me with pity.

'Hermione…'

_I don't need your help_, I would have wanted to say.

But the truth was…

Dumbledore cradled me to him and in my vulnerable state, I clung to him in an awful hug and I let my tears soak him.

I accepted the strong hold he had on me and I accepted his cruelty.

He didn't say anything. He just let me lie there and cry.

The small cover of snow was soaking my shoes and touching my skin.

I pushed my feet out of the shoes and relished in the feel of the icy soil. I moved my feet for a while, before I remained still in his arms.

After an hour, I lifted my eyes from the ground.

'Dumbledore?'

'I'm here,' he said quietly.

'I need to go home.'

'I know. I know Hermione.'

'Will you let me go?'

'I cannot. I'm sorry.'

'What will I do?'

'You will just have to trust me.'

* * *

I slept for two days. He had given me some powerful sedatives. Now the feeling of guilt had partially washed away and a new feeling began to rise in my throat.

As I lifted my eyes, the colour of a bleak sun entered my room and welcomed me to the world I had left two days ago. I saw my clothes and books had been neatly packed, ready to be put in my luggage.

I stared at it confused.

There was a steamy hot chocolate on my desk.

I kept lying in bed. I felt sick.

At three o' clock, I got up, drank the chocolate, drank some water from the bathroom, put everything in my luggage and went downstairs.

Mrs. Patty was in the living room, dusting for all I could tell.

'Oh, good, you're up, dear. Do you want something to eat?'

'No thank you,' I mumbled.

'Are you sure? You'll be having a long trip back home.'

'Back to Hogwarts?'

She nodded.

'I'll take you to the station. Pete will come with the chaise soon.'

'Where is Dumbledore?' I asked confused.

'He had some urgent business, so he had to go, but he told me to take good care of you. So, I guess it's up to me to make sure you get back safe,' she said cheerfully.

It seemed like my little escapade had been forgotten.

Or was it that she was just smiling at a crazy person?

You know the way we smile at those people we think are sick in the head? We smile with disapproval but with nurture at the same time, because we'd like to protect them from the reality around them.

That's how Mrs. Patty was smiling. I wondered who was the father of her children.

As we walked down the road in the village, she kept eyeing me discreetly. She wanted to ask me something.

She wanted to ask 'are you happy?'

But instead I asked her.

'Where is your husband, Mrs. Patty?'

'Oh, I never really had one,' she said smiling sadly.

'Then…who is the father of those children?' I asked curious.

'Oh, well, I thought you knew by now…' she said feeling embarrassed.

I stopped in my tracks.

'You can't be serious.'

She looked back slightly offended.

'How do you mean? It shouldn't be such a surprise. I'm no young thing, but he isn't either. He is a very good man.' 'Dumbledore? He is…the father…'

'Yes, well, very few people know so I would appreciate it if you didn't spread the word dear. We like to keep it unknown.'

'But…he lives in a separate house and…'

'Reasons of safety, dear. Doesn't want to draw any suspicions. Besides, no one knows he really lives there. They all know it's just me…with my little ones.'

'But…how can you live this life?'

'How? I'm very happy, you know. He is a very affectionate man.'

I turned away. It felt like I didn't know the world around me so well. It felt like I wasn't born here, I was born somewhere else, in a world where Dumbledore didn't have a lover and children and didn't live in a barn.

I felt very weary.

I just wanted to take off my mind for a day or two.

The man called Pete was waiting for us in front of the inn.

Mrs. Patty helped me get in and tucked my luggage in carefully. She hopped in herself with a cheerful naiveté that bewildered me.

I don't know why but I saw a glimpse of me in her.

I shuddered.

When we reached the station, she kissed me on both cheeks and told me to take care of Master Dumbledore for her. She also told me to listen to him all the time when I was in trouble.

That's what she did all the time.

I nodded absently.

I waved goodbye from a window but I was just telling myself goodbye.

The train moved slowly. I closed my eyes again.

I could do it. I could Apparate.

I could…I could…I fell asleep.

* * *

The school was empty. The students hadn't returned. The halls were only haunted by ghosts and the like. It actually felt like a castle for once. There was no one to bother me in the Common Room.

I could sit for hours in front of the fire and I would only be confronted with my own fears and worries.

I liked my solitude.

That evening I walked into the Great Hall for dinner. Denying myself food had been a bad option. Actually, I hadn't felt like feeding myself, because it just reminded me I was human. And that I had thousands of responsibilities waiting for me. I carried a small parcel with some strawberry cake Mrs. Patty had given me.

I just had to taste it one more time. It held a bit of happiness in it.

I walked towards the Slytherin table and I saw a familiar figure, sitting alone in a corner, eating some pudding.

It was Riddle.

He was standing close to the huge Christmas Tree. The red lights were reflected in his blue eyes. I sat down away from him.

He had stayed here, I gathered.

He had no family or friends.

I opened my parcel and began eating.

I peeked at him from time to time to see if he was watching me. He wasn't.

Something in the way he moved his fork lackadaisically made me feel bad. His head was slightly down. He looked like he was waiting sawdust. His clothes looked old. His face looked old. He looked like a lonely old man. He was sad. And his sadness was obvious in the way he paused each time he took a bite.

And then I realized I was feeling bad for him.

It was that time of the year when even those horrible people meant something to you. When even they deserved a bit of something. Not happiness, just maybe attention.

He hadn't received any presents. Probably no one had even told him on Christmas morning 'Hey, it's Christmas!' or 'Merry Christmas!'

No one had bothered.

And I know this will sound stranger than well Dumbledore having children, but he reminded me of Harry.

I imagined that's how Harry looked like when he lived with the Dursleys.

And it hit me. If I didn't know, if I pretended I didn't know Riddle, if I pretended I didn't know his character, I could be his friend. Or maybe feel some pity for him.

I got up almost without wishing to.  
And I walked towards him. I sat down. I was still holding my breath.

He stared at me surprised.

He really hadn't expected this?

I willed myself not to look angry or scared. Just neutral.

And I pushed the strawberry cake in front of him.

'Merry Christmas.'

He looked at me confused. He didn't know what to say. He looked like a dear in the headlights. Like this was completely new. I saw a flicker of emotion cross his face.

I thought he'd say thank you. I could see the words forming on his lips. Instead…

'Strawberries? In winter?' he asked softly.

I almost smiled. He had thanked me.

'Well, let's just say Dumbledore's cook is a very good Herbologist.'

I was about to say Dumbledore's lover. Wouldn't that have caused a riot.

'He has a personal cook?'

'That man is more of a hedonist than we thought.'

'I should have seen it coming.'

'Have a taste. It's really good. I asked for the recipe but she didn't want to share her secrets.'

He grabbed his fork and stabbed in it with determination.

I was surprised. I thought he'd refuse it.

'I never refuse sweets,' he said.

I rolled my eyes.

He nodded his head as he ate a piece.

'It is good. Tastes like spring.'

'Oh…yes, that would be a good definition of it.'

We stayed silent for a while.

I remembered I had told Dumbledore that Riddle was a very angry man, that I couldn't take him, that he was stronger.

And I remembered spring, because he had said, it tastes like spring. How had he known that?

'Why are you doing this?' he suddenly asked.

'Excuse me?'

'This…friendly approach.'

'Oh, come on, you're sitting next to the reason I'm doing this.'

He glanced at the Christmas Tree.

'A tree? I didn't take you for such a spiritual person.'

'No, Christmas. It's that time of the year.'

'What time?'

'When people get together and forget about their differences. When we forget some things. So I'm willing to forget how bad you are, at least for half an hour.'

'Really? But in the back of your head it's still here?'

'Yes. But I can ignore it just to be kind. Because I'm above you, you know,' I told him smiling.

'I know that,' he said.

My eyebrows rose in shock.

'I couldn't do it,' he explained. 'You're…definitely above.'

'I'm just giving you some strawberry cake,' I mumbled.

'Yes, well, I usually give hatred.'

'Don't you get tired of that?'

'All the time. But how do you think I survive?'

I frowned.

'What do you mean? Everybody treats you…'

'With respect. They treat the Half-Blood with respect,' he said looking at me fiercely.

'But…they must suspect you're the Heir.'

'It doesn't matter. I picked the wrong father,' he said taking another bite of the strawberry cake.

'Don't try to make that the motivation of your actions,' I told him.

'It's not the only one of course. I'm a greedy, selfish bastard. But my mother and father definitely helped me get here.'

'I thought you'd love your mother.'

'Yeah, I thought she'd love me too,' he said coldly. 'No, I don't love anyone. And I'm grateful for that. I watch other people who love. They always have a weight I don't have to carry.'

'No…but you have to carry all the_ other_ weights.'

'I'd rather have them all, just not that one.'

'And you're not just saying that to lie to yourself?'

'Come on, Jane, you know you envy that.'

'Envy what?'

'Not having to care.'

I shook my head.

'You're a strange, strange man…'

'Well, Jane, you're a strange, strange girl,' he told me.

I took my own fork and took a piece of cake.

'I'm not letting you eat it all.'

I think a shadow of a smile crossed his face. Outside, the snow had dwindled a bit.

The silver globes in the Christmas Tree started shining.

It was still Christmas.


	14. God only knows

**And I'm back with another extremely long and contrived chapter! Okay, this one's pretty creepy so don't say I didn't warn you. If you will not like, I will not blame you, it's far too weird. And it's a bit different in some ways. **

**On another topic, thank you so much for all your Happy Birthday wishes! It really felt sweet:) I had a nice birthday thanks to my family, friends and you guys too. Also, thanks for reviewing and sticking to this bizarre story. And loads of thanks to my anonymous reviewers_ Oola, Olivia, Morgana, ridda, rose_ for their kind and thoughtful reviews.**

**Now unto the chapter!  
**

_I'm so tired of playing_  
_ Playing with this bow and arrow_  
_ Gonna give my heart away_  
_ Leave it to the other girls to play_  
_ For I've been a temptress too long_

_ Give me a reason to love you_  
_ Give me a reason to be a woman_  
_ I just wanna be a woman_

Portishead - Glory Box

Chapter 14: God only knows 

'…and this is for you!'

'Vicky, you really didn't have to…'I mumbled as I took the package from her hands. I untied it nervously.

It was a hat. But not just an ordinary hat. It was a lovely green, tweed hat, the kind I had always seen women wear in _Singing in the Rain_.

'It's beautiful, thanks so much!' I said hugging her.

Seeing her now, I realized how much I had missed her the past week.

She looked as fresh as a daisy. Her hair ran down her back in rivulets of curls and her smile made me smile.

I also gave her my present which was a pair of black gloves I had bought some time ago but which she could use more than I did. I never really wore any gloves. And she loved them. She had an entire collection.

We stood up all night talking on her bed.

I was wearing the green hat, she the gloves and we were both sipping a tiny bit of champagne Vicky had somehow managed to smuggle in Hogwarts. I had no idea how she had done it. But it was very good. And we were really enjoying ourselves.

'Father made a fool of himself at the Christmas Party, he was doing an impression of a reindeer and it all went wrong when my uncle pretended to be Santa Clause and wanted to harness him. Everyone was rolling on the floor, laughing.'

'Sounds like loads of fun.'

'Try mortification more likely,' she replied, but she was giggling too. 'You should have seen the chase around the room.'

'You should have filmed it.'

'What does that mean?' she asked confused.

'Sorry, I forget you're not well acquainted with my world,' I said, smiling.

'So, how was Christmas with Dumbledore? I'm dying to hear. Was it creepy? Does he really wear those robes all the time? Does he live like a hermit?'

'Wow, wow, one question at a time,' I told her, taking another strong gulp of champagne.

'It was…a very interesting Christmas, I'll say that. He's a very peculiar man. You wouldn't believe the way he lives. He definitely has company and comfort. And he doesn't wear robes all the time, unfortunately. I had to see him in yellow slippers, not a nice memory.'

Vicky started laughing, holding her stomach.

'Yellow slippers? Oh, you're so lucky Jane! I would've loved to see that! You say he has company?'

'Well…this better remain between us, but he does have female company, if you know what I mean.'

Vicky put her hand to her mouth in shock.

'No! Dumbledore? Our Dumbledore? You have got to be joking! We all thought he was a bit queer. Or maybe the right word is sexually confused.'

'Are you trying to tell me you thought he was gay?' I asked, raising a brow.

'No, Jane, he's always merry and happy, what I mean is…'

'Homosexual then?'

'Yes, that's the word. We were all convinced he liked other men.'

'Maybe he likes to keep that appearance, but he leads a completely different life.'

'Wow, he's even more interesting now. I mean female company, yellow slippers…what else?'

'Oh, did I mention he had his hair up in a ponytail?'

Vicky almost fell out of her bed.

'Get out of here! I knew coming back here was worth it! This is too funny!'

She spilt her champagne glass on the floor and we both started giggling again. It was good to forget about some things and just relax for a change.

I wasn't going to tell her about my freak out and the way I ran from Dumbledore's house in the middle of the night like a crazy person.

I just clung to the good memories like glue.

* * *

There was still the after Christmas blues for everyone. This is a very depressing syndrome. Everyone is a victim. You can't help but feel it, no matter how bad your Christmas was.

Every kid came back with a sad smile on his faces. The majority of the first classes went on in a languid, soporific way. They glided down our minds like snowballs as we slouched in our chairs, with the books on our chins, thinking about tomorrow.

I was trying to focus, but my mind rested adamantly on Dumbledore.

His words were like a chant for me, the words that I woke up with in the morning and went to bed at night.

He was going to help me by not helping me. He was going to leave me to the dogs. He was never going to give me a Time-Turner. And what was worse, he didn't understand. How could he though? Maybe I was expecting too much from him. I was expecting him to be one step ahead, but this time, I was the one that was forward.

And it killed me that he couldn't understand. I knew he was stubborn, I could see it. When he had something on his mind, he did not relent.

Now he had it going that there was a meaning behind this accident, that I was supposed to come here. It felt like a badly written romance. And I'd suspect Dumbledore to be a fan of those. Usually, in these literary pieces, there is some crap about the heroine being the descendant of I don't know what all-powerful, sexy deity, but it's all resolved at the end when she reunites with her past-soul-mate, a very handsome, musky version of Brad Pitt. It's all very gaudy.

And that's not what happened here. First off, I don't like Brad Pitt, second, I think that flipping a damn Time-Turner that was coincidentally found in the Department of Mysteries (therefore, there could be something seriously wrong with it, tampered with Dark Magic) doesn't mean that I am meant to stay here and be the Slytherins' fun toy.

And what am I really supposed to do? Try and stop Riddle here? This is the past. How could I influence the future without doing some massive damage? I have already done enough.

I have to go back and do my job there. Staying here is wasting precious time and frankly, precious sanity as well. I wouldn't be able to convince Riddle to give up being a power-hungry idiot. And I wouldn't be able to stop him once he started. It's just his nature.

People don't really change.

Why did Dumbledore have to be so stubborn?

Sitting in class, hearing professor Binns rant away, I had a clear image of my life. Looking out the window, I saw a brown leaf on the snowy ground.

By some miraculous chance, that leaf hadn't been torn apart and buried under the cold blanket. It was lying there peacefully, winking at me.

I don't know why, but I felt like that leaf. I could feel the cold and I could see the sky between the branches and I felt very little and brown, taken from one place to another, never finding a resting place.

It was nice to run from one corner to another, but it was nice to settle down and sleep a little bit too. It was nice to believe I was in a safe place and that it was up to me if I wanted to get up and leave.

Did he not think I had tortured myself trying to find an answer why I was here? Maybe I was narrow-minded not to believe in destiny. After all, Dumbledore knew better than me. Was I just alluding myself?

No. I stick to my convictions.

Trying to find a magical reason that went beyond logics just made it more difficult, it made it sound romantic and mysterious, but it was just plain stupid. It's what humans do when they get bored with their lives, they invent secret meanings.

That's what this was? A secret meaning behind it all?

No, it was just a desperate move that I did right before getting killed. The Time-Turner malfunctioned big time and I ended up here.

Maybe it had been a trap set up by the Death Eaters. They're not the most intelligent fellows.

Maybe I just wasn't supposed to die.

Can't life throw you in absurd situations without any sense or reason?

Can't life do that without any silly meaning behind it?

Isn't that life's job?

But whatever the reason, whatever really happened, it wasn't something mystical, it wasn't fate.

People just have to learn to get disillusioned.

It's the best for all of us.

* * *

Something out of this world happened during Defense against the Dark Arts.

I think I almost had a taste of Riddle's thoughts.

We were dueling on pairs and after having succeeded in disarming my partner, Robert Blowsworth, I was given Riddle's partner, Black. We both disarmed ourselves at the same time.

After that I had to face Riddle himself.

He looked ready to squish me happily, or at least he looked pleased. I guess he wanted to show me he was far superior in battle.

And he was unfortunately.

After five minutes I was ready to give in.

But as I blasted a curse towards him a sudden delirious idea entered my head.

While casting the second audible curse, I also cast an inaudible Legilimens, pointing to his head.

I don't know why I did it. It had just come into my mind.

And I did it without remorse, with a patient eagerness, if there is such a thing.

For a brief, lucid half-moment I could sense it, a web of candy-coated, poisonous tongues that ran through my mind and tickled my pride.

The skies opened.

There was a precipice in front of me leading to him.

Deep, deep down I could see his mind.

His thoughts were floating like blue drops of ocean water. It was a blue, shimmering river of salty water, of rough, crystallized water.

The breeze was noxious, my nostrils were burning.

There was no sun.

I wanted to jump and swim in the river. I wanted to drink it up and wash away some of my weights. It looked like a haven. Oh, it looked so nice.

But there were flames all around the precipice. And if I tried passing through them, I slowly felt my mind and conscience leaving me.

I slowly felt my thoughts burning and disintegrating into tiny particles of golden ash.

And suddenly I was pushed back by a heavy wind.

It was a curse he had thrown back at me.

I fell down and winced in pain.

I felt the cold floor and there was no precipice in front of me.

Only the boy that looked at me suspiciously, his wand drawn.

His eyes pierced mine trying to find an answer, but I shook my head and grimaced in pain. I slowly got up, holding onto a desk.

I massaged my wrists, looking down.

'Are you ready to go on?' he asked, cocking his head to the side. He was smirking, slightly.

I think he knew I had tried seeing his mind. He looked smug.

His eyes were telling me "Like you could ever do that. Like you could ever pass those flames."

'No,' I answered, 'I can't go on. I need to rest.'

I looked at him with all the honesty I could gather.

And then I got something in return which baffled me. His eyes told me something different, something that scared me.

He was telling me, as best as he could, "Sometimes, I can't pass the flames either."

The shock of it hit me in waves.

My eyebrows questioned this information in disbelief, but he almost nodded his head, acknowledging my discovery.

He had voluntarily put up a wall between him and his conscience. Memory, regret, guilt, there were all thrown into the flames, disintegrated, turned into golden ash, swallowed in a river of pure knowledge, a river that was stained, that looked like it was shimmering…

I suddenly felt this warm, astral connection with my mind that made me sigh with relief. I could go there, I could go and feel whatever I wanted, I could never put a barrier to my conscience.

His freedom scared me.

I wanted his mind to be caged, I wanted him to be caged.

When I was around him, my whole world started bringing out new shades that I had never seen before.

I was scared of those shades. What did they mean?

Could I ever see through them?

What was behind them? What was behind his mind?

He had asked me if I envied it, if I envied this state of simply not caring and I hadn't answered. But did I really want to swim in that river?

Was I so well adjusted? Let's face it, I could have used a wall too.

I could have used one at least for a night or two, so I could get some rest without thinking of the people I had left behind.

He broke contact with me abruptly and left.

I was still standing by the desk, wand in my hand. That river ran through me and choked me with tears.

But I still breathed.

I just felt a terrible wish to know more. Since I could remember, curiosity had tormented me. As always, I wanted to cut off the strings and see the hands that really guided the show.

I wanted to see the world he had in there, locked up from everyone else.

It was better than a library, it felt better than a haven.

It was such an amazing thing… it was the other side of the moon.

* * *

I thought I'd get over my silly obsessions once I had some lunch or took a nap. I went through the day normally, chatting with the girls, eating my pudding, trying to master a new charm in Charms Class, thinking about Dumbledore, but ever so often, the river came towards me and then I couldn't get the golden ash out anymore.

I was incredibly thirsty for something.

I drank all the pumpkin juice I could find, but I was feeling more thirst now.

I sat on my bed and imagined being home.

And when I imagined home, I saw it beyond a river. I still had to cross a river.

I couldn't give it up!

I needed to know more.

I slowly opened my trunk. I pushed away the clothes and took out the old parchments.

My fingers rested on the smooth surface and I closed my eyes.

Should I write in it? Should I summon Salazar?

I hadn't talked to him in such a long time.

Would he take my blood again? Did I need to talk to him?

Would he give me the questions? Would he give me the answers?

I took the quill in my hand. My fingers trembled.

A drop of ink fell on the parchment and disappeared.

'Writing your homework?'

I almost dropped the parchments in my fright. I looked over my shoulder alarmed.

It was Bridget and Lucille.

'Hi girls…no, I'm just, looking through my trunk,' I answered pushing the parchments away.

'We just wanted to ask you, have you seen Victoria? We've been looking for her everywhere. Catherine is outside, checking the grounds. We don't want to get seriously worried, but we might unless we find her. You should help us, Jane.'

I looked at them, blinking confused. Their carefully crafted sentences never made sense to me.

'You can't find her?'

'She's nowhere in sight. We looked in all the places we thought she would be.'

'How about the places she wouldn't be?'

'Oh…we didn't check those, why would we?' they answered, shrugging their shoulders.

I groaned and got up.

'Come on, we have to look better. She's around here somewhere. If we don't find her, we go to Slughorn.'

We started with all the classes. She was not in any of them. Then we checked all the bathrooms on all the floors.

Of course she wasn't there either.

'What about the Prefect bathroom?' I asked.

'What about it?' Lucille asked as if it was very stupid of me to inquire.

'What if she's there? We should try to check,' I said.

'But why would she be there? Vicky doesn't know the password and she's not allowed to go there.'

'Maybe someone gave her the password,' I countered.

'But how will we get in?' Bridget moaned.

I rolled my eyes in exasperation.

'Earth to the wonder girls, I'm a Prefect! Geez, it's really hard to remember, isn't it?'

When we reached the bathroom, I mumbled the password half inaudibly and the portrait swung open.

At first, as we stepped inside, there was nothing strange about it.

The marble floor was clean, there were some towels in one corner, then there was that awful mermaid…

The girls all shrieked.

The tub was filled with green water and white foam but there was a small figure visible underneath the foam. We ran towards it and Lucille and Bridget both pulled out an unconscious Victoria.

My heart almost stopped.

We lay her to the ground carefully and we checked her heart.

She thankfully had a pulse. A weak one, but still a pulse.

She looked blue all over. And she seemed in some sort of pain, her forehead was full of wrinkles.

I quickly cast some revival spells, my wand trembling, and after what felt like years, I finally saw her eyelids flutter open.

By now, we had put her on the small sofa in the corner and we had covered her with towels.

'Vicky? Vicky can you hear me? Are you alright?'

It took some moments for her to come round. She opened her eyes widely and stared at us, dumbfounded.

Then she turned over and started coughing up water like crazy.

'Let it out,' I told her, beating her back. 'Let it all out.'

When she stopped, she fell back on the couch and started breathing heavily.

'What happened?' she managed to say.

'We found you in the tub, half-dead!' Lucille squeaked, looking downcast.

'What are you doing in the Prefect bathroom? Who did this?' I asked, pulling her up gently.

'I…I'm in the bathroom? Oh, well, let me…let me gather my thoughts,' she mumbled massaging her forehead.

'I was talking to Black…' she began. 'We were walking down the corridor and we were talking about Christmas…and then I wanted to know the password to the Prefects bathroom and…he showed it to me and we both came in. After that I don't remember much. Is he…is he gone?'

'Vicky, Black did this to you?' I shrieked.

'Jane, I don't know what happened. We have to talk to him!' she said trying to stand up but she fell down dizzily.

'Relax a bit, will you? I will talk to him personally and I swear I will make him suffer if he's done this to you. Why would he…why would he try to drown you in that tub? That's just mad!'

'Maybe…maybe I fell in the tub and hit my head…' she countered.

'Vicky, stop defending him! We have to get to the bottom of this!'

* * *

We went to professor Slughorn first and told him everything. Unfortunately, this man was the parody of Walt Disney himself. When he heard what had happened, he started sweating and fidgeting like he had been the culprit.

'Oh, dear, oh, dear, but Mr. Black would never harm a student!' he squeaked.

'Oh, I know, Sir, shocking isn't it?' Lucille squeaked back. 'It's just not right!'

'But thank the heavens Miss Victoria is safe and sound. You did take her to the Infirmary, didn't you?'

'Of course we did. That's the least we could do. But right now we need to find Black and ask him a couple of questions,' I told him.

'Oh yes…of course. But please let us be gentle about it. Maybe there was some sort of misunderstanding…'

'Yes, because a young girl is found unconscious in a tub of water every day,' I replied annoyed.

'Cynicism is not an admirable trait, Miss Greystone,' Slughorn mumbled, getting red in the face. 'Before judging someone, you need to have evidence.'

'And we will find the evidence once we talk to Black,' I muttered.

'Yes, well, I suppose you are right in this case…'

When Black stepped in his office half an hour later, he looked like he had been interrupted from a nice afternoon nap. He was clearly surprised.

'What is this all about, Sir?'

'Perhaps you can explain, Mr. Black, why Miss Victoria is in the Infirmary at the moment?'

His eyes widened.

'Victoria? What happened to her? Is she alright?'

'Not quite. And we believe you might be the cause of that,' I said. 'Vicky was found unconscious in the Prefect's bathroom. Know anything about that?'

'I…I have no idea…' he said scratching his head. 'I mean, I remember we were walking down the corridor an hour ago and we were talking about Christmas and then…then…'

He suddenly grimaced. His whole face turned into deep wrinkles.

'Oh, I think I took her to the Prefect's Bathroom because she wanted to know the password. I think she tried to kiss me…but I wasn't quite in the mood for that and then we said goodbye and I came back to the common room.'

So, you're telling us nothing else happened in that bathroom? She just tried to kiss you, you refused her and then you took off? Just like that?' I asked.

'Well, yes, we both left the bathroom after that,' he said staring at me confused.

'Black, you shouldn't lie to us. Why would Vicky lie unconscious in a tub full of water?'

'Goodness! Unconscious? Nothing like that happened! She was very conscious when we were talking. I would have told you if something had happened. But there was nothing like that!'

By the looks of it, Black was telling the truth. The only thing that made me doubt him was a shadow of fear that constantly flickered on his face.

He seemed appalled by the idea. And the fear, the fear reflected his fear of having done such a thing. He was mortified at the possibility of having committed this act.

_Black, was it him…was it him that made you do it? _I thought, looking into his bright, watery brown eyes.

He flinched involuntarily when he met my eyes.

_Did Riddle do this? _

He held his arms as if he was cold. Two red spots appeared on his cheek bones.

_You think Riddle did it. _

I felt a great flow of hatred wash over me. My friend was badly hurt thanks to him. He had been behind it. Why hadn't this been my first thought? Why had I believed for a second that our conversation at Christmas had been real?

Then again, maybe Riddle was always honest, he was always real. I just never saw that all his words were poisonous knives reflecting a psychotic killer in the making.

He wasn't a troubled man. He was a stupid, spiteful little man that had unfortunately been given a wand.

If he were in front of me right now, I wouldn't hesitate to rip his head off.

* * *

Vicky insisted she didn't need to stay in the Infirmary the whole night. But I knew better than to unleash her on a dozen of curious and gossiping Slytherin brats. I also feared that Black and Riddle might still have a bone to pick with her. And what if she got sick or something?

I couldn't take that risk. Before I killed the both of them, I needed her to be safe.

'But this is just ridiculous,' she muttered, pouting. 'I need to get out of this bed. I have to face my fears. I need to talk to him, Jane. I can't believe he did it. He would never harm a hair on my head, I could vouch for that!'

'Yes, and you also said that Grindelwald just needed a good psychiatrist. Until we sort this mess out, you have to stay here. Rest a bit, will you? You will talk to Black later. Look, I don't believe he did it either, but he's a bit off limits right now, understand?'

'Do you think he'll get expelled for this?'

'I don't know, Vicky. He probably won't. Not until we decide what really happened. Headmaster Dippet will have the final word.'

'Oh, Jane, I know I sound crazy, but I'd hate it if he went away because of me.'

'Yes, you definitely sound crazy. Vicky, I'll take care of things. If he is innocent, there's no reason for him to go.'

'Jane,' she said taking my head. 'I almost died today.'

'Nonsense! You wouldn't have died!' I said, trying to sound nonchalant. It wasn't working.

'What if I had?'

'Don't say such things!'

'What if you hadn't found me?'

'Vicky, we would have found you. Even that stupid mermaid would have told someone at one point. Please, don't think of such things. You can't die on my watch.'

'I hope not…God, I am so afraid. I mean what if it's true? What if the boy I like tried to drown me?'

I hugged her tightly.

'Well, then, you sure know how to pick'em.'

She started laughing, but a small tear fell down her porcelain face.

'If…Merlin, if he really did it, even if he was…well, I mean, that means he's not alright. That means he's ill. If he really attempted that, it means he's not well. Either that or…'

'Or?'

'No, I can't think of that! He can't have that much control over him! He just can't!' she said, fidgeting with her blanket.

'It's Riddle, isn't it?' I said, clenching my fists.

'Jane, I don't believe it! I can't. That means Black is lost.'

'No, it doesn't. He is not lost. If Riddle really caused this, I promise you he won't get away with it.'

'But what will you do?'

I looked out the window at the falling night. It was a bleak scenery to me.

'I'm going to go to Prefect Rounds. For now.'

* * *

'Hello and welcome everyone to our first Prefect meeting.'

Fantastic. First time I wanted to hex off Riddle's head and we had a bloody Prefect meeting. I was so angry that my knuckles were white from gripping the arms of my chair.

From time to time, I glared at Riddle menacingly.

I usually don't show my anger because it's not a very smart move, but right now, seeing him sit there all smug and pleased with himself made me want to chop him into tiny bits and feed them to the dogs.

He stared back raising a brow.

I nodded as if to tell him 'you know, you little bastard.'

He furrowed his brows in confusion.

So he was going to play dumb.

The short and plump blonde in front of the seats demanded my attention. She was the Head Girl. I saw Dorcas slouched next to her, flipping through some papers, trying to seem detached and relaxed. Though he was constantly looking at his watch.

'First off, I'm happy to see we have some new faces this year. Welcome Fifth year prefects. I hope you'll have a great year with us. I also hope you won't let the team down. There is temptation of course, as a Prefect, to abuse your power. Some of you become irresponsible because the workload is too heavy, some seem to forget that we are their superiors, some simply can't handle team work. For all of those who think they're the next rebels, let me tell you that insubordination will not be accepted here. Any form of retaliation will be met with severe punishment. I will make sure your Fifth Year will be a year from hell.'

Just about every new Prefect looked at each other in fear and gulped down as they sank lower into their chairs.

'But,' the Head Girl began again, smiling, 'thankfully, up till now, no reports of such doings have come to my attention. So, you guys are off the hook. But we do have a more urgent problem to deal with. And that is the efficacy of Prefect Rounds. As we all know, Prefect Rounds demand focus and diligence. Dorcas and I know that some of you lack in that area. All of you slackers perhaps are still unaware of the fact that Grindelwald could have attacked our school and he still poses a treat to this us. Perhaps you're not conscious of the turbulent times we're going through. Well, I am. And I will make sure all of you come to your senses. I have a list here of the Prefect teams that did not manage to stand up to my expectations this year. I'm afraid Dorcas and I will have to join you at some of your Rounds to see how you are doing. Call it a surveillance exercise. Remember, Hogwarts isn't just a school, it's an institution. Starting tonight, you will be inspected.'

I could have almost slapped my forehead. Who was this puny creature that came up with this insipid measure?

Riddle and I were at the top of the list. And Dorcas was more than eager to agree to join us at Rounds tonight.

Was the universe against me? I just wanted to fight with Riddle. Was that too much to ask?

* * *

'Focus, lads and ladies, focus. What do you see? An empty corridor? No! Five statues. Five statues that could hide some mischievous students.'

Riddle and I were walking in silence, following a very zealous Dorcas. His voice was like a hammer into my brain. I tried droning it out, but every time I did that, the annoying boy turned around and asked for my opinion, looking at me gallantly.

'After all, some students are familiar with some dissimulation charms, isn't that right Jane?'

'Yes. I bet they use them just to get the mickey out of us. They have nothing better to do with their lives.'

'Hahahaha, you have a very dry sense of humour, Jane. But you have to take care for pranksters. There are some people in this school who think it's funny to levitate a bottle of ink above your head.'

'Just imagine…' I snorted impatiently.

'Here for example,' he said turning a corner, 'is a perfectly innocent looking broom cupboard. But if we open it…'

He pushed the door open. It was empty. A small rat ran out of it scared.

A moat of dust flew over our heads.

'Well, they were lucky. But I caught up to five people in this small cupboard once,' he said coughing from the dust.

I was starting to lose my patience, slowly, very slowly…

Suddenly we heard a sound down the corridor. It sounded like laughter.

'Aha, some new victims,' Dorcas said smirking and ran towards that spot.

My nerves getting the better of me, I opened the broom cupboard, pushed Riddle inside and shut the door.

We both lit our wands at the same time.

'I hope you're not going to play out one of your fantasies, Greystone,' he began.

'How dare you play dumb? How dare you just stand there nonchalantly? How dare you do that after what you've done? You shouldn't even have the nerve to look me in the eye. I knew you were a selfish coward, but I had no idea you went to these kinds of lengths. Though I probably shouldn't be surprised.'

'Before you start raving like mad, might I know what you're accusing me of?' he asked, frowning.

'I think you know better than I.'

'You will find that I don't.'

'Oh, don't start with that! We both know Victoria is in the hospital now because of you.'

A sudden flash of anger crossed his face before his eyes understood.

'Oh, Black. I should have suspected you would ask me about that. I know what he did.'

'What _he_ did? Let's not play innocent here, we both know that you have him in the palm of your hand.'

'I do not think Black would appreciate this description. He's capable of acting on his own, you know. And he's capable of turning psychotic all by himself. He doesn't need my help for that. I was pretty surprised when I found out. It sure killed my appetite at dinner.'

'You made him do it. You can't stand here and deny it to my face. You made him do that to her. He would never hurt her if he weren't controlled by you.'

'I made him do it? You think I'd suddenly start killing young girls just for fun, using Black? No, I'd do that myself.'

'Then you deny using him? I saw you in him once, do you remember? It happened in a bathroom…'

He sighed and leant against a rack of what looked like empty jars.

'I admit it's a bit complicated…Alright, sometimes I take advantage of him, but nothing so serious. Nothing as stupid as this, anyway. If he submits to my control, he does it willingly.'

I opened my mouth in shock.

'Willingly? And you expect me to believe that?'

'You don't know anything about him,' Riddle said, his tone menacing. 'I wouldn't use him for killing. That is beneath him and beneath our friendship.'

'Oh, don't start calling your sick bond a friendship! I'm sure he wouldn't call you a friend!'

'So, you were right. After Christmas, you just started thinking the worst of me again. I mean, thinking bad about me is fine, but thinking the worst? Isn't that exaggerating?'

'Look here,' I said pushing him back a little with my wand, 'my best friend was hurt because of you and your sick _friend_. I want some answers. And if you don't give me any, Dumbledore and Headmaster Dippet will have a say in this.'

'You'll go to them whether I tell you something or not,' he said blankly.

'I am telling you only once. As much as I'd love to get the credit for this, I did not harm your friend. Is that clear?'

'It's still partly your responsibility if Black did. And I don't believe you,' I told him coldly.

'Oh, I've heard that line before. Though, I can't blame you, can I? I wouldn't believe myself either. Whatever happens, you have no evidence against me.'

'I really hate you, Riddle.'

'Sweet music to my ears,' he said smiling. 'But please, Greystone, say it like you mean it.'

'Most likely, you are not even worthy of hate,' I said.

'Oh, I am. I've worked hard for that. You know, I'm glad you're being so open tonight.'

The door suddenly flew open.

'Mr. Riddle, Jane! What is going on? Did he take you in there, Jane?' Dorcas asked, looking at us worriedly.

I groaned and pushed past him annoyed.

We continued our excruciating Round until we parted ways and I shared a deadly glare with Riddle.

Dorcas probably thought we were very immature. But I didn't care. If he was guilty, then he didn't deserve better.

* * *

The following day, the matter was taken to Headmaster Dippet. As usual, he was enveloped in his own thoughts and his own problems. He was already trying to hush up things with Victoria's parents.

'They want the guilty party to come out. They want severe punishment. Otherwise, Miss Victoria will leave our establishment.'

'That can't happen, Sir. We must sort this out, immediately,' I began.

'And I think we shall. In just a couple of moments. I have summoned Mr. Black to my office. And we will deal with this in a civilized manner.'

Black came in minutes later and he was made to sit on the chair in front of Dippet's desk.

Without any warning, dozens of leather straps appeared around Black's body. He was tied to the chair.

Dippet walked towards him, holding a vial that contained some black liquid.

He opened his mouth forcefully and emptied it down his throat.

The girls and I watched in horror.

'Sir, but…isn't that Veritas? That is not allowed at Hogwarts!'

'Nonsense, Miss Greystone, it's been used since the beginning of time. We'd get nowhere in the world without it. Besides, _Hogwarts, A History_ is a very stupid book.'

I was about to protest, but Black was already moving in a very strange way. He opened his mouth, then closed it. His hands shook like mad. His entire body was twisting in the chair.

His eyes looked empty of all life.

'Mr. Black, did you attempt to harm Miss Victoria?'

I saw him squirm in his chair for some moments before answering.

'Yes.'

My heart stopped. No, it couldn't be.

'Did you take her to the Prefect Bathroom?'

'Yes.'

'Did you try to drown her in the tub?'

'Yes.'

'How did you do it?'

'I threw her in the tub and started choking her.'

Angry, hot tears were swelling at the corner of my eyes. I couldn't believe it! I couldn't listen.

'Why did you do it?'

'She kissed me. I went mad. Something went mad inside of me. Something I don't understand. But her taste made me go mad...'

I stepped towards him and looked into his eyes.

'Were you compelled to harm her?'

'No.'

'Are you certain about that?'

'Yes.'

'What about Riddle?'

'Miss Greystone, what do you think you're doing?' Headmaster Dippet asked, looking at me scandalized.

'Tom didn't know, he…didn't know,' Black managed to say looking down.

My shoulders sagged to the ground. I brushed away the tears that were threatening to fall.

'Mr. Black, are you feeling alright?' Dippet asked.

'No.'

'Do you think you are a danger for this school?'

'No. But others do. Sometimes, sometimes, I just lose my conscience, but it comes back...'

'Did you want to harm Miss Victoria?'

'Yes. No.' He struggled for a while longer. 'Both.'

'Do you want us to help you?'

'Yes. Yes, I do…'

* * *

The Headmaster's decision was announced in the entire common room. Professor Slughorn made sure everyone knew.

'…and I'm afraid your beloved friend will have to be excused for a while. He will not be attending Hogwarts, for an unknown period of time. But he will be under treatment at Saint Mungo. And we hope the best for him. He is a well-intentioned boy and he has a good heart. He will be healed.'

Slughorn seemed very confident that he would make a recovery but the rest of the Slytherins were very skeptical. All of them were very confused and curious. Riddle's minions looked displeased and annoyed beyond anything else and they threw Vicky some nasty glares as if it was her fault.

She, on the other hand, ran to her bed and started crying. I tried comforting her, but she told me to leave. Now she was blaming me for making him leave.

'He should have stayed! He would get much better help here! I knew it wasn't really him who had done this.'

Even if her face was red and she was wailing, she still managed to look poise and dignified. I admired her strength.

'Do you know what happen to the mentally ill at Saint Mungo? They never leave that place, that's what happens. None of them make a recovery. Because that place just makes them go madder.'

'Victoria, there was no other solution, he was putting other people's lives in...'

'Don't say it, Jane. Just please shut up. I know he will never get out of that place.'

'I can't believe that! I'm sure that if he receives the proper care he will recover.'

'That place won't let him!'

'What have you got against Saint Mungo?'

She looked at me with pain and anguish.

'You have no idea...absolutely no idea,' she said feebly.

'Then tell me, please!'

'Just go away, Jane. I don't want to see you right now.'

'But...'

'Just go!'

I walked downstairs feeling like the last person on Earth.

I needed some peace. I needed silence. I needed to know things would be okay.

I walked into the library feeling dizzy. Everything was spinning around me.

I was amazed to find the Restricted Section open. I stepped inside and quickly sat down at a table, as another wave of nausea hit me. Why had everything gone so wrong? Why couldn't I fix it? I wanted to cry on somebody's shoulder.

But the fact remained. Black was unstable. Vicky was hurt. And Riddle had nothing to do with it. Just like that. He had got away again.

He was always above everything. But everything seemed to happen because of him. Black was mad, his minions were mad, everyone was mad around him.

He had probably helped Black down this path.

Suddenly, I knew why this place was open. He had the key.

He was in the back, arranging a shelf of books.

'What are you doing here?'

'Doing my job,' he answered coldly, not looking my way.

'Black was taken away.'

'I heard.'

'It's much better this way. He is not well. Saint Mungo will help him…'

'Saint Mungo will not help him. He should have stayed.'

'Well, I'm sorry but staying with you wasn't helping him either, as I recall,' I began. I always felt like picking an argument with him.

'Don't you have anything better to do right now?' he replied acidly.

'Fine, I just…I don't even know why I came here.'

I turned around, but in my stupidity I tripped over some books and fell to the floor.

And suddenly the nausea disappeared.

A cool feeling of beauty pervaded my senses. All I could see was blue. The shimmering river was sparkling in front of my eyes.

As I hit the ground I didn't care about the small pain because I felt free.

When I opened my eyes again I saw Riddle towering over me.

No, I hadn't entered his mind.

But ever since I saw that river, I can't get it out of my head. It is following me everywhere. I could easily reach it.

No, I couldn't.

Even if I could cast Legilimens on him, the flames would always be up.

He extended his hand. I looked at him confused. He was helping me get up?

After everything that had happened?

I took his hand and he pulled me up, into his arms.

'I don't feel well at all,' I told him, half-heartedly.

'You just fell.'

'No...it's you. It's always you.'

He opened his mouth to reply, but the warmth was too much to bear.

The river was close.

I pulled him into a kiss. Only God knows why.

I crushed my lips over his and whispered '_Legilimens_' in my head.

The dark depths of my mind opened as did his. He was suddenly holding my waist. My head had hit a shelf and the pain was numbing me.

Our tongues met and my hands found his neck. I pulled his collar roughly, trying to crush his neck.

And then, the precipice opened for me.

And there were no flames around it. I smiled with joy. I probably smiled into the kiss. It grew stronger. I felt our bones collide. But I was stronger.

I jumped into the shimmering river.

Darkness engulfed me.

* * *

**Next time, we enter Riddle's mind. And some interesting discoveries...**

**P.S. This is not The Kiss. The Kiss has to be mutual. It also has to be devoid of any interests. It will be only based on feelings. This is not to say this kiss doesn't mean something. Just not _that _something. **

**Thanks for reading :) (Now wasn't that long?)  
**


	15. Son of a Gun

**Hey everyone, back on duty with another chapter! Finally, Tom Riddle's mind opens. And it's really messed up, so beware. Anyhoo, this chapter really gave me headaches so I hope it's good. I can't even tell anymore. On a more important note, thank you so much all of you who have reviewed, you brighten my day! Thanks to all the anonymous reviewers for their awesome reviews, you guys rocks! Please don't change (Bre, Morgana, shane, Oola, ridda, ashwood). **

**Hope you like this crazy chapter.  
**

_Exciting you, just make you love me too_  
_ Somebody that you're not in love with at all_  
_ I'm your a-a-a-aphrodisiac, don't do nothing, just relax_  
_ Gives you a a a heart attack, just take your clothes off, this is over jack_  
_ If you want to fall in love with somebody_  
_ Somebody that you're not in love with at all_  
_ Take an a-a-a-aphrodisiac, don't do no-no-nothing, just relax_

Bow Wow Wow - Aphrodisiac

Chapter 15: Son of a Gun

A butterfly was sitting on my nose. It was white. Its head was a monstrosity. How beautiful they look from afar. But when you can really see them, they scare you.

After a minute, it flew away and landed on a little girl's shoulder. She was wearing a tattered grey dress. It was very hot. The sky was burning. It was summer, from the looks of it.

There was only one cloud in the sky.

I was lying in the grass and children were playing around me in silence. I had never seen children playing in silence. But that they did. They moved their little hands and feet as if they were afraid they would crumble.

I stood on my elbows, looking around. In front of me I saw a tall, red-bricked Victorian house, old and washed of its comfort, with rickety walls and dusty windows.

The sun craftily unraveled the ragged sight. The swings were jumping in the air but the children stood far away from them. There were some hyacinths at my feet. When I touched their petals, they burned.

I could hear horses neighing in the street and people talking. I felt only a wall separated us.

I would have stayed and enjoyed this summery world, but when I looked behind me I saw an awful sight. The houses and the streets in the back were fading slowly, they were crumbling into tiny pieces and falling into… a great, big white.

I thought it was just a dream, but it was getting closer. Every clod of earth was disappearing with infinite speed. I felt the centre of the world shaking.

I got up quickly.

It was a precipice building slowly. I was going to fall into it unless I ran away.

I tried getting the children to follow me but they fell into the precipice laughing. I screamed. I jumped the stairs, into the house.

It was dark and hot and sweaty. There were portraits of people in chains on the walls and they all stared at me like I had done something wrong.

What was this? The carpets swung in the air and wrapped around my body, hugging me tight.

'Let me go! Let me go!'

They threw me around the rooms until I felt dizzy and blood was coming out of my mouth. They threw me against the walls and they fell into the precipice.

Suddenly a door opened and I was pushed inside.

Complete, welcoming silence. It looked like an office. It was very bleak and empty.

A woman was sitting in a tall armchair. She looked about thirty.

Across from her sat a tiny boy that was holding the ends of his chair with fierceness, almost as if he was trying to back away from her.

'I know you're trying to make friends, Tom, but do you think this is a good way? I mean forcing people to like you, that doesn't really work, does it? Wouldn't you like it for them to appreciate you for who you are?'

'But they don't, either way.'

'Well, if you tried being kinder and more gentler, they might,' the woman said, smiling tightly.

'But that's not who I am. You said they should appreciate me for who I am.'

'Well, who are you then? Do you even know?'

He remained quiet, in deep thought. I walked across from him to see him better. He was a very handsome little boy, but his manners seemed coarse.

'All I know is that I tried making Mary my friend but she pushed me away. I went over to her and hugged her and she pushed me off. Said I was choking her.'

'Did you choke her, Tom?'

'I just took her in my arms. Is that a crime?'

'But what if she didn't want to be touched?'

'Why wouldn't she?'

'If I touched you right now, what would you do?'

Tom looked at her and smiled. 'Then touch me. No one does anyway.'

The woman coughed and settled her glasses.

'The point is, you cannot invade people's privacy without their consent. They might get the wrong idea.'

'Why aren't you touching me yet? You said you would touch me,' he said, his eyes growing darker. There was a secret light in them. I could see it.

'Why, I don't usually…that is not my job. I'm not your mother, I'm here as a counsellor, as support,' she said.

'Don't make me beg, just come over here,' he said gravely. 'Give me your support.'

Then suddenly I saw a little girl coming through the wall, yelling and crying. Her arm was broken and she was holding it with her other arm. She was full of scars.

'Don't do it, Miss Jenkins! Don't do it, Miss Jenkins!' she yelled.

I looked at her in horror. I tried grasping her arm but I touched nothing but air.

Other little girls appeared that looked just like her. They all had broken arms and scars.

'Don't do it!'

Tom's eyes were mesmerizing indeed. It was hard to resist doing what he said. He looked like a little child in need of affection.

So the woman rose from her chair and walked towards him. She knelt in front of him and put her hand on his hair. He smiled sweetly, the kind of smile I had rarely seen him wear.

The woman melted at his feet and held his head with gentleness.

Tom took her white hands and kissed them. She sighed and started crying silently. Her glasses fell to the floor.

The deepest shade of blue pervaded his eyes. He closed his lips on her forehead.

'Will you take me away?' he asked sweetly.

'Oh, yes, oh yes, I will! I will,' she whispered passionately.

'Good. You should adopt me.'

I felt my feet shaking and when I looked down I saw a small crevice in the floor. The earth started moving again. The door flew open and the precipice swallowed the room.

I jumped out the window, into the street. I almost broke my back, but I kept running. The street was quickly closing in. It was hot as ever.

I quickly called for a cab and I jumped in. The horses were not rushing at all, even though it was obvious the earth was crumbling.

When I looked around me, I saw Tom and the young Miss Jenkins sitting across from me.

Tom was wearing new clothes and was holding her hand. She looked at him lovingly. A shadow of fear sometimes crept inside her eyes but she quickly pushed it away, or rather Tom did it for her.

'I have prepared a room for you,' she told him gently. 'I hope you'll like it.'

'Aren't we going to sleep together?' he asked boldly.

I bolted my eyes at him. The nerve he had! He must have been only nine or so.

'No, we aren't going to. Not yet,' she said blushing.

I felt dizzy and looked out the window to see if the ground was still shaking.

'Then I will sleep at your feet, I don't care,' he said sweetly.

She hugged him. I shook my head.

The woman pulled the hem of her dress which was stuck between her legs. When she leant in, I took a good look at her chest. There was a small scar, in the shape of a cross on her left breast.

I stared at it in horror.

I tried getting out of the cab, but the door was stuck.

Tom's hand landed on hers and he held it tightly. Then he kissed her cheek. She blushed again.

I felt sick to my stomach.

When the cab stopped, I looked outside and saw we were in a tiny neighbourhood of sorts. It was full of greenery and the houses were neatly pressed one into the other. Women were coming home from the market.

The two climbed out of the cab and I followed them reluctantly.

They stepped inside a white house that had a porch full of flowered pots. The windows were covered by yellow drapes.

I shut the door behind me. The woman put his small luggage on the floor.

'I'll go into the kitchen and make us some drinks.'

Tom nodded and looked around carefully. He seemed pleased. He felt relaxed, I could tell. I gathered he hadn't liked his previous residence. He had gone through the ordeal of making this woman bring him here. If she had adopted him, he was an orphan.

The woman led him into a drawing room and they both sat down on a plush sofa.

'Listen, Margaret,' he began after sipping his drink, 'I am an independent man. I hope you don't expect me to treat you like a mother or a wife. I will lead my own life. I just need you to be nice and quiet. And I will love you. Is that alright?'

She stared at him in silence for a couple of moments.

'What do you mean independent? If I'm not your wife or your mother, what am I?'

He remained silent.

'Well, I will care for you,' she managed to say. 'But I'm sure you will do the same.'

'I think that soon some people will come and try to take me away. You have to fight them with your life, understand? I must not be taken away.'

'Taken away?' she shrieked. 'But why?'

'Well, because I'm different. Or special, if you like. And some don't like that. I mean I think they don't.'

'Oh, Tom, you will never be taken away from me, not on my watch, I swear!'

He smiled.

'Good, that's good. I will trust you on this,' he said, though his eyes showed different.

The room suddenly filled with water. With lots and lots of water. But I could still breathe. I looked around in shock.

I had to get used to this. This was his mind, this was an imagination.

The room now looked like an aquarium. I saw women and children floating through the water, familiar faces, I just couldn't name them.

The walls parted and the aquarium expanded. I saw the women and children coming to life and dancing through the water. When I looked up, there was no sky, just more water. I tried swimming up, but I just bumped into more bodies.

And above them all, Tom and the young woman were sitting silently, holding hands. I couldn't understand what this meant.

I just swam higher and higher until I finally found a hole. It was a black one.

I crept through it and found myself in a marble-floored room.

The walls were lit by torches.

Tom was walking towards me. He passed me. He was looking far away, into the distance.

I saw what he was looking at. It was a snake that was gliding across the floor.

I ran after him.

This was Hogwarts, I could tell. I didn't know why Tom was running from a snake though. It seemed highly unlikely. Didn't he like them? After all...he was the heir.

The snake finally reached him and rose up high into the air.

'Back off,' Tom muttered.

But the snake surrounded his neck, trying to smother him. I almost yelped in fear.

Tom opened his mouth in panic and the snake jumped into his mouth.

Tom fell to the floor coughing like mad. He spat a black liquid I had never seen before.

He just lay there, making some strange, painful sounds. He was holding his stomach in fear.

'For this power, you need to make a sacrifice, a sacrifice, a sacrifice,' a voice suddenly rang into my ears. I looked around, I saw nothing.

'Give me something in return, else I never give you back your soul,' the voice said.

I froze. Who was this? What was this snake? It felt like the mark of the Dark Arts.

What had Tom done? Had he played too far into the Dark Arts? Was he being punished?

Suddenly the walls parted again and I saw a girl sitting on a bed of roses in a garden, throwing kisses at me. But Tom was behind me.

I knew that girl.

She was not wearing her glasses, but it was Moaning Myrtle.

Her hair was parted into strips, gliding down her shoulders. She was wearing her school uniform, but her blouse was not buttoned up.

She was beckoning Tom to her. Her hollow laughter filled my ears. When Tom approached her, she threw roses at him and enveloped him into a hug.

Tom tried getting away from her, but her nails were biting into his skin.

She threw him on the bed of flowers and crushed her mouth on his.

He tried pushing her away, but to no avail.

I ran towards them and tried pulling her away but I fell down.

And suddenly…I saw the snake coming out of Tom's mouth and gliding down her own throat.

Her eyes turned red and she started screaming.

Her eyes shot blood into the air as she continued screaming.

I covered my ears.

The roses covered me entirely, the petals were everywhere. I just wanted to get away.

I felt everything going fuzzy.

No, it was foggy.

I started coughing. It was smoke. It was a poker table.

The light was dim. There were four men playing cards. There were bottles of wine and whiskey everywhere.

There were other men sitting on black sofas in the back. They were emptying small bags of white powder and laughing like hyenas. One of them started beating himself. Another started throwing the glasses on the floor.

'Fuckin' good stuff!'

'Get over here and give me that!'

'Come on, ladies, don't shy away!'

Three tall, beautiful women were walking upstairs.

It felt like an orgy. They entered a room where they were getting undressed and the men were shutting the door.

'Tell me all about your life,' one of them was saying. I turned my head and saw Riddle holding one of those girls. He was leading her into a room.

'What do you want me to tell you?'

'You're the boss, aren't you? They tell me you are. You must be really rich to get all this stuff for free.'

'No, actually, I have no money. I just run an empty business,' he said smiling.

'I want to know more.'

He threw her against the wall and started kissing her hungrily.

She wanted to undress him but he pushed her hands away and tied them to her back with his wand. She didn't seem to protest.

He quickly undressed her. I really didn't want to see this.

Although something caught my eye. In a corner I saw a young woman, a very plain looking one. She was sitting in a chair, knitting. Odd.

I came closer to her and touched her shoulder. She flinched.

'Let me work, will you? I'll feed you later. Or I don't know…maybe even later,' she said.

'Who are you?' I asked.

'You're the reason he left,' she almost yelled. 'You are. Your dad left cuz of you. You horrible thing. You were the cause.'

I backed away. Her words were as cold as knives.

'You! He left me, it's your fault,' she kept yelling. 'If it weren't for you...'

I saw the young girl sink to the floor as Riddle proceeded undressing her further.

All this while, the young woman in the chair was watching them, knitting.

'It was your fault he left!' she kept saying.

He looked up slowly, interrupting his kissing. When he saw her, he groaned and rolled his eyes.

'Who started her up again? I told you, no one disturb her! I had barely got her to be quiet! Now she'll never shut up,' he said darkly.

'Is there a problem, sugar?' the girl underneath him asked.

'My mum won't shut up, she keeps talking,' he said annoyed.

The girl looked around confused. 'Your mum? Goodness, where is she?'

'She's in that chair, knitting,' he said nodding towards her.

The girl looked towards the corner, then back at him.

'I don't see anyone. Are you sure you see your mum?'

'Yes, she's there,' he said, sighing.

'Are you alright?' she asked, worried.

He smiled towards her and ripped off her bra. 'I'm alright. The question is, will you be?'

I felt a needle pinching me.

Suddenly I was dragged across the floor. I shouted.

I was being sewn. I could feel it.

I felt the great big needles in my ribcage. When I looked up I saw a big, wet nose.

The woman was knitting me.

I fell into a thread, a big, blue one.

When I opened my eyes I was sitting on someone's back. No, it was just a box.

Some luggage.

I saw a young man carrying some luggage in a container. I was sitting in it.

We were in the countryside. The road wasn't very good. I kept hopping and jumping up. It was very bumpy.

It was night fall. The air was chilly.

It was thawing. We were in a village of some sorts. I looked up and saw a large mansion, atop a green hill.

I jumped out and started walking towards that hill. I didn't know why, but something was drawing me towards it.

Maybe it was the lit windows. Maybe it was the hope that it would be warm. And that I would find Tom.

I arrived at the front door and pushed it open. I barely had to try. It wasn't even guarded.

I entered the hall way. I passed two men that looked like porters but who didn't take mind of me. It was dark everywhere, except for a candle or two that were lighting the way.

I took my chances and took a left turn.

I heard voices from afar. The same two porters appeared on the stairs.

When I looked back, they were still in the entrance hall.

I passed them again.

I found them once more in a corridor. They were admiring a picture. I looked at it myself. It was the portrait of a woman, holding two cats. It was nothing too extraordinary.

The voices were getting closer.

I saw a door in front that was half open. The porters were there again.

I pushed through them and entered the room.

It was a study of some sorts. Someone was sitting at a desk. And another person sat in the opposite chair.

The elder man looked very much like Tom, only he seemed like a grown man, but he was just as handsome. And Tom was sitting across from him.

They were both smoking cigars.

They seemed to be chatting.

'I will give you some shares that I have. I got meddled in this oil business and I could give you those shares. They would come in hand,' the elder man said.

'Mr. Riddle, while that sounds very…tempting, I would like something more substantial.'

Mr. Riddle. It all made sense now. It was his father. He had found his father.

But why hadn't his father taken him from the orphanage in the first place?

'More substantial? I don't know Tom… I will have to think.'

'I'm your son. I think I deserve more. I wouldn't want to stain your good name and let everyone know of my disappointing heritage.'

'No, no, of course not…but, I mean, I am not ashamed of you! You know, I did love your mother, if even at all. But it was just…a lie, an illusion. You should be able to understand. We thought we were meant for each other. I woke up from the dream earlier than she did. It's life.'

'Yes, she told me all that crap, don't worry,' Tom cut him off coldly.

'What I mean to say, Tom, is that I am not displeased you are my son. I see you are a fine man, leading your own life…'

'I am just fifteen you know…'

'So? At your age, I was up and about.'

'Screwing my mother, perhaps?' he asked coldly.

'Now, Tom, what kind of language is that?'

'Listen, I don't have time for this. You have no other fucking children. Why not let me have the house?'

'I…Tom, I am still hoping I can have an heir…'

'You already have one.'

'But Betsy really wishes to have children. And when we do have a young one, he will want this house.'

'But this house is rightfully mine,' Tom cut him off.

'Not if I have a word to say,' senior Riddle replied bluntly.

'Why are you making this difficult? You never provided for me, you never even had the decency to find out if I'm still alive, you left my mother and me to rot for all you cared. You moved on and didn't look back. And I really couldn't care less. If you want to be a fucktard, be my guest. But give me what is mine. You owe me at least that.'

'All these years, your mother lied to me! I never…look, I was too young! When I got involved with her, I had no idea what I was getting into. I couldn't take care of you or raise you. I was no father! It was best I left. I thought your mother could handle it. My parents were about to disown me…I would send her money afterwards.'

'Enough with the excuses.'

'If I hadn't left, you wouldn't even have anything to demand!'

'Oh, nice turn there, _father_. Nice one. Well then, hand over the papers.'

'I will not sign anything.'

'If you don't do it, I make sure Betsy never has any children. And I'll make sure she will suffer on your account too.'

'How dare you threaten my wife? You're just a child, you can't do anything to her!'

'Oh, Betsy! Could you come in here please?' he asked sweetly.

A woman entered the room shyly. My mouth fell to the floor. It was the same woman I had seen Riddle undress and have sex with in that room.

She was holding the door gently. I could see her chest rising and falling.

And there it was. Another scar.

I hugged myself tightly.

'I think your wife would like to tell you some things. Betsy, wouldn't you like Mr. Riddle here to know what fun you had?'

'Betsy, please go away,' Mr. Riddle beckoned her. 'We have business to discuss here.'

But Betsy ran into the room and crawled towards Riddle's chair. She grabbed his leg.

'What is my wife doing?' Mr. Riddle shrieked.

Betsy was holding Tom's leg and kissing it, smiling.

'What is this?'

'I'm sorry, dear, I really am!' she said through tears. But she kept smiling. 'I want Tom to love me, I will die without him!'

I touched my own scar and shivered. No, would he do this to me as well?

No, no, the scar couldn't control me! I had proven it to him!

Had I? What if he had let me believe that? What if I had been wrong?

No, it was different! With me, it was different.

I backed away until I hit the wall.

'If I want, I can make your wife kill herself in front of you by just telling her I never want to see her again,' Tom said smiling and leaning into his chair happily.

He put away the cigar.

'Now, I know this is big news for you, but I love to be the bearer of good news, so I should tell you that dear Betsy is carrying. Now, don't worry, I didn't do it, though I did certainly try. I took care with her, so it's all your work,' Tom said nonchalantly.

'You're a vile child! Demon! What are you? Let my wife go!' the elder Riddle yelled and tried pulling her away.

'Noooo! Leave me alone! I am going to stay with Tommy! Leave me alone you disgusting hag!'

'Let my wife go!'

'Will you sign the papers?'

'I…I'll call the police.'

Tom yawned and caressed Betsy's head.

'Betsy, dear, I hate you. I don't want to see your sorry face again.'

Betsy's eyes widened considerably.

'Tom, what…what did you say?' she asked clinging to him and trembling.

'I said get the fuck away from me,' he said pushing her away with his leg.

She fell in the middle of the floor.

She tried crawling back but he pushed her away.

'But you don't mean that!' she yelled.

'Oh, I do.'

She started crying and pulling at her hair. Then she started beating her chest. After which she ran towards the book case and beat her head against the wall. She broke the glass of the drink case and cut herself all over.

Her husband ran towards her and tried holding her but she was determined to fight. She was determined to hurt herself.

'If Tom doesn't want me, I don't want myself!' she screamed.

I couldn't take it anymore. I went to Tom and shook his shoulders.

'Let her go! Please!' I yelled.

But he didn't see me. He was watching Betsy.

Betsy had managed to take out the small knife her husband used to cut off his cigars.

She pushed it towards her throat.

'Betsy! Betsy give me that! Please stop!' he yelled.

'If she doesn't die today, she will tomorrow. She will throw herself out the window, or choke herself or take some pills…she'll find a way. And if she doesn't she will suffer continuously,' Tom told him coldly.

'Why? Why are you doing this?' the elder Riddle yelled, almost crying.

'Because you treated my mother like shit, you treated me like shit, and now it's my turn. Because you ruined my life, you sodding bastard. One word, one word and I can make it all go away. Just sign the damn papers.'

Riddle the Senior rushed to his desk and took hold of the papers Riddle had brought to him that evening.

He took out a pen and started writing. Slowly, Betsy was coming to her senses.

Her eyes weren't so dark and stormy anymore. Now she was sitting quietly on the floor, looking at the knife in wonder.

'There! You have my house and all my properties! Now, will you leave my wife and child alone?' he yelled.

Tom smiled serenely.

'Now was that so hard?' he asked.

He got up and took the papers away.

'Tom, why are you leaving?' Betsy asked worried.

Tom looked at her with all the gentleness he could muster and pointed at her husband.

'I will be moving into the house soon,' Tom told senior Riddle.

He walked towards the door with a smile on his face.

'Tom!' Betsy yelped.

'It's alright, Betsy, he will go away,' Riddle Senior told her cradling her in his arms. 'You will be alright again, I promise.'

I followed Tom out the door. He climbed down the stairs slowly. I felt he had something planned. I just didn't know what.

He pushed open the entrance and we both stepped into the crisp night air.

He looked up towards the lit window where I saw a dark figure.

It was Betsy. Her palms were plastered to the window. She was waving at him.

Tom looked at her with sadness and blew her a kiss.

I saw Betty walk away from the window.

I thought that was the end of it.

But after half a moment, there was a sudden crash.

Riddle Senior was thrown out the window. The slivers of glass crashed into smithereens.

And he fell on the hard cement with a thump.

A pool of blood engulfed him as his crushed face revealed a great shock. He hadn't expected this, not from his Betsy.

I crawled at his feet and started crying.

Then I looked up at Tom.

He was smiling and blowing kisses to Betsy.

Before I could make out anything, he had disappeared.

I was left alone, with Riddle Senior's dead, bloody corpse.

And I fell down next to him. I fell on the cold cement. I hoped something would clean me, I hoped something would take me away.

I hoped I could get rid of everything.

My scar hurt me, my mind hurt me, I just wanted out.

And then, I was saved.

The river welcomed me in its hold again and swung me to and fro.

I felt the wonderful, delightful feeling of salty rays sparkling in front of my eyes. The warmth made me want to sleep.

But I couldn't.

I had to wake up.

I had to run away.

I had to stay…

My memories were fading. I couldn't get up. My feet were burning. I looked at my arms. They were disintegrating. So were my legs. I felt my heart crushing.

No! The flames.

The flames that want to punish me.

Riddle's defenses were back, I could feel them. The flames were crushing me.

I had never experienced Crucio, but this must have been it. This must have been the horrible curse.

The flames surrounded the river and soaked my brain. Suddenly, my memories and thoughts ran amok everywhere. I tried catching them, but they were dying. Slowly…

I tried catching one, holding onto one desperately, but my mind slipped, my fingers slipped…

Slowly, I was losing my memories.

It was strange, but I finally understood the sacrifice.

If you wanted to enter his mind and see his memories, you had to lose some of yours.

It was the perfect weapon.

But I had entered his mind. Something I suspected no one had really done.

Not like me.

I felt like crying. I felt special. I felt like I had something no one else had.

And at the same time I felt robbed of my memories.

Why had I been able to see it? Why had he let me?

He must have let me. Could that kiss really have weakened his defenses?

What was it? What was his game?

He wouldn't have let me see this precious information. No, no, no…

Then, what, what? How?

Was I going to lose everything?

No, I still had the kiss.

I closed my eyes and opened my lips.

I waited patiently.

After a couple of minutes, I felt another mouth on mine. And I slipped my tongue next to his. And I felt my head hitting the shelves.

We were still kissing. I was almost trying to choke him with his tie.

That's because I was so scared. I was so scared of what I had seen.

But he was trying to push away. My waist was hurting, he was holding it too tight and my scar was burning too.

So I bit into his lip frightened and angry.

All those scars! All those women! How many more? How many?

And was he evil?

No…yes….no….yes.

I felt blood trickling down my teeth but I didn't let go.

'Okay, I know this is really romantic but you have to stop!' a voice shrieked into our ears.

We parted breathlessly. I opened my eyes to the world.

It was that stupid librarian again.

We were still in the library. The books had fallen around us.

'It's not allowed to kiss in here, although I know it's a stupid rule! Because this is a very good place,' she kept blabbering. 'But please, it might get me into trouble. So keep it to yourself, or else you have to get out.'

With that, she left us happily.

I didn't dare look at him.

He was also breathing heavily.

I wiped my forehead and my lips and tried straightening up.

He looked at me with spidery eyes, full of want and anger and…something else.

'Who is this Harry Potter you worship so much?'

I shot up like I had just been touched by fire.

'Who?'

'And who is this Ronald you're so fond of?'

I looked at him in shock. How in the world…?

'But more importantly, who is this Voldemort? Why are you planning on killing him?'

'What are you talking ab…' I began, but it suddenly hit me.

'Y-you…you saw into my mind?' I yelled.

He remained silent and stoic. But I could see a small smile at the corner of his lips.

'You used Legilimens on me!'

'Well, of course, what do you think that kiss was for?' he asked nonchalantly.

Unbelievable! He had done the same!

But I had cast Legilimens on him as well!

That's why he hadn't managed to throw me out quickly enough, that's why he had let me in, he was in my mind! He was watching my memories, just like I was watching his!

Only mine…mine were more dangerous. What had he seen?

'What did you see?'

'Oh, many things…many embarrassing things I should say. But it was rather enjoyable.'

'Tell me!'

'Why should I tell you anything?'

'Because…because I looked into your mind as well.'

He froze.

He didn't know. Just like I hadn't realized he had been in my mind, he didn't either. He looked at me with surprise.

But it passed quickly, replaced by anger.

'What did you say?'

'That's right, Riddle,' I said, holding my breath.

I took out my wand.

'Tell me what you saw,' he muttered darkly.

'You tell me first!' I told him.

But he remained silent. Our wands were drawn. I was ready for him, whatever came.

'You do realize, Greystone, this means war.'

'Bring it on, I don't care,' told him bravely.

'You do not want me as an enemy.'

'Oh, yes I do!'

I was ready to hex him when suddenly….

'Jane! Jane! Oh…you're here with Riddle…'

Catherine and Bridget had appeared out of nowhere.

'We've come to tell you Vicky is crying and we can't help her! She won't let us. You must come with us!' they moaned.

'I know she's crying…' I muttered lowering my wand as Riddle lowered his.

'Are you two fighting?' they asked.

'No,' he said.

'Yes,' I said.

The two girls looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders.

'Well, you'll have to fight another time, you must come with us Jane.'

'Yes…we will, another time,' Riddle said, looking at me with a hateful smile on his face. But I saw behind it. He was boiling with hidden anger. He shot me daggers.

I shot back.

Eventually, the girls dragged me out of there, but Riddle had stayed in the same spot, following me with his eyes.

I knew he was looking at me with all the spite he could muster.

I had looked into his mind. I had done it. But only because he had tried looking into mine. He was punished. As was I.

But I soon realised my punishment was much worse.

Because when I tried thinking of Ron and Harry, I realized I couldn't remember any memory I had of Ron.

I remembered who he was, but I couldn't bring out any memory of him. All of it was forgotten. I tried as hard as I could to remember something. But no. I remembered his face and his name. And that was all. I knew from what Riddle had told me that I had feelings for him. But beyond that...

That had been the price. All my memories of him were gone. Just like that.


	16. Little Black Snake

**Hey everyone! Back from a gruelling period of exams! Well, actually it wasn't that gruelling. But I couldn't really write on this story, I did update some other minor ones, but I couldn't yet focus completely on my biggest project. But now you have my undivided attention. Well, almost:) The exams went pretty great but I did have some nasty surprises along the way. **

**Anyway, I hope the wait wasn't long. Thanks everyone for the support and thank you anonymous reviewers for your constant and consistent reviews, you rock! **

**This chapter I wrote in a day and a half after some painful thinking. I just hope this story doesn't go in the wrong direction. Tom will make an appearance here but in a different form, you'll see what I mean. This chapter has to be my most contrived one, but I tried my best. Please tell me what you think! (hopefully it's not too incredibly sappy)  
**

_Say _  
_ Goodbye _  
_ Sunshine _  
_ Daylight _  
_ 'Cause it's just another day _  
_ You will lose it anyway _

_ Kiss _  
_ The time _  
_ That goes _  
_ Away _  
_ 'Cause it's just another day _  
_ You will lose it anyway_

Air - Another Day_  
_

Chapter 16: Little Black Snake

I sat on the stairs of the girl's dormitory trying to remember or rather, trying to bring back the memory of Ron.

'Ronald Weasley, son of Molly Weasley and Arthur Weasley,' I told myself. 'He has one sister, Ginny and five brothers which are Bill, Charlie, Percy, Fred and George. Bill is a curse breaker for the Gringotts Bank and probably the most handsome of the bunch, Charlie is a dragon tamer, Percy works for the Ministry and is currently a big sod and Fred and George are the world's most notorious twins.'

That didn't seem to work that well.

'He has an aunt, Muriel? I know she smells like mould.'

This was making it worse. All I could see was a shock of red hair and a pair of confused and sleepy blue eyes. I could see him, but I couldn't hear him. He was moving his lips, as if he was trying with all his might to get to me, but I couldn't hear the words.

It hurts a lot when you're practically deaf to whatever your best friend is saying; especially when you know you must have had some key moments with that person. It's like you're famished and you can feel the taste of food in your mouth, but you can never have any. I slapped my forehead, knowing it wouldn't help, but doing it anyway.

'God damn it!' I exclaimed at one point. 'Why am I even sitting here?'

Oh yes, I remembered. Vicky was crying in the dormitory and it wasn't the best time to walk up there. I would have called it a ridiculous thing, but seeing as the situation was quite serious and it had been partially my fault, I decided not to voice my opinions on the matter.

I knew Black didn't belong here in his state, but I couldn't understand why both Riddle and Vicky seemed to believe he was no better off at Saint Mungo.

I knew that hospital as a place of peace and quiet, where Neville's parents were treated and kept alive and where Mr. Weasley had been saved that night from the snake bite. I even imagined working there one day, helping patients.

It seemed that not everyone shared my view. I wanted to talk to Vicky and ask her why she believed Saint Mungo was an ill choice, but knowing her fits, I had more chances making friends with Greta Goyle.

'Oh look who it is, the little Mudblood, all sad and miserable,' an irritating voice made me jump.

Nott was standing in my proximity, arms folded and a smug look on his face.

'What do _you_ want?' I asked, rather unceremoniously.

'Just to tell you, you little bitch, that you won't get away with getting rid of Black. His family will have a say in this and it is you who will get the end of the stick. I'll be there to watch your sorry little face when you finally hit rock bottom.'

'I'd be careful with idiotic threats that have no real basis, you wouldn't want to get on my bad side,' I replied, slightly smarmier than I had intended.

'Riddle is not your knight in shining armour, Mudblood, he'll not be there every time you decide to act stupid. Don't think that simply because he intervened once he doesn't know the type of tramp that you are. He _is_ one of us and just like us, he wants your kind extinct, if you know what I mean.'

'You think I meant Riddle? I think you don't know how vicious _I_ can be with a wand,' I said annoyed.

'I think you're quite pathetic if you think your wand can ever touch me,' he replied.

'If I am pathetic, what are you? You're a git without any sense of dignity or respect for your own person that runs around like an idiot, following a deranged guy that will inflict pain on you out of pleasure.'

I could see the anger swelling in his chest, but I was quite hot under the collar myself and ready to smack that face of his.

'Do you want to fight here, in the common room?' I asked, seeing as his wand was drawn. So was mine.

He was holding it by his side undecided. He didn't want to cause any form of riot but he did want to hurt me.

'If we were outside, Mudblood, I wouldn't hesitate to give you what you have coming. I'd wipe off that little smirk of yours.'

Without any warning, I grabbed him by the shoulders and kneed him in that place where the sun doesn't shine. I think I did a pretty good job because his face went white and he stared at me in utter shock and pain.

He made a high-pitched, shrilly sound that even Mrs. Norris would have envied.

'Excuse me, I have to go now and savour this victory,' I told him, walking past him nonchalantly.

I climbed up the stairs and entered the dorm.

I could still hear some soft sounds coming from Victoria's bed.

'I told you I didn't want to see you,' she mumbled as she got up from the bed.

'The dorm is not your property, I'm going to my bed,' I told her curtly. I wasn't in the mood for _her _moods.

'Fine then,' she answered turning away.

I flopped onto my bed and took out my homework. I had two more essays to write after which I would allow myself to think of what had just happened. I took out my quill and my books and started writing almost mechanically.

After two hours, my hand hurt already. I stopped and blew air over the papers that were seared with fresh ink.

The fact that worried me the most was that Riddle had seen into my mind. How much had he seen? Did he know who I was? The name Hermione would mean nothing to him. But what if he saw important things? I couldn't just erase his memory, could I? He seemed to know how to do that even without trying.

I had seen into his mind too, so he must be worrying about the same thing, if he ever does worry. And what I saw was a lost little boy that had turned into a domineering, insecure young man over time. No conscience, no moral principles, just a desire to be loved and to be in control. Much like any dictator, he savoured in the feeling of power over others. Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely, a great man once said. This was his case.

I thought of Harry's scar. Did that scar have anything to do with mine? Did it only apply to women? No, that did not make sense.

All of those women had been subjected to his whims by this very scar. But it must be different.

If he could do that to all of them, why hadn't he done it yet with me? What was stopping him?

Was he waiting for the right moment? No, that was stupid.

Was it going to happen soon?

If there was a slight chance that the git could do something to me, I had to take precautions.

The first thing I had to do was to get rid of this scar.

I looked over the pages that were drying. The ink was still shining in the dim light.

The ink curved in front of my eyes and I remembered Salazar's writing.

_If you give me your blood, I will help you with this Tom Riddle..._he had said.

I opened my trunk and took out Salazar's parchments.

I know what my Hermione-conscience would say right now. 'Take them immediately to Dumbledore!'

And I also know what Harry would say. 'Maybe you should first give it a look.'

But everyone knew what had happened to Ginny. That would certainly never happen again. To anyone. I'd make sure of that.

These parchments were different though, because they were inhabited by Salazar and not Tom Riddle.

I took my chances and stuffed them in my bag, planning on paying Dumbledore a visit.

Since our so-called Christmas together, we had met during Transfiguration classes and he had been very polite and discreet about everything. Every time we talked after classes he never mentioned anything about me or my identity. It was a bit uncanny. There I was, a girl he knew nothing of, and he was being very calm about it. He acted as if he had forgotten all about it which did not make me feel more comfortable as he had expected. He was trying to treat me normally, but it was only more painfully obvious that something was amiss.

I would have wanted him to talk openly to me, but knowing his cryptic character, I never knew if he would approach me tomorrow or in three months.

He seemed almost too well-adjusted with the notion that I was a complete stranger from the future. I have to say I was too well-adjusted myself.

I passed Vicky's bed. She turned around again.

'I'm going to see professor Dumbledore,' I told her.

'I didn't ask,' she replied coldly.

'I just thought you should know,' I shrugged. I couldn't take any more arguments with Victoria. She was a spoilt girl that needed to understand Black was not safe in this school.

Until she did that, I would leave her to herself.

* * *

'Come in, come in,' Dumbledore's warm voice beckoned behind the door. I pushed it open and entered his office meekly.

Every time I walked in there, I imagined McGonagall sitting there instead of him. Probably because I had been used with her there rather than him.

'Hello, Sir, may I please talk to you?' I asked.

'Of course, Miss Greystone, have a seat,' he said conjuring a red armchair for me in front of his desk.

I sank into it rather awkwardly.

'You might be wondering why I've come. I wanted to show you something I discovered in the Restricted Section of the Library. I found it while I was looking for some books there. I have to tell you I have no idea how it got there in the first place and why it would still be on Hogwarts grounds. Although probably it does make sense for it to be in this school, but it has survived so many centuries…'

'Jane, could you just tell me?' he said smiling.

'Right,' I coughed smiling as well. 'Well, Sir, I will just have to show you.'

I pulled out the parchments and settled them on the desk.

He took them between his long fingers and examined them a long time.

'Hmm, an Essay on the Evolution of the Flubberworm Mucus,' he read. 'It should prove fascinating. I hear professor Slughorn praises your class work. However, I cannot see why this is important, Jane.'

I snatched the parchments from him and looked them over. They were white, completely blank. How could he not see that? Why did he see my essay?

'But Sir…you can't see?'

'See what, Miss Greysyone?'

'Well, the pages are blank. There is nothing written on them.'

'Oh, but I can see your handwriting quite well even though I am getting a bit rusty,' he said chuckling.

I should have expected this. I should know Salazar would play his tricks in order to remain hidden.

'Sir, please believe me. The pages are completely blank. Look,' I said and took out my quill from the bag. I conjured a bottle of ink and quickly wrote something on the parchment. It vanished.

'Did you see? It vanished.'

'Jane, why did you write 'Rolling Stones' on the papers? It's still quite visible,' he answered.

'Please, Sir, you have to believe me.'

He raised his eyebrow and nodded his head. Taking out his wand he muttered an incantation unfamiliar to me.

There was a puff in the air and the papers flew up in a quick jolt before falling on the desk again.

'Well?'

'I'm afraid it's still your essay,' he said.

He pressed his long hand over it and whispered another spell. This time I saw a blue flame form between his palm and the papers.

'I used a stronger spell,' he said at length. 'But all I can see, Miss Greystone, is your essay.'

'That is because there must be Dark Magic at hand.'

'Blue flame indicates no involvement of the Dark Arts.'

'These are Salazar Slytherin's parchments,' I blurted out.

He looked up slightly surprised.

'I know because I have written to him and he says he is Salazar Slytherin.'

Dumbledore looked downright worried now.

'You have written to him?'

'Yes…I believe it might be him. His memory was preserved in the parchments.'

'Jane, I know of only one document pertaining to Salazar Slytherin and that is his diary.'

'Then this must be parts of his diary,' I replied.

'That would be difficult to prove since the only existing parchments are sealed at Gringotts.'

'At Gringotts? But surely, there are different sort of parchments.'

'Well, it has all of Salazar's writing,' Dumbledore stated.

'It may be so,' I said trying to keep calm, 'but the papers I am holding here must be an important part of that diary.'

'How can you be so sure it is him?'

'Well, when I write, he answers back in writing. It is obviously a memory trapped in these papers. It might not be Salazar's but it is someone's memory, I'm sure.'

'Salazar's memory in the castle while his own heir is a student here, it would be a probable theory,' Dumbledore said pensively.

'It is a big coincidence, isn't it? He might want something from him. Or the other way around. And knowing Riddle, he would probably use it to wreak havoc.'

'I see…Jane, why don't you give me these papers and I will keep them with me and inspect them thoroughly?' he said. 'I know you are not lying to me. I am going to try and discover what their meaning is. If they are dangerous, I will deal with them accordingly.'

'I would appreciate that, Sir.'

'You are welcome,_ Hermione_.'

I winced and looked at him embarrassed.

'Please don't call me that, Sir.'

'It's a lovely name. Greek one you know.'

'Yes, but it reminds me of many things I wouldn't want to think about right now.'

'I can only imagine.'

'Then…I will leave you, Sir.'

'If anything should happen, don't hesitate to come to me again, Miss Greystone,' he said kindly.

'Thank you, Sir.'

I was walking towards the door when I stopped and looked back at him.

'Yes?'

'Sir, will Black be safe at Saint Mungo?'

Dumbledore's forehead creased slightly. He nodded rather hesitantly.

'Sir, will he?'

'I believe so, Jane. But that depends on him as well.'

'Have I…have I made a mistake? Should he have stayed?' I asked.

'No, Jane, no, his place was not here,' he said, concern spreading over his face. 'Do not trouble yourself for it. It was not your fault.'

'No…it wasn't,' I muttered turning around. 'Goodbye, Sir.'

* * *

I felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest as I walked back to the common room. Dumbledore's presence had that effect. It was the feeling that I wasn't alone. At least with him by my side I would bear things easier. Although there was no easy way to bear losing my memories of Ron.

As I turned a corner, I heard familiar voices in the distance.

I saw a boy and a girl walking in the opposite direction.

'When is he coming back?' the girl asked, her tone soft and low.

'I don't know…he said he would be home by spring time but I can never tell. I can never tell whether he'll be alive. It's maddening…'

I knew them. It was Mary Finnigan and David Potter.

'You tell him we all depend on seeing him alive and well so he'd better return,' she said fiercely.

'I'm afraid you'll have to tell his captain that,' David answered.

'He shouldn't have enrolled in the first place, he needs to help the wizarding community,' she added.

'You know he would have felt like a coward,' David replied bitterly. 'He would never stand sitting aside and not doing anything.'

'He would be doing something! He would be helping us!'

'Others need more help than us,' David told her, patting her shoulder.

'I know, but…you know Grindelwald is no joke. He is a dangerous prick and he's just as demented as Hitler, if not more. He wants to get rid of all the Muggleborns. Sound familiar? We need as much help as we can get.'

'If he comes alive from this battle, he'll go into the next one, like he always does. He'll fight Grindelwald with all his might. I would rather he were a coward, but a living coward, to tell you the truth,' David replied sighing.

'No, you wouldn't…' I heard Mary before both of their voices faded into the darkened hallways. After their conversation was no longer in earshot I moved from my spot.

David's father was enrolled in the army and in great danger. I could only guess what David was going through. All of these people and their loved ones were suffering, hoping every day there would be no more victims and they could finally be free of this agonizing fear.

I knew the outcome of this war, but I didn't know how many more victims it would make. The fact that I couldn't even prevent one death was torturing me.

I hoped beyond hope David's father would come home alive.

* * *

When I reached my bed, the essays were still on the trunk's lid, as I had expected. I half-smiled and sat on the bed. I took the papers and started reading them to see if I had made any mistakes.

Suddenly, each and every paragraph started fading in front of my eyes.

Before I knew it, the pages were a complete blank. I touched them trembling.

'No, it…it can't be,' I whispered.

Then the slender writing appeared again.

_A scholarly work, but hardly proof of real exertion or original thought. _

_How…_I wrote and the ink turned to blood once more.

_You did not really think you could fool me. Or that the old man you call Dumbledore could. He is a skilled wizard, I will give you that. A good challenge, I would say. But nothing beyond that. _

_Salazar…_I wrote, _what do you remember before I found you?_

There was a long pause in which I counted the many answers he could have given me.

_I haven't spoken to anyone in many years, _he finally replied. That wasn't the answer I was expecting.

_And how is it that I found you? Why did nobody else?_

_Others have tried. But they all saw me as simple parchments. They never got through to me.  
_

_Then…why did I? I didn't do anything really._

_If you weren't my kin or hers, you couldn't have found me. __  
_

_Hers? _

_Your blood resembles hers very much.  
_

_Who is she? _I demanded.

_Rowena. _

Ravenclaw?

Rowena Ravenclaw?

I couldn't be "her kin". I was a Muggleborn.

But I remembered he told me she had been Muggleborn too.

Still it was highly unlikely.

I would have been sorted into Ravenclaw immediately, wouldn't I?

_I can't be her kin._

_I know as much. But yet you are able to write to me. And I only reply when I am awoken. _

_I can't be a Ravenclaw heiress, _I scribbled.

_Yes, but all__ evidence contradicts that. _

_It's…not true. _

_Your blood feeds me. I can feel my powers__ growing. _

I pushed the papers away. My head fell into my pillow. He was still writing. I looked from the corner of my eye.

_You must be her heiress. You say my heir is already in the castle._

_Give me your blood and I will help you. I will help you with Dark Magic. _

_No, _I scribbled. _I can't do that. I don't need your help. I can acquire strength on my own._

_You wouldn't stand a chance in the face of Dark Magic. _

_I don't need you to initiate me in the Dark Arts.  
_

_You know you do. __I can help you be stronger. I can help you overcome your fears and defeat **anyone**. __You must have considered it before. _

_No, I haven't, _I lied._ And I'm** not** the heiress.  
_

_If you do not give me your blood, you know what will happen. _

_Actually, I don't know.  
_

_I will have to resort to other means.  
_

My hands were trembling with rage.

_You can't get anything from me. As long as you're in my possession, you depend on me. _

_Silly girl, you are the one who will depend on me. _

_I highly doubt it. _

_If you do not oblige me, I will inflict enormous pain on you. I wouldn't want to do that. _

_Pain does not scare me, _I wrote firmly.

_It will scare you once you feel it. _

_I get threats like that on a daily basis._

_Yes, but mine are real. _

The sentence disappeared like smoke and left a trail of thoughts behind.

I put the papers back in my trunk, shut it tightly and turned off the light.

I lay on the bed, trying to close my eyes, trying to think what my next course of action should be.

I stood up in shock.

I couldn't be Rowena Ravenclaw's heiress.

I rubbed my eyes and put my palms over my face, trying to push away any information.

It was not true.

I shook my head many times. It was horrible. Just like the notion that I was giving my blood to Salazar Slytherin.

All my life I've been a Gryffindor and I wouldn't stop being one now. Salazar was lying to me.

Either that, or this whole time I've been the one in the fog.

The following day I woke up with a numb feeling in my throat. I had no will to talk or to move or even get out of bed. It was Sunday. I didn't need to do anything.

I slept for a long while and I finally willed myself to get up at half past eleven.

Outside, the winter air had dwindled, but the snow was still falling in large heaps.

I put on two sweaters, a woolen skirt and my large coat and I stuffed the parchments in the inside pocket.

I went outside to cool my head. The crisp, frozen air hurt my cheeks but made me feel better.

There were other small flocks of people, going here and there, talking and laughing.

It felt like I hadn't seen Riddle in ages. Luckily, he wasn't outside. I hadn't seen him in the common room either.

Sooner or later I'd have to see him in class.

I walked around, scanning the area close to the Forbidden Forest.

I got close enough, making sure no one was looking in my direction and I slipped beneath the first row of trees. I found a small heap of dirty snow.

I uncovered the snow and dug in the earth with my gloves until I made a small hole. I dumped the papers ungracefully in the hole and covered it again with soil, snow, branches, leaves, anything I could find only to make it go away.

I felt much better after knowing I had left them there. The entire day, I kept telling myself I was not Rowena's was impossible and illogical and everything that horrible wizard was telling me was a lie.

I finished all my homework for the following day and I rewrote the essays that I had given to Dumbledore. After that, I started reading from several books I had lying around. Some of them were from the Restricted Section, filled with little information to help.

Every now and again, I looked at my trunk to see if the papers had reappeared but luckily, nothing like that happened.

When the evening came, I fell asleep like a log, too exhausted from the stress of the day.

* * *

I was lying on a bed of roses. I looked around. I was in a garden. This scenery looked very familiar. I knew where I had seen it before. In Tom's mind. Myrtle, the girl he had killed, had been lying here. And as I remembered, he had fought with her, but he had killed her in the end. Without his wish.

But...the snake had made him do it. The snake had entered her mouth. It had been the sacrifice he had to make.

It suddenly hit me with a force of million needles.

Riddle had sacrificed Myrtle because Salazar Slytherin had demanded it. I remembered everything as clearly as I remembered him. He had said that for that power he needed to make a sacrifice.

Riddle had been a victim for once.

I needed to destroy those papers. I had hidden them in the Forbidden Forest but how long would that last? Harry had destroyed them in his Second Year by using Basilisk venom. Where would I find that venom? Would I have to enter the Chamber of Secrets and get the venom myself? But I didn't speak a word of Parseltongue.

What was I going to do?

I had underestimated the power that I had in my hands.

I had Riddle on one side and Salazar on the other, both very dangerous.

I tried getting up from the bed but a weight was pulling me down.

I felt a hand caressing my hair. As I turned around I saw Tom sitting next to me. Only his hair was slightly longer and more ruffled.

'That was not very nice of you,' he said, his hand still in my hair.

'Burying me like a corpse in the Forbidden Forest is a lack of decorum on your part.'

'Salazar,' I stated as calmly as I could. 'Why did you bring me here?'

'So you have been here before?'

'Let me go.'

'I'm afraid I can't do that,' he said, faking distress. 'But tell me, has Tom mentioned this place to you?'

I froze and looked away.

'If I manage to get into the Chamber of Secrets, I will destroy those papers for good,' I managed to say, clenching my fists.

'Mmm, well at least you have a plan.'

'I am dreaming. You can't hurt me in a dream.'

'I beg to differ,' he said smiling and pulled my hair towards him.

A small black snake slithered across my skin. I knew this snake. It was the same that had chased Riddle.

Wrapping around one of my arms, the snake bit into my neck fiercely.

The pain was worse than any curse I could have been submitted to. It started drawing blood hungrily.

I tried pulling it away from me but I fell back on the bed of roses. I panicked as the snake seemed to inject a venom of fear into my bones that rendered me incapable of any action.

'Look what time has done to your face, Rowena,' he said touching my cheeks. 'You were a proud beauty. And now look at you.'

'I'm not Rowena!' I yelled, my hands already trying to scratch his face.

'You always had to put up a fight,' he said pinning my hands to the ground.

'But in the end you gave in,' he added, his fingers tracing my lips.

* * *

**And that's a wrap! Now wasn't this contrived? The end is sort of a cliffie. More like a psychotic nightmare. **

**Anyway, David Potter will actually have a big part later on so this is why I am expanding his story more. **

**Here's hoping that I did a decent job.  
**


	17. Believe it or not

**Hey guys, I'm back from my long holiday! I'm really sorry for the pretty long delay but I took a break from home so I could recharge my batteries. Basically I travelled a lot :D**

**Now I'm back and ready to write. So here is the new chapter which I hope you will enjoy. Although you will scoff at it a bit, because it is slightly farfetched. Some things are just hard to swallow :) But it will make sense later. I know I keep saying that but I actually have a big plan for it. :)**

**Anyways, thanks so much for those of you who've kept reading and for your lovely, lovely reviews. Anonymous reviewers, you are my sunshine!**

**And now unto the chapter! Don't forget to leave comments (oh and it would be nice to know how you spent your holiday)!**

_I'm not the way that you found me _  
_I'm never here or there _  
_One day I'm happy and healthy _  
_Next I ain't doing so well _

_Let's go walk to the border _  
_Let's go walk along the inch _  
_Let's go when no one can see us _  
_And find the difference between us_

The Dead Weather - The Difference between Us

* * *

Chapter 17: Believe it or not 

Then there was a kiss.

Maybe. I can't know for sure. I had my eyes and body shut down.

Maybe it was a needle stuck in my brain that turned and turned...

But he searched through my brain and my lips.

Heartlessly.

* * *

'Jane! Jane, wake up! Wake up already!'

The voice sounded strangely familiar as it blasted in my ears like a cold river. I felt almost relieved. But then when I flickered my eyes open I saw a furious face looking down on me.

'For heaven's sake, wake up!'

So I did, eventually. It was hard moving my body because I felt paralyzed, but Vicky was there to pull me up and shake me hard.

'I'm awake! You can stop!'

She stopped and panted, sitting down next to me. She was wearing a ridiculously long night gown.

'What is the commotion about?' I asked sleepily.

'You were yelling and shouting in pain, that's what the commotion was about! I came to your bed and you were holding your neck like you were strangling yourself! What was I supposed to do? Let you get through with it?'

'Vicky, people don't die from self-strangling,' I mumbled drowsily, trying to get back to reality, 'they faint at one point from lack of air and then, because they're unconscious, they release their hands around their necks.'

Victoria wrinkled her nose and blushed in shame of not knowing that.

'Well, I wasn't going to wait for that to happen! Anyways, it seemed like you were in pain.'

'Ah...thanks, I didn't know you cared so much.'

'I don't...that much,' she mumbled incomprehensibly. 'What were you dreaming about anyway?'

'Um, spiders. I hate spiders,' I said, smiling briefly.

'Right, spiders...Well, now that you're awake I can go back to sleep. Although it's almost five so I should just get ready for school.'

I shook my head and smiled slightly.

It was the wrong thing to do.

'Why are you smiling? I haven't forgotten you sent Black away,' she retorted.

And there it was, my memory suddenly bolted back in my head.

I felt a strong jolt that almost made me fall back in bed.

Salazar Slytherin.

Two words that scared the crap out of me and now I remembered why.

I had screamed in pain for a reason; his vile snake was sucking out my blood.

I remembered with clarity the scenery, the horrific bed of roses that smelt like melted bodies, the empty grey sky moulded into darkness, his dishevelled and handsome appearance, almost like a daemon that carried off with human souls. He was the spitting image of Riddle, only with the aggravating manners of a beast.

He was the guardian of the river Stix. I was sure he had no soul to speak of. I don't know why I was sure, but I was.

It seemed beyond ridiculous that someone like him would suddenly wake up after hundreds of years just to talk to me, but there it was. And it was a very menacing 'there'. The fact that I was in contact with such a vile, despicable entity was almost unreal. Sometimes I thought I had dreamt it all; I had dreamt the fact that he was still alive and capable of entering my dreams. I had also dreamt the notion that I was in any way related to Rowena Ravenclaw. It all sounded like some graphic novel gone horribly wrong.

As the sudden fear, brought back by memory, engulfed me, I pulled my blanket to my neck and stared in horror at the opaque, green windows of the common room. He could be anywhere. He could find me anywhere. He was in my mind, the most dangerous place of all.

I could go running to Dumbledore, but then, I don't have much proof except those parchments (which proved useless) and my dream. Dumbledore promised he would look into it. Dumbledore promises many things.

And Dumbledore...Only Harry really believed in him that way.

I couldn't get myself to believe in that illusion.

What now?

I'm in another time and yet, strangely enough, that's not my biggest problem. Now, it would be half-impossible for me to leave. It seems that it doesn't matter the time period I'm in, because I have a much bigger case on my hands.

If I returned to the past and somehow triggered Salazar Slytherin's waking up, I would never forgive myself.

I needed to get into the Chamber of Secrets so I could get some Basilisk venom and destroy the parchments.

Of course, the only person who could get in the Chamber, was Riddle.

Hooray. My best friend in the world.

I was setting about destroying an evil wizard and instead of having Harry, Ron and the Order along with me, I had Tom Riddle.

But how could I convince Riddle to let me in the Chamber and get some venom?

That seemed out of the question. Not only because our last meeting had ended in a horrible fight, but also because I was Muggleborn and entering the Chamber of Secrets was like going to proclaim my love to a Dementor.

But was there any other way?

* * *

Charms class was my first class that morning. I was so fidgety and so anxious that people thought I was having a seizure. I couldn't keep calm. My heart was racing like crazy. Every moment I was expecting someone to jump from behind.

At this rate, I'd have to go to the Infirmary to get a Calming Draught.

Professor Flitwick was teaching a charm against disfigurement. It wasn't a good time for me to be hearing about disfigurement. Or broken bones, scars, bleeding tissues and any of those details.

'Now, of course, I can't show you how it works on a human being, but my pet rat Daisy will have to do today,' he said cheerfully.

I don't know if I mentioned, but Professor Flitwick was much...less meek, back in the day.

Of course some idiots in the back started snickering.

'We could always use the Mudblood,' I heard one of the jerks whisper. 'She won't mind.'

'Why doesn't the idiot who said that volunteer instead?' I said, loudly enough for those cretins to hear.

They only retorted with worse insults.

I rolled my eyes and looked straight ahead, ignoring the chuckling. But they continued to make stupid jokes about how I'd be the perfect experiment.

I turned and saw Nott and his stupid sidekicks grinning at me like a pair of monkeys. I knew why Nott looked pissed with me. He probably didn't appreciate the kick in the crotch. But he had deserved it.

'Don't push me or I'll do what I did to you again,' I told him, knowingly.

I saw Nott clench his fists as his smile turned into a grimace.

'What exactly did she do, Theo?' Avery asked curious.

'None of your damn business!' he whispered loudly. 'When I get a hold of you Mudblood, you're gonna be in worse shape than that rat.'

'I am getting tired of these empty threats!' I whispered back.

'Then hear this, Greystone. _We_ are also tired of your attitude and we are going to fix it soon,' a cool voice suddenly said.

I hadn't noticed him among the crowd, because he usually sat at a distance from them. His hair was slicked back and his eyes were calm and distant, holding an aura of quiet anger, an anger which was tinged with frustration. I felt a sudden rush of relief and gratefulness nonetheless, because he didn't have long, dishevelled hair and his eyes did not burn black. Also, he was not holding a black snake to my throat. He looked like the friendliest boy in the world compared to _that_ wizard.

I had to suddenly realize what he had said to acknowledge the fact that I wasn't in his good opinion and that he was in fact, telling me I was going to pay for what I had done.

He would let me taunt him and tell him off and even slap him, but what irked him more than anything (I suppose) was appearing even in the slightest bit, vulnerable. He didn't care for my insults or my lack of "respect" for him, but he cared about himself. And he wasn't going to weaken his resolve, just because he had let me off easily before.

I think he regretted his easy manners with me before, if it could be described as easy. I saw it in the curve of his mouth and in the annoyed way with which he scribbled on the parchment. He regretted not taking me seriously and not treating me like he did all "Mudbloods". But then again, he had treated me badly, just not bad enough.

I think he now regretted he hadn't been more of a leader.

I had forgotten that he was _their_ leader.

It hadn't been very hard to forget. It seemed like an eternity had passed between my first day of school and me entering Riddle's mind.

For a moment, when we had reluctantly and unwillingly shared thoughts, I had a feeling that he wasn't a terrible person. That happened when I saw that he had been obliged to kill Myrtle.

But then, he hadn't been obliged to kill or harm all those other people. So one seemingly unintentional bad deed did not erase the others.

The fact that he had been trapped by Salazar's machinations only showed that he was a reckless, power-hungry wizard. He had been gullible enough to believe that his ancestor would rather help him than regain power himself. Could Riddle have been actually naive?

In any case, Riddle knew Salazar was very much alive. He knew it wasn't just a chamber of horrors that kept his memory living. He must have known.

So then, why wasn't he trying to do anything about it? Why was he letting himself be led on?

It was true I had only that one proof, in Riddle's memories, that he knew of Salazar's presence, but it almost looked like he wasn't bothered by it at all.

I almost fancied, although it turned my stomach, that Riddle had been more upset about the fact that I had seen that particular memory, rather than anything else.

He might have willingly let me see some things (because they surely did not diminish his manipulative and sinister reputation) but some he hadn't been eager for me to see, because some things showed that he wasn't in control of everything around him.

Why did he need to be in control of everything? It must have been because he was so insecure everything would collapse on him. All that he had built inside and outside would be brought down by a surge of weakness, or maybe even a moment of exhaustion.

He didn't have time to think about himself as a sixteen-year old.

If Salazar had controlled him, he had to fool himself into thinking he had controlled Salazar.

'Keep it down there, Slytherins,' Flitwick suddenly quipped in our direction. 'Or else I will take House Points.'

I saw Daisy's bent and twisted spine straighten with a quiet and soft snap as the poor rat jumped up on the small, silver stool.

* * *

During lunch, I sat with my head buried in a new edition of the Daily Prophet, trying to find out any news about the muggle war. There were a couple of details here and there, some mentions of wizards fighting in the war, but nothing else. I saw David Potter anxiously skim the same paper across the hall. He had a haunted expression on his face.

He chanced to look up and I smiled feebly at him and waved my hand as if to say 'no bad news about your dad...yet'.

He didn't smile back, but he nodded towards me.

Suddenly, I felt a sting in the back of my head.

A couple of small pieces of something sticky had landed in my hair and I pulled them out annoyed. It was one of those Razor Jellies that could cut through skin. I dropped them on the table and saw that my fingers and palm were bleeding slightly.

Groaning in anger I turned and glared at the idiots eating some seats away.

Avery and Malfoy were throwing me innocent 'what is the matter?' looks, shrugging their shoulders.

Avery was holding his pumpkin juice glass and he raised it to me, his face screwing up in a ghastly smile.

'Dessert on the house for the Mudblood,' he said, pointing at the Razor Jelly.

I almost wanted to crash that glass in his face and watch him suffer a slow and painful death.

I wouldn't have minded if Malfoy got the same thing.

It would be very satisfying at the moment.

And then it happened.

The glass suddenly burst into smithereens and the shards flew up in the air. The liquid burst out like a waterfall, gushing towards them like a weapon.

It seemed as if the glass was breaking apart in slow motion. The glass was floating above their heads, waiting to bruise them hungrily. It was like they had a mind of their own and they were pointing their sharp edges at them.

Some of the pieces scratched Malfoy's neck and wrists making him jump out of the chair and fall backwards, but most of the shards fell on Avery's face and made him yelp in pain. He covered his face and cried in agony as he felt blood on his lips and eyes.

I watched him horrified. I almost trembled in shock.

I had never done that before. I had never wished for something to happen and then for it to magically take place.

I had never really wanted to harm someone in that way. But then I had.

I had felt a deep surge of hatred in me and then it had happened.

My eyes turned a grey colour as I grabbed the table to steady myself.

Behind them, Tom Riddle was watching the spectacle with intense interest. He seemed surprised.

His eyes fell on me, a clear question reflected in them.

But I just shook my head and covered my mouth with my palm.

Bridget and Lucille were gasping as they yelled to each other feverishly.

'My goodness! Who did that? Do you think it was Malfoy?'

'No, stupid, why would Malfoy hurt himself on purpose?'

'Then maybe it was the Gryffindor!'

'They're not that brave! And I didn't see any wand raised.'

'Did anyone see any wands?' they both asked in a chorus.

I wondered if someone had aimed the wand at them, but then I knew the kind of impact a spell would have had and this had not been a spell. It had been too powerful, too intense.

Who could make glass act according to their will?

* * *

The two boys weren't seen or heard of next class, in Potions. They had been sent to the Infirmary. And an inquiry had been made into the cause of the accident.

I kept my face straight as I tried my best to act normal.

'Ten points to Slytherin, well done Miss Greystone,' Professor Slughorn chipped carelessly as he tagged something on a piece of parchment. He didn't seem as cheerful as usual. 'Indeed, those are the ingredients of the Merkwin potion.'

We set our cauldrons to work. I kept looking back at the empty seats of the two Purebloods.

Next to me, Riddle was kneading some powder in a bowl carelessly.

He seemed to be thinking about something. But then he shook his head, getting back to his task.

I wanted to ask him about the incident, but I believed he wouldn't answer me.

I was currently having a really hard time crushing some beans on the table. I bruised myself twice.

After a while, he handed me the bowl and he went to check the liquid in the cauldron.

I continued the work, wondering if after classes I could go to the Infirmary to find out what was happening.

Perhaps I could get some answers from the nurse.

I saw Riddle from the corner of my eye inspecting the beans. He didn't seem pleased. I almost huffed internally. I wanted to see him do any better.

He got rid of half of them and put some in the cauldron.

'Hey, we don't have to put them yet, wait for the powder!' I told him sharply.

He shrugged his shoulders and told me he knew what he was doing and that my way was wrong.

I told him I had double-checked with the instructions and I was right, but he said if I had, I wouldn't be making idiotic mistakes, like putting the powder before the beans.

I put my hands on my waist and glared at him.

'I am not in the mood for your jokes, I know what I am doing.'

He took the bowl of powder from me – more like yanked it out – and I pulled it back annoyed.

Why was he acting like a child? Did he want me to kick him out of the way?

He grabbed it roughly from me and threw it on the floor.

My face turned slightly red as I bowed down to clean it up.

But all of a sudden, Riddle threw part of the hot liquid in the cauldron at my feet.

I yelped in pain and jumped up.

'You stupid idiot, what the hell?' I yelled enraged and livid.

My feet were burning like fire and I quickly muttered a cooling spell on them, cursing under my breath.

'Goddammit, are you trying to kill me?' I yelled again.

All of a sudden, the liquid that had landed on the floor started shimmering and right before my eyes, a soft, small red flame erupted from it.

The liquid was on fire.

It glowed ethereally in the darkness of the dungeons and its orange tongue flickered shyly in the air.

I stared at it in awe.

'What in the world - ? Miss Greystone, Mr. Riddle, what is the meaning of this?' Slughorn yelped, putting out the fire. 'Are you trying to get yourselves and everyone else killed?'

'Twenty points from Slytherin, I'm afraid!' he added, panting, as he wiped his brow.

Riddle stared at me with a small smile of satisfaction on his face. His arms were crossed over his chest and he looked content, as if he had proven something.

It almost seemed that I had been the cause of that fire.

* * *

That evening, we held another Prefect meeting with the Head Boy and Head Girl. The room was crowded and warm. Everyone was chatting freely, completely ignoring the Head Girl who was trying to make some insignificant announcements. She gave up after a while.

Dorcas greeted me warmly and pulled me by his side.

'Jane, it's good to see you again so soon! Long time no chat.'

'Um, hi Dorcas. I have been very busy with school.'

'Studying hard, eh? I know you're one of the best in the year. You don't have to try too hard.'

'Oh, trust me, I do,' I said sighing.

'Did you see what happened to Avery and Malfoy? Incredible, eh?'

'Um, I heard. Actually, I was there. It was scary,' I mumbled staring down.

'I can't believe something like that happened to them! I mean, who would actually have the guts to do that? Do you suspect anyone?'

'I was going to go to the Infirmary to find out, actually,' I admitted, looking at him warily.

'Well, Professor Slughorn is very upset! He confided in me that he would be very hard on whoever did this. The parents of those dimwits are apparently furious! But we all have a wild guess who could have been the one to injure a Malfoy and an Avery. I suppose you do too, Jane. You and I both can't stand him,' he said, nudging me in the ribs knowingly.

He was staring at Riddle across the room, who was talking to the Head Girl.

'Oh, you think it was him? Well, it might have been him, although Avery and Malfoy are presumably his friends,' I said hastily.

'Friends? Ha! He has no friends, the git,' Dorcas whispered. 'He only has minions, most likely.'

'But why would he do that?' I asked.

'Well, he's a sick fellow. He wants to twist everybody to his pleasure. You and I both know Jane, you have a very hard time patrolling with him,' he said conspiratorially.

'I won't lie about that,' I confessed. 'It's not easy at all doing that with him.'

'Don't worry, Jane. I think I could maybe get you out of it. I am the Head Boy after all. Maybe I can pair you with someone else. I admit I am not on warm terms with the Head Girl and we could patrol together...'

'Before you wander off on that stupid fantasy, Dorcas, Greystone and I have to go do some actual work,' a clipped voice said behind him.

We both jumped when we saw Riddle standing some feet away.

'Ah, Riddle, I didn't see you there. Jane and I were just having a friendly chat, something I am sure you are a stranger to.'

'Friendly chat?' Riddle asked raising a brow. 'I only heard you desperately throw yourself at her.'

'Jane likes me very well without me throwing myself at her,' Dorcas retorted, getting very red.

'Is that so?' Riddle asked amused.

Dorcas nodded and looked at me, searching for confirmation but I quickly slipped away and pulled Riddle with me, mumbling something about having seen some strange commotion on the Third Floor which needed checking.

I walked briskly away from him and told him we'd better go to the Third Floor.

When we arrived there, he pulled me in a small crevice behind a statue and glued me to the wall.

'I will ask this only once expecting to hear the truth, Greystone. Do you have Salazar Slytherin's parchments?'

I gaped at him, my eyes wide.

'Are you talking to him?' he asked again, gripping my hand like a vice.

I stared back at him and shook my head.

He slammed me in the wall again.

'Tell me the truth! I saw it in your mind!' he said angrily.

I opened my mouth in shock.

He had seen those memories in my mind.

Crap.

'N-no, I don't know what you saw,' I said pushing him away with a Defence Shield.

'I saw it very well. I also saw it today when you smashed that glass and turned that liquid into fire. Don't lie to me!'

I was getting more and more confused.

I couldn't have done that.

'I know those spells. I know that kind of magic work. It's Dark Arts. And it's him.'

'You threw that liquid on purpose?'

'Of course I did. Your anger got the best of you. And I saw right through you. Right down to him.'

'That's not true,' I yelped, 'I didn't do any of those things. Most likely you did them yourself. Expeliarmus!'

But he was too quick. At the same time he cast 'Imperio!'

I almost fell down on my knees.

His soft and cold hand landed on my hair. He pulled me up slightly, until my face touched his chin.

'You tell me the truth right now.'

'T-There is nothing to tell.'

'Veritas!' he muttered.

The spell hit me in the chest with the force of speed-light.

'What is your connection to Salazar Slytherin?' he asked, in a dead-pan voice.

'He has written to me. I have written back,' I replied, before I could stop myself. I felt the words gush out of my throat.

'And? Is there something else?'

'Y-yes. I dreamt of him. He was you. He...there was a black snake,' I mumbled.

I grabbed my wand tightly and muttered a spell quickly. I felt a powerful flow between my hands.

Riddle almost flew into the other wall, knocking down the statue.

He pulled himself up quickly and shot another spell my way but I deflected it.

'Black snake. Shit!' he muttered, looking down. 'Goddammit, what did you get yourself into, you idiot?'

'What _I_ got myself into? If you dare cast Imperio on me again, you will find out I don't shy away from using Unforgivables either!' I yelled back.

'You imbecile! Did you let him take your blood?'

I stared at him, wide-eyed.

'Did you let him or not?'

'I...there was nothing I could do.'

'Fuck. Greystone do you have any idea...' he muttered darkly.

'What are you telling me? He did that to you as well?'

He huffed and panted as he rested his head against the wall.

'How do you think I found the Chamber of Secrets?'

'What? What are you talking about?'

'He...he opened it when he found me.'

'When he found you?'

'Yes. He had been looking for the heir.'

'What happened?'

'What happened? What would happen if you met one of the most powerful wizards of the world?'

I waited in silence for him to continue.

'At first I thought this was my opportunity for greater power. I wanted to be as strong as he was, even stronger. And he did offer me great knowledge of the Dark Arts. Slightly similar to what you performed today, but much greater...'

'But he wanted to take over me,' he continued in a blank voice. 'He wanted to take over my body to use it for himself. I couldn't allow that. I needed to lock the Chamber up. Lock him up.'

'So...you killed Myrtle,' I whispered.

'He would have killed me instead,' he snapped. 'I offered him a sacrifice in order to save myself.'

'A sacrifice that probably did not suffice,' I continued.

'Of course not. But I guarded my mind against him. A year passed. And I thought it couldn't be that bad again, that I had grown stronger. That I could take him on.'

'But you were wrong...' I muttered.

Something dawned on me suddenly.

'You were going to go to Grindelwald to ask for help. You were going to join him to gain more power against him,' I said.

He stared at me surprised.

'All that talk at Christmas about how hard it was to be you. It's not about being a Half-Blood, it's about being the heir!' I snapped angrily. 'How could you let this go on without telling anyone?'

'I can handle it, Greystone. I've handled it all this time.'

'Obviously, you can't and you didn't. Now, it is plaguing me!'

'There should be no reason for him plaguing you. I don't know how he managed to get to you or why. You're just a Mudblood.'

'There is a reason for all this happening and most likely than not, it's your fault.'

'My fault? You found those blasted parchments Greystone. I saw it in your mind.'

'How could I have known that it locked the memory of _him_?' I snapped back.

'Why did _you_ find them? It makes absolutely no sense. I got rid of them after I closed the Chamber. I made sure they didn't exist anymore.'

'Obviously, whatever you did wasn't strong enough, because they appeared to be safe and sound in the Restricted Section.'

'But it's absurd! How could you have found them? Unless...' he trailed off, suddenly remembering something.

He stared at my neck with great interest.

'The scar!' I yelped covering my skin. 'The scar brought the parchments to me?'

'I can't know,' he said emptily, putting down his wand, but keeping his body tense. 'I can't know...'

I lunged myself at him and beat my fists into his chest.

'You got me into this! You and your stupid pride and your stupid spells! You're a real bastard, you know that?'

'I don't know if it was the scar, but I certainly had nothing to do with him taking your blood,' he replied, indifferent to my sudden attack.

'Why would he take _my _blood then?'

'I can't think of an answer to that.'

'If he had you very close, why would he do it to me? Think, Riddle!'

His eyes roamed over my face in incredulity as he gripped his wand tighter.

I saw the blue vein pulsing on his forehead.

'It can't be,' he said quietly, at length. 'It can't.'

'You can't be an heir,' he continued, his knuckles going whiter and whiter.

'He said I was the Ravenclaw heir.'

Saying that out loud felt like a punishment, like a harmful insult.

'He couldn't have said that.'

'But he did. He called me Rowena, for Heaven's Sake! What was I supposed to make out of that?'

'I don't believe it!'

'I can hardly believe it myself. But it would make sense for him to find me and take my blood, wouldn't it?'

'Even if such a thing were true, what would he want with the Ravenclaw heir?' he asked impatiently.

'You're asking me? You've known him for over a year. You should know better than me.'

He ran a hand over his face. I almost heard him sigh.

'Why did you have to show up and make everything a bloody mess? Why didn't I silence you when I had the chance?'

'Oh, that's very mature,' I said rolling my eyes.

'You can't be the heir. You're a nobody. A thankless, unworthy Mudblood. You can't be my equal.'

'I'll never wish to consider myself on the same level with you. I saw into your mind. Maybe Salazar made you kill Myrtle, but what about the others? I don't think he made you do that as well. It was all you. It was your work. And you relished in it. You enjoyed playing with people's lives. It gave you a sense of freedom, a sense of absolute freedom. You felt you could have anyone's life, but they could never have yours. Well, this is your punishment.'

'And what about you Greystone?' he yelled back. 'Who are you to judge me? I saw into your mind as well. You are a despicable liar. I saw a whole different life in your mind. You don't belong at Hogwarts. And most likely you aren't even who you say you are!'

My face went white as my throat closed over my voice.

'Deny it if you can. You say I manipulate and play with lives, but what are you doing? You think you're doing any different? You came here for a reason. That is why nobody knows anything about you. You have no family, no acquaintances, no home. You came here on Dumbledore's mercy. And you dare judge me. At least I have the courage to show myself as I am.'

'You never show yourself as you are,' I spoke.

'You never see it. But I never falter. I am always myself. And to you, I might be a hardened criminal, but to myself, I am a survivor and a powerful wizard. And I intend to become powerful enough so that no idiot like yourself or any of those mindless people you saw in my mind can ever tread on me again.'

I tried to say something but my mind was blocked. His meaning in life was pointless, it was ghastly, it was tragic, it was empty, it was horrid.

All I could do was look at him and nod my head. Maybe because I understood, maybe because I hated that I understood. But no, I liked it better when I didn't understand.

After a long silence in which we both stared at each other with something akin to resentment, I finally opened my mouth.

'There's something we both want, and that is freedom. We want to be free of him.'

For a moment, something flickered across his face, but it was gone in the next, when he said:

'You think you can free yourself of him easily?'

'Then help me. I think I might know how to get rid of his memory. I have the parchments. I need to get into the Chamber of Secrets.'

He stared at me perplexed. He hadn't expected that.

'Are you daft? Go into the Chamber? If I open it, I will become twice as vulnerable.'

'You're already becoming vulnerable and you'll become more vulnerable if we don't try it.'

'Try what exactly?'

'In the chamber, there's a monster, isn't it? I know about it. It's the Basilisk.'

He looked away annoyed. 'You saw that in my mind as well?'

'Yes,' I lied quickly, relieved to find such a good pretext. He thought no one could possibly know but for him.

'What about the Basilisk?'

'Basilisk venom. I believe it can destroy the parchments...and his memory.'

'The venom?'

'Yes. It's not just a coincidence that a Basilisk of all creatures resides in the Chamber.'

'How do you know that will put an end to him completely?'

'You have to trust me. I've read about Basilisks. Their venom is the most lethal in the world. I think it can destroy them. If this can't, nothing will.'

'The most lethal in the world...' he repeated, thinking.

'It's worth a shot,' I added. 'We've got nothing to lose, except what we're losing already.'

'Greystone, this idea of yours is completely mad and ridiculous. It might also be useless,' he replied.

'If you have a better idea, I'd love to hear it.'

'I can hold my own against him.'

'Well, I can't. Or if I could, it wouldn't be enough. And you know it isn't enough. Those parchments appeared for a reason. We need to destroy them. We can't let them in one piece. They're a great danger.'

'I thought they were gone,' he said in a hollow voice.

'Obviously they weren't. The only thing strong enough to finish them might be this venom.'

He was still very sceptical of the idea, but he seemed to be considering it.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. My head hurt a little from our small fight. I am sure I had bruised him too, I had thrown him into a wall after all.

'Are you hurt?' he asked roughly.

'No,' I replied resentfully. 'But I hope you are.'

We both made to get out of that small opening in the wall, but when we got out on the corridor, we saw a figure running towards us.

It was a girl. I recognized her to be Dorcas' sister. She was panting heavily and could barely bring herself to say anything.

'Come quick! There's an emergency!' she managed to say.

'What happened?' I asked, alarmed.

'We just found out. Black has escaped from Saint Mungo!'


	18. You want me gone

**Well, it's officially been FAR too long since I last updated and I am VERY ashamed about that. I have no real excuses, unless you count laziness, writer's block and college anxiety. But still, I should be more committed to the story, I know and I am very sorry for this late update. I will try to update faster and I hope I can keep my promise this time. For now, I hope this tiny chapter will make up for my indolence :)**

**Thousands of kisses and thanks to the most awesome reviewers ever! You guys kick ass! Thanks so much for all your support and helpful ideas! 267 reviews is nothing to scoff at and certainly more than this badly written story deserves, so thank you!**

**As always, I'm not very pleased with this chapter, but it will have to do for now, until we get to some EPIC things :D I do like one part of the chappie in particular. I'll let you guess which. :)**

_Something's inside me_  
_ Unborn and unblessed_  
_ Disappears in the ether_  
_ This world to the next_  
_ Disappears in the ether_  
_ One world to the next_

P.J. Harvey - When Under Ether

Chapter 18: You want me gone

'What do you mean he escaped?' a furious Tom Riddle yelled, yanking the girl's arm.

I had seen him angry before, but never like this. His eyes had grown so dark that there was not a shade of blue in them anymore.

As for me, I was in too much shock to react to the news.

'I know as little as you do!' Mariella Dorcas shrieked, pulling her arm away. 'My brother just told me about it!'

'How is it possible that he escaped? Has a search party been formed? Has anything been done?' Riddle asked.

The girl whimpered something like an apology and shook her head.

'Answer me already!'

'I don't know! I was just sent to call you! Professor Slughorn needs to speak with you immediately!'

'We must go right away,' I intervened, putting my hand over his arm. He flinched away and pushed the girl aside.

I struggled to keep up with him as he paced the corridors furiously.

'That idiot man,' Riddle muttered angrily. 'He couldn't wait to send Black away.'

'It was not his fault,' I countered.

'That's right Greystone, it was yours,' he said turning towards me.

'My fault? How was that my fault?'

'You couldn't keep your mouth shut about what you saw. You just had to draw the conclusion you saw fit, regardless of the truth.'

'Then tell me the truth before you conveniently put the blame on me!' I yelled.

'It is useless now. I can't do anything for him now. He is lost, God knows where.'

'It's not your job to do anything for him. He needs real help!'

'No, he needed _my_ help. That is until you decided Hogwarts was your personal property and got rid of him.'

'Wow, wow, wow. Now you're just being stupid. With or without my intervention you know he would've been sent away! You know that! But if it hadn't been for me, he might've been sent somewhere else. Had we not found out he was ill, he might have been sent to prison. And I don't know if that would've been preferable to a hospital!'

At this Riddle seemed to back down. He realized I was at least partially right and that, despite his anger, I was not the cause of Black's escape and that it was useless to pick a fight with me.

Still, I was just as shocked and upset as he was and I felt like letting him know that.

'Do you not think that I am upset about this? I don't want to know Black is somewhere alone, trying to fight his disease.'

'His disease? You have no idea what you're talking about,' Riddle muttered.

'Then tell me, tell me what it is you're hiding from me! You've been doing that since we met!'

'I have just told you one of my biggest secrets. I poured it out to you even if I knew it was stupid. I told you about Salazar, I told you about my weakness and you – you still have the fucking nerve to ask me for more? While _you _haven't told me anything? But you know what? I don't even want to know, so don't bother. I'll never get a speck of truth from you,' he retorted.

The remnants of our previous fight that had ended not two minutes ago were resurfacing.

And he was painfully right. He had told me the truth, for once. I liked to think he had been obliged by circumstances, but looking back, he had made an effort to come clean. Why was I pushing him? I knew I couldn't tell him anything on my part. I knew I couldn't do the same.

'I'll tell you if you tell me,' I said, at length. This one truth did not make up for the thousand lies. I couldn't back down now.

'Like hell you will. Look, I don't care right now. I just want to get to the bottom of this.'

He stopped behind a statue and pushed one of the blocks away. The narrow secret passage opened. We stepped in.

'And I don't?'

'No, you don't. All you want to do is to get rid of the guilt. Make sure your conscience is clean. Nothing else,' he muttered.

'It's not about that, you idiot. I care about Black! I don't want him in danger because of -...' I trailed off, realising what I was about to say.

'Go on. Say it. Because of you,' Riddle said, victoriously.

He walked up to me until he was inches away.

'When you kissed me that time in the library, you told me "It's always you". Well, I wouldn't want to let you down. So I'm telling you the same. It's always you. You always need to be a part of things, you always need to be in the middle. That is why you claim you are the heir of Ravenclaw –'

'How can you say that? I'm not the one who claims that!' I yelled in frustration. 'I told you, Salazar claimed it, not me! And the proof is in my blood which he needs! I don't want to be the heir, I don't want to be a part of this! But if I'm dragged into it anyway it must mean _something_. It can't all be coincidences. Why are you accusing me likt this? I thought you believed me.'

'How can I believe you? Every word you say is a lie, Mudblood.'

'Oh, typical. You have nothing better to say, so you throw that crap at me. God, you are _such_ a coward!'

'And you are a little attention whore,' he retorted.

My mouth opened in shock. I had no words to describe my anger. I had not believed he could say that to me. He was the lowest kind of man.

I slapped him. Twice. Hard over his cheek.

He threw a spell at me and my legs buckled and I fell to the floor, injuring my knees in the process.

I threw a jinx at him but he countered it. I threw another spell and a jinx at the same time, but he deflected that as well.

I yelled a curse, getting up and while he was trying to shield it, I kicked him hard in the stomach and stabbed his feet with my heels.

He let out a small shriek and almost fell against the wall.

We were once again going at each other's throats. It seemed the fight was not over and never would be.

I made my hand into a fist and punched him in the shoulder, but he blocked it and punched me in the ribs.

I jinxed his arms so that they twisted over his back and made him crack a couple of bones.

To my amazement, he straightened them out without a sound of pain. He gripped my arms and threw my face against the wall.

'You will stop,' I told him, breathing erratically. 'Some day, you will stop and you will realize you have nothing to live for. You don't deserve to be alive.'

'Whatever I do, _we _can _never_ stop,' he said in my ear. 'We are destined to fight each other until one of us is destroyed. And I _won't_ fall down. You will.'

'I will drag you with me if I have to,' I spat. I managed to grip my wand and mumble and inaudible spell that pushed him away.

He countered it and pulled my leg until I fell on the floor again. I turned and kicked him in the shin.

We were fighting like animals. Irrational and mad.

The space was narrow. It didn't allow us to move freely, but it allowed us to go at each other without being heard or seen.

I felt relieved; I was pouring out my anger. I needed more. I needed to hurt him more just to empty myself.

He grabbed my hair and I grabbed his tie and we both pushed our heads into the opposing walls.

After a while, we were both breathing hard as we stared at each other across the small corridor.

'Why do we enjoy this?' he asked, running a hand through his hair again.

'Didn't you answer that yourself? We know the prize that awaits us at the end; watching the other one fall down.'

'We should go see Slughorn,' he said, arranging his tie.

'I couldn't agree more,' I muttered, walking away.

* * *

That Professor Slughorn was concerned was an understatement. Frightened would be the right adjective to describe his countenance. Not to mention, he was pacing his office in a desperate manner, as if he had just realized that he was powerless against the greater forces of magic.

He looked miserable. It made him look even more ridiculous. No one would believe at that point that he was the Slytherin Head of House.

His ashen expression was similar to that of a mouse. I almost thought he would start crying.

But no, he wasn't as weak as he looked. He straightened himself up and tried acting in a dignified manner.

'Those guards are useless; how could he have gone past them?' Riddle asked impatiently.

'Dementors can be cheated when they sense a dark force at hand.'

'Dementors?' I yelped surprised.

_Those_ were the Saint Mungo guards? How was that possible? I knew they only guarded Azkaban.

'Yes, dear, have you never heard of them?' Professor Slughorn asked.

'I have but...I had no idea they guarded Saint Mungo.'

'Yes well, I'm afraid they're a necessary evil,' he explained, waving his hands in a derogatory way. 'I do not approve either,' he continued. 'Not only because they are truly horrid, but because they are not even truly effective. As you can see, Mr. Black escaped without their being able to do something about it.'

'You said they sensed a dark force,' Riddle intervened. 'How do you know that?'

'Dementors would never let go of their victim, unless he or she were possessed by some dark forces. A Dementor will always try and absorb another person's soul, unless that person's soul is under someone else's command. Therefore, you see... otherwise, he couldn't have escaped.'

'Was there any proof that he was under someone else's command?' I asked meekly.

'Well, the nurses told his parents that he had started saying strange things. He said that _he_ was coming for him, that _he_ was close.'

'He?' I echoed hollowly.

'Yes, he always mentioned this man that would come for him. He said that... he said that only then he would be cured,' Slughorn said, holding his breath.

My eyes widened. Riddle and I shared a meaningful look.

He suspected it too. My heart grew smaller.

'As you can imagine, I am just as mystified as anyone else. Merlin knows, I don't know who Mr. Black might have referred to but his parents... well, that is the reason I have called you here. I wanted to let my Prefects know, but I also needed you. Lord and Lady Black wish to speak to you, privately.'

'Why do they want that?' Riddle asked, raising a brow.

'Well, Tom, you were his closest friend and...'

'Do not speak about him as if he were dead, Sir,' Riddle said curtly.

'Oh, goodness, no! I did not mean it like that, but you must certainly talk to them. Anything you know, any detail could give them a clue, could help them find him.'

'And the Aurors?'

'They have begun a search. But we really need your help as well, Tom.'

'Fine then. I will talk to them,' he resolved.

'Oh, and Miss Greystone too. They mentioned wanting to talk to her as well.'

Riddle stared at me confused. I stared back, equally disconcerted.

'Why would they want that? They do not even know her.'

'Well, I...' Slughorn began, flinching involuntarily, 'you see, Mr. Black mentioned her apparently, when he was in the hospital.'

'What?' I asked, amazed.

'Yes, I did not know what to think about it. At first, I thought it was just the ramblings of a delusional young man. He said...well, he said... 'Give _him _Greystone. Give her to _him_'. I...you understand I couldn't take that seriously.'

Riddle glanced at me warily. Concern was etched on his face. His knuckles turned white as he gripped his wand in his hand. His face showed concentration. He was thinking about something. He shook his head, twice.

He looked at me and shook his head.

'My dear, don't be frightened. We will get at the bottom of this. The young man was in a weak state of mind,' Slughorn said, trying to calm me down. It wasn't working.

'I don't want to see them,' I said hoarsely. 'I don't want to see the Blacks.'

'But my dear, they insisted...'

'No, please, I _can't_ see them. Not now,' I mumbled.

'You have to. You can't run away from this,' Riddle suddenly said. 'Neither can I.'

'You see, Miss Greystone? Tom will be there for you, you won't be alone with them,' Slughorn said, patting my shoulder.

'I don't have him. I have no one,' I said quietly, making sure only Riddle heard me.

Slughorn made us some tea, but I refused it. He told us the Blacks would come tomorrow to the castle.

* * *

Later that night, I was preparing myself to go in the Forbidden Forest and get the parchments back. It was no use hiding them there. I had to keep them by my side so I could discard them easier.

I felt uneasy that someone else would discover them and God knew what new havoc would be wreaked.

I just felt that if I had them with me, I could destroy them. It would be a possibility.

I couldn't run from them. I had to face them. But not because Riddle had said that. Because I had known that for some time.

I snuck out of the girls' dormitory into the Common Room. It was empty, save for one person who was sitting on the couch.

'Good. You're awake,' Riddle said, getting up. 'I knew you'd come down eventually.'

'What are you doing here?' I asked.

'I'm going to help you get into the Chamber, obviously. You cannot do it without me.'

I blinked in surprise.

'I thought you were sceptical about that idea.'

'I can't afford scepticism under the current circumstances. I am willing to try anything. Even your idea.'

I crossed my arms.

'Even if it might prove to be a useless idea, I have to do something,' he added.

'I know. I have to do something as well,' I mumbled. 'I need to get the parchments from the Forbidden Forest.'

'Let's go then,' Riddle said, his expression blank.

It was hard getting out of the castle this time, what with all the recent bad news, but Riddle knew a secret passage through the kitchens and I trusted him not to put us in danger, at least for one night. Like I said, I would drag him down with me if he tried anything. But his head was on the line too. He knew that. And he had agreed to help me.

When we were finally out of the castle, I discovered we had got to the South end, far away from the Forbidden Forest.

It was a cold, silent walk to Hagrid's Hut.

'Did you...ever feel...' I began, trying to find my words.

'Yes?'

'Well, did you...ever feel remorse for those women?'

'Those women?'

'Those women you used.'

'What would you like me to say? If I answered no, you would deem me a monster,' he replied.

'You are a monster.'

'If I answered yes,' he continued. 'You would deem me a liar.'

'So...which is it?'

He sighed. 'Why must you complicate things? Why must you make them more than they seem?'

'I don't understand.'

'I treasured every one of them, in my own way,' he replied. 'But I didn't feel remorse. I felt...admiration.'

'You felt...admiration?' I asked bewildered.

The cold night air was keeping me awake. Otherwise, I would've thought I was dreaming.

The snow crunched beneath our feet. I felt the cold under my boots. He walked through the snow as if it was air.

'Yes. Not the answer you wanted to hear, I suppose. You would've wanted me to say I loathed them all. And I did, for the most part. But then, one can't help but admire a woman. Especially a woman who is in love. She will do everything for the one she loves. Her powers astound me. When she believes in something, she follows it through, to the end, to her death even. Her love is stronger than anything. I despise its strength, because I don't have it. I envy it. I wish I could use the strength of love. But I cannot.'

I remained silent. My head felt dizzy. I was trying to put together what he had said.

'And that is why...I admired them.'

'So...they loved you? They really loved you?'

'Some of them loved me. Some loved others. With or without my compulsion, they were all in love with _something_.'

'That's what you think? That a woman is always in love with something?'

'It's the source of her power, isn't it?' he asked impassively. He spoke of it as if it was an algebra problem.

'I am not in love with anything,' I countered.

'Are you not in love with him?' he asked.

'Who?'

'The redhead boy in your mind. The one you call Ron.'

I felt my cheeks suddenly turn red. My body warmed up. I felt a nauseating feeling in my throat.

I tasted the name on my lips. I struggled to keep it there.

Ron. The name, the sound, the face...

But then blank. Nothing.

Absolute whiteness.

Clear ignorance.

My body felt cold again. My cheeks turned white.

'Ron, I...I don't know. I can't remember him,' I whispered. My throat was getting dry. 'I know I had some feelings for him. But I can't...'

'The price you paid for entering my mind,' he said, nodding his head. 'So, you forgot about the one man you loved. Isn't that an ironic coincidence? Of all the people to forget...'

'Yes, you took him away,' I said emptily.

'Now, I have no one,' I repeated.

Riddle stopped in his tracks.

'Love in a man is weakness. But in a woman I see that it is not. It puzzles me exceedingly. I cannot make sense of it. You will soon forget this Ron. You will grow detached. Your strings will be cut off. But then – you'll find something new to love. It won't matter. Past loves, future loves...'

I squeezed my eyes shut.

'Right now, I'd love it for you to disappear. I'd love it if I had never met you. If somehow...'

He laughed. It resembled a loud bark.

'So what you would love would be my death.'

'Is that so very wrong?' I asked, hugging myself.

'You want me gone. It's understandable. I want you out of my life as well. Sometimes...' he trailed off.

He touched my shoulder briefly, putting my scarf in place. It had fallen over my back.

'Sometimes, I would like to end your life.'

'Sometimes, I would like to see the air in your breath go out,' he added. 'Sometimes, I'd like to see you lifeless.'

'Sometimes, I want you dead as well,' I replied.

'Why do we crave for that?' he asked.

'Because there's no room for the two of us,' I said, feeling uncomfortable.

'Because, I hate you and because you are a danger to me and to everyone around you. You bring me only pain and unhappiness.'

He kept quiet for a long while, eyeing me curiously.

'And you...?' I asked.

'I...I want to end your life, because I don't have control over it. And I can't keep you under my grip. I can't have your life. I can't make you submit. And I feel I need to kill all of those that don't want to surrender their lives to me.'

'You'll never have me,' I said, feeling warm again.

'I don't want you. I want your life. I want your submission. That is all.'

'That is indeed... all,' I concluded, walking away. He followed behind.

I managed to find the place where I had buried the parchments. I felt they led me to it themselves. I knew they could.

I took them in my hands with fear and awe. But Riddle shoved them quickly in his robes.

'Right, how do we get into the Chamber?'

'We open it. And we unleash the monster within,' he answered. I could see the sheer dread in his eyes. It wasn't just fear. It was death itself. It was as if death had engulfed him. He probably felt hopeless, like there was no way out. In many respects, I shared the feeling. But I knew he could lose his sanity. I liked to think mine would still be intact, for a while.

When we reached the Second Floor bathroom, he stopped and breathed in deeply before going inside.

'Are you ready?' I asked him.

'No.'

'Well, that was honest.'

'As honest as I'll ever be.'

I nodded and kept quiet. Eventually, I stepped in. But he remained outside.

A strange impulse made me raise my hand. I tried to fight it, but my hand seemed to have a mind of its own.

I extended my hand, unwillingly.

In a moment, he took it. He gripped it hard. And then he stepped in as well.

I had helped him walk over the border.

I quickly let go.

He walked over to the sink and looked into the mirror.

'I don't want to do this,' he muttered.

'I know. I don't want it either.'

'Once I open it, it will be... Well, I might not be able to seal it again. Unless I kill a Mudblood. Maybe you'll be the sacrifice. But even that might not be enough.'

'Shut up, Riddle. Shut up and open it before I change my mind and run out of here. I am right behind you.'

He looked back at me.

'Right behind me?'

'Yes. I am coming with you.'

'No, you aren't,' he retorted annoyed. 'It would be a useless move. You would only stand in my way down there.'

'But...'

'The monster isn't always responsive to me. So don't even try to convince me. Unless you want to get yourself killed. In that case, be my guest.'

'Will you be able to destroy them?'

'God, Greystone I'm not an imbecile. I will find a way to get the venom out of it. I will get it done, somehow. I won't come out defeated.'

'Fine. I will stay here. Waiting,' I said, at last.

'Good. Don't move. Just stay here and make sure no one comes in. If I find you came down too, I will personally twist that pretty neck of yours. Understood?'

I turned away.

'Make sure you come back.'

'I always do,' he answered and turned to the mirror again.

_He-sha-ya..._ he began.

* * *

_Reviews are love!_


	19. The Girl, The Basilisk and The Diadem

**And time for another quick update! I know these are few and far between so enjoy them while they last! Joking aside though, I do tend to be a lazy updater, so whenever I get the chance to update quicker, I feel like I'm suddenly thrown into another dimention, like I'm writing a different story, like I'm starting over. Then ideas seem to come faster and everything seems more epic. And then I get my hopes up and pretend I can update like this for ever. And then...after five days, I just quit and jump into bed with my cookies and my book. Eh, writers need to be hedonists.**

**But enough about that. Big hugs and thanks to the reviewers! Loads of kisses for the anonymous reviewers who never disappoint:D Thanks everyone!**

**I love reviews so go crazy, splurge on them, I don't mind :))**

**P.S. This chapter is all about the action. and BIG discoveries!**

_I'm not the one who's so far away_  
_ when I feel the snake bite into my veins._  
_ Never did I wanna be here again, _  
_ and I don't remember why I came._

Godsmack - Voodoo

* * *

Chapter 19: The Girl, the Basilisk and the Diadem 

The sink units sank into the floor and a dark and dreary hole appeared in front of our eyes. Harry had told me stories about it, but never did I imagine it quite like this. It looked like the vile mouth of a monster. A horrid, bloodcurdling smell reached my nostrils. It smelt like corpses.

I drew back instinctively.

Riddle looked down into the pit. His calm expression faltered. He had a nervous twitch at his mouth.

'The basilisk has shed three more skins, it is growing impatient,' he said.

I stepped closer, until I was next to him and looked down as well.

'This is my inheritance; I'm the emperor of an underworld,' he said.

'It's not your inheritance. You just chose to make it yours.'

Riddle shrugged his shoulders in irritation. 'When you have a desperate craving inside, it's no longer a choice.'

His eyes grew dark and angry.

'Riddle. Don't let yourself be controlled by it.'

'By what?' he asked, staring at the hole in front of him mesmerised.

'By that craving.'

'Why not? What difference does it make whether I give into the craving or not?'

'It makes all the difference. If you give into it, you become weak. You become dependent of it. It's like you said with love. It's another form of co-dependency.'

'Yes, because in that case, love _would_ make me weaker. But a craving like mine, an impulse so strong, fulfilled, can you imagine? It will make me more powerful than I could ever be.'

'No, it will only give you the illusion of ultimate power,' I countered.

'Even if it's just an illusion, it will make me confident enough to fight anything,' he said.

'Not everything; you can't fight everything. When you think you're undefeatable, that's when you overlook many things, that's when you are most vulnerable.'

'I never overlook things.'

'You might some day. One day, you may come to overlook something crucial that will kill you. It can be a small, insignificant thing, or it can come from a fragile, insignificant creature, like a child...'

'A child? What do you mean? That a child could defeat me? Now you are just saying that for argument's sake.'

'You don't believe me that a mere child could defeat you?' I asked, feeling a pang at heart.

Harry's green eyes appeared right before me like two shining orbs. I sighed. I shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't have brought it up. It was stupid of me. I wouldn't have to prove anything. In the future, he would feel it on his own skin.

And Harry's parents would be killed. His mother would die saving him and that ancient spell would protect Harry from Voldemort. The little boy would live on, but his life would never be the same again. He would have no family, no love, no comfort. He'd have to live with the burden of being alone.

He'd have to face grave dangers just to stay alive. He'd have to get used to death.

All because of this one boy, standing next to me, at the edge of a dark recess. If I pushed him in and if I knew there was nothing down there, he would fall and die. He would lie there, a still body, sucked out of blood and life. And he wouldn't mean anything anymore to anyone. No one would miss him, no one would care.

If Voldemort died right now, he'd just be a heap of bones. And all his ideas and visions and aspirations, they'd fall into dust, just like him.

'I don't know how he could. He wouldn't even have the notion of fighting me. Children don't know hate,' he answered simply.

'But you did, as a child,' I bit back.

'No, I didn't. I just thought hate was love,' Riddle said, smiling to himself.

I frowned. This was not the answer I was expecting. Voldemort was so easy to think of as dead. He was nothing to feel guilty about. He deserved his end. But how could I think the same of Tom Riddle? How could I just as easily imagine this unstable teenager dead? This young man that didn't have any clue?

If I pushed him over the edge and if he happened to look back at me, I wouldn't see a pair of hateful, red eyes. I would see sadness and confusion. I would see someone who wouldn't understand why he is not allowed to live. Because he's a young man and young men never think they deserve to die, even if they do.

'But enough with these trite, philosophical conversations,' he suddenly said. 'I have some work to do.'

With that, he knelt and lowered himself into the pit.

'Stay where you are,' he repeated.

He fell down on a heap of skins.

I heard his faint footsteps moving away from the entrance. Soon, I heard him speak in Parseltongue again.

And then, nothing else. The bathroom fell into complete silence.

I sighed and sat down on the bench next to the wall, waiting.

It was eleven in the evening. We had until morning, until everyone discovered.

And God, what would happen if he didn't manage to close the Chamber again?

Had we sacrificed the safety of hundreds for our own selfish needs? Had we unleashed terror again just to get rid of a little bit of Dark Magic?

Surely, if I had to measure which was worse, the Chamber would earn that honour, because Salazar Slytherin's memory only affected the two of us, not an entire school.

No, no it affected more than me and him. It was already affecting Black. We had no proof it was him, but we knew, we knew Salazar Slytherin had got to Black, one way or another. And I knew that if his powers grew beyond what they were already, he would wreck other people's lives as well.

I put my hands over my eyes.

How had I got into this mess?

On the one hand, I saw no other way of destroying those papers, on the other hand, I saw no way of protecting the school as long as the Chamber was open.

But if Harry had destroyed the diary with basilisk venom, I had to believe in him. I had to believe it was worth the effort of trying.

So I waited, knees drawn to my chest and heart beating fast, for Riddle to remerge.

And if he didn't remerge, well... I wouldn't feel any tinge of regret, because his death wouldn't be on my hands.

* * *

When the clock chimed midnight, I began to grow restless. It had already been an hour.

And still no Riddle and the same dead silence.

I was pacing the room up and down, looking at the door from time to time, checking to see if the spells I had put on it were intact. I had cast a silencing spell on the room and had magically locked the door. But if a professor were to enter, my spell wouldn't be very effective. And a skilled wizard would notice the magic coming from the room.

I just hoped no one was foolish enough to venture here at night. Logically speaking, no one should have a reason to do that, but this was Hogwarts and Hogwarts didn't abide by logics.

After a while, I felt I couldn't take the wait anymore. It was already very late and I felt I had to do something. Usually when I get that impulse it means the opposite, that I should stay out of it.

But I wasn't thinking clearly that night.

And a strange feeling drew me towards the edge of the pit. I jumped in.

I coughed loudly. Specks of dust were floating all around me. I had fallen on something sticky and hard. My head was resting against a bone.

I got up slowly, my back aching. My feet were wobbling. That had been some fall.

The light that was coming from above was casting an eerie shade across the walls of the crypt. They were covered in spider webs, scratches and dry blood. There were also dead rats and insects scattered across the floor.

The ceiling was circular, like a caved tunnel. I started walking towards the clearing. I followed a path deeper and deeper into what was meant to be the Chamber.

I reached a heavy round door adorned with snakes. It was half open. This was proof enough that Riddle had got this close, at least. Only he could have opened it.

Without touching it or making any noise, I slipped through, my heart in my throat.

I was met with a harrowing sight I would not soon forget. In front of me was a dark and wet corridor, large snake heads on each side of it, their mouths open and their sharp teeth pointed at me.

When Harry had described this to me, I had never thought it could be this bleak and terrifying.

But what stopped the blood in my veins was the sight at the end of the corridor.

A gigantic lizard that resembled a snake, as big and heavy as the entire room was drawn up in a heap, his protuberant spiked head lurching towards a small figure in front of him.

His long tongue was hissing venom.

I recognized the figure as Tom Riddle. He was cowered before the monster, wand on the floor, next to his hands, his eyes gazing directly at his yellow ones, his face screwed into an expression of deep concentration. He was talking in Parseltongue.

What I could surmise from the monster's barely restrained attack and Riddle's defensive stand, was that he was trying to wield the creature, but that it was not working as planned.

The creature was lashing out, yelling strange sounds and swishing his tail impatiently.

Riddle already had two lacerations on his left arm. I saw him bleeding.

But I did not see the parchments. Maybe Riddle had them hidden under his robe, or maybe he had already given them to the beast to destroy.

If the latter were true, then...

Then there was no reason for me to prevent this from happening. There was no reason to intervene. There was no reason to save him now, not only because I would sorely fail, but because whether he had succeeded or not, it was best for us all, even best for him to die. He wouldn't want to grow up to be a decaying, old wizard, with nothing left to live for. And I wouldn't want to grow up in a world where he would be a constant threat. I'd want to see Harry happy with his parents. I'd like to see Hogwarts safe and sound. And no more killings, no more pain, no more fighting, no more wars.

All I had to do was turn my back and run away. I would go to Dumbledore and tell him the Chamber is open and we must take immediate action. Riddle's body would remain down here forever.

I had received a second chance to end the horrible rule of Lord Voldemort. To think I could have done it before. Fate was letting me have another shot, because fate wanted me to let him die, and this time, I couldn't let fate down. I would listen to fate and I wouldn't waste my chance on better feelings. This time I would do the right thing, which is doing nothing.

'Incendio!'

But truth be told, I've never liked doing the right thing. And, whatever any old Hat may say, I am a Gryffindor.

The creature's tail caught on fire. It was barely a flame, but it was enough for the beast to draw his attention towards me. I quickly looked away, knowing what those eyes would do to me.

The basilisk slithered away from Riddle and crawled towards me. I quickly ducked into an opposing tunnel.

I could feel the snake following me. I didn't dare look back. I just ran as fast as I could through those murky tunnels. The dirty pipe water had reached my socks. It was soaking my shoes.

I almost stumbled two times, but I gripped the walls for support and kept going.

Right towards the end of the tunnel, I ran into another one on my left. I felt the creature's teeth gnawing briefly at my feet when I jumped out of its way.

I think I had tears in my eyes. I was very scared. No matter how brave I might be, this was a ten feet monster with sharp, venomous teeth that was just waiting to devour me.

And I didn't have a magical sword to help me defeat it, like Harry had, back in second year.

The Gryffindor Sword wouldn't reappear just because I'm a true Gryffindor, would it?

Through sheer luck, I managed to find my way out of the tunnels and right at the other end of the corridor, where Riddle was kneeling.

'Greystone!' he yelled angrily. 'What the fuck did I tell you?'

'I couldn't wait any longer!'

'I told you to stay the fuck out! Now you're going to get yourself killed, you idiot!'

'Is that how you repay me for saving your life, _again_? If I hadn't come, you'd be a corpse right now.'

'No, I wouldn't be! Stop trying to be the bloody hero in this picture! Get the fuck out and let me handle the basilisk alone!'

'You didn't seem to be handling it a few moments ago!'

'Just stay out of this!'

Just then, one of the walls flew open as the basilisk emerged from the tunnels.

Riddle stood up and pointed his wand at it, yelling something in Parseltongue.

But the monster hauled at me again and I rolled on the floor, having barely avoided being thrown across the room by his large tail.

I crawled towards the tunnels on the other side, but the basilisk was faster than me and cut my way with his long body. I yelled Incendio again and jumped over him. The venom on his skin seeped through my clothes and burnt my skin.

Riddle caught my hand and pulled me up.

'Come on!'

We both ran into another tunnel, getting ourselves lost in the maze of underground pipes.

'Why isn't he listening to you?' I asked Riddle, panting.

'I don't know! He doesn't obey me anymore!'

'What about the parchments?'

'He swallowed them!'

'What? He...he swallowed them? Just like that?'

'Well he was going for my hand but he swallowed those instead!' he said as he pulled me into an opening.

'Does that mean they're gone?'

'I don't bloody know Greystone, but if we don't find our way back up we might be soon gone!'

'We can't just keep dodging him! We must find a weapon!' I said, almost tripping in the process. The water had got to my knees. It was increasing alarmingly fast.

Running through water wasn't as easy as it sounded.

Stones flew over our heads as the basilisk caved his way through another wall.

We lowered our heads and we kept running. I lost both my shoes in the process and my robes too.

I was gripping my wand hard. I didn't want to lose it. Although it seemed useless right now.

Suddenly we arrived at a clearing. It was a room of some sorts, but since it was so dark, you couldn't see the end of it. However, there was a dark pool of water in the middle.

The beast was catching up on us. I felt his breath right down my neck.

He hauled at Riddle and pushed him across the clearing, pinning him to the wall with the end of his tail.

Riddle screamed loudly, trying to extricate himself from the grip.

He coughed blood. The creature was gripping him too tight, almost squishing his insides.

The basilisk turned towards me and opened his wide mouth, grinding his teeth together in a harrowing sound.

My escape routes were blocked. Riddle was pinned. And my only way out was the pool of water in front of me where I could find my death drowning. Or getting attacked by some other nefarious creature.

But anything was better than the basilisk.

I dived right into the cold, black water.

At first, I couldn't see anything. I could only feel sharp needles of cold water digging into my skin. My limbs were numb, like I could barely move them at all.

Every movement I made was torturous. As I tried swimming, I felt every muscle in my body protesting and contracting in pain.

I heard the beast's howls up above.

I moved quickly, even if it hurt like hell. My goal was to swim to the other side.

It was pitch black, but I could tell by the creature's movements, that I was still close to him and I had to swim away.

I moved my wand, trying to cast some light. But the spell didn't work. The tip wouldn't light no matter how hard I tried. It was infuriating.

All of a sudden, I saw a small bright light in front of me. It was coming from somewhere within, somewhere deeper into the water.

It was a faint light, barely noticeable, but still it was glowing, glowing beautifully in the dark.

It felt warm and it grew stronger as I swam towards it.

I saw a couple of large grey stones at the bottom of the water. The light was coming from them. But it didn't make any sense, since they were just ordinary stones, from what I could tell.

But as I gently pulled one of the stones away, I discovered the source of this heavenly light.

My breath got caught in my throat.

Time stopped for me.

A beautiful, shimmering silver diadem was lying on the ground in front of me.

I didn't dare touch it, but as if it had read my thoughts, the diadem flew right into my hand.

It was such a beautiful thing to behold. The surface was smooth and warm. I noticed it had a small, blue stone in the middle.

I felt something deep stir inside of me. It troubled me. It felt like a desire to put it on my head.

The basilisk's howls woke me up from my reveries. I realized he was still trying to hunt me down.

Now that I had a source of light with me, I started swimming to the opposite shore. I was quickly losing oxygen though and I had no breath inside of me left.

I knew I couldn't reach the other side unless I got to the surface again.

So, even though I dreaded going up, I swam to the surface to get some air.

That's when the basilisk noticed me and jumped at me.

I didn't shut my eyes quickly enough and I met his yellow ones.

At this point, I was supposed to die and yet, nothing happened. I was still alive. I looked into his eyes again and saw that his had no effect on me.

I didn't know how that was possible. I knew I was Muggleborn, but then...

I looked down at the beautiful diadem glowing like a crystal in this dark and desolate place.

The desire to put it on my head got the better of me.

The monster seemed to be blinded by the light. He was not used to it.

And when its head neared my body, a shimmering blue shield suddenly appeared in front of him.

He tried pushing past it, but the shield scorched his skin and sent him backwards.

He howled in pain.

I saw from the corner of my eye that he had let Riddle go and the boy had fallen on the floor.

I stared at him in shock. He stared back with the same transfixed expression. His mouth was agape.

But I saw a flicker of recognition in his eyes. Something odd and undecipherable that told me he knew something I didn't. And for a brief moment, I felt I recognized something too, something in him that I had known for quite a while. It was the feeling you'd get from seeing a long lost relative. Someone you had thought was gone for good.

I swam towards him.

The basilisk had already crawled out of the clearing and into the tunnels. I heard his tail dragging along.

But that did not mean we were out of danger. We had to get out quickly.

Riddle grabbed my shoulder as he steadied himself.

'Where did you find this? Where did you find the diadem?'

'I found it at the bottom of the lake,' I explained.

He took it from my head and inspected it.

'We need to get out, Tom,' I said looking around anxiously.

He looked up surprised.

'You called me Tom.'

'Yes, I do that sometimes, now can we please get out of here? The creature will be back!'

'No, he won't. Not very soon,' Riddle said, walking towards the tunnels.

'What do you mean?'

'Well, he's obviously not going to attack us until he's sure that shield you just pulled out of your pants won't burn him to death.'

'Pulled out of my...How can you talk like that right now? You're bleeding,' I said, noticing the large red stains on his school shirt.

'Yes, Greystone. Ten points for the skillful observation.'

'Let me see them.'

Not a good time to share your interest for anatomy,' he muttered. 'We should leave.'

'Come on, just show me the cuts. I won't laugh or anything,' I pleaded.

'Why would you laugh?' he asked sheepishly.

'You're right, I don't know why I said that... Probably trying to earn your confidence and get you to let me look at those cuts. You know, diffuse the awkwardness.'

'You just amplified it.'

'Well, sorry if I can't function very well now but I just bloody saw a magical shield come out of nowhere! And this wicked diadem to boot!'

'I think you forgot the part where we almost got killed by a basilisk.'

'I'm serious, damn it! Open up the shirt! I know some healing spells.'

Riddle sighed and rolled up his sleeves.

'See? Barely nothing.'

The cuts were quite deep and he was bleeding profusely. They were going to get infected soon. One of them was on his shoulder, the other on his forearm.

Maybe I was paranoid but the latter was in the shape of a skull. Reminded me of the Mark.

'Barely nothing? Are you insane? You can't walk like this.'

He took a couple of steps.

'It seems that I can.'

'You know what I mean. Here, stand still for a minute...'

I worked out the healing charms that I did know, few as they were. I hoped they'd stop the bleeding at least.

I finally thought of one that would fit the situation.

A blue light emerged from the wand of my tip. Riddle yelped suddenly as I saw that the skin on his arm was actually moving, shrinking into itself. The cut was slightly covered this way.

'God, Greystone, was that a minor torture curse?'

'No, it's something I learnt from Madam Pom...the nurse.'

'You mean this spell is used in hospitals and such? Good grief, what a tedious affair.'

'Well, I'm sorry I don't have a needle and thread to stitch it up for you, I am sure that would be only a tickle.'

'Don't get smart Greystone. Not the time for that. We're in deep fucking trouble.'

'Yes, I can see that.' So let's just get out of here. I mean we have no reason to stick around. The parchments are probably gone, I hope.'

'They ought to be. I risked my life for them so they better be damn shreds by now..'

'Well, let's not risk anything anymore and get out of here.'

We carefully made our way back through the meandering tunnels.

The warm, gentle light of the diadem was our guide.

'Give it back to me now, you've held it enough,' I whispered.

Riddle raised a brow.

'Possessive aren't we?'

But before he finished the line, the diadem flew right into my hands.

'What is this object?' I wondered amazed.

'You really don't know what this is?'

'No, Riddle, but I'd be _eternally_ grateful if you told me,' I whispered back.

'I guess the more important question is _whose_ it is. If I'm not wrong, this might be the very diadem that our ancestors were talking about; Rowena Ravenclaw's diadem.'

'Rowena Ravenclaw? _The_ Rowena Ravenclaw?'

'It's a mere guess, but yes...I would say so.'

'Her again! It's like her name is everywhere. She is following me wherever I go. I am sick and tired of hearing about her in relation to me. I seriously am. But this diadem, was it hers? I didn't know school teachers, privileged as they may be, wore diadems.'

'Yes, it was her most precious possession apparently. Supposedly, she was buried with it,' he said.

'Then...what was it doing at the bottom of the lake? Unless _she _was buried there.'

'Greystone, you don't think...' he muttered, looking back at the clearing.

'No,' he said after a couple of moments. 'No, she can't be buried here. That would be absurd.'

'Maybe Salazar Slytherin stole it from her and hid it here,' I offered.

'Why would he do that?'

'Obviously the diadem is very powerful or did you not see how it repelled the basilisk?'

'Would you give it a rest with the shield already? What need would Salazar have of it? He could control the basilisk on his own.'

'Then he was using it for something else,' I said, but Riddle quickly shushed me.

'I think I hear d something.'

It was a faint sound. The sound of stones moving.

When we reached the snakes corridor, we found no basilisk, much to our surprise. There was no one. It was deserted.

But his lair was open. Salazar Slytherin's mouth was still open. Riddle approached it.

'What are you doing? That's dangerous,' I yelled, hurling him back.

'I know what I'm doing,' he retorted.

He walked over to the opening and looked inside, his wand lit.

'Oh, shit...'

'What is it? Is he there?'

'Worse,' he said turning towards me. 'He's not. He's gone.'

'What do you mean?'

'Look, he dug his way out of the lair.'

'Out of it? On the other side? But where would that lead him?'

'It should lead him to...'

We both knew how that sentence ended.

'The lake!' we both yelled at the same time.


	20. Live in the World

**Well, what is this you ask? Are your eyes cheating you? No, you guessed right. I magically updated again! Quicker, faster, stronger, better...how did that Daft Punk song go?**

**Anyway, I finally saw the The Deathly Hallows! And I must say, it was MUCH better than I expected :D It was quite brilliant actually! David Yates you are forgiven for your Halfblood Prince sins! You may continue living and directing, you have amended!**

**I think the dynamics in the trio was showcased wonderfully, I mean I finally saw them as a trio! It was the way they showed the separation in the film, the way they emphasised the loneliness, the despair, the need for one another. And the eventual reunion, the sheer relief and joy of having them back together. **

**And Gods, finally some more than average acting from Daniel, Emma and Rupert! They finally convinced me! I can't say who was best, because they all surpassed my expectations and they all had loads of material to work with. I would probably lean towards Emma. Still, Daniel did an amazing job too. Finally his crying and sufferance didn't make me cringe anymore!**

** As for the other members of the cast, simply superb! Helena Bonham Carter aced it, especially with the 'We'll have a chat, girl to girl,' line. Man, that sent shivers down my spine! And Severus Snape, Gods, even though he was on screen for only some minutes, he was just magnificent and conveyed so much through so little! And let us not forget the AMAZING actors who portrayed the Ministry employees the trio impersonated. My God, they were so brilliant! Harry's especially gave such a raw and powerful performance. I could taste the hate in his eyes when he was staring at Umbridge. Really nice job! My only complaint in the acting department, sadly, would be about our main villain, Voldy! Yeah, this may come as a shocker, but I found him a little stale in this one. I know he is trying, but I just can't see him as the all-evil, all-powerful fiend. He's just forcing himself to be a badass, not really being one. Towards the end, he does get consistently better and by the last scene I am pretty much sold, but still, I expect a lot more from him in the next one.**

**Giggle Moment: When Harry told Ron to keep talking about the ball of light in his chest. :D, When Ron just says 'Hey' when he returns and Hermione's reaction of course:D  
**

**Lol Moment: 'Don't look at me, Bill, I'm hideous!' Harry in a bra, Harry with Hermione's voice, Harry as the twins...LOL!**

**Holy Shit! Moment: Harry and Hermione making out in Ron's nightmare (WOW, was that believable or what? Gratuitous passionate make out for H/Hr shippers! Finally, their prayers were heard and got to see that on film), Nagini getting her dinner, Ron making out with that woman ('Mary, get the children, we need to get out of the country', no shit Ron?)  
**

**Crapped my pants Moment: Bathilda Bagshot and Harry scene. Yep, that one.**

**Cried my eyes out Moment: Dobby! Nooooo! (I mean I knew it was coming, but NOOOOOOO), Hermione crying after Ron left, the bastard!  
**

**Awwwww Moment: Ron and Hermione's hands almost touching while sleeping, the Goddamn caress! Geez, who would have thought I'd get riled up over Ron briefly caressing Hermione's face before she obliviated Dolohov? Plus, that gesture was followed by 'You're the best at spells!' Woman, open your eyes, that was him basically spelling it out for you! He loves you!**

**Pissed off Moment: Umbridge in the court room telling the poor woman she had lied. Gaaaah, you tell her Harry! Evil, old bat. Seriously, she is worse than Voldemort. And wasn't it brilliant how Harry told her what she had made him write years ago on his hand? I can't remember if he said that in the book, but that was awesome!**

**And finally...**

**James Bond Moment: When Ron carries Mafalda into the building and you only see her legs! HA! God, I squealed at that! Did anyone else hear the Bond theme song in their heads?  
**

**So now that I have tortured you with my movie impressions I'd like to thank all of you for the reviews and support for the last chapter (hoping for more though! greedy as usual). Thanks anonymous reviewers for leaving a comment and _Tips_, get some sleep right away! **

**This chapter is a bit of a hit and miss, but my chapters are usually like that. If you happen to spot any typos, so very sorry but it's kinda really late and...I have no other excuses.  
**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on the movie so do share impressions in your reviews or pms :D **

**Now, let's get , and if you've never heard this song, you need to go listen to it NOW. It will change you forever.  
**

_It starts in my belly_  
_ Then up to my heart_  
_ Into my mouth, I can't keep it shut_  
_ Do you recognise, the smell_  
_ Is that how you tell us apart_

_ I fool myself to sleep and dream_  
_ Nobody's here_  
_ No-one but me_  
_ So cool_  
_ You're hardly there_  
_ Why can't this, be killing you_

_ Frankenstein would want your mind_  
_ Your lovely head_  
_ Your lovely head_

_ Your lovely head_

Goldfrapp - Lovely Head_  
_

Chapter 20: Live in the World 

We had agreed where the Basilisk might be heading; now the trickier part was to get out of the Chamber.

You might be wondering; why would that be so hard? Just go back the way you came.

If only.

We thought the worst had been the Basilisk and since he had not torn us to pieces, we were tolerably safe.

We were very wrong.

As soon as we tried moving towards the exit, the snake heads positioned on each side of the corridor started moving.

Statues as they were, they had come to life. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, they blocked our exit with their stone tails.

They started hissing menacingly. Their fangs seemed quite real, despite the fact that they were made of stone. Their eyes had turned yellow.

One of them spat something in the middle of the corridor. It looked like something acid.

Then another one lunged at Riddle and threw him across the floor.

I screamed loudly as the stone snake bit into his leg.

Tom rolled on the floor, moaning in pain.

'It stings! Goddammit, it stings!' he yelped.

I rushed at his side, but before I could reach him I was pushed against the opposite wall.

The diadem fell from my grasp and landed roughly at my feet.

The snake hissed at it and swallowed it.

I blinked in disbelief looking at the empty spot at my feet. That bastard snake had just swollen the diadem.

That horrible vicious thing had taken _my_ diadem. It was mine.

'Give it back,' I muttered darkly.

The snake hissed at me and cackled. Or at least I thought he was cackling. Just to spite me.

I felt the anger rising up in me. I was tired and thirsty and injured and dirty and I had no more patience for these creatures.

I felt it at the tip of my fingers. I felt it like a summer breeze in the middle of winter. Something foreign but not entirely unpleasant. Something soothing right now. I relished in the feeling, because it made me feel stronger. My breath got heavier and heavier. My throat tight, my lips swollen, my tongue burning.

I knew it was coming. Dark Magic.

I hadn't been angry enough when Riddle had fought me in the corridor. I hadn't taken it seriously. Not when I knew he was just as vulnerable as I was, if not more. He was just a poor pawn. How could I muster any real anger when a part of me pitied him?

I hadn't been angry enough when the Basilisk attacked me because I didn't have time to feel anything and the creature hadn't managed to actually harm me, nor had he harmed anyone I loved.

But now, we were so close to getting out of here and these foul creatures were standing in our way. And one of them had taken something important from me. I had just found the diadem and I was not ready to part with it so quickly. I felt it had come to me, in the same way the sword had come to Harry.

I rose, barely keeping my balance and took out my wand, shaking.

I had learnt a couple of spells of Dark Magic while I was doing my research on it and I thought I could try them.

I felt a lump in my throat. I whispered the words, but nothing came out of my wand.

I whispered them again. Still, no results and Tom was writhing on the floor like a dying bird.

I stared the creature in the eye and only pointed my wand at it, letting all my pain and anger go through me, through the tip of that wand. I felt one with the wand. I didn't know Dark Magic worked that way. It felt a lot more powerful, it felt a lot more...whole.

A green light pierced the snake between the eyes. He hissed in pain and rose into the air. I attacked him again, feeling that with each new surge of power, I had more control. I was more satisfied.

He shrieked loudly and crashed into the high ceiling, making it crack in several places.

Another snake attacked me from behind. I swished my wand and his wide mouth reached his tail. He started swallowing himself.

I turned my head in disgust.

Tom, who had managed to get up, looked at me with hollow eyes. His face showed something akin to fear.

'What are you doing?' he yelled. 'You can't control Dark Magic!'

'It's not Dark Magic!' I yelled back, lying.

'Jane, once you start, you can't stop!' he yelled and coughed up blood. He grabbed his wand and deflected the attack of one of the snakes.

'You use it all the time!'

'Yes, I have learnt control!'

'No, you haven't!' I yelled and threw another spell, feeling completely empowered.

It was exhilarating, truly. Nothing came close to this.

I knew it was wrong, but it was at the moment what I needed to do.

The snake that had swollen the diadem was lying on the floor, large stones covering his body from the crack on the ceiling.

I mumbled a spell I knew and I made a laceration on his stomach. It was not deep enough to open it up.

I focused the Dark Magic towards that spell and tried again, until the cut drew a heavy amount of blood. It was as black as the night. I cut deeper and deeper, feeling his body tear into small pieces.

It frightened me, this feeling of power, it frightened me terribly, but at the same time, I felt I was invincible.

'Where is it? Where is the diadem?' I demanded.

'Accio diadem!' I tried. But nothing came out.

I approached the creature and looked down into his torn limbs. Only black blood and acid. My heart almost stopped when I noticed the same black liquid in his eyes, similar to tears.

I knelt and touched it. Touched its face. It was soft. Tears welled up in my eyes. I sank my hands into the mass of black and green and searched for the diadem.

Riddle, meanwhile, had managed to gain enough strength to kill one of the other snakes. I saw from the corner of my eye he was fighting the others.

At long last, I found the diadem. It was shining most conspicuously in that dark mess. And it was stainless and pristine.

But what I didn't bargain on finding was another object. My hand hit something hard and warm, something shaped in a strange, familiar way.

I retrieved a key. A simple, rusty, old key. I turned it on both sides but there was nothing on it. I put it in my pocket quickly, grabbed the diadem and ran towards Riddle.

'I've got an idea!' I shouted.

I aimed the wand at the ceiling and hit it with another green blast. It cracked even further. Large pieces of stone fell on the snakes.

'But how will we get out?' he asked.

'Let's draw the snakes towards the other end of the room!'

We started running towards Salazar's head and the snakes crawled towards us hungrily.

We started blasting the ceiling with all our might. We had to jump out of the way, otherwise the boulders would have crushed us.

Slowly but surely, they were all falling under the stones, squashed like bugs. Our attacks were also making them more vulnerable.

At length, only one of them was still left standing, but Riddle grabbed my hand all of a sudden and pulled me towards the door.

'No more time! Let's go! Now!'

We had a clear way towards the exit and he wanted to take advantage of that.

We ran with all our might until we saw the opening up above and the second-floor bathroom, just as we had left it.

We catapulted ourselves into the air and landed on the floor with a thud. My knees hurt terribly, but he helped me get up and supported me with his arms.

'Can you walk?'

'Of course I can,' I said pushing him away slightly. 'I've just faced a dozen vicious snakes. I think I can manage.'

I was panting and sweating heavily. The dread was still pouring through my veins. And the adrenaline of Dark Magic.

I looked into Riddle's eyes trying to explain to him, trying to mouth the words, to tell him how I felt, but he nodded his head and smiled weakly.

'I know. I feel it every day. I live on it.'

My mouth went dry.

'It is freedom and...and curse,' I whispered.

He sighed. 'That is why little witches shouldn't play evil. You can't handle it.'

'Yes, I can. I am not evil. I can defeat it with its own weapons.'

'What you are saying makes no sense, you know that?'

'No,' I said walking away from him. 'There's no time for this. We need to get to the lake.'

'What would the use be anyway?' Riddle asked spitefully.

But I ignored him. I didn't want to waste another minute. I rushed through the doors into the dark corridor. He followed me.

Already I felt the castle stirring. It was not perceptible at first, but I felt something was changed. I knew what had gone under hadn't gone completely unnoticed. The portraits were fully awake and whispering to each other worriedly as we made our way towards the entrance.

Creeping shadows moved across the hallways. The ghosts were moaning.

We arrived at the lake just in time to see the dreadful creature make his way out of the water. He swam across the lake towards the Dark Forest.

'We have to stop him!' I yelped. By now, I saw some windows lighting in the castle.

I heard noises behind me, footsteps in the Great Hall.

We ran towards the Basilisk with all our might. I couldn't feel my feet anymore. They were dead.

Riddle raised his hands in the air and whispered something. The air around his palms turned into a silver ball that hit the Basilisk.

Part of his skin was torn but it fell into the water, leaving behind a trail of blood and scales.

Riddle yelled at him in Parseltongue.

The creature miraculously stopped for a moment. He rose on his tail and faced him, golden eyes staring into blue ones.

Waves of water were gliding down his back. He hissed at Riddle in Parseltongue.

I saw him go white as a parchment.

'What is it? What is he saying?'

But the creature had already turned his head and dived into the lake once more.

'He said his master was calling him,' Tom told me, in a hollow voice.

'He said Salazar Slytherin was calling him.'

I fell on my knees, breathing hard.

'No, it can't be. That would mean...'

'He's alive. He's alive again,' Tom finished. He knelt down next to me. I saw his blood on the fresh snow.

The wound at his leg was bleeding profusely. He had got bitten.

'We need to get you to the Infirmary,' I said, feeling faint. The images swam before me. The colours were all a blur.

'I'm fine,' he whispered hoarsely.

But I wasn't apparently. I leant on him and fell in the snow, eyes shut.

* * *

The sun was scorching my eyes. I was sitting on a brown, old fence. My feet dangling in the air.

The sky was white with heat. And the heat was unbearable. A million ants biting into my skin. The grass smelt like burnt wood.

And the horizon was almost black in this light, almost unseen. There was no wind, not a stir. There was dust, only dust in the air and the dust was still.

I wiped my sweat from my brow.

I felt like I had been standing there for far too long, almost a century.

'Child, come here!' someone yelled from afar.

I turned my head in that direction. The voice was that of an elderly lady. She was waving her hand at me. I could see her from a distance. She was wearing a blue apron. Behind her, I traced the outline of a small house. But it barely looked like a house from that distance. It looked like a barn.

I saw crows flying from the roof.

'Child! Come here now!' she yelled again, signalling me with her hand.

I reluctantly got down and I started walking towards her. When I was near enough, I saw another tall building behind that barn and in front of the building, the most beautiful black carriage I had seen in my life.

'Stop wasting time, the Master, the Master is here to see us! Imagine, what an honour! He's come with Father Flannigan, good man he is! He told him about your good work in school. Oh, you are not washed at all! Your neck, let me see your neck?'

She yanked me by the shoulders roughly and turned my head around.

'Ah, you got all sorts of muds on ye! But go on! Get inside the house and dress! Quick!'

When I didn't move, she dragged me by the hand towards the tall building.

'Never do anything I say! Ungrateful lass! Nothin' good coming out of ye! You've got mind but nothin' else! Oh that'll serve you right!'

When we reached the black carriage, the door opened suddenly and a white hand appeared.

'Mrs. Claw, that will be enough. Child, come inside the carriage. I demand to speak with you.'

'Oh, merciful Sire, the poor girl is not well dressed or washed...' the woman began stuttering.

'I do not mind, let her in,' he said in a firm voice.

She pushed me inside quickly and bowed her head. I tried moving away from her, but the white hand grabbed mine quickly and drew me in. His grip was as tight as a vice. And just as painful.

'That will be all. Leave us at present,' he murmured.

Mrs. Claw bowed again and walked away, looking at us in fear.

I knew that voice. No matter how much I wished it was not true. But then, he always did have a terrible knack of appearing where he was not wanted.

Salazar Slytherin looked me up and down. He was slouched on the plush seat adorned with fur and precious stones, two green cushions under his feet. I saw that the plush was embroidered with red roses.

He was dressed in a white shirt and a pair of black breeches. He was wearing a silver necklace round his throat and a black ring on his middle finger. His cloak was green with emeralds at the hood and hem. They shone in the dark carriage.

His hair was tied back with a bow. His forehead was almost translucent.

'It's not a bed of red roses, but it will do, won't it?' he asked.

'What do you want? You got what you wanted out of me,' I hissed, fumbling for my wand, that was not there.

'I've come to talk to your parents. Father Flannigan told me about your great achievements at school. He said you are a gifted child. He told me what you can do.'

'Is...is this a memory or a dream?' I asked warily, looking back at the house.

'Both...and neither. It is a sad thing when a powerful witch like you is trapped in the body and mind of a stupid little girl.'

'Where is she? Where have you buried her?' I asked desperately.

He smiled confused.

'So what are these gifts that my friend has been telling me about?' he asked, tilting his head. 'Is it the gift of singing? The gift of dancing? The gift of poetry? Shall I enumerate all the Muses?'

'I can show you if you give me your wand,' I bit back.

To my surprise, he took it out of his pocket and offered it to me. I gaped at it in shock. I didn't know what to do.

'Take it. Take it and show me what you can do.'

I touched it hesitantly. Then I fully grasped it in my fingers, feeling its weight on my skin. It was not uncomfortable.

I held it softly in my hand.

'Well? Are you just going to stare at it?'

I gulped.

'Show me, show me what you are capable of. Do not hesitate. Do not be afraid.'

'Magic, magic should never inspire fear,' he added. 'It is...only a means of happiness.'

He smiled and caressed my face.

'What is happiness to you?' I suddenly asked.

'Oh, Rowena, you know what my happiness is,' he said, taking my hand and pressing it to his chest.

Where I felt no heartbeat. Just cold, dreadful, empty, desolate silence. A chest that was literally devoid of any life.

'My happiness is your heart. I require yours to replace mine.'

I stared at him in horror.

'You want me to give my heart to you?'

He nodded.

'So you can have it?'

'So I can have it for myself.'

'But that would mean I would be dead.'

'Oh, no, my little one, I would never let you die,' he said, exposing his teeth in a grin.

'You would. You would let me rotten somewhere. You would abandon me dead in the middle of the road.'

'No, no,' he repeated. 'I wouldn't let you.'

'That is why _I_ need to kill _you_.'

'Well, what is stopping you? You have my wand. I am, as they say, defenceless.'

I aimed the wand at him, feeling the pressure build up inside my fingers. I swallowed the dry saliva in my throat and held my breath.

'Be careful with your words. You must mean it,' he warned.

'I know.'

'I will wait,' he said, clasping his fingers together.

'Avada Kedavra!' I yelled.

The light came out of my wand and hit him square in the chest. He fell backwards on the pillows with a soft thud.

His handsome face was now clear and smooth, no wrinkles. His mouth curved in a small smile, barely there, barely visible. His cloak fallen to the floor.

Outside, I heard the crows and the woman calling out for someone.

I carefully stepped closer to him, touching his face. I turned it on both sides. I shook him. I slapped him hard over his forehead. Nothing, he did not move. He seemed truly dead.

I knocked on the black screen that was separating the horseman from us.

'I'm sorry, but this man has fainted.'

I heard a low grunt and he got off the horse quickly and opened the other carriage door. He carried his master outside into the boiling summer air.

He carried him towards the house, calling for help.

Mrs. Claw came running in quickly.

'Oh, dear! Someone fetch water! Wena, you cruel girl! Go fetch water! Oh Good Lord! Master Salazar!'

I felt my legs go weak as I stumbled through the garden in a daze.

'Where's the well?' I asked out loud, though I was feeling sick. I knelt next to a flight of steps. I leant my head against the cold stones.

Someone opened a door and walked down the steps. I quickly jumped up.

It was...me.

But it was not. It was a girl in a blue dress, just like the one I was wearing. Only her hair was up. And she was whistling. She walked, moving her hips to and fro in a playful manner.

She was humming a happy tune. She was carrying a heavy jug with her.

I followed her quietly, falling in step with her. I was mesmerised. You never get many chances in life, if any at all, to see yourself walking next to you. I took my time to observe her features.

She wrinkled her nose the same way I did. Her brows were just as sharp as mine. And even the way she moved her fingers over the jaw reminded me of my knitting for the house elves.

But there was a cruel smile playing on her lips. I thought of what the woman had told me. Cruel girl.

'_I was sent to go fetch water_,' she sang, '_from the old well down the hill. For the dead man at the window, for the black man in the dream. He is heartless, he is heartless, I tell you, how can it be?_'

She laughed and shook her head.

'_How can you bring back to life, a man as heartless as he? For he was dead before this life and without heart he lives and heartless men cannot be killed, all know this from times old. A heartless man killed in a dream, makes the man live in the world._'

'What do you mean, Rowena?' I asked her panting. 'What do you mean a heartless man cannot be killed?'

She cast me an indifferent glance and shrugged her shoulders. She continued in song again.

'_I was sent to go fetch water, from the old well down the hill...'_

'Yes, but what does it mean?' I asked exasperated.

'_A heartless man killed in a dream, makes the man live in the world,' _she repeated, smiling to herself.

I stopped and looked back at the house. My mind was unclear.

I saw rings of smoke fly up the chimney. They disappeared in the clouds.

I closed my eyes.

_...live in the world_,' she hummed.


	21. Pure and Holy: End of Part I

**Hello, my lovelies! I am back and this time I have prepared for you a ridiculously long and complicated chapter! Yes, I think it might be my longest yet, but you guys are worth it and of course, this story needs a lot of dedication. Thanks a bunch to all the wonderful reviewers, anonymous or not, for taking time to read and review, I appreciate it! :) This story wouldn't be where it is without you!**

**Now, this chapter marks the end of the first part. No worries however! Second Part will be continued normally as Chapter 22. But after this chapter, we're going to change the perspective. It won't be Jane/Hermione's point of view anymore, because we get to the serious, action-filled (hopefully) adventure part of the story and everyone will be on the run, especially our two leads :P**

**Oh and if the ending of this chapter is confusing, never fear, it will all make sense very soon, in Part II. As for Tom and Hermione, I would like to warn everyone that their relationship will be tricky and complicated in Part II. They will still be enemies, but we will see a gradual shift. Just letting you know in advance so you will know what to expect and hopefully, you will keep reading.**

**The title of this chapter will make sense latter in the chapter, if you were wondering. Also, I hope I haven't made any weird grammar mistakes. I revised the chapter, but I wrote so much I feel a bt worn-out. My typical excuse:) **

**Have fun reading! And please leave a review if you'd like to share some thoughts on this chapter! **

**P.S. The song is a tribute to Deathly Hallows, but it also goes insanely well with the chapter, in my opinion. It's sung by my darling Nick Cave, whom I adore and it is used in the dancing scene between Harry and Hermione :)**

_Hey, little train! Wait for me!_  
_ I once was blind but now_  
_ I see, have you left a seat for me?_  
_ Is that such a stretch of the imagination?_

_ Hey little train! Wait for me!_  
_ I was held in chains but now I'm free_  
_ I'm hanging in there, don't you see_  
_ In this process of elimination_

Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - O' Children_  
_

Chapter 21: Pure and Holy 

I was fairly conscious that I was asleep. I was also fairly conscious that I was about to wake up any moment now. That is because I was now trapped in that realm of half-sleep, half-wakefulness. I was out of the land of dreams but not yet back in the real world.

And in this realm, which cannot be defined in eloquent terms unless one experiences it, I thought I had found a way to understand myself. I thought I had found a chance to see into myself and into my dreams. I thought I could look over the sequences as if I were watching a movie.

The images passed before my eyes very fast, so fast indeed that I was more tormented than relieved to recapture them. Some of them were singled out clearly in my head, but they were not significant, or at least I thought they were not. And some of them, the ones I deigned more important, slipped before me like the waters of a river.

Wishing to conserve those precious dreams (or images of dreams), I thought speaking would somehow reconnect me to them.

So I asked, with all the sincerity that my heart could muster:

'Why did Salazar Slytherin die by my hands?'

It was the first question I literally thought of, because it was the one question that was most mystifying for me.

There came no vocal answer, but once again, I saw the fragments of some images.

And what I saw frightened me terribly. I thought I would relive his death; that I would see his lifeless body cast over his seat. I even extended my hands to touch his still face again.

But instead of a carriage, I saw a grave. It was actually a morsel of land but I could see the indents of a grave that had been dug there. It looked like a very old grave, almost imperceptible if one did not inspect it more closely, because it was covered by all sorts of plants and ferns.

And from this old grave, I saw a black snake immerging. It shot out of the cold soil and into the air. It landed on its tail on the ground. The ground was frozen. It was very cold outside. It looked like the creature was shivering. But then it started hissing maliciously, as if it was hungry.

I waited for the snake to attack me, but it remained poised on its tail, spitting out venomous words, no doubt. I realized I was not part of that dream. I would soon wake up. So he could not really hurt me, because I was in a different realm from his. I was just a spectator.

But I wondered why I had seen this and for what purpose.

Instead I heard a voice. A soothing, warm, calm voice that was lulling me into a state of listlessness.

I knew it was not the school nurse, her voice was stiff and hoarse. This one was as gentle as it could be. I rummaged through my head, trying to think of who it could be.

'Hermione.'

My eyes flew open instantly. There was only one person who called me that. My first reaction was to look around the room, to see if anyone had heard that. The Infirmary looked deserted. My bed was soaked in my sweat. I let out a breath and looked into Dumbledore's shimmering blue eyes, always the same pure shade, never wavering.

'Sir...'

'You have been sleeping for a while now. Are you alright?'

'I think so...' I said, rubbing my forehead. 'I was dreaming. But the basilisk, that was not a dream, was it?'

Dumbledore shook his head sadly.

'Sir, please...is everyone alright?' I asked wincing.

'Yes, everyone is safe for now, fortunately...'

'And...and the Chamber?'

'We have found it. A peculiar place for Salazar's secret room, I confess. It is still open, but entirely empty, I'm afraid.'

I nodded my head in fear.

Why was he being so calm, so collected about this entire situation? Why wasn't he worrying and panicking? Yes, he was Dumbledore, the greatest sorcerer alive, but a gigantic magical beast had just escaped Hogwarts. Was that not something to consider?

'Sir, the basilisk...'

'Has escaped. Yes, we have discovered that also. It was quite impossible to miss the tunnel he had caved from its old residence to the Black Lake. However, we have sent owls to the ministry informing them of the current situation and search parties have been formed all across the country. The Department of Control of Magical Creatures has promised to appoint some of their best men on the job.'

'Somehow that does not make me feel any better.'

'I know, I share your feelings exactly. One should not put all their faith in the Ministry. They tend to disappoint. Which is why I took the liberty to come and talk to you. Though you are barely recovering, I need you to tell me _everything_ that happened.'

I rubbed my eyes tiredly and looked down at my bruised hands.

Where could I possibly begin?

How could I possibly begin to explain everything that had happened? How could he understand?

I was too tired to tell him everything. I didn't really want to share all that I knew. It was not only because it would be hard to make myself understood, but also because I was not sure how Dumbledore would use this information. He was prone to make his own decisions, without consulting others. He might choose to use what I told him in a way that would not suit me.

It was at this point that I realized with sadness that Dumbledore was far away from me. He was sitting on a stool by my bed, but he couldn't possibly be further away. Many, many years stood between us.

He was just another teacher at Hogwarts now, not the dependable Headmaster I always ran to in times of need. I still had the same respect for him. I valued his mind and his magical abilities. I was also aware that he was a kind and diligent wizard who helped those in need without thinking of himself.

And yet, it was this last trait that drew me away.

This unusual habit of his of helping unconditionally, this altruistic behaviour that stretched beyond normal limits, it was so well instilled in his mind that, he could not perceive acting in any other way. And if he saw fit to help, he helped without the other person's conscious approval. He helped no matter the consequences at stake. And if in doing so he had to use certain methods, if he had to sacrifice certain things or make certain compromises, he wouldn't fall short from doing just that. The danger that was Albus Dumbledore was that once he started helping, he would never stop.

Therefore, I just could not confide in him as I used to. I could not put my faith in him and hope for the best.

No one seemed to deserve my trust in this world. Least of all Dumbledore, who had surmised who I was and where I had come from and still persisted in keeping me here against my will.

'Are you sure, Sir, that everyone is safe? No one looked in the creature's eyes?' I asked, trying to stall.

'I can assure you no student was harmed. It is true that some parents decided to take their children home for a period of time, but most of them are in class or in their dorms, safe from any sort of danger.'

'I see...I am glad.'

'Now, Jane, are you going to tell me?'

'I can't talk here, in the Infirmary,' I blurted out.

'We are completely alone,' he said, looking around. 'I have charmed the Infirmary and made sure no one would bother us. You are free to speak now.'

Panic rushed through my veins again. We were completely alone and he had probably cast a silencing charm on the Infirmary. He had made sure no one would _disturb_ us.

In other words, I was trapped in my bed. And I probably would not be able to reach the doors without him stopping me.

'There's not much to say,' I mumbled, ransacking my brain for a good excuse.

I realized in horror that the only person I really wanted to talk with right now was Tom Riddle. He knew everything that had happened and we were in this together.

'You saw what happened. The basilisk escaped from the Chamber,' I muttered.

'Yes, but Mr. Riddle opened the Chamber, am I correct?'

'I thought no one knew about this so-called secret.'

'Well, there were some of us who had our suspicions, I more than others.'

My anger instantly flared up at his confession.

'But you did not dare act on them,' I retorted, looking away. 'You let a young girl die because you were not _sure_.'

'Now, Jane, that is an unfair accusation.'

'No, it is not. You know, it is not. I'm sorry, Sir, but Hogwarts is not as safe as you think it is. It never was. And you wilfully refuse to see that! Your students are in danger because you let this happen!'

Dumbledore's shoulders sagged with the weight of my accusations. He seemed to be growing older right before me. His long white beard looked longer, his face more wrinkled and worn out.

His eyes, however, still as defiant and blue as ever.

'I tried my best to protect this school, but you will agree that I could not do it alone.'

I clamped my mouth shut. I knew he was right. He was the only teacher here that was not under some form of illusion.

'We must lock up the Chamber and find the monster,' I concluded.

'And what about Mr. Riddle?' Dumbledore asked, coughing. 'He is guilty of opening the Chamber again.'

I clenched my fists. 'No, it wasn't just him.'

'You mean someone helped him?'

'No, I just...I told him to do it.'

Dumbledore's eyebrows shot up in the air.

'Why would a Muggleborn ask Mr. Riddle to open the Chamber?'

'It was the basilisk venom. We needed basilisk venom,' I ruefully confessed.

'Why would you need that?'

I shut my mouth again and looked out the window. I did not want to answer, nor did I feel capable to do that.

'Jane, you need to be honest with me. I cannot help you otherwise.'

'I don't. I don't need your help. May I please see Tom Riddle?'

Dumbledore sighed and shook his head.

'I'm afraid you cannot.'

'Where is he? Have you taken him somewhere?' I asked, growing restless.

'Mr. Riddle is gone.'

It took half a second to register that.

'What - ?'

'He...he is gone, Jane. We have searched for him everywhere. He's not to be found. The last time we saw him was by the Black Lake.'

'How could he have vanished out of Hogwarts?'

'We believe he followed the beast into the Dark Forest.'

I pressed a hand over my mouth. 'No...Why did he do that? Idiot!'

'We have sent wizards to look for him, but we've found nothing.'

My shoulders sagged.

'He followed the beast,' I repeated hollowly. 'That makes no sense. He knows it would be futile! How can he hope to...'

'I don't know what Mr. Riddle _hopes_ to achieve by that, but it may not be what you expect,' Dumbledore replied.

'No matter, he shouldn't have disappeared like that. Why didn't he wait? He is such a stubborn git!'

'I agree. But I suppose he has always been impulsive.'

'He's a coward that's what he is,' I spat.

'A coward for leaving Hogwarts, or for leaving _you_ alone?' Dumbledore asked, raising a brow.

'What do you mean?'

'Well, he was the only other person who knew about this affair, wasn't he? You could only confide in him.'

The full-effect of this truth sank in much later. For now, I was just angry.

'No, I couldn't,' I said miserably. 'He is not worthy of my confidence.'

'We _will_ find him, Jane.'

'I don't really care,' I muttered.

'I know you do.'

'No, you do not, Sir. You don't know anything about me. Please stop talking as if you did.'

'But we can't find him unless you tell me what you wanted to do with the basilisk venom,' he continued undeterred.

'I cannot tell you.'

'Why not? I might be of help. I always try to help those in _need_ of it.'

'Because, Sir,' I said swallowing. 'You can't help me with this. And I don't need it.'

'You might not know you do. You came to me once with some curious parchments, Miss Greystone...'

'And nothing ever came out of that,' I said quickly.

'If it is Dark Magic you are dealing with, I must tell you, you cannot do this alone.'

'I won't even try. I am done with it. The object has been destroyed by the basilisk, in any case.'

Dumbledore sighed and rose from his seat. He walked towards a cabinet.

'Are you going to use Veritaserum on me?' I asked, feeling a bit panicky.

'No, that is not my personal tactic. I don't like using those means on students,' he said coldly. I instantly regretted the accusation.

When he returned, he was holding something in his hands. My eyes widened in shock. I started trembling.

'I happened to find this interest object on you. If I am not mistaken, it is one of Rowena Ravenclaw's magical objects. The lost diadem. It is said to have been hidden in Hogwarts. I see you've found it.'

I tried reaching for it, but he snatched it away.

'When you are ready to tell me more, Miss Greystone, I shall let you have the diadem,' he said smiling.

With that, he bid me good night and walked out of the Infirmary.

I felt my head very heavy as it fell on my pillow.

Tom Riddle was gone. And Dumbledore had taken my diadem. Rowena's diadem that is.

I felt a painful churn in my stomach.

Everything was going extremely wrong.

I wanted to escape. I wanted to see my parents. I wanted them to hug me and tell me that I was their strong girl and that everything would be alright. I wanted to see Harry play Quidditch again. I wanted to see his shaggy hair and large, cracked glasses. I wanted to laugh with the twins, I wanted Ginny to braid my hair, I wanted Mrs. Weasley to kiss me on my forehead like she usually did and make me pancakes, I wanted McGonagall to stay with me after class and talk to me about my future as a bright Mediwitch or a brilliant Auror.

And I wanted Ron to...

What did I want from him?

I wanted him to tell me that I would remember, some day.

But if I had a time-turner with me right now, if I was holding that tiny hourglass in my hand, would I use it? Would I turn it in my fingers and hope to wake up to a brand new world?

No. I couldn't do that anymore.

I couldn't try and run into the present. Because whether I liked it or not, this _was_ my present. And I had to undo the present I had created. I was responsible for this present and its consequences in my future.

* * *

When I was given back my clothes, I discovered I still had the key I had extracted from the stone snake in the Chamber of Secrets. I felt a bit safer knowing I had the key on my side. Even if the diadem was far from my reach.

I did not know what sort of key this was. I certainly did not know what it could open. I was sure though (more like had a feeling) that it could come in handy soon, that it was an object I had to keep, much like the diadem.

But the key did not hold the same spell on me. It was an interesting and mysterious object, but not as enticing as the diadem. Because the diadem exuded much more power, whereas the key was a simple instrument that would probably unlock other powers.

I almost felt these thoughts I was having weren't mine. That someone else was thinking them for me.

I shuddered to think that Salazar or anyone else had access to my private thoughts. When I was awake I was fairly safe. But when I fell into unconsciousness, I was a goner.

Right now, there were two things on my mind, or two persons, if you will: Tom and Salazar.

I wish I knew the whereabouts of the first and the mysterious signs of the latter.

The dream still puzzled me greatly, more so now that Tom had vanished. And Rowena Ravenclaw's song was stuck in my mind like a lullaby mothers would sing their children before going to bed.

Having no other possible solution at hand, I retreated my steps to the place where everything had begun; the library.

It was now around nine in the evening. It was also Friday. As expected, there was no one there.

I found my way to the Restricted Section again. The problem was that I did not know what I was looking for exactly. I did not know how or with what to begin my search. I usually had my own system of finding certain books or certain pieces of information.

Right now, there were many ideas floating in my head, some related to dream, some related to death, but none very clear.

The Restricted Section was locked. I realized with chagrin that Tom had the key.

I cursed loudly.

'Ahem...can I help you?'

I almost jumped out of my skin. It was the young librarian again. She had an aloof expression on her face.

'Oh, no not really,' I said waving my hand. 'I just wanted to get into the Restricted Section, but I don't have the key.'

'Well, you should talk to...'

'My House Prefect, I know. I am one. But the other Prefect has the key.'

'Oh, well then, that's too bad...' she said, shrugging her shoulders. 'Normally, I would give you a key as well, but we're a bit short on those. We've only got four keys, one for each House and two for the Heads of House.'

'I understand. It's quite alright. I don't suppose I'll find anything relevant anyway...'

The young girl arched her back and threw me an odd look.

'How do you mean? A library always has an answer. You just need to know what you're looking for.'

I stared at her confused.

'That means libraries are still limited, since they lack the means of telling us what to look for,' I explained.

She scratched her head and laughed.

'Well, that's why I'm here silly! I can tell you!'

I smiled awkwardly at her.

'Yes, I know, but I'm afraid you can't help me. I'm not saying you are not able, it's just that...well...'

'Well, what? What are your objections?' she asked, biting one of her nails. 'Ouch, I think I broke one of them. God, it takes hours to redo them, but I can't stop biting them. Such a bad habit, I know. It's just I'm never pleased with their shape.'

I rolled my eyes in frustration.

'Well, you seem much more preoccupied with other things...' I began.

'Oh, don't worry! I can fix my nails and help you at the same time!' she said cheerfully.

'No, I wouldn't want to impose. Are you sure you have no spare key?'

'No, and frankly, I don't see the big fuss about it anyway.'

'Sorry?'

'Honey, the Restricted Section isn't as mighty as you think it is. Just because it has the word Restricted, it doesn't mean it has anything more useful in it. Really, it's a sad, sad disguise.'

I opened my mouth in shock.

'Excuse me?'

'Well, you children will read just about anything that says Restricted over it,' she said rolling her eyes. 'So of course they put the most useless and basic textbooks there and spiced them up a little with some controversial magical research that none of you would understand anyway.'

I wasn't entirely sure what had happened, but I was completely baffled.

I had never heard her speak so eloquently before. Nor had I heard any librarian speak this way in a long while.

Her reasoning suddenly made sense. Those books hadn't been of much help when I first found them, but were not entirely devoid of some interesting, yet altogether harmless facts.

She was right. We found theory, but since we did not know how to apply it, it remained safely cryptic. This had been an old complaint of mine. It was comforting to hear someone else make a point of it.

'No one bothers to search this entire library which has much more to offer than that Section. You pick the easy way out by going there. Teachers are usually smarter than that,' she said, staring at her nails again.

'Then...then tell me where to find the books I need if you claim to be the expert,' I said, eyeing her suspiciously.

'Well, tell me what you're interested in,' she said, smiling eagerly.

'Magical dreams and their meanings, but not your standard textbook on dreams, I need something more concrete. I need something that would tell me more about the connection between dreams and reality, and how dreams can magically influence reality,' I said in one breath, fearing that she wouldn't understand otherwise.

'Hmm,' she said, frowning. 'Interesting topic you picked. Mighty fine one. Haven't heard such a topic in years.'

'Years? You mean you've heard it before?'

'Oh, yes, when I read the books on Magical Dreams,' she said wistfully. 'I quite fancied those.'

'And you happened to find that subject in your reading?'

'I suppose so. I read all of them after all.'

My eyes widened.

'All?'

'Well, all from this library and the one at the Ministry,' she explained smiling.

'Wait, were you particularly interested in this subject?'

'Well, not necessarily. I was interested in all subjects. I just read through all of them, well most of them that is,' she said, chuckling to herself.

'Most of them? How many?'

'Oh, I can't count them all!'

'Then an estimate?'

'Well, I've read just about every book in this library, although new publications appear each month and it's hard to keep track. And I've read the one at the Ministry and half of the Gringotts library which is truly a bore, too much mathematics and economics, and the Public Library at Diagon Alley, also the Vault of Sacred Documents in London and the Magical Archives in France, although my French is a bit rusty now,' she said, scratching her head.

I was speechless.

'You read _all_ that?'

'You look surprised. Why does everyone look surprised when I tell them? See, this is why I tell few people,' she said pouting.

'Who are you exactly?' I asked bewildered. 'I haven't met someone like you before.'

'Oh, I'm Annie,' she said extending her hand. I shook it.

'Annie Irma Pince that is. My mum really loved the name Irma for some reason. But I prefer Annie,' she said grinning.

'Irma Pince?' I exclaimed. 'You are Irma Pince?'

'Am I popular in the wizardly community then?' she asked laughing.

'No, but...well, I am just in shock. I didn't expect you to be like this at _all_.'

'I bet you didn't. I get this reaction loads of times. But I learned to cope. You look like a good reader too, Miss er...'

'It's Jane,' I mumbled.

'Jane, you look like a good reader too. I bet conversing with you would prove really interesting. Don't get a lot of that around here,' she said smiling sweetly.

'Miss Pince, I mean Annie, I'd be happy to talk to you if you could just help me with the book I need.'

'Sure thing. Step into my little room then. I'll make some nice tea. I'll even fix my nails while you look.'

I quickly found out what she meant by looking.

When I walked through the small door that led to her room, I found myself at the beginning of a long and sinuous corridor.

It was fairly dark and dusty. The floor was made of long wooden boards that creaked heavily when I stepped on them.

The corridor was filled with ominous shadows that just lingered around corners, waiting to swallow any possible source of light, which right now was Irma's wand.

'Up the stairs,' she said, taking my hand.

I saw, on a closer inspection, that the walls were covered in books, hundreds and hundreds of books, all named alphabetically, according to author and subject.

There were books under the staircase as well.

And in the room above, there were books just about everywhere, except for a small dressing table that was free of any paper and was instead filled with perfumes, nail polishes, lipsticks and other such cosmetics. There was a large gilded mirror above it that looked old and stained. There were a lot of photographs pinned to the frames. When I took a closer look, I realized they were all pictures of dogs.

I raised an eyebrow suspiciously. Why would anyone have so many photographs of dogs? It reminded me of Umbridge's teacup collection. I shuddered involuntarily.

There was also a heavy drawer in a corner whose doors swung to and fro. It was filled to the brim with work clothes from what I could gather. I saw a Hogwarts uniform too. Ravenclaw of course.

The room was lit by a large lamp just above our heads that floated around the room. It had five light bulbs in it. Every one of them had a different label. There was one called 'Reading', one 'Writing', one 'Skimming', one 'Browsing', and one 'Listening to Music.'

There was a huge radio atop a large brown tome. She turned it on and switched the last light bulb on.

Then she went into an adjacent room where she held a tiny kitchenette.

'Feel free to look over the books. But you'll have to turn the lamp to Browsing,' she said from the next room.

'I have my own collection of rare books. Basically all the stuff that should be in the Restricted Section,' she added.

I sat down on a small stool nearby, trying to recover from the shock of discovering that Irma Pince had been quite the young rebellious woman in her day and that she hadn't always worn a bun and a sad, disappointed frown on her face. I wondered what had happened to turn her into the somewhat cold and cynical old lady that she was in the present.

But something pricked me. I jumped up in pain. When I looked down I realized the seat of the stool was another book. It had a label over it. 'The Book of Merry Thoughts. Only Happy People Allowed.'

'Um, where is your collection of books on Dreaming?' I asked, fretful of touching anything else.

'Seventh shelf you see as you stand in front of the radio, fifth drawer, third placement,' she yelled from the kitchenette.

If these instructions were not confusing enough, her shelves were even more mystifying.

I found the seventh shelf by sheer luck really. There were ten small drawers, the size of a pocket book, stashed neatly into the shelf. I pulled the fifth.

I almost got pushed into the other wall.

An immense row of books came out of this drawer. All the books were tied into parcels. The parcels were numbered as 'placements'. There were about fifty placements here. I found the third, a pretty thick one, and took it out carefully.

I set the books I found on the small coffee table in the corner.

'I found them, I think.'

'Good job! I'm coming right now!'

She entered the room, carrying a small tray with teacups, spoons, saucers and a kettle.

She poured me a cup and placed it in my hands.

'Try it. Essence of Russian Literature.'

I almost spat out the tea.

'Essence of Russian Literature?' I asked amazed.

'Yes, yes, try it. It's one of the finest. Both the tea and the literature I mean,' she said, laughing.

I was a bit reluctant to drink it, but she was so excited to have me there that I even asked for a second cup after draining down the first.

'So, how is it?'

'Very good, thank you. It kind of tastes like snow and wood. Reminds me of Earl Grey Tea too.'

'I'm glad you like it,' she said, setting her cup down.

'Um, I don't mean to pry, but how did you manage to collect all these books?' I asked.

'Oh, that was easy. I stole most of the originals and replaced them with their copies instead,' she replied, smiling shyly.

'You, you did what?'

'Well, I wasn't going to let some stupid blokes misuse books they're never going to read, so there!' she said folding her hands.

'You know that's a crime, right?'

'As long as you aren't caught, there's no crime.'

'That's a dangerous way of thinking.'

'It's a practical one, hon. It comes in handy, believe me. You'll use it someday too.'

'I hope not.'

'Well, whatever you do, don't let good books go to waste. I was so afraid when I heard about the basilisk in the school! I mean I thought he might tear a whole through the library! Wouldn't that have been horrible!'

'Wait, you were afraid it would tear a hole through the library? What about the students in this school?'

Irma looked down at her feet and smiled shyly.

'Yes, you're right. The students are much more important, of course. Sorry, I get carried away. But I was really frightened. I even heard a student disappeared.'

_Tom_.

'Yeah, I know. I don't really want to talk about that, Irma.'

'Why not? Was he close to you?'

'No, not really.'

'He was in your House wasn't he? You must have been a little close.'

'Not exactly. I mean how close can you be to a person you sort of despise but have to coexist with anyway? I mean we had to face some things together and he did help me a couple of times and I helped him back, but he was a sod and I was far too nice to him,' I ranted, sipping from my tea.

'Well! That is quite a story! I didn't know you knew him so well.'

'Oh, I wish I didn't. I wish I had never met him actually. I hope he doesn't return. This school is better without him.'

'But you don't really believe that,' Irma said, tilting her head. 'You're probably just angry he's gone.'

'Why does everyone keep saying that?'

'You need some time to calm down and think rationally,' Irma told me, patting my hand.

'I am perfectly calm. I always try to stay calm, even in dire situations. Some would say it's one of my best traits. Maybe they're wrong, though. I mean I tend to lose my temper around him. But he is really hard to be civilized with.'

'You're probably scared for him,' Irma concluded.

'I'm not. I mean I know he can handle it on his own. He's done so before.'

'Your eyes say different,' she commented, smiling sadly. 'Yes, I tend to read eyes too. They tell a lot more than a book.'

'Then you must be reading me wrong, Miss Pince, because I am not scared for him. I am scared for myself really.'

'Aren't we all? I mean I can't imagine what would happen if Grindelwald took over Hogwarts.'

'Grindelwald is the least of my worries now,' I said, smiling bitterly.

'And? What is your biggest worry then?' Irma asked.

'You wouldn't believe it if I told you,' I said chuckling. 'I don't believe it myself.'

'You're probably just overwhelmed by everything that's going on,' she explained.

'_You _don't look overwhelmed. Here you are in your safe room, with your books and your library...' I said, looking around. 'It's a haven.'

'Yes, I can fool myself a while longer. I have my small luxuries, it's true. But they're just a good excuse not to look ahead of me, really. I can't picture myself living anywhere else. And if Hogwarts isn't the same, I'm not the same.'

'I know, I used to feel the same too,' I said, nodding my head in sorrow.

'Used?'

'Hogwarts is my favourite place in the world, but it's not where I feel safest,' I confessed.

We sipped from our cups in silence until the kettle emptied itself. After another couple of minutes, she got up and went to untie the parcel of books.

'Let's have a look, shall we?' she said, trying to sound cheerful.

* * *

We had been skimming the books for more than an hour or so, when the radio songs suddenly stopped and we were both brought back to reality by the news broadcast.

'Breaking news just in; it appears that muggle London has suffered yet another devastating attack from the Germans; the bombing of two churches and five public institutions by six Bf 109Bs, the death toll is raised at over 350 people. The Prime Minister, Winston Churchill, has made a public announcement which shall be broadcast shortly.'

Irma and I both stared at each other for a long time. Neither of us had the courage to say anything.

Irma dropped the book from her hands and went to the radio to turn up the volume.

'God have mercy on us all,' she finally said, lowering her eyes, her voice barely a whisper. 'And rest the souls of those poor men and women...and children.'

'Where is God in all of this?' I asked. 'He is not here.'

Irma felt pained. She placed a hand over my shoulder.

'It's not a very good time to be lost out there,' she mumbled. 'I hope Riddle is found soon.'

And for the first time, I had no will to argue, because I wanted the same thing. I wanted him to be found.

My eyes fell on the book in my laps. It had turned several pages because I had rested my head against it.

At first I just looked at it blindly. But after I wiped my small tears away, I saw the edgings of four drawings.

'Could you come here for a second?' I called out.

Irma drew next to me and peeked over my shoulder.

'What are these drawings?' I asked, pointing at four pictures on the page.

The first one depicted a man falling asleep in a parallel universe. Then in the second one, the man was confronted by a dark copy of himself in the dream world. It was a dark creature that shared similar features. The man raised his wand to kill it. Lastly, in the fourth one, I saw that the man who had been dreaming had died and the ghastly creature had taken over his world.

'Oh, these. It's an ancient ritual. It no longer exists. It's kind of a silly story too,' she mumbled.

'Tell me, please.'

'Well,' she said, sitting down next to me again, 'back in the old day, wizards were exploring the dream and its possibilities. They wanted to find immortality through dreams. Sort of double their life span if they could. So they created their alter-egos in the dream world through powerful sorcery that would bind them to that creature. But, like in every story, something has to go wrong. And something did. The alter-egos started rebelling against their masters. They had grown in power and had developed their own subterranean conscience and wanted to take over their real personas. The dreamers tried killing the creatures in their dreams, but by doing so, ended up bringing the creatures in the real world. I know, it sounds completely absurd, bringing an imaginary thing into reality. Trust me, it's all just legends. No real account of it has ever been registered in any case. It's just far too stupid to take seriously.'

'Well,' I replied, my throat dry, 'I have read more absurd things before. Magic has a way of surprising you that way.'

'Yes, but magical history is very relative, so take everything you read in these books with a grain of salt,' Irma said.

I nodded my head. I felt like a stranger to myself. My head hurt painfully. I couldn't erase the memory of his still image and my hands on his soft, cold, lifeless face.

I had felt so much relief to see him dead, even if it was just a dream.

I rubbed my eyes tiredly. These books just recounted stories, legends, not real facts. It was just a simple 'what if?' And interesting possibility. Nothing more.

Irma turned to the radio again because the Prime Minister had begun his speech. I listened half-heartedly.

'...we've lost wars, we've lost lives, but we won't lose heart! Their death was not in vain! Their death is the reason we should be living, their death should make us stronger! All across England, there's a state of turmoil and despair and I tell you, we must not succumb to it, because if we do, we are doomed to failure. We must rise from the ashes and continue our journey. We are hardly finished and we shall never surrender without a fight. I don't believe in wars, but I believe in something worth fighting for. And if we don't fight for this country, if we don't fight for our freedom, then we do not really deserve it...'

'I will go make some more tea,' Irma said quietly and shuffled towards the kitchenette.

I knelt next to the radio, flipping through the other books. The speech was broadcast three more times.

'... the naval control is considerably concerned about peculiar phenomena in the Irish Sea.'

My head snapped up.

'Locals and troupes alike have confirmed that the sea levels have dropped considerably and large amounts of fish have been found dead on the shore. While the officials suspect a case of an oil leak or toxic poisoning, they are not yet sure what they are dealing with. But they have promised to make this one of their primary concerns.'

I frowned. An odd feeling came over me. It was as if someone had jolted me. An electrical wave rushed through me. I shuddered and drew my knees to my chin.

Peculiar phenomena? I wasn't sure I wanted to know.

* * *

When I left Irma Pince's quarters that evening, she was kind enough to lend me the books on Dreams for as long as I needed. She made me promise I would return to visit her soon because she said she got very lonely all by herself there. I promised I would come back soon and said good night.

When I reached the Slytherin Common Room I found it completely deserted. It was half past ten and yet everyone had gone up to their dorms. Not even the usual First Years were up.

I suspected everyone was in a state of confusion due to their most prized and feared Slytherin's disappearance. It was certainly a shock for them to find out their symbolical leader had vanished.

I sat on the black leather sofa in front of the fire, trying to gather my thoughts. The green flames were not helping me focus. They were rather distracting actually.

I sighed and massaged my neck tiredly. I hadn't really slept well ever since the nightmares and I missed sleeping like a normal person.

My fingers brushed over my scar by accident. It felt like a sting. I quickly pulled away. It would do no good now to think about Riddle.

But I almost unconsciously touched my neck again and felt the skin around the scar. I couldn't help touching it. It was painful, but it was also comforting in a way. Because it reminded me that I was real and that everything that was happening was real.

It felt like an old memory, the scar. I couldn't help feeling possessive about it. I wondered if that's how Harry felt. If he felt the scar was part of him. If somehow, that part of him that was foreign could seem familiar at the same time.

I drew out my wand with shaky fingers. I shut my eyes and touched the scar with my wand.

I did not know what I was hoping would happen.

I just wanted to feel something. I wanted to know. I wanted to have a vision, a vision that would enlighten me. That would reveal the answers. That would tell me what to do.

I knew it could be destructive. After all, Harry's visions did nothing but harm him and play with his mind. But it had been one of those visions that had saved a life. He had saved Arthur Weasley because Voldemort had unwillingly let him see into his doings.

If I could just focus on the scar, if I could communicate with Tom, maybe I would know, maybe I would be given a sign.

I did not know what spell to use or what incantation. I just focused on the scar with all my will.

Nothing happened.

I sagged my shoulders in disappointment. I tried again.

Nothing.

I tried using Legilimens, thinking it might trigger a reaction. But no.

_Use Dark Magic, _a small voice in my head whispered venomously. It was my voice.

I shook my head and focused again.

'There has to be a better way.'

_Don't deny the way it makes you feel. Don't deny it._

'There is a better way,' I insisted.

_Didn't you feel undefeatable when you crushed the stone snakes? _

'No. I felt horrible. I felt lowly and cruel...'

_You felt you could achieve anything. And you can. You just have to let yourself do that. _

'I won't.'

_Do you really think it's called Dark Magic because it's all evil and bad? It's called Dark because it is unknown, it is a mystery. It is not something that just anyone can master._

'I can't master it.'

_You, of all people, should be able to do it. Because you have always had a secret desire in you. You have always wanted to prove yourself. And Dark Magic comes to those who are worthy. _

'Those who are worthy?'

_Forget about Tom Riddle. Forget about Salazar Slytherin. __**You**__ are the power to be feared. You have the upperhand. _

'Forget about Tom Riddle? About Salazar?' I asked myself.

_They are mere pawns, but you are the queen in this game. They have no real control over you. But you could control them. If you just allowed yourself to feel the magic. _

'Dark Magic.'

_Pure and Holy Dark Magic. _

'Dark Magic can be neither pure nor holy.'

_Magic in itself is not, but when the Dark and the Unknown element, Nymus, joins it, then it becomes as pure as a newborn child. And holy in its propensity. _

'Nymus?'

_Remember that you've been told only lies. They've lied to you, to everyone you know, they've all made you fear. You fear the unknown and you let them tell you it is evil. _

'What is a Nymus? Is it a soul?'

_It is the centre of light._

_'_Where is the centre of light?'

_Dark Magic holds the centre of light. You must reach it. You must see it with your own eyes. _

'Where?'

The wand touched the scar and the touch made a soft noise, like the click of a gun.

My sight split in half and a red river of blood coursed in front of my eyes. It smelt metallic and deathly.

A bright red light tore me from my thoughts and caught me in a vision.

I squinted my eyes in pain.

A figure was running up a hill. He was panting very hard. I could see he was full of scars and bruises. He looked exhausted.

He stopped by a large stone on his path and sat on it, breathing hard.

It was Tom.

He held his wand in his hands and shot a spell at the grass in front of him. It was Incendio. The spell was too weak however, because he barely managed to char the tips of the grass. He made another attempt but it was the same.

He shut his eyes and put his hands over his face.

I looked towards the mansion on the hill. It was sketched clearly on the night sky, a tall imposing building, Victorian in style, reigning over the surrounding lands.

I remembered it vaguely. It was the Riddle mansion.

'Tom,' I spoke softly, walking towards him. 'Tom, open your eyes.'

But he was still adamantly lost in his world, his hands over his face in a desperate attempt to block everything out. He was shivering as well. It was freezing outside.

The night sky fell heavy on his shoulders. He was still bleeding. He had Apparated for a long while, from what I could assume. Multiple Apparitions would do that to a person.

His hands were so scarred that I had to look away.

'Tom, why did you come here?' I asked him again.

He couldn't see me or hear me. I hung my head in resignation.

I approached him slowly and placed my hand over his bruised one. It was red and frozen. I applied pressure.

Something in him made him flinch all of a sudden. He rose from his seat and looked around worriedly.

'Who is there?' he asked hoarsely. His voice was cracked, but still maintained that false authority to it.

'It's me, it's Jane!'

'Who is there?'

'You have to come back!' I yelled. 'There's no point in going about it on your own.'

'Am I alone?' he asked again.

'No, I'm here, Tom. I'm here, but I can't stay for too long.'

'I sense Dark Magic,' he said more to himself. '_He_ must be close then.'

'I know you can hear me, just struggle to listen! You have to come back!'

'I am alone for now,' he repeated affirmatively.

'You idiot! You're going to die on this lunatic trip of yours! And while that would be a good thing for us all and would certainly make it impossible for you to harm anyone or inflict any further pain, it wouldn't mean the end of Salazar Slytherin!'

'I must be. No one has followed me,' he continued. 'Which means there is nothing to prevent me from meeting him.'

'Don't you see? You might have a chance of fighting this evil! You might have _one_ chance, one chance in a million to redeem your despicable and meaningless existence!' I screamed at the top of my lungs. 'You have a chance to give your life meaning!'

'I shouldn't wait any longer.'

'Tom!' I yelled, trying to grab his arm. I pulled as hard as I could.

'Tom, you need to come back!'

He stepped back in shock and looked about him wildly. He took out his wand again.

He started edging away from the stone in suspicion.

'What do you want from me?' he asked roughly.

'I want you to come back,' I pleaded again.

'Speak then! Let your presence be known!' he yelled.

'Don't go after him! Don't let him take you!' I yelled, as I felt the torrent sucking me in again.

'Do you want to kill me?' he suddenly asked, his voice low and soft.

I saw his features melting in a blur of dark colours. I hung onto his arm.

'You can't die now, because I need you!' I yelled as loud as I could before the image turned to black.

But I could have sworn that right before I shut my eyes, I heard him call back.

When I could breathe again which wasn't until after a while, I found myself sitting on the same black-leathered sofa, facing the fireplace.

* * *

_'Jane?'_

_'Jane?' Tom Riddle called out in bewilderment._

_'Jane,' he said, his eyes turning blue._

_He looked back towards the path he had come from._

_'Jane, I won't die,' he spoke._

_He suddenly felt a splitting pain at his head. It was coming again. The same bout of insanity. It always took him over the edge.  
_

_He knelt down and took his head in his hands. He yelled desperately into the night._

_He heard him coming. Fast and furious like a storm. But soft and smooth like a quiet river. The ever present evil._

_The basilisk roared from afar. From very distant lands._

_A light appeared at one of the mansion's windows._

_As his head hit the ground, he whispered something incoherently._

_'But you have to die for me...'_

_**End of Part I**  
_


	22. Part II: Weenie

**Well yes, my lovelies, it has been a while, hasn't it? I know, I know, I feel just as bad as you do, believe me. Finally the guilt trips have pushed me to start working again. Not that I had stopped entirely, no, no, I've been working on this chapter for a couple of months, actually.  
**

**The problem was, this was initially going to be in Middle English, the dialogue I mean. But yes, that fanciful idea never came to anything concrete. That's because learning Middle English is a bit difficult and it wasn't worth making you guys wait for another couple of months till I got the hang of it (I am studying it in college but I can't quite master it yet). So I'm sorry about that, I know it will not sound very um, veridic, but you will have to make an exception and suspend your sense of disbelief as you read in Modern English. I know, I know, I apologize, but it was too hard writing in Middle English. I hope you don't mind.  
**

**Part two, as promised, will not be from Jane's point of view anymore. In fact, we're going back to Rowena and Salazar to see how these two bumped heads. Well, don't worry, we'll get to Tom and Jane soon again, Part 2 will be short and sweet.**

**I hope you'll tune in for this one too, I promise it won't be bad :)**

**Once again, I was humbled by your kind and generous reviews which have helped me realize what my goal should be. Thanks so much for your encouragement and for your amazing support, I am very grateful to you all and I hope you'll keep reading, because I couldn't ask for better readers.**

**I hope you like the first chapter of Part 2 and sorry for its shortness, more will come, I promise :)  
**

**P.S. The new movie is coming out in a month you guys! I am so excited! It's only been yesterday since I saw Part 1 and now finally the epic finale we have been waiting for. Although I am torn because I never want it to end, I wish they'd just keep making movies until we'd just get tired of it all, which is impossible :) I was thinking of a Harry Potter TV Show but that would probably be a big, insulting mess, so I won't go there. Still, we have one more movie to go guys. After it ends, I just know I will sob like a ten year old. **

**Part II  
**

_Tiny darling ghost holder_  
_Tiny darling ghost holder_  
_You our soft spirit breather and_  
_You our bark skinned weaver_  
_Remember you could weep fire_  
_Remember you could weep fire with wild eyes_  
_With wild eyes, oh those wild eyes_

Mariee Sioux - Wild Eyes**  
**

Chapter 22: Weenie

The yellow fields, all dry and sultry, were no place for the young girl and her little brother.

The air shaking with bits of fire burnt their skin and tore off the layers hiding their white faces.

The dusty maples standing at the side of the road offered no shade. The travelers sitting under their branches stared at the cruel sunrays and cried.

The houses were far away. No one could fetch water.

You could die from heat even if you were a couple of steps away from home.

'Weenie. Water, water,' the little boy whispered, holding the hem of her dress.

She shook her head.

'No water here. We must go to the well to get some,' she explained, wiping her cinder stained nose.

The little boy made a face.

'It's too far away!' he complained. 'We must walk for miles!'

Rowena caressed his forehead. He was feverish. She knew she would have to watch over him tonight again.

'You ought to go look for mushrooms again. It will make you forget,' she told him.

But he was already forgetting many things. There were large gaps in his head. The bits and chunks which faded from his mind were replaced with memories of hunger and heat.

That is why, only five minutes later, he returned from his ruminations and pulled her hem again.

'Weenie, water please,' he moaned.

Rowena bent down and kissed his nose.

'We must go to the well to get some, I don't have any,' she repeated patiently.

She was standing against a tall white fence whose wood left red marks into her naked back, but she did not mind. Her basket of mushrooms was almost full. She had stopped to rest.

'But it's too far!' he cried upset again.

'I know. I wish it were closer, I do.'

The little boy bent down and grabbed a small mushroom from her basket.

'How did you find all the good ones?'

'I didn't. They're all bad. It's the drought,' she explained.

'So, there are no good mushrooms?'

Rowena smiled. 'You might find some good ones, if you are lucky enough.'

The boy nodded his head and his little lip trembled.

He was going to turn around and run into the tall, brown grass again, but an unprecedented moment of clarity overtook him and he stopped, arrested by a thought that had just come into his head.

He opened his mouth, but only the dry air came out.

Rowena frowned.

'What is it?'

'Weenie… I don't understand.'

Rowena shook her head. She did not appreciate being called Weenie all the time, but it was a name which had stuck despite all her attempts to seem worthy of her proper full name.

'What is it Balthy?'

Balthazar crossed his fingers trying to form his words.

'How come…how come you can make me fly, but you can't make water?'

Rowena sighed in frustration. He always asked the same questions.

She shifted her back on the burning fence.

'I've told you before. I don't know how. The powers come to me as they will. I can only receive them.'

'But…there must be a way to make water, if you can make me fly.'

'Yes, there must,' she agreed.

'I told you so!'

'Yes, but that power hasn't come to me it. When it does, I will give you as much water as you want.'

'Will you? You won't keep it for yourself?'

'Of course not. And I will be able to save our crops too. And all this land,' she said, pointing at the yellow fields.

'I would be so happy, Weenie. When do you think it will come?'

'Who can tell? Only fate may know. Maybe it will never come, though I hope it is not so.'

'Oh, Weenie! I really want it to come. I'll pray for it.'

'That might be helpful,' she said, nodding calmly. She had already got used to the idea that the mysterious powers she had been endowed with had a mind of their own and were only going to allow her very little freedom.

Ever since she had discovered them, she had been questioning her faith and whether she should keep believing in God's power.

Even before, she had been doubtful of Him, but now she had more reason to think of her powers as something ungodly, beyond His natural realms.

'Maybe it is God sent,' her little brother would say wisely.

But she was very skeptical of that possibility. She had been taught that all the creatures yielding unknown powers were the devil's daemons.

'Maybe we should tell the minister. He will pray with us,' Balthazar suggested.

'No. Don't ever do that. He won't like it,' she said quickly, shaking her head firmly.

'Why not?'

'The minister wouldn't like little children flying,' she explained.

'I'm sure once you make him fly too, he'll love it.'

Rowena laughed out loud and rubbed the back of her nape. She drew out blood. Her eyes widened. The fence had scratched at her skin. She wiped it quickly, whispering something under her breath.

A heavy breeze washed their faces.

'Weenie, there's no one around,' Balthazar began in a secretive voice.

Rowena raised an eyebrow unconvinced.

'Balthy, you know what I told you. Only once a week. We might get seen.'

'But there's no one around! I looked! Look for yourself!'

Rowena shook her head.

'There is no one now but someone might come. I do not want to take any chances,' she said briskly.

'Please, please, please Weenie!' he almost shrieked.

'Balthy, please, be a good boy. We can't.'

'But there's no water, Weenie. We are dying! At least let me fly!'

Rowena kept refusing, but her little brother kept begging with all the strength that was left in him.

'Will it really make you less thirsty?' she asked, wavering.

'Oh, you know it does! I forget about everything! I even forget I am alive. I just dream,' he said wistfully.

After Rowena made sure there were no eavesdroppers in sight, she grabbed his tiny hand and walked with him briskly to the other side of the meadow where the tall bushes were shivering in the breeze.

She walked away a few steps and raised her hands over her brother's small, frail form. He wasn't hard to lift, he was as light as a feather sometimes.

When she felt strong, she could lift him as high as the last branches of the maples, but she was not going to lift him so high today because she had not eaten anything since the day before. Her mother had punished her for coming home late from the village.

'Weenie, pull me higher!'

Balthazar was slowly rising in the air, leaving the ground somewhere behind. He closed his eyes. He wanted to imagine he was far away, floating on a cloud. He didn't like looking down. He did not wish to be reminded he would have to come down. He could just imagine the earth had disappeared and would never return.

Rowena frowned in concentration and started moving him to and fro, in a swinging motion. He giggled.

She looked around frightened. There was no one in sight, as usual, but she was always afraid she would be discovered.

It was unfortunate for her that someone really was watching then.

The young man had been lying in the grass, looking for some herbs for his potions. He had fallen asleep by mistake. It was so hot and sultry here that it proved difficult to stay awake.

He had been woken up by a pair of soft voices.

He had drawn up in irritation for having let himself rest for so long. He blinked mystified. For a moment, he forgot where he was. He wondered how he had got in the middle of nowhere.

The smell of burnt leaves reminded him.

He stared at the sky. He was tormented by the thoughts of going back to the castle empty-handed again.

His Invisible cloak lay crumpled on the ground. He sighed and got up, shaking it roughly.

It was then that he saw the little boy flying in the air.

The sight stopped him in motion.

He could not believe his eyes. He thought he must be seeing things.

Was there a wizard close by? He did not know of any.

He didn't remember Godric or Helga coming out of the castle that day. He particularly remembered seeing them in the garden, talking.

He threw the cloak over him and approached the unknowing Rowena and Balthazar.

He saw a tall young girl wielding a plump little boy with her hands. He was several feet higher than the bushes. But he saw no wand.

He was astounded.

Who was this young woman and how could she lift a body into the air without a wand? What kind of insensible witch was this?

And for that matter, how could Orsino, his trusted servant, have hidden the fact that there was a witch in the village?

His eye travelled over the length of her sweaty, dust-covered face. Her eyes were shining with a burden unknown to him.

She looked fairly young and inexperienced. He found it hard to believe she was an actual witch or that she had any learning for that matter. She seemed simple. Perhaps she was of some mixed blood.

He imagined she was a peasant, judging by her clothes and her dirty, bruised legs.

But something in her fierce expression made him recoil.

Despite his mind's aversion, he was jealous of her. She could wield magic without a wand.

It was not a pleasant feeling for Salazar Slytherin.

Whenever Godric accomplished something he could not himself do, he got very angry and suffered great pains in order to surpass him.

But not even Godric himself could wield magic without a wand.

Was this an accident? Or was it a new breed of blood?

'Weenie! Weenie, higher!'

'No, it's enough,' she said, panting.

_Weenie?_ he asked himself stupefied. _Weenie?_

_What a horrible name_, he thought.

Rowena lowered him softly on the muddy earth as she dropped to her knees, breathing heavily.

She was dazed by the waves of sweat pouring down her face, wetting her eye. She shook herself and got up with a feeling of disappointment. Had she eaten something, she could have done much better.

Salazar clenched his fists under his cloak. He wished he could reveal himself and ask her some much deserved questions.

Rowena suddenly walked towards him. He froze in his spot, watching her carefully. She could not possibly see him.

But Rowena had spotted something glittering in the grass before her.

She stopped right in front of him, sighing briefly.

She extended her hand. Her fingers almost touched his shoulder. She pushed away the bushes and stepped into the empty meadow.

She bent down and picked up what looked like a small emerald.

It was a crusted green stone fallen from his shirt. It had come off during his short period of sleep.

She looked it over in fascination. Her heart started racing as she realized it was probably precious and worth some gold.

'Balthy, I found something! Come on, we must show mama!' she yelped, running past Salazar as if he was nothing but air.

She looked like a wild deer, chasing through desolate lands.

Balthy followed her happily, murmuring some silly lullaby as his stodgy feet dragged behind him.

'Wait, Weenie, wait!' he yelped.

Soon, she became a black figure on the bright, glaring horizon, like a raven cut from the sky.

Only when she was out of sight, did Salazar release a heavy breath.

He felt ridiculous for having waited for so long to move. She was nothing to be afraid of. She was a common thief, taking what wasn't hers without a single hesitance.

But she was unordinary in the most irritable sense of the word. Salazar did not like new magical guests on his land.

But he was determined to discover her power and take it from her.


End file.
